2. Chapter 1
J ulia sipped her ginger ale and wished she was anywhere but there. The medical crowd went to that bar often when they were off shift, and she could feel them staring at her. They probably had a lot to say after the mess she’d made. Not that she’d ever mess up at the actual job.
They just didn’t like who she had fucked.
To be fair, she hadn’t liked the guy much, either. Or maybe that was her spitefulness talking since he was a fucking liar.
She tapped her phone to see if Phoebe was close when a message popped up.
‘Sorry, something came up. I’ll make it up to you.’
Her frustration at her friend made her flatten the straw between her fingers.
Phoebe had known Julia hadn’t wanted to come to this bar, but she insisted on it.
This was the last time she’d cave. Next time, they would go to The Last Shot Tavern like Julia wanted.
She liked to support her brother’s friends and family.
Besides, nobody hated her there.
She sighed, trying to unflatten the straw, but the side of it was sliced open. Folding it over, she took a sip from the glass itself, the bubbles from the carbonated drink sliding down her throat.
Julia had never been much of an alcohol drinker.
She didn’t like losing control like that.
Besides, alcohol messed with antidepressants, which she needed to function.
She’d told herself the last time she ditched them that it would be the last time.
If they helped her brain to work, then they were a good thing, despite what that pathetic voice inside of her tried to say.
If she hadn’t ditched them this last time, she never would have said yes to that doctor. Alcohol had never been her crutch, but casual sex sure as hell was. A quick fuck had turned into a convenient fling, which spiraled into disaster.
Nobody liked a woman who broke up a marriage. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t realized he was still married. Julia was the slutty other woman. She’d gotten the slap from his wife to prove it, right in the hospital where everyone could see.
She could own up to her own faults. Liking sex wasn’t the issue, but not asking any questions burned her twice. There were probably more one-night stands that could have bitten her in the ass, too, from the same problem.
She swiveled her barstool, propping her elbows up on the bar behind her.
The way she was feeling, it was time to risk another mistake.
She scanned the bar to see if anyone sparked an interest, not surprised to see one of the off duty medical workers pointing at her while their group laughed and smirked.
The hunched shoulders and floppy blond hair of someone among them gave her pause. He wasn’t one of the ones laughing, but he was achingly familiar.
Julia felt a spark of joy at seeing him. It had been years. Phoebe’s brother had gone off to college out of state and rarely came home, but there he was, part of the group of workers she’d been trying like hell to avoid for the past month.
You’d think her best friend would have told her that her brother was back in town.
Or hell, her new boss since she worked for their older brother.
Charles Holden offered her a job after the hospital fired her.
She was grateful, even though she was embarrassed by the pariah she’d become.
For someone who normally followed all the rules, the label of misconduct hurt.
It had also left her with very few options in the medical community, which was smaller than she’d realized.
One that Phoebe’s younger brother seemed to be part of, too.
Julia grabbed her glass and slid off the stool. Lips twisted on the other people at the table, but she ignored them to approach the boy who no longer looked much like one. The shoulders that had begun to fill out were even wider, and he had a shadow along his jaw.
“Jinx?”
Blue eyes flew up to hers, blinking. Then his polite smile shifted into a full-on grin. “Jules?” He pushed to his feet, nearly knocking his chair over, and they gave each other a quick hug.
It reminded her of how she’d held him the last time they’d seen each other, when he was crying in the front seat of Phoebe’s car, and Julia’s stomach swirled before she released him.
“It’s been a while.” Her eyes took in the shifting gazes of those at the table. “Are you working at the hospital here now? I hadn’t heard that.”
Jinx’s hand moved through his hair, making it more disheveled, though the curls bounced right back. “Yeah, it just happened. I’m still settling in.”
“Look at you. A college graduate.” Julia bumped his shoulder. “I heard you became a personal trainer?”
“Oh, you’ve been keeping up?” He flushed, crossing his arms and rocking on his heels. “Yeah, I’m working with some of Charles’s patients once they’re ready for PT. I enjoy it.” He rolled his eyes. “Might as well put all my healing experience to good use.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You were obviously jinxed from birth.” She grinned at him. “I bet you’re good at it. I’m proud of you, Jinx.”
His cheeks shifted to a deeper red.
At the table, one woman mouthed the nickname to the person next to her and laughed.
“Er, you probably don’t go by that anymore.” She hated that thought. He’d always been Jinx to her, but she never wanted to embarrass him, so she took a breath and pushed on. “Is it Jesse now?”
Jinx shook his head, his smile as gentle as ever. “I don’t mind you calling me that. It makes me feel like I’m really home.”
“Oh. Good.” The tightness in her chest eased. “It would have been hard to switch, but I would have done it if that’s what you wanted.”
“You’ve always been like that, respectful about people’s boundaries.” He missed the way the table grew quiet. “I’ve always liked that about you.”
“Yeah, respectful,” a person at the table muttered. “That’s exactly her.” Snickers followed, and Jinx’s eyebrows drew together as he glanced at them.
Julia bit back her retort, regretting coming over. She shouldn’t fuck up his chances to network. “Well, I just wanted to welcome you home. I’ll let you get back to it.” She waved her hand and pushed through the crowd to find a quiet corner.
She’d give it a little longer so it didn’t look like their snickering drove her away. Her interest in picking up someone waned, though she was tempted to do it out of spite. They already thought she was a slut. She might as well prove it.
Her gaze kept shifting to Jinx, though. He’d become an adult while she wasn’t looking.
He was smiling like his old self. A part of her had held on to that last time she’d seen him, the way he’d trembled and cried. She didn’t see any of that in him now. No, his bright-blue eyes popped as he laughed with the joy that had always oozed out of him.
Julia relaxed against the wall, sipping her soda and feeling peaceful just watching him. She’d missed him, though it wasn’t until that moment that she was able to admit it to herself.
Even though she’d been best friends with Phoebe and not Jinx, he’d always been around.
That had already begun to change when she and Phoebe started college, but him leaving town had been a shock.
He’d only ever talked about following them to the local state college.
Julia wasn’t sure when his plans changed and why none of them told her.
She’d considered herself a part of their family for years, and them a part of hers.
They’d lived on the same block. She’d been over there as often as at her own house while her mother was in the hospital.
Her mother beat the illness, thank God, but it had changed something inside Julia, as it had for all of her siblings.
That something had only felt whole with the Holdens.
Lately, Phoebe had grown distant, despite how often they tried to get together. She was married, with kids and a lifestyle that Julia didn’t quite fit in with. Sometimes it was lonely.
Just like suddenly losing Jinx had been lonely. She’d worried she’d fucked things up that night of the party. She was terrible at taking care of anyone, and Jinx must have realized it back then. He’d seemed normal when they’d talked to each other just now. Had he been faking it?
She watched one of the nurses hit on him.
She didn’t blame the woman. Jinx got the attention he deserved.
His curly blond hair, shorter frame, and slimmer body weren’t the traditional masculine good looks, but his smile and eyes more than made up for it, and he had really nice shoulders.
Besides, he was someone it just felt good to be around. That didn’t seem to have changed.
Neither had his shyness. She watched him choke on a sip of his drink and blush at whatever the nurse whispered in his ear. His Adam’s apple bounced when he swallowed. When had it become that prominent? She liked necks the most, especially if they were sensitive when she nibbled on them.
Which was a thought that didn’t belong at all with Jinx.
She turned toward the nearby table, where a guy was eyeing her with interest. The smile she threw him was automatic, but her heart wasn’t in it.
Tonight was a bust all around. She should leave.
She’d been watching Jinx way too long. Soon it’d turn creepy.
“Hey,” Jinx said by her elbow.
She turned, surprised to find him so close, but then caught the frown of the girl who had been flirting with him. “Using me as cover again?”
He laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Did I really used to do that?”
“Not much,” she said, wanting to put him at ease. “You liked to face things head-on most of the time.” The nurse’s frown turned into a scowl, and Julia’s stomach twisted. “I should warn you, though, hanging around me won’t earn you any friends. I’m not well liked at the hospital.”
His brows drew together, and he stepped closer instead of away like he should. “Why? You’re great, Jules. What’s their problem?” He started to turn a frown on the table, and she grabbed his arm.
“No, don’t align yourself with me. It’s okay, really.” She patted his shoulder before releasing him. “It’s not their fault. It’s mine. I’ll have to build their respect back. It’s only right.”
His lips tilted. “And Julia Caldwell always tries to do what’s right.”
She shook her head. “Tries is the right word. I fucked up this time and have to own it.” She nodded toward the table. “It’s good to make friends at work. Don’t mess things up on my account.”
“I’ll always choose you, Jules. We’re friends, aren’t we? More than, with how often our families got together.” His eyes searched hers. “Or has too much time passed?”
“It hasn’t been too long. I missed you.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Is that corny to say?”
“I missed you, too.” His smile bloomed, taking over his face, looking familiar and yet changed. “We should catch up. What if—”
“Jesse!” a woman from the table whined, grabbing his arm. “Someone said you’re the DD tonight.”
Jinx’s arm tensed under her hold, and he shifted. “Oh, yeah. I don’t drink anyway, so I can drive anyone home who needs it.”
Julia eyed the swaying girl with her dazed eyes. “She definitely shouldn’t drive.”
“Yeah, I want you to take me home.” The woman leaned into him, practically kissing his ear. “I want you to take me to bed, too. We could do all sorts of things.”
Jinx didn’t flush this time. His skin grew pale, and there was a glassy look in his eyes that twisted Julia’s stomach.
“Oh, well, no, it wouldn’t be like that,” Jinx stuttered, trying to pull away but not getting very far when the woman’s grip tightened. “I’d just be dropping you off. That’s all.”
The woman pressed her breasts against the arm she held captive. “What if I ask really nicely?” Her lips tapped his ear again, her whisper still much too loud. “I can make you feel so good.”
“I’ll take you home,” Julia cut in.
The woman blinked at her.
Julia grabbed her arm, dragging it away from Jinx and using it to turn her toward the door. “I know where you live. I dropped off your drunk ass a couple of months ago.”
The woman pouted, swaying on her feet. “I don’t want to go with you.”
Julia prodded her forward. “Too bad. You can’t drive.” She kept the woman from falling when she stumbled. “And I can tell you all about how you can’t actually consent to anything while you’re intoxicated.”
“Thanks, Jules,” Jinx murmured behind her.
Julia grinned back at him, glad to see the color returning to his face. “I never mind saving you. My number hasn’t changed if you want to catch up more.” She sent him a little wave.
She’d had the same cell phone number since she first got a phone as a teenager, and Jinx had always had it. He hadn’t called once in the four years he was away. She pushed that thought down as she caught the drunk woman again and herded her to the door.