Chapter Four
Andy
I paced around the outside parameter of Leo’s RV. He had said he would talk to me. That he would listen. Did that mean he still wanted me, or was he just being nice? Leo was always like that. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body. It was one of the things I loved about him. Hell, there wasn’t anything about him I didn’t love.
I tugged on my too-long hair and tried to calm down. Leo would be here. He was a man of his word. He wouldn’t ghost me. He would never intentionally hurt me. Even if I had broken his heart.
“Andy, how long have you been waiting for me?” Leo’s soft, feminine voice caused me to stop in my tracks.
I swallowed thickly. “Not long.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I thought you might change your mind.”
“Mm...”
Leo unlocked the door. He motioned for me to follow him, and I practically tripped over my own feet in my hurry to do so. I didn’t want to ruin any shot I had at fixing this between us.
The familiar scent of cinnamon and baby powder hit me the moment I stepped inside. Last night I must have been too out of it to notice. Tears suddenly blurred my vision, and I pressed a hand to my mouth. I felt the beat of my heart and fought to pull air in through my nose to try to calm myself.
A lean body pressed against my thicker one.
“Breathe. I’m right here, hon,” Leo murmured. The soft palms of his hands caressed my face.
I yanked him against my chest and wrapped my arms around his small frame to try to settle myself. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Ricky. I fucked up. I hurt you when all I ever wanted to do was love you. I know you hate me. I know that I can’t take it back, but I would if I could. I would sell my soul to smack the younger vision of myself and unbreak your heart. You were everything to me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“But you said that you did. I wouldn’t blame you. I was an absolute cunt.”
Leo clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I know what I should do, hon, but I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could.”
I let him untangle himself from my grip, and as he stared up at me, confusion, hurt, and love flashed across his beautiful face.
“Are you on something right now? Is that what this is?” he asked.
“What?” I shook my head. “I’m not... I wouldn’t.” I drank more than I should sometimes and had tried a few illegal substances, even though I knew what my father would do if he found out. But I wasn’t drunk or high right now.
Leo folded his arms across his chest, and the fabric of his top bunched around his biceps. He was still smaller than I was, but he had filled out. It made me want to peel that fire suit from his body so that I could get reacquainted with it. Lick the sweat from his skin.
“Then what’s going on with you?”
“Ricky, I—” He didn’t stop me when I reached for the zipper. “Can I touch you?”
Leo placed his hand over my wrist. “No.”
“Please, I just... I miss you. So much, and if I could just hold you—”
“I said no, Andy.”
I nodded. “Sure, right, I understand. You and RJ are together.”
“Uh, no,” Leo barked, then exploded into a fit of giggles. “RJ is my friend, nothing more.”
Jealousy sparked inside my veins despite his confession. “But you have a boyfriend? You said so this morning, and I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your happiness.” Even if it would kill me.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” He blushed.
I lifted his head with my knuckle to force him to look at me. “You lied to me?”
“Of course, I lied to you!” Leo exploded and took a step back. “You broke up with me! You left me after you gave me that damn ring, and I had to sit back and watch as you continued to live your life. The awards, the fame, the happy smiles in all your pictures.” He narrowed his eyes. “The beautiful women.”
I swallowed thickly. “Lies, all of it. I wasn’t happy or with those women, Leo, I swear to you. I loved you. I still love you. It’s only ever been you.”
“I have a hard time believing that. You’re good-looking, people love you, and you probably had a different person in your bed every night on the road. Groupies just lining up at the chance to suck your dick.” Leo’s blue eyes welled with tears.
I wished that I could tell him that I had never touched anyone else, but I couldn’t. Leo was the only one I had wanted to touch. I itched to do it again, kiss those full lips, taste his skin, and breathe him into my lungs.
“Please don’t cry, Ricky. I hate to see you upset. I never meant for this to happen to us. I just... I want you back. I need you. Please, give me another chance.”
“I can’t do that,” Leo whispered. The tears slipped down his cheeks.
My stomach twisted, and bile threatened to come up, but I couldn’t force him to be with me again. “I understand.”
“Why did you have to do this? Why now? Why did you have to come back into my life when I was just getting everything figured out? My racing career is taking off. I have friends. I’ve been happier than ever, and now you’ve ruined it. The memories are going to drown me.”
It felt like a vise crushed my heart. “I didn’t mean to. I needed to see you. Hear your voice and tell you that I loved you. Hold you in my arms again.”
“You don’t love me! If you did, you wouldn’t have done what you did!” Leo exploded. “You broke me, Andy. Do you have any idea what that was like? How hard it was to even wake up in the morning? You promised. You promised me forever, then you took it away.”
I turned to leave. “I’ll go then.”
“You don’t have to.” Leo’s voice trembled.
Hope began to bloom inside my chest. “You want me to stay?” I held my breath as I waited for his answer. Please, please, just give me an inch, Ricky.
“I don’t want you to go,” Leo whispered, and then he was in my arms, clinging to me like his life depended on it.
A loud sob escaped my throat before I could stop it, and then I was crying. I dropped to my knees, and Leo came with me. I cried so hard that my entire body shook with the force of it and tears soaked into his fire suit. He held me, his nails digging into my skin while he stroked my hair with one hand, cooing into my ear.
I’m here for you, Andy.
It’s okay, hon, let it out.
You’re safe with me.
You’re safe here.
When I finally managed to gather myself together, I peeked at Leo, and he gave me a shy smile, brushing the wetness from my face with his fingers. My lids fluttered at his touch, and I couldn’t stop my cock from thickening in my jeans. He always had that effect on me. Lust, want, and need burned in my groin. I resisted the urge to claim his mouth. Instead, I reached up to touch his face with the palm of my hand.
“You want to stay here tonight?” He blushed as the words came out. “Just, you know, like old times?”
I sniffed. “You mean, in your bed?”
“Yeah, hon, in my bed.” He hummed.
I nodded. “I’d like that.”
***
I woke the next morning just as the sun had begun to come up, Leo wrapped in my arms, our legs intertwined together. He slept peacefully, looked perfect, and I couldn’t stop myself from pressing a kiss into his dark hair. His shampoo smelled different. Something a little feminine, fruity, and all Leo.
I had missed this the most. The way we would wake tangled in one another, all heated skin and beating hearts. In the beginning, when Leo first started sleeping at my house, we would giggle and kiss lightly before climbing from the bed. Then it turned into full-on make-out sessions, hiding the soft whimpers and cries of pleasure as we dry-humped one another into the mattress. Then came hand jobs, blowjobs and the first time Leo let me rim him. He had come so hard and loud I thought for sure my fathers were going to burst into the room.
I tried to calm my raging hard-on. I willed it to go down, to stop thinking about things I couldn’t have. I clamped my eyes shut. I remembered the sounds Leo made when he came, the first time he told me that he loved me, and the happiness of his laugh. How he looked on prom night, dressed in a blue gown made especially for him by Ezra, and what we did after the dance.
Before I realized it, I was rubbing against Leo’s thigh, trying to get friction. That was not what I had been going for.
“Are you feeling better this morning?” Leo’s familiar voice was right next to my ear. “It feels like it.”
My eyes flew open before I tried to scramble from the bed, only for Leo to place a hand on my arm to stop me.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. You let me stay here, and I tried to hump you. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“You did that a lot when we were kids.” Leo giggled, and the sound went straight to my dick. Not helping.
I flushed. “I did?”
“Yeah, hon, you did. Most of the time I just went with it because you made these sexy noises that drove me wild. A couple of times I helped.”
“Wait, a second. I thought that they were just wet dreams.”
Leo grinned. “Weren’t really wet dreams.” He blushed and hooked a leg around my waist to pull himself closer to me. “I would rub up on you, purring into your ear words of encouragement. You seemed to like it.”
“I thought I was dreaming.” I stared at his mouth, those lips I wanted to devour, and I might have if his alarm didn’t go off.
Leo untangled himself from me, turned it off, and then turned to stare at me. “I missed you, hon.”
My throat grew tight. “I missed you, too, Ricky.”
Leo climbed from the bed, and I watched as he removed another fire suit from the closet. He gave me a quick smile and dragged his hand through his hair. “I have to shower. I have a team meeting first, then the drivers meeting, and, well, the race.” He worried his lip between his teeth. “Do you want to watch?”
Uh, what? “Watch?” I squeaked out.
“The race! Oh, my goodness. Not me taking a shower.” Leo giggled nervously, and my cock pressed tighter against my briefs. “Did you want to watch the race?”
I nodded. “I’d love to, Ricky.”
“Okay, well, uh, I’m going to wash up.” He turned to head out of the room. “Help yourself to the coffeemaker,” he called over his shoulder.
I stared at his retreating figure. Leo invited me to the race. Mentioned coffee. Was this his way of trying to let me back in? I would take anything that he was willing to give me. Even if we only ended up as friends.