Chapter 17 Alice
ALICE
I crawl on my knees through a mess of dogs and blankets and pillows to get to my daughter. “Did you brush your teeth good?” I ask.
“Lia watched. Tell her,” Zoey says, nodding vigorously.
“She did absolutely great,” Lia yawns big, revealing her perfect white smile.
“Thank you,” I say to her. Then I turn my attention to my daughter. “Zoey,” I say softly. “Mama’s going to sleep now. Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the bed with me?”
Zoey’s eyes widen as though sleeping with me is a punishment. “Mommy, please! You promised I could have a living room sleepover with Lia and the dogs!”
I look at Lia, this young woman whom I hardly know, but who my daughter seems to think is her new best friend. “Lia…are you sure? You know it’s okay to change your mind.”
On the one hand, I am so desperate for a little help, I would love if she’d sleep in the living room with Zoey. The thought of a few hours alone, totally alone, in a strange bed, where no one and nothing can get to me… It sounds like heaven.
Morris is confident that Jerry hasn’t followed us, and Leo has reassured me that as long as I don’t have anything else electronic with me that Jerry could have installed any kind of software or app on, it is unlikely he has any idea where we are.
I can really, fully, finally breathe.
Lia curls onto her side and gives me a smile. “Pinkie-swear promise,” she says. “Zoey and I are gonna leave the TV on quietly and watch shows until she falls asleep, even if that’s at three in the morning. She’s on spring break, and I’m on an adventure. This is awesome!”
“Thank you,” I say. And I really am grateful. I kiss my little love goodnight and put a hand on Lia’s arm. “I’ll be right upstairs. If anything changes and you want to come upstairs, Leo promised the hall light will be on.”
“All night,” he says. Then he yawns and gives Lia a shy smile. “Goodnight, then. See y’all in the a.m. I showed Morris where everything is, so I’m turning in.”
He heads down the hall, flicking on the lights so the path will be illuminated if the girls get up.
Clearly Zoey’s infatuation for her new auntie Lia is even more powerful than her crush on Leo, because he is almost all the way up the stairs before she calls, “Goodnight, Leo!”
He looks back, ducking his head so he can see her from the top of the stairs. “’Night, Princess Zoey!”
I kiss Zoey one more time and remind her where the bathroom is if she needs to get up during the night. I repeat my promise to Lia, letting her know if she changes her mind and doesn’t want to have a sleepover, she can send Zoey up or come and get me anytime.
“Come on, Mom.” Morris rests a tattooed hand on my shoulder. “Let the kids have their fun.”
I nod and follow him down the hall, watching my happy little girl until I’m too far away to see the living room.
When I reach the bedroom door, I hesitate and clutch my hands in front of my chest. “I think I’m going to sleep on the couch,” I say and then turn back toward the living room. “I don’t like the idea of leaving Zoey alone with a stranger.”
“She’s not alone with a stranger,” Morris says. “Well, okay, she kind of is. But we’re all right here. Nothing is going to happen to Zoey. I promise that.”
“We don’t know, Morris. I mean, anything… Anything can happen at any time. You just never really know someone.”
I clench my hands into fists. I know it isn’t likely, but every horrifying possibility runs through my mind.
“Alice.” Morris lowers his face to mine. “I’ve known Tiny a long time. And if he’s been communicating with this girl for months, and he’s brought her into his life, I trust her. Let’s give trust a try until we have reason to doubt her.”
I nod, not entirely convinced.
He has a point, though. I left my old life to start a new one.
And that means new people.
New friends.
New ways of doing everything.
“Okay,” I say, louder this time.
“Fantastic,” Morris says. “Now, are you going to let me tuck you into bed?”
The door that’s closed is Leo’s bedroom.
There are two other rooms in the hallway.
One is Leo’s older brother’s room. The brother has been gone for over a year, and Leo’s cleaned the room up since his brother was last here, so Morris has volunteered to sleep there.
That leaves the grandfather’s former room for me.
I take a fast shower and get changed into sleep shorts and a tank top before heading into the room where I’ll be crashing tonight.
“Turndown service,” Morris says, knocking lightly on the door.
I left the door ajar, so I smile and motion him inside. “What’s involved in this turndown service?” I ask.
Morris hasn’t changed or cleaned up yet. He’s still wearing the jeans that fit his body like a second skin, but his boots are gone, and he’s wearing only a plain white tank. He taps the bed.
“Climb in,” he says.
I do and tuck in under the covers. I pat the bed beside me, inviting him to join me.
Morris climbs onto the bed, and I notice the mattress doesn’t squeal under his weight. I scold myself for even thinking about quiet mattresses.
Morris sits beside me, and we lean against the simple wooden headboard.
“What a day, huh?” I ask, trying to make light of it.
Morris grabs one of my hands and laces his fingers through mine. “One for the books, that’s for sure.”
“What happens next?” I ask. “I keep running from Jerry. He finds me, I run again. How does this ever stop?”
Morris squeezes my hand. “Tomorrow, we get up. We take it one hour at a time. We figure it out. And you don’t run.”
“Don’t run?” I repeat. “Morris…” I shake my head and twist toward him in bed. “I’ve been running my whole life, and it hasn’t made a bit of difference. I ran away from the grief when I lost my mom and ended up paying for that decision.”
“You got Zoey out of the deal,” he observes.
“Yes, but then look what I’ve given my daughter.
A man to provide for us who’d rather see us scared and controlled than living the lives he provided for.
” I rest my head on Morris’s shoulder, desperate for the comfort I know it will bring.
I can’t help thinking it may be the last time.
Tomorrow, Jerry will find me, and this whole effort will have been for nothing.
Morris tilts his head closer to mine. I can smell the musk of his skin.
I close my eyes and drink it in for a moment. The heady fragrance of sunshine and sweat, oil and man.
He adjusts his legs on top of the blankets, and I sigh.
“What am I doing here? I have no job. I owe Leo a shit-ton of money for fixing my car. He’s giving us a place to stay…
I can never dig myself out of this hole.
Maybe I should just go back to Jerry. Tell him he was right.
I am a fucking cunt. A stupid, traitorous bitch who doesn’t deserve the life he provides. ”
“He told you all that, did he?” Morris seems to take it all in stride, but he tightens his grip on my hand. “Well, let me tell you something, Alice Sparrow.”
He traces the fingers of my left hand, the one interlaced with his, with his free hand.
The light touch sends sparks trailing through my body, up my arm, through my chest. I can feel his presence beside me, and it’s as if every ounce of my being is straining to get closer, to feel more of his touch.
“You ever hear of broken wings, little bird?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Is that a biker thing?”
He nods. “When a rider has a broken wings patch, it means that rider’s been in a crash. Usually a pretty bad one.”
I take a deep breath and focus on the richness of Morris’s voice. His words vibrate through my body like he’s speaking to my soul.
“But you don’t just earn the patch by falling off the bike,” he continues. “You earn the patch by getting back on. Riding again. Overcoming your fear and flying—even if you have broken wings.”
I nod slightly. “Morris…” I know he’s trying to make a point. “This isn’t the same. I love what you’re trying to do. It’s sweet. You’re so…sweet.”
When I say that, Morris turns and grips me with a lightning-quick hand. He slides his fingers under my hair and twists so our faces are angled close.
“Baby,” he says, his voice low and silky.
“It’s exactly the same thing. You think we only fall once in life?
We ride, we crash. We ride again, we crash again.
Sometimes we’re lucky, and we don’t fall far enough or hard enough to do any permanent damage.
But most of the time, a fall means bad news.
Real bad. You’re fucked up so bad, you’re not sure you’re gonna make it.
But if you wanna earn that patch and ride again, you get back up. You ride again, Alice Sparrow.”
Before I can form another argument, Morris sweeps his lips over mine.
“Morris,” I gasp his name against his mouth.
In a flash, he’s out of bed, and he’s twisting the lock on the bedroom doorknob.
“Yes?” he asks, his eyes searing their heat into my skin.
My nipples pebble under my sleep tank at the question. I know what he is asking, and there’s only one answer.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Even if it’s only for one night, even if it’s the worst mistake I’ve made yet, I say it. I get back up on the ride. “Yes,” I breathe.
Morris strips off his jeans, and I’m not at all surprised he’s not wearing anything beneath them. I am ravenous as he strips off his tank, all muscles and arms and abs and hips.
I watch him, soaking in every ounce of his beauty, every inch of his strength.
He is massive and solid and…colorful. Tattoos cover his chest and arms, his back, even his hands and the sides of his neck. I could spend hours just tracing the shadows and shapes, memorizing them, asking for their stories.
But he gives me an even bigger distraction as my eyes travel down past his waist. Morris is hard as a rock, his cock thick.
I can’t pull my eyes from his length as he crosses the bedroom in long, quick steps.