Chapter Two
Charlie
Interactions with my dad were few and far between.
He’d pop in for a few days, filling the house with more crap he’d collected.
then he’d turn around and leave again. I know he felt like shit for missing Granny’s funeral and not being there for her but that only seemed to push him further away.
With each visit he appeared more and more disheveled.
His mannerisms were erratic, and his grip on reality was non-existent.
Most of what he said was nonsense and he carried on conversations with himself like someone else was standing there with him.
Was he seeing ghosts? Honestly, I feared his grip on reality may require medical attention.
Late one fall evening in October, three years after we’d graduated, Alex and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when someone knocked on the door. When I opened it there were two gentlemen in suits standing there.
“Can I help you?” Maybe I should’ve let Alex answer it. If this was a home invasion, these guys would shove right past me.
“Charles DuBois?” one of the men asked.
“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?”
Alex came and stood beside me, sliding a protective arm around my shoulder.
“I’m Detective Rice and this is Detective Marlow.” He gestured to the man on his right, and both showed us their official police badges. “Is Henry DuBois your father?”
Oh fuck. “Yes, is he in some sort of trouble?”
The officer glanced over at the neighboring houses. “May we come in? We’d prefer to have this conversation privately.”
Alex moved me aside so they could enter. Once the door was closed, Detective Rice spoke. “Charles—”
“Please, call me Charlie. I’m only Charles when I’m in trouble,” I said, trying to lighten the tension. “This is my partner, Alex. Please, have a seat.” I gestured toward the couch, but they stayed where they were, so we remained standing in the foyer.
“I’m afraid we have bad news regarding your father,” Detective Rice said.
Alex’s hand tightened around my waist, grounding me as my legs wobbled.
“Yes?” I shuddered, gripping Alex’s shirt like a lifeline.
“Your father’s body was discovered in Waterfront Park last night. Do you have any idea what he was doing there?” he asked.
“No,” I shook my head. “We haven’t seen him in months. I didn’t even know he was back in town.”
“I’m sorry, but your father has passed away.”
I trembled and Alex held me tighter. “He’s dead? How did he die? I thought he was out of town on a business trip. What happened?” My knees gave way and Alex scooped me up and laid me on the couch.
“There are no signs of foul play. From every angle it appears he laid on a park bench and passed away in his sleep.” Just as Granny had.
Were they the lucky ones to have passed so peacefully?
Should there be relief in knowing that? Right now, I felt everything but relief.
“I’m sorry to have delivered such bad new, but as his only surviving relative we need to ask you to come to the coroner’s office and positively identify the body,” Detective Marlow stated.
I nodded, shell-shocked, my thoughts were all over the place and words weren’t coming.
Alex gathered the information from the detectives and told them we’d be there first thing in the morning before they uttered another apology and left.
Alex sat beside me and took me into his arms, holding me as I wept.
Mourning the father I never knew was lost. Could I have prevented this if I stopped him from leaving the last time?
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Alex muttered, kissing the top of my head.
“I never thought to look for him. He was always gone, so I figured he was on another business trip. Fuck, I’m not even sure I really knew what he did for a living.
All I remember is him coming home with all this shit.
” I gestured around to the packed shelving that lined the walls.
“I would curse under my breath every time my grandmother asked me to dust them.”
We sat in silence, curled into each another for a while. “How about a nice soak in the tub?” Alex asked.
“Thank you, that sounds wonderful.” While he got it ready I went up to our room fully intending to undress but made the mistake of laying down. He came in a few minutes later and found me sprawled across our bed. My sweet, nurturing partner undressed me and helped me into the tub.
“Aren’t you going to join me?” I asked when he didn’t undress.
“This is for you, to help you relax.” He kissed me then turned to walk away.
I grabbed his pant leg and stopped. “I relax best when I’m in your arms. Please, get in. I need you.”
Alex nodded, undressed, then slid in behind me.
The warm water felt so good but what made it even better was having Alex hold me.
I can’t believe my father was gone. This is so surreal.
My last living blood relative. What in the world was he doing in the park?
I had so many questions and they’d likely all go unanswered.
Alex soaped the bath sponge and delicately wiped it across my chest and down my arms. I sighed and sunk back against him, enjoying being taken care of.
Alex always knew what I needed even when I didn’t know what that was.
He left me to my thoughts as he bathed me, the only sound the sloshing of the water as he moved around, massaging the tension from my shoulders.
When exhaustion overcame me and the yawns increased, it was time to get out. He dried and put me to bed then took care of himself. I was nearly asleep when he came to bed and wrapped his arms around me. My safe space.
As tired as I was, sleep didn’t come. I tossed and turned all night. By the time the sun rose, I was out of energy and dreaded what today held for us.
Every time I emitted even the slightest of whimpers, Alex was right by my side, holding me tight. He was my world, my life, my knight in shining armor, and had been since we met. I knew I was safe when I was with him, and wherever he was would always be home to me.
Driving in that morning to the Coroner’s office, he held my hand as he drove. After parking, he turned off the car and gave me a few moments to collect myself. Now matter what I thought, there was no way this wasn’t gonna be the hardest thing I’d ever done.
“Are you ready, my love?” he asked, his sympathetic gaze fixed on mine.
Shrugging, I replied, “About as ready as one can be for this.”
He nodded in understanding and came around to open the door for me. Always the gentleman, right by my side grounding me, holding my hand as we entered the sterile building.
“Can I help you?” the grandmotherly lady manning the front desk asked.
“I’m Charles DuBois, I’m here to ID my father Henry DuBois’s body.”
Alex squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.
“Please, gentlemen, sign in on this sheet and I’ll need to see your ID.” She pointed to the paper and pen on the counter before walking away, reappearing moments later in a nearby doorway. She verified my license then said, “Please, follow me.”
We walked through a series of desolate corridors, the chemical mixture in the air intensified the nausea I was already fighting. When we reached a double door entry at the end of the hall she held one side open for us. I paused for a moment and took a deep breath to calm my nerves first.
“Nathan,” she addressed the gentleman seated at the desk across the room, “this is Charles DuBois. He’s here to ID body six-two-seven.”
Nathan nodded and disappeared behind another door. Ten minutes later, he reappeared with a linen-covered gurney that clearly held a body beneath its stark white sheet.
I gasped, and Alex was right there. His arms around my waist, grounding me. He whispered, “Are you sure you’re ready for this, my love?”
“No, and I never will be, but we have no choice.”
Nathan watched us, waiting for us to give him the go-ahead.
When I nodded, he drew the sheet back, uncovering the familiar face below.
Alex and I gasped, there was no mistaking it, this was my father.
He looked so tired, much older than his short fifty-two years of life his body should have shown.
Long gone was the man who’d play with me for countless hours, my mother watching on.
The love my parents shared was fierce and it broke my father when she was gone.
I buried my face in Alex’s chest, his shirt muffled the uncontrollable sobs.
He let Nathan know that was indeed my father.
Words weren’t coming, I had no idea what to say, let alone think.
He was far too young to have passed away and as far as I knew, was in good health, though the man I saw today hadn’t been for some time.
The receptionist returned and led us back to the lobby and handed me a box of tissues.
Alex ushered me to sit in one of the lobby chairs while he gathered the paperwork from the receptionist. I went through the motions, adding my signature where it called for it but read none of the papers.
I could’ve been signing the house away and right now I couldn’t care less.
My father was dead, the image of his lifeless body on that table will forever haunt me.
She handed the bag of my father’s belongings and a large manilla envelope to Alex and extended her condolences.
As soon as we got to the truck, the weight of it all hit me. My legs gave out and before my body hit the pavement, Alex caught me. He sat me in the passenger seat, secured the seat belt and kissed my forehead.
“You okay?” He asked. I saw the worry in his eyes and hated I’d put it there.
“No, but I will be,” I said, with far more certainty than I felt.
With a nod, he closed the door and went around to get in. He held my hand as we drove, my sobs the only sound in the cab. Alex didn’t turn on the radio to drown me out, nor did he complain. He offered silent comfort, exactly what the moment called for.