Chapter Nine #2
Curran truly didn’t understand, but it was Marlin’s fault.
Even though they’d spent a night together, he’d never told Curran how he felt.
He’d hoped to have the opportunity to do so the morning after the party, but Curran had been gone by the time he’d woken up.
There hadn’t been an opportunity to talk, and considering Curran’s behavior since he’d found out about the baby, Marlin was pretty sure he was about to make a fool of himself, but he needed to know, if not for himself, for the baby.
If there was even one chance that they could be a real family, Marlin wanted to take it.
He wanted their child to see their parents together and happy.
He was scared, probably more than he’d ever been when it came to his personal life.
That wasn’t enough to stop him. He turned more fully toward Curran, who was still talking about him finding a partner, and he reached out to cup his cheek.
Curran stopped talking instantly and blinked at Marlin, a question clear in his gaze.
The only answer Marlin had for him was easier shown than said, so he leaned forward to press their lips together.
For a second, Curran didn’t react, and Marlin thought for sure he’d made a mistake. He was about to move back and apologize when Curran surged forward. He wrapped his arms around Marlin’s neck and hung on. Marlin grinned and kissed him harder, feeling smug when Curran moaned.
He didn’t know how long they kissed before Curran moved to climb into his lap.
He wanted more, and it was obvious that he wasn’t the only one.
He reached between them, marveling when his fingers brushed against the growing bump of Curran’s stomach.
He’d have time to dedicate to it later. For now, he wanted to touch more of Curran, so he went lower, but Curran caught his wrist and shook his head.
Marlin was confused for a moment, but of course he stopped. It was hard to resist reaching for Curran when he climbed off Marlin’s lap, though. Marlin had no idea what he’d done wrong, but he wanted to fix it.
“Look, I can’t do this,” Curran said.
Marlin’s stomach dropped. “You can’t do what?”
When Curran turned his eyes toward Marlin, Marlin could see the pain in his gaze, and he wanted to do everything in his power to take it away.
He was afraid that the only way to do so was to take a step back and give Curran more space.
* * * *
CURRAN WANTED TO CRAWL back into Marlin’s arms. He wanted so much more to happen.
He was also terrified that it would.
“I’m sorry. I just wouldn’t put it past my mothers to be out there, listening in.”
Marlin quickly glanced at the door. “Really? Why would they want to listen in on what just happened?”
“Oh, not on that, but they’d want to know what we decided.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier for them to ask?”
Curran snorted. He felt better now that there was some space between them. It was almost like they were back to the kind of relationship they’d had as Birch’s brother and his best friend. “You know my mothers. They won’t ever hesitate to spy on people to find out what they want to know.”
“That’s true. And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
This was it. Curran had a choice to make, and he had no idea which way to go.
He could tell Marlin that he had made him uncomfortable and that they should stop doing that.
It was what had gotten them into trouble to begin with.
If they weren’t going to be in a relationship, they needed to stop hooking up because it would make things messy—or messier than they already were, anyway.
But on the other hand, if this was all Curran could have of Marlin, he wasn’t sure he could give it up.
He didn’t know how long it would last, but it was better than nothing, right?
He could enjoy it as long as it lasted and take a step back once Marlin was done with him.
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to take a step back, but he also wasn’t sure he could give up having more of Marlin than he ever had before.
“It’s fine,” he eventually said. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. We already did it once, remember?”
Marlin’s gaze flickered down to Curran’s stomach.
Curran had to resist the urge to curl in over himself and try to hide.
Marlin knew about the baby. Hell, everyone in Curran’s life knew about the baby.
There was no reason for him to hide anymore.
He was just so used to it that it was instinct by now.
“So, you want me to be there when you lay the egg,” Marlin said as he reached over and took Curran’s hand.
He curled their fingers together and squeezed. Curran stared at their hands, wondering what the fuck was going on. It was almost as if they were a couple.
“Curran?”
Curran needed to stop losing focus. Marlin was here to talk about the baby, and that was what they both needed to focus on. “Yes, I do. You should be there for that.”
“I will be. You just have to let me know when you feel the first fits of pains, and I’ll tell Killian. Do you want anyone else there?”
“Like who?”
“Well, you said you didn’t want your mothers to be present, but maybe Birch or Aaron? Definitely Deryn, right?”
“Why would I want my brother to be there when I lay my first egg? I can’t think of anything worse.”
Marlin grimaced. “Sorry. I just thought I’d put it out there.”
“Well, you did, and you can take it back. I don’t want Birch to be there, and I’m not close enough to Aaron to be comfortable with him in the room when I lay the egg. It would be nice if Deryn could be there, but it’s fine if you’re not comfortable with it.”
“Why wouldn’t I be comfortable with it? He’s your best friend.”
“And you’re the baby’s father.”
“Which is why I’ll be there. Deryn and I can both be. I don’t think you can ever have enough support, especially in this kind of situation.”
Marlin was making it hard for Curran to try and forget his feelings for him. It was going to become even worse if they continued doing things like holding hands.
That still wasn’t enough for Curran to want to give it up. He squeezed Marlin’s hand harder. “I’d like for both you and Deryn to be there, and of course, Palmer.”
Marlin slowly nodded. “I’m not going to tell you that he shouldn’t be your doctor because I know you feel comfortable with him, but he’s human.”
“He is, but he’s learning about dragons and their anatomy, and he’s been helping me since I found out I was pregnant. I don’t want anyone else. I’m sure he’ll have help, and that’s fine, but I need him there.”
“Okay, I won’t argue against that. I just wanted to be sure it was what you wanted.”
“Well, it is.”
“I’d like to know how much you want me in your life right now.
I can leave you alone if that’s what you want, but I’d like to take care of you.
And before you say that you don’t need anyone taking care of you or keeping an eye on you, I know.
That’s not what this is. I want to take care of you because you’re pregnant with my child and because you deserve to be taken care of.
I know Birch and I can be overbearing, but I’d like to be there for you in any way you want me to be.
Just keep that in mind when you need anything, right?
You have my number. Call it whenever you want, even if it’s the middle of the night.
Ask for whatever you need. If it’s in my power, I’ll give it to you. ”
“Right now, what I want is a hug,” Curran blurted out.
Marlin didn’t even hesitate. He grinned and pulled his hand away from Curran’s to open his arms wide. Curran pressed close and sighed as he closed his eyes.
This was part of what he wanted. The sex had been great, just like the kiss just now, but he wanted more from Marlin. He wanted cuddles and intimacy. He wanted them to be there for each other, to be a team. He wanted them to be partners, not only co-parents.
It was a dream, and while it might not come true, this was nice, too, for as long as it lasted.