Chapter 27
Blaine looked down at the screen on the Foxworth phone, now showing a map of the entire south county, with three areas highlighted.
“We’re going to need Cutter to go through them all,” Walker said.
“But I’ll hit this one first—” he pointed to the one farthest inland “—because I know some folks there. Or at least, this guy does,” he added, flicking the thick gold chain he wore.
He pointed at the second area. “Rafe, this one is for you. Not quite as touchy about strangers there. Blaine, this is where you first hit something, right?” Walker asked, pointing to the third area, which included the shopping area with the pet store.
Blaine nodded, and Walker went on. “Okay, if you can take that, we’ve got the most likely areas covered. ”
“If you think I’m just going to sit here at home on the very slim chance he comes back,” Erin began.
Blaine held up a hand. “Nobody said that.”
“Funny, I didn’t hear my name mentioned.”
He saw Rafe and Walker exchange glances. “I’ll get those set up,” Rafe said, and quickly turned and headed outside.
Walker coughed lightly, then said, “I brought some concealable security cameras from Foxworth. Rafe’s going to set them up outside, and one in Ethan’s room, just in case that happens.
They’re programmed to notify anybody with one of those phones if they’re activated.
If they are, then whoever’s closest heads back here. Fast.”
“Sorry,” Erin said. “I’m a bit on edge.”
“Understandable,” Walker said.
“And me being here doesn’t help,” Blaine said, and he couldn’t quite keep the sour undertone out of his voice. “We seem to be…at odds a lot.”
To his surprise, Walker laughed. “Hey, I saw Rafe and Charlie back when they were going at each other’s throats all the time. You guys are downright tame.”
As he watched Walker and Cutter leave a short while later, Blaine thought of what Rafe had told him, about how he and his Charlie had worked it all out and rebuilt something even better.
He glanced at Erin, wondering. Pointlessly, no doubt.
No matter how she’d looked at him this morning, and no matter how his heart and body had responded.
She looked down at the map again, and he guessed she was figuring out where she would go to search.
He didn’t like the idea of her out there alone, if only because she’d be looking for gang types, and they weren’t the sort to welcome scrutiny.
Even from a beautiful woman. And being that beautiful, plus being alone, poking around, could put a nasty target on her.
But he knew if he suggested she might not be safe, she’d blow up at him, because right now all she cared about was Ethan.
He quashed the single, tiny bit of pleasure there was for him in all this, that Ethan loved him enough to act out like this.
That he missed him that much. But there was no room for that, not now, not when his boy was out there, quite possibly headed for much bigger trouble, if not already there.
Today was the tenth day since Ethan had taken off, and in his mind that was a fairly grim marker.
“Come with me,” he said abruptly.
She looked up at him. “We can cover more ground if I don’t.”
He knew better than to say what he was guessing was true, which was that if Ethan did see her, he would dodge out of sight. She was the focus of his anger right now, deserved or not.
“True,” he said neutrally. “But if we go jointly, and happen to get lucky enough to hit the right place, the shock of seeing us together might freak him out enough to let himself be seen.”
He watched as she considered that. Finally she nodded.
And so they both headed out to the district near the pet store where they’d gotten their first lead.
She parked her car in a public lot near the closest intersection, but didn’t get out immediately.
After a long moment of watching her stare out the windshield as if she wasn’t seeing anything in front of them, he finally spoke.
“I was thinking we’d stop in at the pet store. In case he came back.”
She visibly snapped back to the present. “Okay. Yes.”
“I’ll pay the guy for what he took, too. Might make things easier when we get him back home.”
She gave him a long, steady look. “You’re…used to this,” she said quietly.
He blinked. “What?”
“Situations like this, I mean. Nail-biting ones. Searches with crucially important goals. Life-or-death missions…”
Her voice trailed away as she said that last part. “Erin,” he began, but stopped when she shook her head.
“You’re used to this, so you’re good at it. I just seem to…fall apart.”
A sudden memory struck him, of a day long ago, when ten-year-old him had determined he was going to climb that ancient tree that spilled over into the backyard at his childhood home.
He’d told her to stand guard and let him know if Mr. Edgar came out.
The old guy was pretty cranky, and he didn’t want him coming over to yell at him, or worse, his parents.
“Then why are you doing it?” she’d asked, sounding exasperated.
“Because it’s there and needs to be climbed,” he said, as if it were self-evident.
“What if you fall and get hurt?”
He had scoffed. “Won’t happen.”
“Well I’m not helping you do something that could end up with you in the hospital.”
He didn’t know how his expression had changed, but when he snapped out of it she was watching him.
“Where did you just go?” she asked.
He shrugged, letting out a rather embarrassed chuckle. “Long ago but not so far away.”
She drew back slightly. “What?”
“Mr. Edgar’s tree.”
He could tell by her reaction that she’d gotten there immediately. Her eyes widened slightly, and then took on that look again, that of staring into the distance but not seeing what was in front of them right now.
“Even then,” she finally whispered.
His brow furrowed. “Even then?”
She focused on him. “That day…it was a preview, wasn’t it? Of what our life together would be. You taking off on some dangerous task, and me…staying back and being afraid for you.”
“Funny,” he said. “What I remember is you quite logically trying to talk me out of it. For my own sake. To protect me.” He managed a sad smile. “As you’ve always done.”
“You needed someone to cheer you on, not someone too afraid to even face what you were doing.”
He couldn’t stop himself, he reached out then and cupped her cheek. “You smiled and waved me off, even when I could see you were scared. You think acting happy that I was going would have been better?”
“More supportive, maybe.”
“No, Erin. Supportive is letting me go even when you hated the idea, because you know it was what I had to do. What I needed to do, deep down.”
“But—”
“Supportive,” he said, gently cutting her off, “is fighting for me when I couldn’t fight for myself, when I was barely aware of what was happening, and knew only that you were there so it would be okay.
Supportive is standing up to medical folks who couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of mutual communication. ”
She was staring at him now, and he thought he might never get a better chance to tell her. To tell her what he hadn’t in all the chaos, in all the agony, both physical and mental. Especially in the pain of her finally declaring it was over, she couldn’t take it again.
“If it hadn’t been for you I would have given up, Erin.
I would have taken the easy way out. I thought about it, a lot, on those days when every breath, even the slightest movement hurt like such hell.
I even figured out a couple of ways to do it, to end it all.
But I couldn’t give up, not when you were there, fighting as hard as I was. ”
He saw the moisture pooling in her eyes. “But you were the one hurting so much.”
“And you weren’t? It was just different battles, Erin. Different kinds of pain, but no less.”
A tear overflowed and streaked down her cheek. “After all the years together, since we were kids, I should have known.”
All those years, and he thought he’d known her pretty well. But apparently not as well as he thought, because he couldn’t read her now, just as he’d never been able to understand how she could have just walked away.
“Should have known…what?” he finally asked.
“I should have known what I was getting. That you’d never change. That you’d always be what you were—a hero, a fighter for what you believed in.”
“Erin—”
“I should have let you go long ago, so you could find someone who was tough enough.”
He reached out and tilted her head back with a gentle finger under her delicate chin.
“Only one problem with that. I never wanted anyone else.”