4. Nico
CHAPTER 4
NICO
N ico scrolled through a series of messages from his mother, Rose, detailing the evening she’d spent with Louis. From the pictures, he saw that his son had spent a good amount of time painting, followed by a bath in which the water had turned blue and orange from the paint he’d gotten on his hands and face. Nico typed out a quick reply, then slid his phone back into his pocket.
He and Lauren were standing in different spots on the crowded metro, so he took the opportunity to steal a glance at her, hopefully without her seeing. Lauren looked lovely, from the way her hair fell in waves around her shoulders to her small smile, to the way that yellow dress fit her so well. Nico bit his lip.
It felt wrong not to tell her about Louis, especially since he’d had so many opportunities to bring his son up casually in conversation. Louis was a big part of Nico’s life — in fact, he was the biggest. Nothing else mattered to Nico as much as his son did. If there was any chance of more dates with Lauren, he needed to tell her about Louis right away. Otherwise she might feel like he’d hidden something from her.
At the same time, though, Nico didn’t think he could bear it if he told Lauren about Louis and she reacted badly. He wasn’t ashamed of his son, not at all; he loved Louis more than anything. But Nico also knew that some people were surprised or judgmental about the way Nico had become a father.
It had been the end of college. Nico had dated a woman from his economics class, Léa, for about two months, and it had been fun for both of them. Yet as graduation loomed and they both began to think about their lives after college, they’d agreed that they were better off as friends than as a couple. They’d parted on good terms, and Nico had begun his first job as a French teacher in a local language school, which he’d hoped would eventually lead him into higher-level teaching.
Then, about two months after graduation, Léa had contacted him. It turned out that their brief relationship had left her pregnant, despite the precautions they’d taken. The pair had met in a café and spent hours agreeing on the best way forward. They’d decided, together, that they’d stay friends and keep their own apartments and lives, but that they’d be co-parents to the baby — Louis.
It had all worked much more smoothly than Nico had expected. At least until Léa had gotten sick.
Even though Nico was proud of how he and Léa had handled a situation that they had neither expected nor planned for, he knew that his having become a father at twenty-two with a woman he wasn’t even dating at the time wasn’t a huge turn-on for women. Plus, Lauren probably wasn’t looking to become involved with a single father who spent most of his time helping his son with homework or playing with Louis’s prized train set.
Anyway, Nico shouldn’t be planning a second date in any case. Lauren might not be interested. He didn’t even know how long she was planning to stay in Paris. Maybe it was better to enjoy this evening for what it was instead of worrying about a future that might not even come to pass.
“This is our stop, right?” Nico was startled out of his reverie by Lauren, who had woven through the crowd to get his attention.
“Yes — sorry.” They got off, and Nico led the way to the restaurant. It was one of his favorite places in Paris, although he rarely had the occasion to come to such an elegant place in his day-to-day life. Inside, small round tables were decorated with flickering tapered candles, while uniformed waiters wove in between to deliver steaming delicacies to diners. As Nico had hoped, Lauren’s face lit up at the sight of the restaurant.
“I know it’s silly,” she confided as they sat down, “but this is the kind of restaurant I imagined eating in when I came to Paris.”
“That’s not silly.” Nico reached for the menu. “How do you feel about escargots?” Lauren wrinkled her nose and Nico laughed. “Okay, that’s a clear answer. Don’t worry, there are plenty of other options.”
“Like…” Lauren ran her finger down the menu. “Tomato salad with stracciatella? Isn’t that ice cream with little chocolate chips?”
Nico laughed a little too loudly, causing a few other diners to turn and give him annoyed looks. “It is, but it’s also a kind of cheese.”
“Thank goodness. I was worried that the French enjoyed eating tomatoes with chocolate-chip ice cream on it. Or what about… zebra? Do you really eat zebras?”
It took Nico a moment to find the word Lauren was referring to, but then he laughed again.
“That’s just ribs, not anything from a zebra.”
“I hoped it wasn’t, but I also wasn’t sure.” Lauren shrugged. “I guess this is an area in which my French is really lacking.”
Nico waved her off. “I can see how those words would sound weird to an English speaker. Can you imagine having a dinner of zebra with an ice-cream-and-tomato salad?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it past the French. You guys eat snails .” Lauren gave an exaggerated shudder, and Nico rolled his eyes jokingly.
“You should really try the escargots. I know it sounds weird, but it’s a unique culinary experience.”
“I have to point out that you said unique, not delicious. I like my food to be more delicious than unique.”
“Oh, my apologies. I should have taken you to a McDonald’s this evening, it sounds like.”
Lauren whacked him playfully with her menu. “How dare you! I’ll have you know that I’m more sophisticated than that.”
“So you say…” They grinned at each other, then turned back to their menus to continue perusing. Nico half-hoped that Lauren would have more amusing insights into French cuisine, but she seemed to understand the rest of the menu without issue.
When the waiter came a few minutes later to take their orders, Nico ordered a steak, while Lauren opted for a fish dish. They both sat back to wait for their food.
“You know, I realized that you never told me the full story of why you came back to Paris now. Did you plan it for a long time?”
“Not really.” Lauren hesitated, then sighed. “Honestly, it’s not the most cheerful story.”
“That’s all right.” The wine Nico had ordered arrived, and he raised his glass to her. “I’d still like to hear it.”
“Well, I mentioned earlier that I was raised by a single mother, like you. But the rest of the story is that my mother passed away when I was very young. My father was already out of the picture, so my grandfather stepped in to raise me. He’d been on the verge of retirement, but he kept working so that he could give me everything he said I deserved.”
Nico saw a sparkle of what looked like tears in Lauren’s eyes and instinctively reached to cover her small hand with his own. She flashed him a tentative smile before continuing.
“When he got sick a few years ago, I didn’t hesitate to move back, even though he practically ordered me not to. When I was young, he gave up everything to be there for me, and there was no way I wasn’t going to do the same thing for him. I took care of him until he passed away a few months ago.” With her free hand, Lauren wiped her eyes. “He left me everything he owned, along with a letter urging me to take my inheritance and follow my dreams. I thought that coming to Paris, like I’ve always wanted to, was the best way to honor his memory.”
“Is that his?” Nico asked, nodding to Lauren’s necklace. He’d spotted the ring on a chain around her neck and wondered about it, and now things were starting to click into place.
“It is.” Lauren wrapped her free hand around the ring. “I like to think he’d be proud of me. But as happy as I am to be here, it isn’t easy.”
Once again, Nico struggled with himself. If there was one thing he understood, it was loss. Even though he and Léa hadn’t been a couple when she passed away, she had been his best friend and confidant, as well as the mother of his child. It had been heartbreaking for both him and Louis — and then heartbreaking in a new way as Louis grew up and began to lose his memories of Léa. Nico wanted to share the story with Lauren so that she’d know she wasn’t alone, but he hadn’t told her about his son, and this didn’t feel like the way to do so.
Instead, he squeezed her hand and gave her a gentle smile. “I’m sure he would be very proud of you. I’m impressed by how you took a terrible loss and turned it into something beautiful, and he would be, too. And I think he’d understand that you can miss him and be happy and excited about your future at the same time.”
Lauren looked up from the table and smiled, although it looked a little wobbly. “Thanks. And I’m really sorry. This wasn’t exactly a light topic to chat about on our first, um, date.”
Nico’s internal battle reared its head again as he warred between pleasure that Lauren had identified this dinner as a first date and worry about the enormous secret he was keeping from her. But if Lauren was talking about a first date, maybe Nico could use their second or third date to divulge the information about his son to her. It wouldn’t really be hiding anything; it would just be saving a difficult conversation for a time when they both knew each other better.
Relief flooded Nico at the solution. It was perfect.
“Don’t worry.” He squeezed her hand again. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I think talking about the people we miss helps them stay present in our memories.”
“I think so, too.”
“So, tell me a little more about your grandfather.”
A more confident smile broke over Lauren’s face. “Well, his name was Henry. Henry Chapman. That’s my last name, too, if I didn’t mention it.”
She hadn’t, so Nico filed away the knowledge that the beautiful woman across from him was Lauren Chapman.
“Henry is a good name.”
“He liked it. Anyway, he was quite a character all his life, right up until the end. He flirted with all his nurses and charmed them so much that a lot of them started bringing him home-cooked meals and little trinkets during his hospital stays. He was a practical man who worked hard at the post office for most of his life, but he had a whimsical side, too. When I was young, he and I built a dollhouse together out of wood scraps, and then he spent hours playing with me, even though all I wanted to play was unicorns and fairies.”
“He sounds like a good guy.”
“Oh, he really was.” Lauren grinned. “And he would have liked you. He was all about helping people when they were in trouble, like you did with me today when I was lost.”
“I really didn’t do much.”
“You did a lot . Not only did you help me get turned in the right direction, but you gave me a great first day back in Paris that I’m always going to remember.”
Nico opened his mouth to say something back about how it had been a day he’d always remember too, but at that moment their food arrived and they were both momentarily distracted from the conversation. Nico took his hand away from Lauren’s to accept the plate of food. Once the waiter had gone, Nico felt awkward about returning to the tender subject matter they’d been discussing.
“Shall we dig in?”
“Of course.” A hint of a shadow flickered across Lauren’s face as she agreed, but she also reached for her fork and speared a stalk of asparagus. For the next few minutes, the sound of cutlery and a few exclamations over the quality of the food was all there was to be heard at their table.
“Did your grandfather ever come to visit you while you were in Paris?” Nico asked once they’d both cleared their plates. They’d chatted a little while they ate, but had mostly been quiet until the plates were taken away. Now they sat beside each other, a little unsure, dessert menus in front of them. Lauren shook her head.
“We talked about it, but he said he was going to let me have my adventure and that he might tag along next time. And like I said before, I kind of feel like he did.”
They smiled at each other, and Nico felt a band of connection grow between them. It was an odd feeling; he rarely opened up to people and, because he didn’t, others didn’t open up to him, either. Knowing that Lauren had trusted him with something personal and tender made Nico feel closer to her — and wish that he could share something personal of his own.
But he couldn’t. Instead, he decided to acknowledge the closeness he felt without any words that could give him away. He leaned toward Lauren, slowly, giving her plenty of time to move or to say something. As he drew closer, he could see again the smattering of freckles across her cheeks and the way the blue of her eyes was really a myriad of different shades, from a midnight sky to a tropical ocean.
“Lauren.” His voice sounded a little gravelly in his own ears.
“Nico.” Her voice, on the other hand, was a little higher than normal. Her cheeks were flushed. Desire rose in Nico, and he knew that, despite everything, neither of them wanted to wait any longer for this kiss. The intensity of the moment they’d shared on the riverbank came flooding back, only stronger for the conversation they’d just had.
Nico bent his head to Lauren’s and she met him halfway. Her lips were soft, but as soon as they brushed his, Nico felt a flood of heat rush through him. He kissed her tenderly, lightly, then pulled back to assess her reaction. If he kept kissing her, he knew that it would become harder and harder to stop, even though they were in a public place and it wasn’t the right situation at all to start making out like teenagers.
Lauren’s cheeks were pink and her lips were slightly parted as she looked at Nico. That wave of attraction and connection broke over him again and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and explore a deeper, longer kiss.
“Wow.” Lauren broke their eye contact and looked down at her plate. “That was…”
“Yeah.” Nico bit his lip. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable?—”
“No!” Lauren cut him off with a quick shake of her head, her blush deepening. “It was wonderful. If unexpected.”
Nico laughed. “For me, too. This really isn’t how I expected today to go.”
“Me neither. But I’m glad that it turned out like this.”
“Me, too.” They smiled at each other. Just then, the waiter returned and asked if they wanted any dessert. Nico and Lauren exchanged a glance.
“I think we’re good,” Lauren said. Nico nodded his agreement, then asked for the check.
“We can split it,” Lauren suggested as she reached for her wallet. Nico shook his head.
“No way. Like I said, it’s your first day in Paris and I want to make sure it’s a good one. Let me take care of it.”
“Maybe I can get the next one?”
Nico smiled. “I think that would be wonderful.”
When the waiter came back with the check, he paid, then stood to lead the way out of the restaurant.
“It’s getting a little late, isn’t it?” Lauren asked with a glance at the starry sky above.
“A little. Would you like to go back to your hotel? I can point you in the right direction.”
“Not just yet.” Lauren wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s a beautiful night and I’d like to walk a little, if you’re interested.”
“I’d love to.” Nico’s heart soared again at the thought of more time with her. He held out his arm and Lauren took it. Her fingers were cold in the crease of his elbow. “But are you sure it isn’t too chilly out?”
“I’ll be okay.” They started to stroll along the street, which was lit by old-fashioned streetlights. Quite a few people were still out, even at this late hour, perhaps on their way home from dinners or on their way out to clubs. Nico considered inviting Lauren to go dancing or join him for dessert at another café, just to stretch their time together, but he wasn’t a big dancer and most cafés were now closing. Inviting her to his home, which he really wanted to do, felt like too much.
They walked for a few more minutes and soon found themselves on a small pedestrian bridge over a tributary of the Seine. Nico brought them to a stop under a streetlight.
“If you’re interested,” he said, his voice low, “I’d like to reprise our kiss from the restaurant.”
“I’d like that.”
So, Nico wrapped an arm around Lauren and drew her closer. She rose on her tiptoes as he bent his head, and then they were kissing it again. The kiss held the same thrill as the first, magnified by the privacy they now had and the romantic atmosphere of the street at night. This time, Nico gave in to his desire and deepened the kiss. Lauren’s mouth parted as she pressed closer, and it was all Nico could do not to lift her into his arms and wrap her legs around his waist.
The connection he felt with her was astounding after such a short time. Not only did he admire her bravery and her vulnerability, opposites that she somehow balanced in perfectly equal measure, but their physical connection was off the charts. Nico wasn’t sure he’d ever felt this attracted to a woman before. Her soft lips, the way her curves felt as he pulled her against his chest, the soft sigh she made when Nico ran his hand up her back — it was all intoxicating.
They pulled back after what felt like hours but could have been just a few seconds of intense kissing. Nico felt a little breathless, something that had never happened after a simple kiss before, and he noted that Lauren’s cheeks were even more flushed. He smiled at the knowledge that he could already judge her emotions by the color of her face.
“Wow,” Lauren said. She pressed a hand to her lips as if in wonder. It seemed she felt the same intense connection Nico did.
In a flash, Nico once again considered inviting her back to his house. He wanted time alone with her, to continue kissing and perhaps explore something more. But his home was filled with Louis’s things, which would be hard to explain, and he didn’t want Lauren to feel as though he was pressuring her. He would walk her home and that would be all.
And then Lauren said something that surprised him and made his heart soar.
“You promised to get me back to my hotel safely,” she said, her voice low and a little unsure. “Maybe the only way to be completely sure I make it is if you come back with me.”
“That seems only prudent.” Nico could meet her halfway, at least, especially given the look of vulnerability on her lovely features as she made her request. “Perhaps I should take you all the way up to your room, just to be sure.”
“Good idea,” Lauren said. “Maybe you can check under the bed for intruders.”
“Certainly. In fact, I don’t think I could let you go home alone in good conscience. It’s settled. I’ll accompany you all the way to your room.”
He took her hand and led the way toward the nearest metro station. Their steps were quicker than before, filled with a new kind of urgency. Nico wasn’t sure how the night would unfold, but he knew that he wanted to be with Lauren. He wanted — needed — to explore this connection.
Everything else, including his worries about not telling her about his son, were a problem for their second date, if there was one. And he hoped there would be. Today, he just wanted to see where things led.
The metro was much less crowded at this hour, so Nico and Lauren were able to find a place to stand together. As the train rumbled toward their stop, Nico put his arm around Lauren’s waist and she leaned into his side. She smiled up at him. Somehow, she managed to look gorgeous even in the flickering florescent light of the metro train.
“You’re beautiful,” Nico said. Lauren wrinkled her nose and opened her mouth as if to argue, but Nico shook his head. “It was a fact, not a question.”
“Well, thank you, then.”
When they reached their stop, Nico led the way up the escalators to street level. From there, Lauren spotted her hotel and they made their way across the street. Inside, Lauren led Nico into the elevator and scanned her keycard. As soon as the elevator doors closed, they were kissing, as if they were a pair of magnets that simply couldn’t stay apart.
“Lauren,” Nico said when they pulled apart, “I want you to know that I don’t have any expectations for this evening. I only want you to do what you’re comfortable?—”
But Lauren cut him off with another intense kiss. They parted only when the elevator dinged and the doors opened. They turned to exit and came face-to-face with a slightly shocked-looking elderly couple.
“ Bonsoir ,” Nico said politely. Then he took Lauren’s hand and hurried them both out of the elevator. They laughed as Lauren brought them to the door of her hotel room and scanned her card. When the door opened, they practically fell inside, then stopped and faced each other.
“I can’t believe we’re back at my hotel room,” Lauren said, her tone wondering.
“If you want me to go?—”
“No. Let’s sit. I can’t offer you much to drink, but I do have some mini pretzels and leftover soda.”
Nico smiled. Despite the heat in the elevator, he understood that Lauren wanted to take things slower. And he didn’t object to the chance to talk with her more.
“Mini pretzels and leftover soda sound great.”
And then Lauren rose onto her tiptoes and kissed him again. This kiss took Nico by surprise a little, but he quickly responded by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.
“What about the pretzels?” he asked between soft kisses.
“Maybe later,” Lauren said breathlessly. Attraction surged in Nico and he kissed her again, this time trailing his lips across her cheek and down her neck. She sighed and tilted her head back to give him better access.
“Is this okay?” Nico asked.
“Yes,” Lauren replied, her voice soft and filled with desire. “It’s very okay.”
The intensity of their kisses grew until Nico could hardly bear it.
“Shall we move to the bed?” Lauren asked. Nico responded by sweeping her into his arms and carrying her there, still kissing her. When he laid her onto the bed, he paused for a moment to capture the image of Lauren looking up at him with those blue eyes and those pink lips. He never wanted to forget this moment.
Then, together, they gave in to the deep attraction that had been pulling them ever closer from the moment they met. For a long time, they were in perfect harmony.