Chapter 19 #2
Their jeans removed and added to the growing pile of clothes, both men were clad only in tight boxer briefs.
I wiped at my lips to remove any drool. Holy hell, they were mouthwateringly sexy.
West with his full back tattoo and others along both ribs, plus his lean and muscular frame, was so picture-perfect that I wondered if he’d ever considered modeling.
Then there was Langston, with his full sleeves that bled onto his defined pecs, bad attitude, and constant scowl.
He looked deadly, in the hottest way possible.
Langston paused on one side of the bed, West on the other. With a lot of shifting and wiggling, I scooted under the thick quilts, allowing them to slide into the sheets beside me.
Held breath burning in my lungs, I waited for the touching to begin, for one of them to grab my boob or stick their hand down my pants.
The weight of sexual expectations felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Not that I didn’t want to per se—everything that happened on the couch earlier was great—but the expectancy of sex when in bed together was so drilled into me that I dreaded going to bed, knowing I would have to do that before I could sleep.
I stayed stiff, completely still, like I always would with Eric, hoping I’d get a pass on the obligation. Which was so fucking dumb because I actually wanted the two men beside me, but my head was a complicated, messed-up mess.
“Why are you so tense right now?” Langston asked, turning on his side to face me. I felt the heat of his stare on my cheek. When I didn’t respond, he sighed. “Juno, talk to us. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on in that mind of yours.”
Swiping my tongue over my lips, I tried to swallow to ease my suddenly dry throat. “I told y’all I was broken,” I whispered. “And you didn’t believe me.”
“If anyone is broken in this bed, it’s me, Juno, so please don’t say that again,” West rasped. “Talk to us.”
My hair scraped against the pillow when I turned to face him. “How would you be broken? You’re perfect. I was just thinking that when you were getting undressed. Sexy, good with your hands, kind—you’re all the things, West.”
His sad smile broke my heart a little. “My past is dark and full of monsters who took advantage of any situation they could, sweet cheeks. But we’re not focusing on my triggers right now,” he said with a deprecating chuckle. “What’s going on in that brilliant mind of yours?”
The weight of my silence hung heavily in the dark room, the quiet only interrupted by the pitter-patter of tiny paws on the hardwood floor before a weight landed at the foot of the bed.
Padding across the quilt, GG moved up toward us, doing a few circles before finding a snug spot between me and Langston.
Pulling a hand free from beneath the covers, I stroked her soft head, debating how to answer them.
“There was always the expectation of sex,” I blurted. “With Eric—”
“I really don’t enjoy hearing another man’s name, especially his, when you’re in my bed.” Langston pouted, making me smile despite the heavy memories filling my thoughts.
“It was always the focus, the expectation or obligation, I guess. For example, when we went on vacation or went away for a weekend, he would talk about how he couldn’t wait to have sex at least three times a day.
It wasn’t about spending time away with me or being away from work so we could focus on each other, just sex.
It made it this heavy expectation that I dreaded.
Sex began to be something I resented because it was an obligation.
It was all he wanted from the relationship, not the intimacy or a partnership, just sex.
That was his need from me and the only thing he ever focused on as a measure of how our relationship was going.
It felt very transactional, like if he got what he wanted, then we had a good time; if he didn’t, then, well, I would hear about how cold I was, that he wasn’t getting what he needed, blah blah blah.
Listen, I get that men need sex. It’s part of how they feel connected—”
“That’s a fucked-up statement, Juno,” Langston interrupted.
“You’re making it sound like all we want is sex and not the relationship side of it.
Maybe that’s true with some men, but how empty is that if you don’t have the connection with your partner to go with it?
That’s like treating your partner, the person you say you love, like a fucking cum dumpster. ”
“Ew,” I laughed. “That’s a disgusting visual.”
“But an accurate one,” West added. “So, us crawling into bed with you triggered the thought that we expected sex because we’re in bed with you?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t you?” I asked.
“If you jumped on me naked, I wouldn’t say no.” Langston shifted on the bed, disturbing GG. A heavy arm dropped across my chest as he sealed himself to my side. “But I’m getting everything I need knowing you’re here and safe, and in my bed beside me. I feel like I won the damn lottery right now.”
“And the two people I care about the most have finally admitted they’re fucking obsessed with each other; they just show it in their own strange ways.
” I smacked West on the chest, making all three of us laugh.
“And you’re here beside me.” He shifted so he was pressed against my other side, drawing an arm around my waist just below Langston’s.
“And in my arms. But this means nothing if you’re not comfortable or not getting what you need, Juno.
Tell us, talk to us. Don’t just expect the worst because that’s how it was before. ”
This time, the silence in the large room was freeing.
“Okay.” I slid my arm back under the blankets. “So, you’re both okay just going to sleep right now?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I’m not feeling up for—”
“Careful, Juno,” Langston growled, his voice rumbling through the room. “Do not finish that sentence if you want to sit tomorrow.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m exhausted.”
“I’m almost asleep now. You’re like a weighted blanket. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this relaxed in the dark.”
I wanted to ask West what he meant by that, but his deep breathing told me he truly was asleep.
“Thank you,” Langston whispered, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.
“For what?”
“Giving him peace so he can do that. His demons torment him at night. I don’t think he’s ever had a full night’s sleep, ever. Maybe you’re the one to change that. Good night, Juno. Don’t worry about anything; I’ve got you both.”
Within a minute, his breaths turned soft and even, like West’s. GG padded up toward our heads and curled up next to Langston’s on his pillow. I smiled up at the ceiling like a crazy person.
For the first time in a long time, I inhaled deeply, the weight of having to handle my safety and their expectations lifted.
As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered if I’d ever felt so utterly safe before as I did in that moment in both their arms.
Vibrations against my ribs stirred me awake, my heart racing at the unfamiliar feeling.
Head slowly lifting off the pillow, I gazed down at my side and a breath caught in my throat.
GG lay curled against me, her fluffy tail laid over her nose so she looked more like a random puff ball than an actual cat.
Relaxing back with a slow, calming breath, I blinked a few times to clear my fuzzy vision. Sunlight poured through the blinds, but that didn’t tell me anything, considering we were at the time of the year when it was daylight most of the day.
Gentle breathing to my left had me sliding my attention from the ceiling to the man sprawled out beside me.
As West lay on his stomach with the sheet draped low on his hips, I nearly choked on my spit at how utterly gorgeous he looked.
Features relaxed, lips slightly parted, and with his arms up by his head, the defined lines of his back muscles were on full display.
Pulling my hand free of the covers, I ghosted my fingertips over the intricate design, careful not to touch and risk waking him. Langston’s admission from the night before fluttered to the front of my mind, making my heart clench.
What had the amazing, kind, and gentle man been through in his life that made him unable to sleep soundly?
I knew little about his background, nothing at all really.
My lips turned down in a frown. That needed to change.
They had pulled so much information and excavated all kinds of memories from me; it was only fair to do the same to them.
Plus, I was excited to learn more about them.
Know where they came from, what they loved about being here, where they saw themselves in the future.
I wanted it all.
But first, coffee.
With him on one side and GG on the other, I made the tough decision to disrupt the cat instead of the sexy sleeping man, one she did not appreciate based on the side-eye and sassy flick of her tail as she jumped down.
Careful not to shift the bed too much, I slid out from under the thick blankets, noting that the sheets on Langston’s side were cold, meaning he’d been up for a while.
I started for the door, goose bumps pebbling on my arms, only to pause outside Langston’s bathroom, remembering that last night, due to my utter exhaustion and slight kidnapping, I didn’t brush my teeth.
After taking care of that with a bit of toothpaste on my finger and using the restroom, I resumed my search for Captain Asshole, who wasn’t so much of an asshole anymore.
The smell of coffee wafted up my nose with a deep inhale, the scent alone taking a bit of the edge off my brain, knowing the goodness was close.
But before I could round the island to the full coffee carafe, movement outside the open back door had me redirecting to the small concrete stoop just on the other side of the threshold.
Shoulder against the doorframe, I smiled down at Langston.
His bare back shifted as he lifted the coffee mug to his lips, making the inked designs dance and move.
Without a word, he lifted his free hand and stretched behind him, reaching for me.
Placing my hand in his, I allowed him to guide me around him, pausing between his spread knees.
With a gentle tug, he urged me to sit on the step below him.
A chill from the concrete seeped through the borrowed sweatpants, making my shoulders shake with an unexpected shiver.
A strong inked arm wrapped around my shoulders and eased me back until my head rested against his chest. Tipping my head, I smiled up at Langston, who was already doing the same, green eyes locked on me.
“Good morning,” he said, voice deep and raspy. “Coffee?”
With an eager nod, I accepted the offered mug and took a sip. The moment the flavor hit my tongue, my eyes widened and I whirled around, gaping at Langston. It was exactly how I made mine; it tasted so similar I would’ve thought I made it.
His shoulders rose and fell. “I pay attention.”
I should give him a blow job or something for that, right? I mean, who the fuck paid that much attention to a woman they weren’t dating or planned to date?
“Full of surprises, aren’t you,” I murmured, taking another drink.
“Oh, shortcake, you do not know how many more I have for you.” He leaned in close and nipped at my earlobe. “All good, I promise.”
“Okay,” I whispered, because what else was there to say. Screaming “show me now” seemed desperate. I swallowed hard to keep those exact words to myself and took another sip of coffee, settling back against him to gaze out at the gorgeous mountain view.
“I love this view in the morning,” he stated. “I come out here to soak it up before the stress of the day starts. It makes it all bearable.”
“Protecting everyone here doesn’t fall just on your shoulders, you know that, right?”
The vibrations of his heart thumping in his chest reverberated against the back of my head.
“If only it were that easy. But once you’ve failed someone you love once, it’s hard to rationalize with that fear.”
“What fear?”
“Of failing someone again, of them not being able to recover from it like Mattie did. There are some things we just can’t come back from.
” My heart ached at the pain in his tone.
“Brandon called an all-Uplift community meeting in a few hours. That will give us time to go to your place and grab your things.”
I choked on a sip of the delicious liquid. Shifting on the cold concrete, I whirled around and pointed at Langston’s chest. His very hard chest. Very defined and sexy chest.
Fuck, stay on topic, Juno.
“What the what? I thought I heard you say we’d grab my things.” He nodded, looking pleased with himself. Which looked good on him because it was this cute smile that made him appear years younger. “Why?”
His brows pulled in tight. “Because it’s safer here. We discussed this last night.”
“No, we discussed you kidnapping me for my safety for one night. One night.”
He shook his head. “Nope, this is a permanent thing for the foreseeable future until it’s safe.”
“You cannot be serious right now,” I blurted, completely caught off guard by his fucking audacity. That I would move in with them because some sicko was out there hurting single women and had apparently come into our community and…. I froze.
His damn smirk told me he knew I had realized he was right.
Fucker.
Sexy fucker.
“I’ll just move in with Finley,” I said with a wince. That sounded terrible for so many reasons. I loved the girl, but she was not the cleanest person.
“Right,” Langston huffed. “Why would you do that when we can protect you better?”
“Because she’s scared.” I jumped a little at West’s voice, not having noticed him looming in the doorway. “And don’t tell me I’m wrong.”
I blew a raspberry and tossed up the hand not holding the coffee mug. “Fine, okay. It makes this”—I gestured between the three of us—“feel serious, and I just decided that I was okay with it all. Now moving in together—”
“I’m pretty serious about us now. Aren’t you, West,” Langston asked, not taking his green eyes off me.
“Yep,” he said, popping the p.
“Okay, both of you slow down. This is way too soon, plus you’ll get frustrated with me because—”
“Careful what you say next, Juno,” Langston growled, “or that meeting will feel even longer when you’re sitting there with a sore ass.”
I looked between the two men—the two ridiculously attractive men. Yes, this was moving fast, but there was that danger hanging over all our heads, so staying with them instead of alone was smart. It was a terrible idea but, at the same time, the most logical.
What was the worst that could happen?