Chapter 10
brIDGET
I’m a complete and total asshole. I realize that as I watch Crow drive away in Morris’s truck. I close the front door and sink down on the couch.
Why the hell did I tell him I’d Googled him?
I suppose, on some level, I thought it would make things easier for him.
I know about his past, and I don’t judge him.
In fact, quite the opposite. It never occurred to me that he’d be upset that I knew or that I didn’t give him a chance to tell me if he was ever going to, in his way, in his time.
I wish I could chalk it up to my recent injuries, but honestly, I’m just so out of practice with matters of the heart.
Although I don’t know if it’s my heart that’s reacting every time I think of Logan—or something else.
This thing I feel around him, whether it’s chemistry or interest or whatever it is… I thought if he was feeling anything like what I am…
Fuck.
I don’t know what I was thinking. He knows my shit—he’s had a front-row seat for it. My money problems and broken-down house. I figured I’d save us some unnecessary drama if he knew that I’d read about his incarceration and that I am okay with it.
But that was clearly a misstep on my part.
I grab my phone and think about texting him. I mean, he has to come back, right? He didn’t grab his tools or his materials. Alice is coming later to get Zoey, so I suppose she could pack everything up and take it to him. He might be gone for good.
The reality that I might never see him again makes something tighten in my chest. I shouldn’t have any feelings about this, about this man, but they’re there or, at least, something is.
Disappointment. Uncertainty. Regret. All the things I feel just about every day, but now I have something to focus them on.
Just a few days of knowing Crow, and I felt like I was getting to know him.
The late-night texts all week sure as hell felt like the prelude to something.
The man who makes giraffe jokes with my kid. The man who showed up to fix my stairs without the promise of anything but a kind word about his work. The man whose corded arms and bearded jaw make me feel alive, awake for the first time in forever.
A lot of things about Logan make sense now that I know his story.
But it’s not enough for me to piece it all together on my own.
I want to hear it from him. I want to listen, understand, and give him the support I’ll bet he’s used to only getting from people like Morris and Alice.
People who loved the man he was and stood by him.
Who know the man he is now, no matter how long he was away.
I can hear Mia and Zoey upstairs laughing, and I wonder for a minute if I’ve completely misjudged the situation.
God, I’m an ass.
I’m a broke single mom with a headache condition. Maybe he isn’t interested in me. Maybe the reason he hauled ass out of here is because he doesn’t want to be saddled with someone else and their problems when he’s got more than enough on his own plate.
And I just violated his privacy but digging into his past and throwing it in his face. No wonder he stormed out of here. I wouldn’t blame him if he left his tools and blocked my number.
Feeling miserable, I look out the peephole and hope against hope that I see him walking up the walkway, but there’s nothing. My car’s on the street where Crow parked it last. His tools, materials, drop cloth, and everything are still spread out in my foyer.
I walk up the stairs, admiring his work as I go. The stairs are clean and the workspace dust-free. He must have finished the stairs and was going to add on the handrail. Gone are the spongy parts and the squeaks. My stairs are like new. Safe and strong. Just like I wish I could be.
I’m at the top of the stairs when there’s a knock at the door. I head back down, my heart throbbing in my chest. He’s back… Maybe he’ll let me explain…
But when I open the door, it’s Alice.
“Hi.” She’s so cheerful and sunny. “How was your day?”
I’m stunned to see her standing there. “I’m surprised to see you,” I say, blurting out the truth.
“Oh no, really? It’s three o’clock. The time must have really flown by.” She’s standing on the stoop, and I open the door and motion her in.
“I can’t believe it’s three. Come in, please.” She follows me inside and eyes the stairs.
“That looks fantastic. Did he get it all done?” She’s looking around and noticing Logan’s not here. She cocks her head. “Is Crow here? Did he leave? Morris’s truck is parked out front, I just assumed he’d still be here.”
The truck is out front? I look through the front curtains, and sure enough, parked on the opposite side of the street is the distinctive pickup that belongs to Alice’s husband.
I look at Alice, this woman I hardly know, and sink down onto my couch. I rest my face in my hands. “I screwed up, big-time.”
“I know a thing or two about screwing up. It used to be my specialty.” Alice sits beside me. “Want to share?”
“The kids,” I start. “Do you want to check on Zoey?”
Alice grins. “I can hear they’re doing just fine. I’ve got time.”
I start to tell her that I Googled Logan, but she interrupts me with a hand on my arm.
“Are you into him? Like into him, into him?” She’s grinning so big I’m sure that my being attracted to him can’t be a bad thing. I mean, I don’t even know if he has a wife or girlfriend… That wasn’t information I was able to find by cybersnooping.
“It’s been so long since I dated anyone, and I just…” I rub my face with my hands and wince at the slight sting of pain over my still-healing eyebrow.
“He’s hot,” Alice fills in. “I mean, come on. Any woman with eyes can see that.”
I chuckle, feeling better since she’s the one who said it. “God, isn’t he, though? I mean, he’s got the tall, dark, and handsome thing, but then he’s also so serious and yet playful at the same time.”
Alice nodded. “I know. I’ve got one of those myself. Morris looks like he’d tear the face off anyone who looked at me funny, but then two minutes later, he’s braiding Zoey’s hair.”
I sigh deeply, relieved that she gets it.
“So, what did you find?” she presses. “When you Googled him. You found some news articles, I’m guessing?”
I nod. “Yeah. And I feel really, really bad. I know he went to prison. I tried to explain that it doesn’t matter, but…”
Just then, there’s another knock at the door. This one firm. Loud.
Alice looks at me, and I get up to cheek the peephole. I open the door, and Logan greets us both.
“Alice,” he says with a nod. Then softer, “Birdie.”
He’s holding a piece of unfinished wood in his hands, the perfect length and shape for a handrail.
“Am I interrupting? I was going to get back to work,” he says, then kneels back down in front of his tools and materials.
“Not interrupting at all. I’m going to pry my daughter away from Birdie’s,” Alice says. “I have a feeling the begging is about to begin. Zoey is desperate for a sister, but I have a feeling…” She pats her stomach.
“Wait, what?” I stand and walk over to her. “Alice, are you…?”
Logan’s head whips up, and we look at each other for a moment before we look at her.
“Shh,” she whispers. “Morris and I have only told Zoey so far. We don’t want to take any of the excitement of Lia and Leo’s baby shower away from them.
We’ll tell everyone after that’s over. But Zoey is so excited, all she can do is pick out names and plan games.
She’s going to be a great big sister, but I have a feeling she’s going to be very disappointed when this little nugget turns out to be a brother.
We had to bribe her that she can name her sibling if she keeps this secret until after the shower.
It’ll be a miracle if we don’t end up with a kid named after a Rainbow Ranger. ”
I start to laugh, because that takes real faith. If I let Mia name another human being, I can almost guarantee it wouldn’t turn out well. My mom helped her name Gavin the giraffe after Mia wanted to name him “Giraffey.”
Crow is beaming. “Morris…a dad. A mini-Morris.” He stands up from his work and walks over to Alice. “Congratulations.”
She wraps her arms around him and laughs, lifting up on her toes and squeezing him tight. “We’re thrilled. It wasn’t expected, but it’s a very happy accident. Although it’s a secret for now. Got it?”
“Got it. Lips are sealed, babe.”
When Alice releases Logan, even though I hardly know her, I’m grinning and pulling her in for a hug. “Congratulations. How far along are you?”
“It’s early,” she says. “Not even ten weeks, so we’ve got a long way to go, but I’m feeling surprisingly good.
Just tired. That’s part of the reason I’m so happy that Zoey has found someone she can have fun with.
It’s going to be hard after being an only child all this time to have a baby to compete with.
And I just haven’t had the same energy I normally do to run around and keep her entertained.
” Alice releases me from the hug and meets my eyes.
“I’m so glad you’ve come into our lives.
I think our girls are going to need each other. ”
She walks up the stairs, calling for Zoey. I can already hear the groans of annoyance and Zoey begging her mom for more time.
When we’re alone downstairs, I study Logan’s face. I hope like hell he’s going to let me apologize, but he looks happy and light.
“A baby. God, that’s good news.” He looks down at his hands. “You know, not that long ago, one of us knocking somebody up wouldn’t have been something to celebrate.” He looks at me. “But times change. People change.”
He bends down to get back to work, and I open my mouth to say something, to walk through the door I feel he’s opened just a crack, but Alice is already heading back down the stairs, both of our daughters putting up quite a fight about separating.
“Mama, can Zoey spend the night? Please.”
I laugh at Mia’s theatrics, but Zoey’s got her beat.