41
JULIANNA
I refresh the page for what seems like the hundredth time since I took my test this morning. When a dash still takes place where my grade should be, I push off from my bed, with my laptop in my hand, and stroll over to the living room.
I shouldn’t be nervous, but I can’t help the anxiety that spikes, the cold chills, and the dread that settles in my stomach every time I think, what if I failed ?
My grade, all thanks to Landon, has steadily risen and is currently sitting right in the middle of a B. I know to most that’s good because it’s passing, but that won’t be good enough for Dad. Not only because he doesn’t believe in B’s, but because I’ve told him my grade is an A.
I know it’s my fault for lying to him. I should’ve been honest from the get-go, but I know Mom will tell him to pull me from school. She’ll tell him that I’m wasting their money and that I’m being ungrateful for all the opportunities I’m letting go.
“You won’t be pretty forever,” Mom said yesterday during our Sunday call after she saw a photo posted by the sorority on Instagram. She followed that up by saying that I needed Botox on my face again, because the lines are “noticeable and unattractive.”
That wasn’t even one fourth of what she said, but just thinking about it all makes my head pound.
“Anything?” Polly asks from the kitchen as I slump down on the couch next to Gabby and set my laptop onto my lap.
“No.”
Gabby graces me with a friendly smile. “I’m confident you passed.”
If only I could feel as positive as she always looks. “We’ll see…”
“Seriously, don’t sweat it. After all, it’s Landon who’s been tutoring you. I have a feeling you did well,” Polly says before she takes a bite of one of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch rice krispies I made for him.
It’s extra as hell, because I don’t owe him anything but sex, but we haven’t had the chance to meet up since last week. He hasn’t said anything about it, not that he has said much to begin with. He’s been a little distant and quiet on his end.
I can’t help but wonder if he regrets what he shared with me, or if maybe he’s tired of being around me. He says he doesn’t hate me. He and I share things with each other, but people do that all the time and that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Sienna and I are examples of that. We were good friends, or so I thought, before she decided she didn’t want me in her life.
Then again, the season just started and he has a lot on his plate.
“Speaking of Landon”—a sly smile stretches on Polly’s face—“what’s going on between the two of you?”
We never did talk about what we would say if anyone asked.
“Nothing.”
“That’s bullshit. There’s something going on,” Polly deadpans, pointing her sticky index finger at me.
“I—”
“Polly, leave her alone,” Gabby interjects, shaking her head at her.
“Oh, don’t give me that. Don’t act like you’re not dying to know. I mean, look at the jar.” She points in the direction of our money jar. “It’s been the same for a few weeks now. He gave her his hoodie and you know how he is about sharing clothes.” Her gaze slides down to the hoodie I’m wearing. “And she made him these.” She holds the sweet treat in the air. “You know how obsessed Landon is with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I mean, he has boxes of them at his house. There is no way nothing is going on.”
I hate how my cheeks burn. “It’s nothing. We’re just…getting along.”
“I’m sure you two are getting along . Don’t act like we didn’t see those hickeys on your neck.” Polly deadpans, pointing her sticky index finger at me. “And don’t deny they didn’t come from him because I know they did. Tutoring does wonders, doesn’t it? Look at Cara and Jayden.”
I did the best I could to cover them up but they were so dark and big. Damn it, Landon.
“There’s nothing there either. Cara said so.” Gabby chides but even then she doesn’t sound like she believes what she says. But then gasps because my lips betray me and I smile without trying.
“So, something is going on?” She questions.
Now my face betrays me, because heat spreads across it when I look at her as I open my laptop. “It’s—we’re…” I click refresh as something purple on her neck catches in my periphery, but before I can inspect it, I do a double take on the screen as my grade finally appears.
I gape and hit refresh again because this can’t be real.
“What? Did you finally get it?”
“What is it?”
94/100
“Oh my God, that’s the highest grade I’ve gotten all semester,” I whisper, my brain slowly but finally registering what I’m seeing. “I passed.”
“What?”
“I passed!” I shove the laptop on her lap and squeal excitedly into my hands, because my passing grade brought up my average for the class.
Polly hovers over Gabby’s shoulders as they look at it and then they’re squealing, congratulating me, and smiling just as big as I am.
“This is big! We have to celebrate. We need to?—”
“Can we tomorrow? I need to see Lan—actually, never mind. I don’t even know if he’s done with practice. I should probably?—”
“No, he’s done. Jagger texted me thirty minutes ago. You should go see him.” Gabby encourages me all too enthusiastically, shutting my laptop and handing it back to me.
“Yes, go. He deserves to know,” Polly eagerly adds.
“Okay, yeah.” I almost run out the door, but I then stop and look at my outfit. This is definitely not what I want him to see me in. “I need to change.”
I’m buzzing with energy as I change, grab the treats, and head out the front door.
“Juls, hey—oh, what do we have here?” Jayden’s eyes sparkle at the Tupperware in my hand. “Are those Cinnamon Toast Crunch rice krispies?”
“Jay, it’s freezing as shit outside. Let her in.” Malik grabs him by the neck of his shirt and hauls him back, widening the door to let me in.
“Yes, they are and thanks.” I step inside and shut the door behind me. “I made them for Lan?—”
Jayden groans and his shoulders deflate. “He’s not going to share those. I assume you know how obsessed he is with that cereal.” He opens the pantry door, waving his hand across the top shelf where six boxes of identical cereal sit.
“Yeah, but he shared it with me. I’m sure?—”
“Holy shit! Jagger, Saint, get your asses over here.” Jayden stares at me like I’ve grown two heads and when he repeats to the guys what I just said, they look at me the same.
“So, something is going on, huh?” Jagger eyes me suspiciously. “He never shares his cereal with anyone. Wait, that was you leaving his room the other morning?”
“You two are practically married now.” Saint snorts, eyes shining with mirth. “This is big. I’m going to text TJ.”
He pulls his phone out from his sweats while Jayden whispers if he can have a treat and Jagger stares at me inquisitively.
“Oh, fuck out here. Leave her alone. Landon’s upstairs.” Malik places a hand on my shoulder—well, it more like hovers—and ushers me to the stairs.
“There’s nothing going on. We’re just getting along now.”
His smile screams bullshit , but he doesn’t call me out. “I don’t think he’ll mind if you wait in his room.”
Then he’s off, leaving me at the bottom of the stairs. I’m rethinking my decision of coming here because what if he wants to rest? What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he really is tired of being around me?
A message would have sufficed, but I wanted to be extra as hell and come and bring him these. And I wanted to share my excitement. I couldn’t do that through a text. I also need to thank him, because without him, I would’ve failed.
That solidifies my decision and I go up to his door and knock.
It doesn’t take but a second before I hear movement from the other side and the door opens.
“I pas—” The words shrivel up and die. My heart painfully clenches and my stomach bottoms out hard and fast. I almost feel sick.
I swallow dryly as I chant in my head that he’s not my boyfriend while staring at a pretty brunette who’s wearing his shirt and sweats.
“Hey.” Her shocked expression lasts but a second before she’s smiling at me. “Landon’s in the shower. He should be out soon.”
I’m momentarily stunned until I finally break out of the trance. “I got the wrong room.” I spin on my heel and bolt down the stairs, forcing the hurt and anger away.
Someone asks something, I’m not sure who, nor do I care to find out what they said because I’m speeding out of the house and into my Rover, dropping the Tupperware on the passenger seat.
My heart is dangerously racing, my head is spinning, and my fingers are shaking. I know I’m being dramatic because we’re nothing. The reminder of his absence and silence these past few days are telling.
“Fuck!” I groan when the belt locks in place as I try to pull it over my chest and when I do it again, it locks. “Damn it,” I grunt, letting it go, and faintly hear the metal smack against the seat before I turn on the engine.
My door opens before I drive off and Landon stands next to me in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
It pisses me off even more because he looks hotter than ever. Water drips from his very wet hair, the droplets falling onto his broad shoulders and hard chest. The drops continue to descend, dipping and running between every curve and ridge of his sculpted and defined stomach. Some cling to the small strip of hair below his belly button and then to the towel around him.
“You better move before I run you over.” I try to shut the door, but he holds it in place. “Let go.”
“No, why did you leave?”
My body turns ice cold, my eyes narrow into slits, and my fingers fidget on my lap, baiting me to slap the shit out of him.
“I’m really tempted to commit manslaughter, so I advise you to back up.”
“You mean, homicide. Manslaughter is killing someone without intending to do so.”
I swear every ounce of me is yearning to run him over. The anger I’m repressing is close to exploding.
“Now, lose the attitude and tell me why you’re mad.” He squints and slightly shudders, shoulders down to his stomach, breaking out in goosebumps. It’s obvious he’s freezing, but he stays put, holding my glare and the door.
“I’m over this and you. Fuck whoever you want and I’ll?—”
“Don’t finish that.” His eyes darken and his chest puffs out.
“I’m just doing what you’re doing.”
His brows cinch, but then the most infuriating smirk blossoms on his face. “Jealousy looks good on you.”
I scoff. “I’m not jealous.”
“Good. You have no reason to be jealous of my half-sister.”
“Half-sister?” Oh.
“Lucy’s wearing my clothes because she dropped coffee on herself. Because she’s a fucking klutz.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath. “But if you don’t believe me, Jagger and Malik will tell you that she’s my half-sister.”
“Why didn’t they tell me when I got there?”
“I don’t know, but we’re about to find out,” he replies, agitated, but his voice softens. “I’ve no intention or desire of touching anyone that isn’t you. I’m sorry you thought I did, but you’re going to have to get out or I’ll get you out myself.”
I think about it for a second, but when I see a shake on his shoulders as a chilly breeze passes us, I shut the engine off and grab the Tupperware.
“I made these for you.” I hand it to him as I climb out. “Just thought I’d thank you for taking a chance on me. I also wanted to tell you that I passed. I made a ninety-four.”
That stops him in his tracks and he looks down at me as we stand at the front door. He stares at me like he never doubted me, and if his expression isn’t enough to tell me, the smile on his face floors me. It even forces the dimples on his face to make a grand appearance.
“I did nothing. It was all you. I’m proud of you.”
My heart stutters and even though it’s bitterly cold outside, the glacial wind nipping at my skin, a searing heat spreads through my veins.
There’s nothing like getting a compliment from a girl, ordering an iced coffee that looks and tastes just right, an outfit I’ve envisioned looking stunning in person, or warm weather that feels like I’m at the beach.
There are so many things that make me feel good, but I don’t think anything will ever feel as good as hearing someone genuinely say that they’re proud of me. Although, good doesn’t describe how that particular word— proud —makes me feel.
I don’t hear it often—or ever—from the two people I want to hear it from the most, but coming from Landon and how sincere he sounds, it satiates something within me.
“Thanks.”
“Come on.” He ushers me inside.
The gentle expression on his face hardens when he steps into the living room where everyone is at, including the pretty brunette. She’s not wearing his clothes anymore, but an oversized white pullover with a faint brown stain on it and pink flared leggings.
“Holy shit!” She cackles, throwing her head back, and loudly claps her hands. “Oh my gosh! That was by far the funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Please, someone tell me they got that on camera?”
“Lucy, not now.” Landon shoots her a look, but she continues laughing, not fazed by his murderous glare. “No one thought to tell Julianna that Lucy was in my room?”
Jayden rubs the back of his neck. “In my defense, she brought those.” He eyes the container on Landon’s hand. “It just slipped my mind.”
Landon scrubs his palm over his beard. “Of fucking course. And the rest of you?”
“In our defense, it’s your fault you didn’t tell Julianna about Lucy,” Jagger counters with a shrug. “And she didn’t give us much of a chance to explain because she ran out of here before we got to tell her.”
“He’s right. It’s your fault.” Lucy looks at Landon. “But if anyone should be apologizing here, it’s you.” Then straight at me.
My brows furrow, taken aback. “Me?”
“Yes, you, for assuming I was sleeping with him.” Her face twists in disgust. “Not only is that revolting, but that’s incest.”
Now I feel immensely embarrassed. “So you’re his…sister?”
“Half-sister, same father, different mother, but it really doesn’t matter. I’m his sister nonetheless,” Lucy replies with a smile.
Now really looking at them, I can see the resemblance. She may not have a British accent or have the same hair color, but she’s tall. They have the same nose and unlike Landon’s dimples that only appear when he smiles, hers appear every time she talks. They also have the same eye color and shape.
I shift uncomfortably as everyone’s eyes settle on me. “I’m sorry for assuming, I?—”
“No worries.” She dismissively waves her hand. “Either way, you just made up. You should have seen the way he ran out to get you. Didn’t even turn off the water before he was off.”
“Right! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him run that fast.” Saint snickers, holding his phone up. “TJ’s going to hear about this.”
“I wish you’d stop telling TJ everything,” Landon grits. “And stop putting it in the group chat. I’m getting sick and tired of it. I swear I’ll block all of you if you don’t stop.”
Saint doesn’t take his threat seriously because he continues typing away on his phone.
“So I was thinking that’s a lot of sugar for you. Want to share?” Jayden asks, eyes burning on the Tupperware.
“No, I’m not going to share with any of you. This was made for me.”
“Oh, come on,” Jayden whines. “If you want to blame anyone, it’s Malik’s fault for not saying anything. He’s the one who told her to go upstairs.”
Malik gapes at the betrayal from his friend. “Jesus fuck, Jay, throw me under the bus, why don’t you? I swear I thought she knew.”
“It’s nobody’s fault. I’m sorry I assumed.” My cheeks burn when their eyes land on me again. “You should share with them. I can make you some more.”
Landon considers it, then rolls his eyes and takes the lid off. “Only one.”
No one, except for Lucy, takes one. For being so desperate, Jayden doesn’t even lift a finger.
“Here we go,” Landon mutters, and before I get to ask what that means, Jayden raises his arms as if he were going to hug me, but Landon stops him.
“Grab the square, not her.”
He raises his hands in surrender and directs his attention to me, and stares at me like I’ve unveiled some superpower, as do Saint and Malik. Jagger stares at me astonished.
“You have no idea the power that you hold.” Lucy snorts, earning another eye roll from Landon.
“She’s right, you need to come more often. Then he’d be willing to share?—”
“Grab the square before I change my mind,” he snaps at them.
The guys smirk as they all grab one quickly, except Jagger.
“Don’t take it personally. He just doesn’t like sweets,” Jayden explains through a mouthful as if he could read my thoughts. “Mmmmm, Jesus, Juls, these are like an orgasm in my mouth.”
I hold back my smile at the way they all nod in agreement.
“Anyway, I gotta get going. My Uber is here.” Lucy licks her fingers and smiles at me. “Julianna, it was so good to meet you. Sorry about the misunderstanding, but thanks for making my day. I’ve never seen Landon so…well—” She waves her hand over the length of his body. “I mean, look at him. No shoes. No clothes. No contacts or glasses. You got him standing here in nothing but a towel. This is great.”
She’s rushing out quick goodbyes before I get a word in, then shuts the door behind her.
“I guess I should?—”
“No, you’re coming with me,” Landon says. It’s not a question, nor a demand but a statement.
I should leave, but instead, I let him guide me up the stairs while his friends’ eyes follow us not so discreetly.