Chapter 22 Morris #2
While the girls reclaim the slumber party room, making some such origami paper nonsense, spreading markers and colored papers all over Leo’s floor, Leo sits on the couch with a beer, playing on his phone while he pretends not to moon over Lia.
The big dog has claimed Leo’s lap, and the three humans and three dogs fill out the living room while Alice and I take over the kitchen.
“Want some help?” I ask. I’ve just taken a long hot shower, and I’m feeling slightly more human. Still homicidal toward Jerry fucking Cruz, but more human.
Alice sighs lightly and turns to face me. She’s chopping veggies for a stir-fry and is nursing a beer. Her feet are bare, and she’s pulled her hair into a messy bun while she cooks. She turns to face me, and I see something in her has changed.
“Morris,” she says. “I’m so, so sorry.” But Alice doesn’t sound sorry. She sounds pissed. “What happened today was all my fault.”
I pull open the fridge and grab a bottle of beer, then take a seat at the table. “Stop that talk. This was a dick move by Jerry. He knew goddamned well what he was doing. The kind of trouble he was going to cause. This isn’t your fault at all. He filed that report. He wanted to see you sweat.”
“No,” she says, sounding more resolute. “Today is totally on me.” She sets the knife down on the cutting board and joins me at the table.
“Morris, if I hadn’t been too afraid to leave Jerry, if I had just filed for divorce, served him with the papers while he was at work, fought him for the house and his businesses… ”
“If you did that, you might be dead right now,” I say, shaking my head.
“Alice, everybody knows the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the spouse being abused decides to leave. You know this asshole. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go easy.
Now we all know it. You did the right thing. The only thing you could do.”
She presses her lips into a thin line. “You know what’s funny?” she asks. “I was scared today. Really scared. More scared than I have ever been by anything he’s ever done. And I know that’s what he wanted. He feels powerful when I’m afraid. Or weak. Or vulnerable.”
“Typical bully,” I say. “Tale as old as time.”
“But now, I’m not afraid,” she admits. “I’m fucking furious.
” She scoots her chair closer to me and explains.
Our knees touch under the table, and even though I can smell the rice she’s put on the stove starting to boil, I lean forward and give her all my attention.
“All I could think about today,” she says, “was protecting you.”
“Protecting me?”
She nods. “You mean everything to me. I don’t know how to explain it, but the only thing that ran through my head when I wasn’t sure what was happening was that I would do anything—anything—to protect you.
I wasn’t sure if you had a warrant out for your arrest or if you were some kind of criminal.
But once I stopped being scared and I thought about who you are, what I feel for you…
I know it may seem crazy after such a short time, but all I cared about was making it okay for you.
Making the fear stop. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. ”
I lean across the table and kiss her lips. I open my mouth and taste the beer mixed with her natural sugary sweetness. “Baby, you never have to protect me.”
She nods. “But I wanted to. I knew we were being treated unfairly. I just didn’t realize why until later. We were being bullied by Jerry, and the police were just pawns, being manipulated by him. What a waste. A waste of police resources. A waste of our time. I was scared, but now I’m so ashamed.”
“The only thing that stops a bully is someone standing up to them,” I say. “And bullies…they feed off people’s fear and their shame. If Jerry didn’t have the power to make you feel those things, he’d have no power over you at all.”
“Together, we’re the only thing that Jerry can’t beat,” she says. Alice looks determined as she reaches across the table for my hand and squeezes. “After our night together, all I could think about was that I was doing it again,” she admitted.
“Doing what?” I ask.
“Running to a man to save me. First, I tried to lose myself in Zoey’s dad and sex.
Then, it was Jerry, bailing me out of my single-mother hell.
Now, it’s you. All morning, I was sure I’d made a huge mistake and that you’d figure out soon enough that you did too.
Either I’d want to leave you, or you’d want to leave me. ”
I shake my head. “Sweetheart, you don’t know me very well yet, although you should.” I give her a saucy wink. “I’m in this thing. You’ve had my heart since I saw you in that gas station. I just didn’t know it right away. Want to make you my old lady. Make this shit official.”
“Old lady?” she asks, looking confused and a little insulted.
“It’s a thing. All the brothers call their women old ladies. It’s like a term of endearment all the bikers use.”
She gives me a wry smile. “Old lady. So, we spend one night together, and we fly through the courting and the dating. I’m an old lady after just one night.”
After the day we’ve had, it feels like we’ve spent a lifetime together. But I know this is only the start of what we can have. Of what we can share. Of more.
“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been,” I tell her. “I just know.”
“Morris,” she says, squeezing my bicep with her tiny hand. “You sound like a greeting card.”
“So?” I say, leaning close to her. “I’m a man of many talents. Many, many talents. Talents which I hope to share with you again and again. All night long, specifically. Now, let’s eat dinner so you and I can go to bed.”