Chapter 92
CHAPTER NINETY-TWO
I barely registered the ride back to the estate, the sleepless night on a bed that felt far too empty, or the way I kept turning to my left on instinct to check on a wife who was no longer here.
It was like having a phantom limb, with all of the pain and none of the functionality.
At least she was safe, as long as Korhonan had managed to get her out, that is. I had to believe that he had.
I spent two days pushing those thoughts out of my head, readying myself to give everything I had to the war Nils was bringing to my doorstep. Our chances were next to impossible, but that didn’t mean I would let my clan fall without a fight.
My men deserved better than that, for all the lives they had already sacrificed, and for the parts of themselves they had been forced to sacrifice long before this war.
I had given the orders for the troops to move before I’d left, as well as for the villagers along the main road to evacuate farther into the country. The entire crux of the assault on our estate depended on the enemy forces reaching us before our allies could, which at least meant that they wouldn’t go out of their way to find random villagers to torture.
Once Iiro had control of Bear, he would play the part of the benevolent leader—right up until he starved everyone to death with his taxes and his greed.
In any event, evacuating those villages would avoid more needless slaughter of our women and children.
When the estate came into view, there were already signs of preparation for an impending attack. Soldiers armed with bows lined the rooftops and the outer wall. The courtyard teemed with activity, men carrying supplies and weapons from wagons into the estate.
My cousin had done well, and though I had tried to keep him from the war, it seemed as if war was destined for him. Of course, he was ready to face it anyway.
He rushed out to meet me as soon as I rode up to the estate, his piercing blue eyes scanning cautiously. I had written him to prepare for the attack, carefully avoiding the added bit of information about what I had left behind.
“Where is your wife?” he asked, his mouth set in a grim line and his tone as close to panic as he ever came.
When I blinked, I could still see the outline of her perfect body lying in the bed at the inn. I could still hear her slow, steady breaths as she slept, the sound of the door clicking shut as I closed it behind me and walked away from her to keep her safe.
I steeled my expression, shutting down the swell of guilt and the stabbing sense of loss that threatened to overtake me.
“I sent her back to Lochlann.” I said the words with all the nonchalance I didn’t feel.
My cousin blinked, his lips parting.
“You what?” he asked, as though perhaps he’d misheard me.
When I didn’t respond, he shook his head like he was still struggling to understand. “And she just...went?”
No, indeed, she did not just go. Nor would she ever have, as he was obviously well aware. But this was the last thing I wanted to discuss right now. Or ever.
I dismounted my horse, leading him to the stables. Taras followed in expectant silence, apparently having no plans of letting the subject drop.
“Not exactly,” I bit out, avoiding the censure in his gaze.
We had a siege to plan for, and my cousin was choosing this moment—this particularly hellish moment—to question my choices regarding the woman he said himself was nothing but chaos.
Taras ran a hand over his face.
“What happened?” He asked the question like he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.
Which was fitting, since I also didn’t want to give it to him.
“I did what I had to do,” I said, hoping he understood what I wasn’t saying, or that he at least remembered himself enough to drop the matter for the time being.
I handed the horse off to the stableboy then spun on my heel, heading toward the castle.
“Tell me about the preparations here,” I ordered before he could pry further.
Taras’s eyes narrowed. He hesitated briefly before dipping his chin once, ceding this round to me.
“We’re as prepared as we can be,” he said, gesturing around at the courtyard and both the soldiers and courtiers alike who were readying for the siege. “But the forces just aren’t here.”
I thought back to the battle maps at the war camp and how woefully ill-equipped we were for this sort of betrayal. Anger swelled inside of me as I realized all over again how well Iiro had played his game. Had played me .
He must have known that it wouldn’t occur to me that Wolf would betray our alliance. It wasn’t done. For all that Socairans were known to be ruthless, we operated by a strict set of traditions and rules. Just as blood was not spilled at the Summit, no duke would dishonor an alliance and hope to maintain his clan by the end of it.
Unless he had the backing of a king, apparently. And in Nils’s eyes, his betrayal was second only to my own. Iiro had known that and had capitalized on it.
Der’mo .
“I know,” I admitted, running a hand through my hair with a sigh. “But it should buy us a couple weeks.”
If we were lucky.
He dipped his head again, knowing as well as I did that we had no hope of withstanding a siege with the number of forces they were talking about. We had to bank on Crane and Lynx getting through the Western Front, and on our holding out until they could— if they could.
It was a strange feeling.
As long as I had been alive, Bear had been all but untouchable. But this…Iiro’s underhanded methods may finally pay off for him.
At least he wouldn’t get his hands on Rowan now.
My cousin glanced at me like he could hear the thoughts playing out in my head, but he didn’t speak again until we were inside, away from prying ears. I headed to the war room, realizing there was no part of me that was ready to face the rooms I had shared with my wife.
They probably still smelled like her, not to mention the endless number of her things that still littered the room.
“Tell me what happened.” Taras pulled me from my thoughts once I had shut the door.
I should have known he wouldn’t give up that easily. He had always been pushy where she was concerned. Though I never thought I’d miss the days when he casually suggested that we dispose of her; that would have been easier to deal with than the open censure in his features now.
I paused, steeling myself as I met his glare with one of my own. The strain of fatherhood and an impending war must have given him a newfound audacity.
“I left her at an inn with Korhonan.” I said the words far more casually than I felt.
My cousin blinked in disbelief, and several beats of silence passed between us until he finally breathed out one single word. “ Der’mo .”
I swallowed back a wave of bile and fury as I thought of the villagers Iiro had left strung up along the road for my soldiers to find. The men, women, and children’s bodies he’d used as an example of what was to come, his cruel imagination fueling new and creative ways to display them each time.
“She was going to be a target for Iiro,” I said, watching as understanding dawned on his features. “Korhonan was the only one who could get her across the border. And the only one I trusted to keep her safe.”
He was silent for several long moments, his fists clenching at his sides before he finally nodded.
“That’s certainly an interesting turn of events,” he continued in his usual, more reserved tone. My cousin paused for another beat, then looked back up at me, eyes narrowed. “What did she think of the plan?”
I ran an uncomfortable hand over the light stubble on my jaw.
“Well…” I began, examining one of the bear pawns on the command table. “I left her a note.”
Taras’s brow rose as he digested that information. Finally, he shook his head silently before a small, dry laugh escaped him.
“I wouldn’t want to be Korhonan right now. Or you, at the end of this,” he tacked on.
A bitter, only slightly amused huff of air left me as I imagined the hell she would rain down on Korhonan. But, while my wife excelled at getting angry, she didn’t generally stay that way for long. Besides, anger was something she could only feel while she was alive.
And as much as I despised sending her away, I refused to accept any world that didn’t include her in it. I said as much to Taras.
“Assuming I even live through this, at least she’ll be alive to be mad.” I placed the pawn back down on the table, right in the center of Bear Palace. “You would do the same thing for Mila.”
As much as Iiro took pleasure in the needless slaughter of villagers, he wouldn’t dream of hurting a noblewoman from his own kingdom. Even his bloodlust had the boundaries of propriety to fall back on—just not where my Lochlannian wife was concerned.
Taras tilted his head to the side as if he were weighing the truth of my words. Then with a sigh, he added, “I would tell her, at least.”
I shot him a look, raising one eyebrow. “That’s because Mila would still go if you explained it. Have you met Rowan?”
“Yes.” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Yes, I have.”
Finally, his shoulders fell, acceptance settling in. He clapped me on the back in a single show of support that I pretended not to notice.
Even if it did ease something inside me, not having to fight a war on two fronts.