9. Kane
CHAPTER 9
KANE
I was a real jerk tonight, Kane thought as he opened the door to the guest bedroom.
Of course, he had some excuse for his behavior. He knew that. He was grieving the death of his father, and that was a complicated thing, given the state of their relationship. And then there was the fact that he certainly had not expected to cross paths with a face from his past when he had arrived at home. He’d known there would be unpleasant interactions upon coming back to Miller Creek, but part of the appeal of staying at his father’s place had been the hope that he wouldn’t have to see too many people he knew from his old life. He’d hoped to get in and out of Miller Creek with only a handful of people realizing he had come back at all.
He still hoped for that. But now he realized that it was going to be more complicated. Having Taylor realize he was here was as intense as having ten other people know, because she was…
Well, what was she? Not the reason he had left. She was right, he couldn’t put that on her. But his last conversation with her had certainly taken away his hope that he could find a better life here if he stayed.
Still, that didn’t mean he had needed to be a jerk to her.
He sat down on the bed, exhausted, wishing he could go to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t settle. Thoughts of Taylor turned over and over. It wasn’t right to say she’d gotten hot — she had always been pretty, and he remembered admiring her in their teen years. But it was different seeing her as a woman. There was a sensuality to her that just hadn’t been present when they had been younger. She had been a girl then, and now she was a woman.
That was the thought that refused to leave Kane’s head as he drifted off to sleep — not consternation with the fact that she was in his house, not frustration about the fact that he would have to figure out a way to split ownership of the place with her, but this fresh attraction to her that he had never felt before. It was enough to make him wish that the two of them were meeting — or re-meeting — under different circumstances, because as things stood, he didn’t think he would ever feel right about making a move on her.
Especially not after the way he had acted when he had found her here. He would deserve it if she never wanted to speak to him again after that, he thought.
Kane lingered in his bedroom the next morning, glad that he’d left loose his meeting time with Thomas Greely. He didn’t want to cross paths with Taylor if he could avoid it. When they saw each other again, things were going to be awkward — particularly after the way he had behaved yesterday. He wasn’t sure yet how he was going to handle that.
When he could wait no longer — Toby was scratching at the door and whining to go out — Kane got out of bed and headed down to the kitchen. He was dismayed to see that Taylor was still there, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and brewing a pot of coffee.
She leaned back against the counter. “I was starting to wonder if I would see you this morning,” she said. “Do you always sleep in so late?”
Even though he had come into the kitchen this morning determined to be nicer, Kane felt riled instantly. What was she criticizing him for? “Didn’t you get enough of picking my life apart when we were kids?” he asked crossly, going to the refrigerator.
“Hey,” she said. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Getting something for breakfast.”
“You could ask first.”
“This is my place too, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, the house. The groceries are mine. Everything in this house is mine, except for your father’s possessions and the stuff you left here.”
That got his attention. “The stuff I left here?”
“Your old things.” She regarded him for a moment. “Your dad never got rid of anything, you know. He left your room intact. It was like he was waiting for you to come back.”
Kane didn’t know what to say to that. “Where are those things now?”
“I packed them up after… after he died,” Taylor said. “They’re in boxes. I know maybe I shouldn’t have touched them, but I couldn’t keep that room as a shrine to you and still live here. It would have been too sad. I had to put those things away so I wouldn’t end up spending every day thinking about…” She trailed off.
“About how I wasn’t here when he died,” Kane finished for her.
She sighed. “I wouldn’t have done it if I had known you were coming back,” she said. “I would have waited for you to get here, if nothing else. But I had no way of knowing you’d be here so soon.”
“No, I guess you didn’t,” Kane agreed. “Look, I’m not mad about it. We can probably throw out most of the things you’re talking about anyway.”
“Your dad never touched your room, though,” Taylor said. “I want you to know that, Kane. If you’d gotten here two weeks ago, it would have been exactly the way you left it when we were eighteen. I’m the one who moved everything.”
“Well, thanks for letting me know.” Kane wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It added more guilt to what he was already feeling. His father never giving up hope that he would come back — that must mean that he would have welcomed Kane home if he had decided to come. It was hard to have to face the fact that he could have come home, and that he simply hadn’t.
“Are you going to get a hotel room tonight?” Taylor asked him.
Kane shook his head. “I can’t really do that,” he said.
“You can’t?”
“Well, for one thing, I’ve got Toby here,” he said. “I can’t keep him in a hotel.”
“Oh.” Taylor frowned. “I never thought of that.”
“I also can’t really afford the costs of staying in a hotel for the amount of time I’m going to need to be in town,” he said. “I was planning on staying at the house. I didn’t think I was going to need to make other arrangements.”
“Okay,” Taylor said. “I guess… I mean, this is your house too, so you can stay here if you want to.”
He thought of pointing out that she wouldn’t have been able to order him away even if she had wanted to, but he changed his mind. All things considered, Taylor was being pretty cordial, and he found that he didn’t want to make this more contentious than it had to be. “Thanks,” he said. “I appreciate it. Hopefully I won’t need to be in town too long — I don’t want anyone to know I’m here, so I’m planning to do what I need to do and get out as quickly as I can.”
She looked like she wanted to comment on that, but she restrained herself. “I’m sure it won’t take too long,” she said. “I mean, I’m not going to have the money to buy out your half of the house within the next few days…”
“That’s okay. We can figure out some kind of payment plan,” he said.
“I don’t know if I want to be in your debt.” Taylor frowned. “This is going to be a hassle.”
“Just like my dad, sticking us with something like that,” Kane said.
“You don’t need to be rude about it. He could have just left me the house outright.”
“Maybe it would have been better if he had. At least then you and I wouldn’t have had to go through all this, trying to sort it out.”
Taylor sipped her coffee. “You know what?” she said. “For someone who doesn’t like me commenting on the fact that you haven’t changed, you really have not changed very much.”
“I’m trying to keep this friendly,” Kane told her. “Would it kill you to do the same?”
“This is you trying to keep it friendly?”
“It’s not exactly easy for me, you know, being back here in Miller Creek after everything that happened,” Kane said.
“No,” Taylor agreed. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”
“Maybe we should just try to stay out of each other’s way until I can go back to Detroit.”
“In which case, I probably shouldn’t go see Thomas Greely with you.”
“No, I think I can handle that on my own,” Kane said. “I’ll let you know what he says about the idea of you buying the house.”
“Thanks,” Taylor said. “I appreciate that.”
“Is it all right if I take a cup?” he asked her. “Or are the dishes here yours too?”
She rolled her eyes. “They were Jason’s,” she said. “You’re welcome to them. And I’ll look the other way on a cup of coffee to go, if you’d like to take one with you.”
“Thanks.” He poured some coffee into a travel thermos and screwed on the lid. “I’ll be back right after my meeting,” he said. “I’m not going to spend any time in town, because I don’t want to risk running into anyone I know.”
“I’ll be around,” Taylor said. “I don’t have work today.”
“Great. See you later, then.”
He walked out before she could say anything else.
This was going to be difficult. He had gone into the kitchen this morning intending to keep things pleasant between the two of them, and that hadn’t lasted more than a minute. He still wanted to maintain good energy, but it was starting to seem more and more impossible.
Maybe having a few hours out of the house today would help. It would give them both some time to think, to adjust to their new reality. At least, he hoped that was what they would do with their time apart.
Being back in Miller Creek had seemed dreadful from the moment he had realized he would have to come. But now, sharing a house with Taylor Levine for weeks on end… it was hard to imagine anything more difficult. Kane wished there was some way around it, but he could think of no better solution. He would just have to get through it.