Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Mia
“Istill don’t understand, Mia,” Mom was saying from the front seat. Dad was driving, and Ruby and I were sharing the back seat. I was eleven years old all over again.
Mom insisted on us driving up together for our summer vacation, just like we always had when we were younger.
It’s a tradition, she’d say when Ruby or I brought up driving ourselves.
If the tradition excuse didn’t work, she’d pull out the Your dad and I are both getting older, and we don’t get to spend enough time with you.
That guilt trip always worked, no matter how much I dreaded spending four hours stuck in a car with my parents.
Ruby’s promises of never coming on the annual family trip never held up.
Mom used the same strategies she used on me to guilt her into coming—and for that I was thankful.
I couldn’t do a week with my parents without her.
Particularly this week, since they’d found out just this morning that Archer wasn’t coming with us as planned.
“We’re taking a break,” I explained.
That was what I’d said to Archer too. A break seemed less final than breaking up. Maybe after some time being on a break, it would be easier to end things permanently. Especially if for the first part of it we were four hours apart.
It wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have completely ended it with him, but when I’d brought up taking some time apart, he had lost the unflappable attitude I was accustomed to.
He at first blamed Laura, Rachel, and Mindi, claiming that they must’ve told me something about him that made me look at him differently, which made me wonder what they had seen of him in the past.
When he’d realized that wasn’t the case, he’d quickly shifted blame to Ruby, knowing that she wasn’t his biggest fan.
I’d shut that down quickly. Finally, Archer got into self-deprecation, bringing up regrets about all the things he’d been doing to help me “better myself.” He’d said it in such a way that I questioned if he was being genuine or just trying to say the things I wanted to hear.
Though he was partially right—his unacceptance of me and how I was had put a wedge between us.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth: that Bower made me feel things he never did and never could.
We had a history together that couldn’t be replicated, and I would be forever wondering what we could’ve had if I stayed with Archer.
So when tears had begun falling down Archer’s cheeks, something I had never seen before, I’d folded. Just a little. I’d called it a break, told him we would talk when I got back. I already was not looking forward to that conversation.
Mom was still rambling on. “I just don’t get it. You leave a man with all of that.” By that, she meant money. Influence.
I didn’t have a good excuse for her. To someone on the outside, it looked like a stupid decision. I couldn’t tell her I still had feelings for Bower, feelings that I needed to explore. She had already made it quite clear what she thought about young love and how it would never work.
“We wanted better for you,” she said. “More than what your father and I could give you girls growing up.”
That took me back. I looked at Ruby next to me. Her lips pursed, shaking her head. I’d known they’d struggled raising a family on two teachers’ salaries, but I’d never realized this was why she wanted me to have Archer’s money.
“You brought us on this vacation for a week every year!” I said, unable to stop from raising my voice. The money talk and how I had given up a man whose only feature in my parents’ eyes was the wealth he had was getting on my nerves.
“To Agate Harbors?” She almost let out a laugh. “Like I said, we wanted better for you!” Mom was speaking in raised tones now too. Dad put his hand on her leg.
Steam was coming out of my ears. Suddenly she was too good for the resort that Bower was working hard to fix up?
The place where I’d made my happiest childhood memories?
It was far from the dump she projected it to be.
In my eyes, it was the most beautiful place on earth.
Agate Harbors had that aura. It was someplace magical.
A piece of hair fell out of my ponytail and tickled my nose. I ripped the hair tie out of my head and got to work retying it. Mom glanced in the rearview mirror at me before looking away disapprovingly.
“We have twenty more minutes until we’re there,” Ruby whispered, resting a hand on my arm reassuringly.
I needed to last twenty more minutes without blowing up. I could do that. Then I would be in Agate Harbors.
This week was going to be an experiment of sorts.
I’d avoided Bower for the rest of my bachelorette weekend.
It was embarrassing enough being continually reminded by my “friends” that he had carried me home the night before—I couldn’t risk embarrassing myself further by running into him.
I had been hungover and didn’t have the slightest idea of what I would’ve said to him.
We’d ordered pizza to our cabin—much to the girls’ disappointment—and watched old rom-com DVDs until we’d fallen asleep on the couch, only crawling to bed once the title menu music had woken us up.
Sunday morning, everyone had been up early and ready to go home. Ruby had called a car service to drive us home, and I’d texted Archer to cancel the party bus that was scheduled to pick us up after lunch. We’d dropped the cabin keys into the lodge’s mailbox before driving away.
The moment Agate Harbors had disappeared from the rearview mirror was the moment I’d decided to end things with Archer. It’d felt like I’d forgotten something—a part of me—back at the resort, and I knew I had to go back and see if what I’d felt between Bower and me was more than just a spark.
Had I made the right decision? In first-grade science, I taught my students the word hypothesis.
This week I had one to test. If I spend the week at Agate Harbors, I will leave knowing that I made the right decision.
There were a lot of variables to take into consideration.
First, who Bower was as a person. I didn’t know the man who had cornered me in the hallway of the bar two weeks ago.
I’d like to think I did, but people changed a lot over nine years.
Second, Bower’s feelings toward me. He’d asked me to give him a chance, but he’d never outright said exactly how he felt about me.
That was more of an assumption on my part.
Third, my feelings toward Bower. I had felt a spark between us.
Was it just because we hadn’t seen each other in nine years and he looked like a hot-ass lumberjack?
I didn’t think so. That spark still had to be there.
It was time to put my hypothesis to the test. If only it would prove true.
“Go find him, Mia.”
I was standing on the deck, trying to get a glimpse of the lodge between the trees.
If I could see him, figure out where he was, I could plan my approach.
I wanted to see Bower—I really did—but the anxiety of what was riding on this week was beginning to get to me.
The smell of the cabin, the magic of Agate Harbors had already infiltrated my body.
I was a different person up here, and I didn’t want anything to change that. Even Bower.
“What if I’m wrong? What if the spark isn’t there anymore?” I bent over the deck, propping my elbows on the drink rail, my head in my hands. “What if I dumped my fiancé for no reason?”
Ruby laughed. She crossed her arms, leaning her back against the railing next to me.
“You two practically started a fire at the bar two weeks ago. The spark is there.” Ruby shook her head.
“And as for dumping your fiancé, you had a shit ton of reasons to dump him. It’s the best decision you’ve made all year. ”
I frowned at her, taking a step back from the railing. “You never liked Archer.”
“Archer is fine. I didn’t like who you were when you were with him,” she said.
“You were always trying to become something you weren’t.
It was like watching eleven-year-old Mia try to please our parents, except you were trying to please someone who was supposed to be your partner.
Someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally. Archer gave you a lot of conditions.”
“So, you never liked Archer,” I pressed.
Ruby tilted her head. “Nope. I guess I never did.”
“Fine, I’ll go find Bower. Only because you’re making me.” I turned and walked toward the stairs.
I heard her chuckle behind me. “Mm-hmm. Keep telling yourself that.”
The path to the lodge was etched into my brain. I could find it with my eyes closed. The familiar sights of Betty’s clothesline and the porch we’d sit on with our Popsicles brought a smile to my face. It felt like coming home.
“Let’s go back to the cabin,” I heard Gill say. “You’ve had a long day, and it’s time to relax.”
“Don’t tell me to relax! I don’t know you!” Betty’s voice rang clear from behind the towels hanging on the clothesline.
I picked up my pace, jogging, ripping towels off the clothesline to see what was going on.
I hadn’t exchanged more than pleasantries with the Hansons since Bower’s sudden departure, only a simple “Hello” during the week our family vacationed, and I hadn’t seen them at all during my bachelorette party.
But something sounded off in Betty’s voice, and I was determined to find out what was the matter.
Behind the third towel I pulled down were Gill and Betty. I stood there looking at them, out of breath from the adrenaline spike coursing through my body.
“Mia? Is that you?” Betty’s voice sounded like music to my ears.
Gill looked at his wife with trepidation.
“Yeah, it’s me. What’s going on here?”
Gill looked between me and Betty, his mouth open.
“You’ll catch flies in that trap if you don’t close it up,” Betty said to him before walking toward me. “I’m so glad to see you!” She pulled me into her bosom, wrapping her warm arms around me. “Boy, you’ve gotten a whole lot taller since last year.”
“Have I?” I asked. I hadn’t grown taller since I’d been in high school. I looked between Gill and Betty when she released me. “Is there a prob—”
“No problem. No problem here.” Gill was quick to interject. “We’re happy to see you, Mia.”
I didn’t know what was going on. Maybe I’d heard wrong. I could’ve sworn Betty had said I don’t know you, but if she was saying that to Gill, that didn’t make sense.
“I’ve got something for you, Mia. It’s inside. Let me go see if I can find it.” Betty turned around and shuffled toward the cabin.
Gill paused, like he wanted to say something to me, but he took a breath before turning around and following his wife.
I had so many questions, but it seemed this year would be the same as every other year. Only pleasantries with Betty and Gill now.
“What are you doing here?”
Bower’s voice.
I turned and saw him, paused in his approach to the lodge. He must’ve just gotten off the boat. The bridge of his nose and his cheeks were red from the sun. He needed to turn his hat the other way around—it would both protect him from the sun and make him a lot less…attractive.
Crap. Less than a minute seeing him and I was already getting distracted by how hot he was.
I stiffened, saying, “This is the week I’m always here.”
Bower made a humph sound before continuing toward me. He wore a light-gray T-shirt today. It had questionable smears of goo on it, like he’d been fishing and had to wrestle a northern into the net.
I deflated quickly. This wasn’t going at all the way I’d wanted it to. I licked my lips, bolstering my courage, then said, “I was hoping we could talk—”
“Hey, I need a little help!”
I peeked around Bower to find the cutest little boy, not more than seven, with round glasses and blond hair that had missed several haircuts.
He was carrying a net twice the size of his body with a fish that probably weighed close to his own weight.
Bower turned around quickly, taking the net from the boy with ease.
“I caught it myself!” the boy told me, his wide smile showing off several missing teeth.
“Did not!” another boy shouted, coming up behind them. He pointed to Bower. “He had to help you cast and reel and lift it out of the water.” The boy with glasses shoved him. They looked like they could be twins, if there weren’t six inches of height separating them. Definitely brothers.
“Hey, why don’t I meet you over at the fish cleaning table and I’ll show you how to gut it?” Bower directed the boys to the fish-cleaning station up past the lodge.
“With a knife?”
“Yep.” He nodded.
“Will we get to see the guts?”
“Of course.”
The boys ran ahead, thrilled at the opportunity to decapitate a fish. Bower stood there with the net in his hand, the fish still dripping water from the lake.
My jaw dropped at the exchange. He had acted so paternal. It had been nine years since I’d seen him, and the boys looked to be about seven and five. It was totally feasible he had children—
“They’re guests, Mia. I took them fishing,” Bower said, cutting into my thoughts, reading my mind like he always had.
“Of course they are,” I said, pretending like I hadn’t thought anything else. He’d make a great father, but that wasn’t the point.
“I’ve gotta go gut some fish.” Bower walked by me, passing close enough that I got a good look at his tattoos in the daylight.
One of his arms was a full sleeve of swirls and loops.
I couldn’t help but notice how the veins in his forearms bulged under the weight of the fish he was carrying. I turned, watching him walk away.
I took a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy.
He’d poured his heart out to me two weeks ago, told me to give him a chance. I’d gotten drunk and hidden from him instead of confronting what I’d felt between us.
That was before. Now I was here, sans fiancé, ready to give us a chance.
Bower continued to walk away. He didn’t even turn around to check if I was still standing here.
But that was okay. I wasn’t a quitter.
I had a week here to figure out if Bower was the same guy I’d fallen for when I was younger. Plenty of time at my disposal. He couldn’t be fishing with adorable children all the time. I could use this week to become his shadow. It wouldn’t be hard; I knew this resort like the back of my hand.
There’s no hiding from me, Bower Hanson.