Chapter 48
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
A nother silence fell in the wake of my words, but this one thrummed with anticipation. Rowan’s hands clenched into fists as she inhaled a shaky breath.
“I want all of those things, too.” Her voice was breathless, but there was no hint of a lie. She glanced down at the vial again. “And I do want to grow our family one day...but I don’t think I’m ready to share you yet.”
Her eyes met mine, a rare bit of uncertainty churning in their depths. Thinking of all the ways I wanted to make good on the things I had just promised her, a low, relieved chuckle escaped me.
“I would prefer not to share you, either, just yet.” Not for a while. Not until I know your body better than I know my own, Lemmikki.
Her shoulders eased, and she popped the cork out of the small vial, downing the contents in a single swig. Her lips twisted at the taste, and I turned to pour her a small glass of wine.
For the aftertaste of the herbs, and for the nerves that still had her nails pressing half-moon indentations into the flesh of her palm. She eagerly took the glass, taking several sips while she stole sideways glances at me.
Minute by minute, her grip on the glass eased. Then she set it on the low table with half the contents still intact, standing a bit straighter in the gown that was half undone.
It made sense that she was nervous. This experience would be entirely new for her.
But my heart beat wildly in my chest as well, my eyes fixated on the bare tilt of her lips when she returned her gaze to me. And looking at her, I realized that in every way that matters, it would be new for me too.
I leaned down, pressing my mouth against her forehead. It should have been a mild kiss, an easy choice to break the tension that thrummed from her body to mine. But the energy between us hummed in satisfaction, fire spreading rapidly from the innocuous point of contact.
I traced the gentle slope of her cheek down to her lips and the lightning that seared from her mouth to mine was almost painful in its intensity. Need coursed through me, but I forced my hands to move slowly as I trailed a line from her wrists to her shoulders, stopping at the edges of her dress.
I paused our kiss long enough to give a silent request for permission. Her cheeks were flushed with desire, her chest rising and falling rapidly, but she still didn’t nod.
Before I could ask outright, she parted her lips to speak.
“I want you, Evander.” Her gaze lingered on my lips rather than meeting my eyes. “ All of you,” she clarified.
A satisfied smirk spread across my mouth before I could stop it, not that I would have tried. Still, it didn’t explain why she hesitated. I waited patiently for her to meet my gaze, ignoring the energy that still zapped from my fingers to the bare skin of her shoulders.
“But I...” She swallowed, taking a breath before she finally fixed her gaze on mine. “I don’t know...what I’m doing.”
I blinked in surprise, not because of her inexperience, which I had surmised from our conversation about the examination and her hesitation thereafter, but because I wasn’t sure I had ever heard her openly admit to…well, anything. She was far more prone to bluster. This vulnerability in her eyes was entirely new, the rare bit of insecurity wholly unexpected.
But perhaps that was only because of the endless hours I had spent imagining all of the ways I could drag my name from her lips. If she was concerned that she would fall short of those expectations, she was certainly the only one.
“Lemmikki. You could never be anything other than perfect to me,” I said softly, watching her lashes flutter in response. “We’ll take things slowly.”
Her lips parted, her breath ghosting across my lips as she nodded. Gone was the uncertainty in her gaze, something more resolute taking its place instead.
A look that would be my undoing.
I slid my fingers between the fabric of her gown and her smooth, perfect skin, easing it slowly to the floor. Delicate scraps of white lace highlighted the ample curves of her body, expertly framing the most intimate parts of her.
My mouth went dry as I took her in, my muscles going taut as my hunger, my need for her, only grew.
She let out a slow, hitching breath as she watched me watch her. Her pupils flared and skin pebbled in a way that made it difficult to remember the need to take things slowly.
Then her hands were on me, stripping my clothes until I was in nothing but my kilt. Too much time had passed since I’d touched her, tasted her, and I couldn’t resist the urge to pull her closer. I pressed my mouth to her neck, dragging my tongue against her pulse and relishing the taste of her.
My hands trailed a path down her back until I met the ample curve of her thighs, my fingers reflexively gripping her tighter, memorizing the lines and divots and muscles of her body.
Her knees became weak, and she let out a small gasp, pressing her chest further into me. The sound and movement combined made it impossible to wait any longer. I wanted her. Needed her. Needed to show her all of the ways I could ignite her body as surely as she ignited mine.
Picking her up, I wrapped her thighs around my waist and walked her slowly to the bed. Her curls fell around us like a curtain, each one dancing against my bare skin and sparking new sensations.
I gently lowered her to the mattress, watching it fan out around her like a fiery halo. My gaze raked over her appreciatively, lingering on the swell of her curves, her exposed belly button, and the soft skin just beneath it.
I followed the delicate lines of connecting lace up to her curves and the thin straps against her shoulders, wondering how satisfying it would be to tear them off with my teeth.
But I had made a promise to go slow, and I had no intention of going back on that now. I settled between her thighs, the heat of her body as she reacted to mine as I met her mouth once more.
Rowan’s teeth scraped along my lips, her tongue sweeping over mine more eagerly this time. A low growl escaped me and I deepened the kiss. Flames danced along my skin everywhere she touched, as she wrapped her arms around my back and pulled me closer. As she delicately traced the lines of my scars and the ridges of my muscles.
A tidal wave of desire washed over me far more potent than before, and I forced myself to move away from her mouth to explore the rest of her body. I committed every inch of her to memory, noting the way she responded to every kiss, every touch—reveling in every breathy noise she made in response to my ministrations.
I worked my way back up her body, taking her bottom lip between mine before pulling back to study her.
Her chest rose and fell, her skin pebbling in anticipation before I met her gaze in a silent question.
She swallowed, nodding once in answer. Her eyes were verdant flames, bright with the same need I felt to finally belong to one another fully.
Fire thrummed in my veins at the contact, with every movement and brush of her skin.
I hadn’t been wrong before. She could never be anything less than perfect to me, and this moment, her trust, the offering of her body and soul, meant everything.
For so long, we had been on opposite sides of battlelines of our own making, refusing to cede ground to the other. But now, she was trusting me to take care of her, and I had every intention to do just that.
I was awoken from a deep, dreamless sleep by Rowan’s gentle touch. It was one I’d already become accustomed to in the endless hours of the night. We hadn’t been interested in sleep, not until our bodies were spent and exhaustion pulled us under for a few brief moments of reprieve.
Without opening my eyes, I lifted her hand from where it was tracing the lines of my face. I brought her hand to my mouth, pressing a kiss to each of her fingertips.
The mattress shifted slightly, some of her weight coming to rest on my torso as she pressed kisses to my cheek, my forehead, my nose, and finally my lips. The heat of her mouth and the taste of her tongue doing more to wake me up than a cup of coffee ever could.
Every part of me wanted to continue where we had left off last night, even if my body was beginning to learn just how far the reaches of my stamina were.
“Der’mo, Lemmikki,” I said, still unable to open my eyes. “Aren’t you sore?”
She hesitated before answering. “No.”
Finally, I forced my eyes open to see the lie face I had known she would be making.
“Terrible liar,” I muttered.
She narrowed her eyes, making such a ridiculous irritable, pouty expression that I couldn’t help but laugh.
A huff of air escaped her before she arched an eyebrow in challenge.
“Well, I’m fine, but if you aren’t up to the task…” she trailed off, adding provocation to her list of ways to seduce me.
“I am always up to the task, Lemmikki,” I said, fighting back a grin. “Particularly whenever my wife is in the room.”
She preened, her eyes flashing with the same need she had every time I referred to her as my wife. And that reaction had me regretting my next words immediately, since I doubted we had much time, if any, for me to show her what that word meant to me as well.
“But I did request a bath be drawn for us,” I said before glancing at the clock. “Right about now.”
It was ten minutes past the hour, which meant the herbal bath I’d requested for Rowan yesterday should be ready by now.
Every muscle in my body protested at the effort it took to force myself from bed to check the adjoining bathing chamber. I nearly laughed when I considered how much better a night with my wife would be for conditioning than any other exercise I had done in the past.
And if I was stiff, I knew my lemmikki was as well.
As soon as I opened the door, steam and the floral scent of marigold, lavender, and chamomile filled the room. A giant bronze bathtub rested in the center of the room, small flower petals floating along the top of the steaming water.
Rowan grinned as I scooped her up off the mattress and carried her to her bath. She let out a small, contented sigh as I settled into the water behind her, her muscles more relaxed the longer we soaked.
I took my time, running my hands along the length of her body and working the oils from the bath into her skin. One night together, and I already knew I would never grow tired of this. Of her or the way her body felt against mine.
Somehow the more I touched her, the more I wanted her. She was an insatiable thirst I would never quite quench. An addiction I would never be able to fully satisfy. And I would be damned if anyone tried to take her from me.
Eventually, as the water grew tepid, Rowan twisted in my arms, her lips tracing an invisible path from my chest to my neck that awoke every one of my senses all at once.
She breathed against my skin, and I pulled her closer against me.
“I love you, Evander,” she said softly.
I swallowed. Still unused to this raw honesty between us. The freedom that came with the admission, the naming of this feeling that had filled the space between us for so long.
“And I love you, Lemmikki.”
Her shoulders relaxed in response to my words, but there was something else burning in the embers of her eyes.
Fear.
Like she didn’t fully trust that this would last. Like the stars would refuse to let this moment last. Or maybe it was my own fear I saw reflected in her gaze.
Either way, I pulled her closer, refusing to let fate take her from me now.