Chapter 13 #2
“From what I’ve heard, that was more of an Eric problem than something wrong with you, Juno,” West said, stopping me.
“From our perspective, it’s easy to point out what was messed up in that relationship, but everything you’ve said points to him being the issue, not you.
He sounds like a selfish asshole who only cared about himself, and that’s not a relationship.
” He paused, scanning my face as if trying to figure me out, then sat back with a curse. “I get it, and I don’t blame you.”
“What do you get?” I said warily.
“You believe that’s how all relationships function,” he mused, rubbing a hand over his jaw as he studied me. “That’s what you meant by being broken. You think all the dysfunction in that relationship was your fault, which means every other relationship will be the same.”
I lifted both shoulders in a minuscule shrug. “It’s easy to think that when that’s what you’ve been told”—a single tear escaped and slipped down my cheek—“your whole life.”
“Look at me.” With a small headshake, I lowered my gaze to Langston’s boots. “I said look at me, Juno, now.” The dominant command in his tone had me raising my head just enough to see through my dark lashes. “Fuck them.”
I jerked back, startled at the intensity in his loud voice.
West reached over and patted Langston’s thigh with a wince. “I think what my not-so-eloquent friend is trying to say is, who cares what they think? They were wrong. You see that now, right?”
I angled my head from side to side in a so-so gesture.
“It’s ultimately why I left like a damn thief in the night.
I realized he wasn’t trying to save us, or at the very least putting in the bare-minimum effort, and I had to stop disappearing into the idea of saving us or there wouldn’t be anything left of the real me to salvage.
So I ran, had a few great, peaceful months making friends and healing from all that trauma, and then boom.
” I gestured to Langston. “Captain Asshole ferries my worst nightmare straight to my little sanctuary.” Brow arched, I shook my head in disapproval.
“I’m still confused about how all that came about.
West tried to explain, but I wasn’t really listening at the time—panic attack and all that. ”
Langston grabbed both of his knees in a white-knuckled grip.
“I didn’t do it on purpose. They called Brandon, booked a trip from Anchorage to here like any other client would.
The caveat was that they were coming here to surprise you, and since we didn’t know any of this until now, we didn’t see a problem with it.
It did sound suspect, yeah, but Brandon took their money and ordered us not to say anything to you.
” His voice trembled with frustration, no doubt aimed at himself.
“Well, they got what they wanted. I was surprised all right, but thankfully without them knowing. If I would’ve panicked like that in front of them…
.” I trailed off, not even wanting to think about that level of embarrassment.
Pressing a loose fist to my sternum, I rubbed to release the pressure.
“It has to be more than just showing up together. What do they want? Why are they really here to see me?”
“No clue,” Langston grumbled, looking anywhere other than at me.
“Are you serious?” I glanced between the two men. “No one asked when they booked? And you didn’t interrogate them on the ride from Anchorage like you do to everyone, Langston?”
He just pursed his lips in response. Guess that’s a no.
West smirked, those damn dimples popping, as he shook his head. “All the information they gave Brandon fit on a Post-it note—not much.”
“Great,” I whined in frustration. “Guess that means I’ll just have to wait for them to blindside me face-to-face to find out why they’re here. That sounds fun.”
“Well, maybe not. They needed dinner options and asked where the locals go. I suggested Dave’s,” Langston said.
“We go tonight, stage the meeting so you know it’s happening—no being blindsided—and you can find out what they want.
We get the information and then bounce. I tell them to leave Anchor Bay first thing in the morning or I’ll do it for them, with them in body bags. ”
I blinked at him, trying to figure out if he was kidding.
And if I was good if he wasn’t.
West sat up straight, excitement practically vibrating off him. “It could be a date. The three of us. Kind of like a dinner theater type of thing, but real life.”
I shook my head, biting back a smile, but it slipped into a flat line when the word date registered. “West, did you not hear everything I explained about myself? Broken, not exciting, hates sex, trusting no one ever, ever again?”
West shrugged like my words went in one ear and out the other. “I heard you, but I like a challenge. I’ll make you see that bullshit for what it is, sweet cheeks.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I murmured under my breath.
“Nope. That’s it.” With a gentle grasp around my shoulders, Langston hauled me out of the chair, spun me around to face it, and pressed between my shoulder blades, bending me over.
My slick palms slapped the armrests, fingers digging into the soft leather to keep me from face-planting into the seat he’d just stolen from me.
Before I could get a word out about his manhandling, a fiery sting bloomed from my right ass cheek as the spanking sound filled the room. “We will not allow that horseshit here. What you say about yourself is what you believe, and we’re correcting that right the fuck now. Do you understand?”
Jaw slack, maybe a little drool sliding out of the corner of my mouth, I gaped over my shoulder at Langston. “You spanked me,” I accused.
He offered a clipped nod in response. “That’s what happens when you talk badly about yourself.”
“You spanked me,” I repeated like an idiot, because apparently, spanking not only turned me on in ways I didn’t want to examine at the moment but knocked my thoughts loose too. “You really did it.”
“I always follow through, Juno. Remember that. Especially when it’s mutually beneficial.” Face pinched in discomfort, he reached down and adjusted the very large bulge behind his jeans. “Fuck, I can’t wait to do that to your bare skin, see how pink I can make it.”
“Fuck,” West and I rasped at the same time. We exchanged heated looks that turned into wide smiles.
“So, what will it be, Juno? Dinner at Dave’s tonight, hoping those two fuckers show up, or avoid them until they come to find you?”
I blew out a controlled breath, debating West’s question.
The last thing I wanted to do, ever, was see either of them, much less together.
My stomach knotted just thinking about having to confront them, but it would be better to get it over with on my terms instead of giving my anxiety time to create horrible, embarrassing scenarios while waiting for them to find me.
“We can go tonight, but I have one rule.” I stood and turned, crossing my arms and flicking a no-nonsense stare between them.
“We go as friends, not a date. I don’t want the pressure, and I really don’t think you two are grasping what I’m saying.
I’m not who you think I am, and I honestly don’t want to end up even more damaged when you do. ”
“That’s borderline talking badly about yourself,” Langston said with a single dark brow raised.
Rolling my eyes, I stuck out my tongue.
“Careful, shortcake. My restraint only goes so far before I snap and show you exactly where I want that tongue on me.” His gaze flicked to West. “Or him while mine is inside your drenched cunt.”
“Um, friends don’t say that to friends,” I whispered, not sure what else to say.
“No, they say it to their girl.”
Before I could correct him, Langston turned, stomping to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.
Arms slack at my sides, lips parted, I stared at the closed door, wondering why I felt the need to correct him for labeling me as “their girl” at all.
Despite my best efforts at warning them away, they were persistent and, from what I could tell, genuine in their interest of me—and not just for sex.
Each heated glance, every smile and laugh they pulled from me was like stripping away layers of protective film I’d carefully placed over my heart.
“We’ll win you over, Juno.” West stepped close, his hands gently gripping my waist in a way that was hot and protective at the same time. “Now, if we’re doing the staged encounter bit, you might want to go shower.”
My lips pulled down in a frown. “But you said I looked fine earlier.”
A shy smile grew, making only one of his dimples pop. “You look beautiful as always, but remember the smell you mentioned? It’s less about appearance and more about the unique aroma wafting off you that needs to be addressed.”
Oh, right. I’d forgotten about that with the whole Langston and West sandwich.
But even as my cheeks heated, the normal embarrassment felt different somehow, not as gut-wrenching.
It was West’s tone, more joking than accusing or disgusted, not making me feel like I didn’t live up to some high standard like Eric would.
It hit me what I didn’t feel.
Shame.
I wasn’t thrilled about the animal-urine stench wafting off me, but there wasn’t that added icky feeling of shame tagging along with it. Odd. Almost as if I was okay that I wasn’t perfect because West didn’t expect me to be.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” He tapped between my brows.
“That maybe, with someone like you, like Langston, I don’t have to hold myself to a crazy-high standard that I could never meet. That when I make a mistake or smell like garbage, it’s not the end of the world.”
Now it was his turn for a deep line to form between his dark brows.
“I’m understanding just how deep the emotional abuse went with that dipshit.
We’ll expose the lies he made you believe about relationships and a true partnership little by little.
That’s for us to figure out together—us three—not just on you to undo alone.
You will need to be upfront and honest with us as we work through it together, though. ”
“As friends,” I added slowly. “That’s all I’ll ever be good for, West. I know myself, and I know what I can offer. I don’t want to disappoint you and Langston—”
The stomping of boots on the hardwood floor cut me off.
“Run,” West whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “Save your ass. Literally, Juno.”
With a squeak of surprise mixed with excited thrill, I turned on my heels and bolted for the front door. Grappling with the handle, I yanked the heavy wood door open and dashed down the front porch steps, not stopping until I was standing in the middle of the main road.
Chest heaving with every heavy breath, a wide smile spread at finding Langston in the middle of the doorway, tatted arms crossed over his chest, looking sexy as hell and making me question running from him.
“Your time will come, shortcake. You can’t hide from my palm forever.” He started to turn but paused. “We’ll come by around seven for our date.” The last word was emphasized with a smirk.
Before I could correct the misused term for tonight’s meeting, Langston retreated into the cabin and slammed the door shut.
Shaking my head at his stubborn ass, I started walking home, mind racing with a thousand thoughts a second.
Why was I hell-bent on pushing them away?
I warned them I wasn’t what anyone wanted in a girlfriend, so why keep forcing the issue?
Granted, I could just let everything play out between us until they truly understood how broken I was and they dropped me like a bad habit.
I was absolutely certain that would happen at some point.
There was a seed of worry that kept me from going all in and enjoying the attention from the two men—that I wouldn’t survive them leaving, solidifying the fact that I’d never be enough for someone to truly love.