19. Kane
CHAPTER 19
KANE
“ I swear, you’ve been in here every day this week,” Steve Tucker said, smiling at Kane across the counter of Tucker’s Hardware. “Every time I think I must have seen the last of you, you come back again!”
“I always think I have all the supplies I need, and then I find out otherwise,” Kane explained.
“What is it this time?”
“Pony rides. So we need a post we can put in the middle of a circle, something to tie the ponies to so they can go around.”
“Sure, I think I’ve got you covered there,” Steve said. “Want to wait here while I go see what I can whip up?”
“I’ll be in the paint section, if you don’t mind,” Kane said. “Taylor’s insisting that we need a booth selling local honey, and that it has to have bees painted on it.”
“You’re lucky to have that girl helping you out, you know,” Steve said. “She’s a gem.”
“I know she is,” Kane agreed. “I couldn’t have done any of this without her.”
He made his way over to the paint section to look for the shade of yellow they’d need to paint bees — they already had the black. His heart was lighter than it had been in a very long time. Everything was going surprisingly well these days.
They had met with the Chesterfields a few more times since that awkward first meeting — Jeff had gotten Donna on board with the project. She remained a bit hesitant about it, but Jeff was downright excited. Yesterday, he and Kane had set up all the booths they’d constructed so far. There were only two days to go before the farmers market was due to begin.
Jeff Chesterfield wasn’t the only one who seemed to have come around on Kane, either. As word spread about what they were planning, the whole town seemed to be looking at him differently. He had noticed it as he’d gone about town doing his errands. It definitely felt like fewer people were whispering about him as he passed, and some people had even smiled at him.
And then there were the conversations with vendors, like the one he had just had with Steve Tucker. They greeted him, these days, like they were happy to see him, like they thought what he was doing was something impressive. His actions in the present were beginning to balance out the sins of his past, just as he had hoped they might. Just as Taylor had suggested they would.
Kane pulled out a paint card with various shades of yellow on it, trying to decide whether any of the colors would be suitable for bees. One of them would probably work. He had just about decided to ask Steve for his opinion when he came back, but then his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices in the next aisle over.
“That’s what I said — Taylor Levine.”
The sound of Taylor’s name got his attention, of course — how could it not? Kane felt guilty as he stopped to listen, but he couldn’t resist. He had to know what was being said about Taylor.
“Janice, you’re such a gossip,” said another voice. “You always say that you’re not interested in gossip, and then you do this sort of thing, and it makes you impossible to believe.”
“I thought you would want to know what Taylor told me,” the first voice said, and Kane realized it belonged to Janice Lipton. Whoever she was with was correct about her. She was one of the biggest gossips in Miller Creek. But what was she saying about Taylor? He couldn’t walk away now. He needed to know what this was. It was hard to imagine that anyone could have an unkind word to say about her, and if they were saying anything rude, he knew he would intervene to stop them.
“All right, then, let’s have it,” the second voice said. “You’re not going to let this rest until you’ve told us every detail anyway.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t want to know,” Mrs. Lipton said. “You might act like you’re too good for gossip, Christine, but you know as well as I do that this is the most interesting thing that’s happened in Miller Creek in a dog’s age. Admit it — you’re as interested as I am.”
“All right, all right,” Christine said. Kane didn’t recognize the name, but if she was a friend of Mrs. Lipton, she’d be a generation older than he was. It was likely he had never known her on a first name basis. “I give in. You’re right. I want to know. Now tell me, for heaven’s sake.”
“Well, you know what people have speculated,” Mrs. Lipton said, lowering her voice so that Kane had to lean in to hear what she was saying. “The two of them living in that house together, and now this whole farmers-market affair they’re putting on. They’re been saying that there’s something romantic going on.”
“Everyone’s heard those rumors,” Christine said dismissively. “Is that what you wanted to talk about? Who knows whether there’s even any truth to them?”
“Of course that’s not all,” Mrs. Lipton said. “Give me some credit, please. I had my appointment with Dr. Grundy a few days ago, and of course I saw Taylor first — she was working in his clinic that day.”
“That’s lucky for you,” Christine said. “She’s such a good nurse. So much better than some of his others.”
“I agree — but it was also lucky because it gave me the chance to confront her about the rumors,” Mrs. Lipton said.
“Oh, Janice. What did you say to the poor girl?”
“You don’t need to act so scandalized. I just asked her if she thought Jason would have approved of her running around with his son, given the way the boy never came back to reunite with his father.”
Kane scowled. Were they serious about this? Was the whole town worrying what his father would think of his being back now? Obviously he’d had to return. And he regretted not coming back sooner. But did his private regrets need to be such a subject of gossip? Had Miller Creek always been this way? Kane had to admit that he wasn’t sure. He’d last lived here as a teenager, and teenagers were probably gossipy no matter what town you lived in.
“Taylor isn’t Jason’s daughter,” Christine said gently. “Even if he wouldn’t have approved, she’s entitled to make her own choices.”
That’s right , Kane thought firmly, feeling vindicated. Listen to your friend, Mrs. Lipton. She clearly understands better than you do.
But then Christine sighed. “The truth is that I worry about Taylor for reasons having nothing to do with poor old Jason,” she said. “She’s usually such a sensible girl, but I think she has a weakness when it comes to Kane McCormick. You remember how it was after he left the first time. Most people were shocked — scandalized — but Taylor just went quiet. You remember that, don’t you? Everyone was worried about her. No one knew exactly what to make of her response. And there were those who thought she might even have been involved in what happened — that she might be partly responsible for the fire.”
Kane was stunned. Had people really thought that? He could have set them straight if he’d stuck around, but he hadn’t, of course. Taylor had never mentioned this. Had she known about it? Was it possible she’d thought it simply didn’t matter?
“She didn’t get herself into any trouble over it,” Mrs. Lipton said rather dismissively. “I’m sure she isn’t still holding onto that. Remember, Jeff Chesterfield told everyone that he knew what had happened. And his story had nothing to do with Taylor. There’s no one who still believes she was involved in that mess.”
“Of course not. But she was upset about something back then, wasn’t she?” Christine sighed. “I don’t know. I just think it’s obvious that Kane is no good for her. She’s such a good person. I don’t want to see her dragged down by the likes of him, that’s all. I don’t want to see her tied up in rumors again, the way she was back then, and I don’t want to see her as sad as she was during that time. I don’t think associating with Kane McCormick can possibly be good for Taylor, that’s all. That’s what I worry about.”
Kane was stunned. He actually had to take a step back from the rack of paint colors, putting a bit more space between himself and the two women, to process what he had just heard.
This was what people were worried about?
Not that he had done an awful thing nearly a decade ago, but that he was going to ruin Taylor’s life now? He would never do something like that.
And then he paused and thought — was that the truth?
Taylor was investing so much of herself in helping him to make amends for the past. She shouldn’t have to do that. She didn’t have to do that. Surely she knew she was under no obligation. What harm could it do her?
She’s benefitted so far , he told himself firmly. She was able to buy that house for much less than market value. Anyone else would have asked much more .
But that was such a cold response. Was he really justifying his presence in Taylor’s life with the reasoning that she’d gotten a good deal on the house because of him? What difference did that make?
If it was true that she’d been sad after he had left last time, how would things be for her this time? He couldn’t stay. He had a job and a life in Detroit that he needed to get back to. And besides, even though things were getting better in Miller Creek, no one here wanted him in this town long-term.
Oh, who was he kidding? Things weren’t getting better at all. That was an illusion. It was obvious. If people had come to think better of him than they had before, he wouldn’t be the subject of gossip in the hardware store.
The truth was that everything he was doing was completely selfish and self-serving. He should never have allowed himself to stay here this long. He should have gotten out of town as soon as it was possible to do so. Instead, he had allowed himself to get pulled into this plan to make things right with the Chesterfields — a good idea on the surface, but it was only going to lead to things getting worse between himself and Taylor. These old ladies were right. He was going to hurt her in the end.
He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get this close.
Well, it wasn’t too late to remedy the situation. He would have to pull back from her, that was all. He couldn’t cancel the farmers market now, not with everyone depending on him. He wouldn’t let the Chesterfields down like that again. But he would finish this, and then he would get out of town before he could do Taylor any more harm than he already had.
Kane hated to admit it, but they were right about him. He had always known that he was someone who caused nothing but damage to everyone he touched. And now, here was the proof. The harm he had caused Taylor had been far worse than he had ever realized. He should never have let himself get close to her.
She deserves better. She deserves someone who won’t be an anchor around her neck.
Kane had been dreading the day he would have to leave town. But now, to his own surprise and dismay, he found that he was looking forward to it. Being here was just too hard. There were too many things that needed to be faced — and none of them were things he could fix.
He hurried out of the hardware store and was already in his car before he realized that he had forgotten to get the paint. But he couldn’t bring himself to go back. Not now that he knew what people really thought of him — and knew, too, that they were almost certainly right to think it.
He would just have to send Taylor to the store for him.
It would be the first of many ways in which he knew he was about to let her down.