Chapter Four
Curran was going to throw up. The smell of the food his mother was cooking made his stomach churn and his mouth filled with saliva.
He couldn’t stay in the kitchen, but he also couldn’t allow his mothers to realize something was wrong.
If he told them he was feeling sick, they’d start fretting and push him to go see the healer.
They wouldn’t be wrong. Curran knew what was happening. He knew he needed to see the healer. He just didn’t want to.
He was afraid. Even though he suspected what was going on, talking to a healer and confirming it would mean he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Ignoring it to begin with probably wasn’t a smart idea, but clearly, he wasn’t one to have smart ideas.
He wouldn’t be in the predicament he was in right now if he was.
He swallowed and squared his shoulders. He needed to do something.
He wasn’t ready for his mothers to find out what was going on, but he needed to be sure.
Once he was, he could start thinking about what came next.
That meant that he had to go to the infirmary, which was good because he wasn’t up for eating.
He quickly walked through the kitchen on his way to the front door. Just like he’d expected, as soon as his mothers noticed him, they tried to stop him. “Sit down,” Yarra said. “Breakfast is almost ready.”
“I’m meeting someone. I don’t have time to eat.”
Alaina frowned. “You always eat breakfast with us.”
“Sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”
“It’s not a problem. Who are you meeting?”
“A friend. I promise I’ll stop in the dining hall and grab something to eat. I’ll see you two later.”
He could hear them try to get him to stop, but he ignored them and rushed out the door. It slammed behind him, and he allowed himself to take a deep breath. He could still smell breakfast, but at least he didn’t throw up in the middle of the hallway.
He gave himself a few moments. He didn’t think his mothers would peek outside to check that he was still there, but he couldn’t afford to linger.
Now that he’d made his decision, he needed to go through with it.
How scared he was didn’t matter. Waiting and wasting time wouldn’t change what was happening.
He straightened his back and squared his shoulders. He could do this. He had to do it.
He slowly made his way toward the infirmary.
He waved at a few people on the way, but he didn’t stop to talk to any of them.
He especially didn’t stop to talk to Aaron, his brother’s boyfriend.
He could see it hurt Aaron, but he’d been avoiding both Marlin and Birch since the party, and he wasn’t planning to stop avoiding them anytime soon.
Unfortunately for Aaron, that meant avoiding him, too.
Curran didn’t think that Aaron would tell his brother what was happening if he asked him not to, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it with anyone, let alone someone who was supposed to be on Birch’s side.
He couldn’t help but wonder how Birch would react when he found out about this mess.
Would he be happy? Curran wasn’t even sure that he was.
He had no idea how he was feeling, and he suspected that wouldn’t change until he had sure answers.
He knew what was happening. He just needed confirmation before he allowed himself to accept it.
He was relieved when he reached the infirmary. He could see a few dragons in the beds in the bigger room, but no one paid him any attention. He stared down at the acceptance desk, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. It wasn’t like the kind of tests he needed took a long time, right?
“Hi,” a voice said. “What can I help you with?”
Curran looked up to see Palmer standing there. He was wearing a white coat and a smile, and it took everything Curran had not to run. He knew that Palmer was friendly with both his brother and Marlin. He didn’t think the doctor would tell either of them what was happening, but how could he be sure?
“Curran, right?” Palmer asked. “Your brother talks about you a lot.”
Curran snorted. “I kind of want to ask what he says, but I’m not sure I should know.”
“Nothing bad, don’t worry. He loves you.”
Curran suddenly wanted to throw up again. “I love him, too.”
Palmer slowly nodded. “But you’re my patient, so you don’t have to worry. I won’t tell whatever happens today to anyone.”
It was a relief. “I didn’t think you would.”
“I’m not too sure about that, but it’s fine. Why don’t you follow me to one of the examination rooms? We can sit down, and you can tell me what’s going on.”
Curran licked his lips and followed Palmer out of the entrance and deeper into the infirmary. They bypassed the big room with the beds and walked into a smaller office to talk. Once the door was closed, Curran couldn’t hear any noise.
He sat down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk and waited for Palmer to sit in front of him, but he didn’t. Instead, he took a seat next to him and waited. Curran swallowed. This was harder than he’d expected. He didn’t know why since he was sure he knew what was going on.
“Take your time,” Palmer soothed.
He was a nice man, and Curran found himself hoping that something would happen between him and Deryn. Deryn deserved to have a nice man in his life.
“I think I need a pregnancy test,” Curran eventually said. They were the hardest words that ever crossed his lips.
Palmer didn’t look shocked or surprised. He nodded, his attention fully on Curran. “Can I ask why you think that?”
Curran wanted to laugh, but he didn’t. Palmer was human. He was training to help dragons as well as humans, but he hadn’t been here long. Besides, it was clear that he wasn’t mocking Curran. He was very professional.
“Well, I had unprotected sex the day of the party. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was fertile. It was pointed out to me the next morning.”
Palmer glanced at Curran’s stomach. “I see. You think you might be pregnant?”
“I’ve been feeling sick, so I’m pretty sure I am.”
“All right. We can do the test.”
“Thank you.”
Curran pretty much checked out after that.
He allowed Palmer to do whatever he felt was necessary without saying anything.
It was almost as if his body wasn’t his.
In a way, he wished it wasn’t. He didn’t want to deal with the consequences of what had happened.
He didn’t want to deal with any of this.
He’d thought about having children. Everyone in the clan had because before Killian had become king, they’d known they would be forced to have children.
The old king wanted the clan to be strong, and he’d thought he could obtain that by forcing its members to have children with someone he chose for them.
No one had wanted it, but it had been a given.
Curran had been relieved when Killian had taken his father’s place on the throne. He’d realized that he wouldn’t have to have kids yet. He’d stopped thinking about it then, but clearly, he shouldn’t have. Maybe he wouldn’t have found himself in this mess if he had.
Palmer eventually sat down next to him again. “I can confirm that you’re pregnant,” he said gently.
Curran closed his eyes. Of course he was. It was why he was here. “All right. Thank you.”
He started getting up, but Palmer stopped him. “Before you go, I want you to know that if you need anything, you can always find me here.”
“Thank you.”
Palmer hesitated. “Do I need to call someone who knows more about your anatomy than I do? If you didn’t want this, you need to be checked out.”
It took Curran a moment to understand what Palmer was saying. “You don’t have to worry about that. I wanted this to happen.”
“You didn’t want to get pregnant.”
“No, but it doesn’t mean someone forced me. I was just stupid and drunk, and I didn’t realize that I was fertile until it was too late.”
Thankfully, Palmer didn’t push. Curran was pretty sure he would’ve started screaming if the man had. He understood why Palmer had to ask the questions, but he still wanted the ground to swallow him.
“All right. Well, if you want to continue with the pregnancy, you’ll need to have regular checkups. I can make an appointment for you.”
“That would be great.” Curran didn’t know what he wanted. He’d forced himself not to think about it before he knew for sure, but now, he did, and he had a decision to make.
* * * *
MARLIN COULDN’T STOP thinking about Curran.
It had been a few weeks now, and usually, he was over his hookups in a few days, but Curran wasn’t just a hookup.
He was the guy Marlin had had a crush on for years.
He was Birch’s little brother—which was why Marlin had stayed away from him.
He’d never wanted to ruin things with Curran and Birch, and since he’d thought that Curran didn’t want him that way, it had been easy to keep his distance. Now, he wondered.
Curran had readily accepted when Marlin had offered himself up for a one-night stand. Maybe it had been the alcohol, or maybe it had been something else. Marlin wouldn’t know unless he asked Curran, which would be hard since Curran was very obviously avoiding him.
They didn’t usually spend a lot of time together. They saw each other over meals, but the entire clan saw each other there. Marlin had tried talking to Curran several times, but Curran always turned and left the dining hall. Marlin hadn’t wanted to push, but eventually, he would have to, right?
It was the only way he’d get answers. The last thing he wanted was to bother Curran, but could they really ignore what happened?
Did they want to ignore it? If it hadn’t been the alcohol, Curran had to feel something for Marlin, right?
But if he did, why wasn’t he talking to him? Why was he avoiding him?