CHAPTER 32 #2
“I know.” Zara rubbed her face with her hands.
“And everything I did after that was wrong. I can blame Cassia because, yes, there’s a definite pull there, and it’s very intense, but it was still me.
I wanted to be with you, and I hated Iro because you seemed to fall for her after thirty seconds, and I’ve been here for ten years, and you couldn’t even see me. ”
“I always saw you, Zara. Not as someone I could fall in love with, but as my best friend I would have gone through anything with.”
“I know. I know you might not ever forgive me – and not ever is a very long time for us now – but I wanted you to understand why I helped her.”
“What happened today? Did you set me up to be turned into a vampire, Zara?”
“No,” she insisted. “She just told me to make sure you didn’t know that I was a vampire and that she was going to get Iro back.
I was thinking you and I would be friends for a while, and maybe one day, I could tell you how I felt and see how that goes.
That was it, Arwen. When you went to the bathroom, Cassia sat down at the table.
As soon as she told me what was happening, I ran.
I got in my car and went to Iro as quickly as I could.
I told her what I did and that Cassia had you.
Then, I had to hide because Cassia sent Gigi after me. ”
“Gigi…”
“Yeah. Iro killed her, and–”
“Iro did what?”
“She didn’t tell you?”
“No,” Arwen replied.
“She killed her. I think Gigi would’ve killed you, Arwen.
She wanted Iro dead as well. I could tell she was in love with Cassia, and Iro stood between her and what she wanted.
She could’ve killed you to make Iro miserable and then killed Iro or something.
I don’t know, but Iro did what she had to do.
Then, she sent me to the office and went to get you.
I’d been sitting in that room ever since, thinking I’d gotten you killed and trying to figure out what to do.
Iro called me and told me you weren’t dead but that you were like me now right before you got to the office. ”
“Zara, did you kill anyone?”
“Yes,” she admitted and looked down. “Well, turned. They’re not dead. One was an accident. I honestly don’t know how it happened. I did what Cassia told me to do, so I could just take enough, and–”
“What?” Arwen asked.
“It wasn’t me,” Zara said and realized at the same time. “Son of a bitch. She set me up.”
“Who?”
“Cassia. She wanted me to think I had made her, when I didn’t. I listened to Cassia when she told me to stop. I know I did. She was fine, and then–” Zara stopped again.
“And then what?”
“Well, being a vampire means you want two things over everything else.”
“Sex and blood?”
“Yes.”
“Oh,” Arwen said, realizing it now.
“Yeah…”
“You slept with Cassia?”
“Yes. Other women, too. But I don’t think I was the one who turned that woman. I didn’t drain enough. I think Cassia did it to make me think that I screwed up so that I would need her help.”
“I know very little about her, but that’s unsurprising.”
“There was one more, but she wanted it.”
“To be turned?”
“Yes. I asked her more than once to make sure. She’d been there as someone who willingly let us feed from her. She wanted it, Arwen, I swear.”
“So did you, I imagine.”
“What do you mean?”
“It sounds like you’ve really enjoyed being a vampire since you turned, Zara.”
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, yes, but Arwen, the moment I realized you were really in trouble, I ran. I’m sorry I was too late. I never should’ve agreed to help her in the first place. I should’ve died with dignity instead of what I did.”
“Then, you wouldn’t have been here in a few months, and I’d be without my best friend.”
“I’m still your–”
“Not right now. But as you pointed out, we’re going to live for a long time. I imagine, one day, I’ll forgive you. I’m just not there yet, Zara. I can’t even look at Iro right now.”
“What? Why not?”
“I can’t stop thinking about how she did this to me.”
“But she didn’t. Cassia did. I did.”
“Had we never met…”
“But you love her, Arwen.”
Arwen sighed.
“She loves you,” Zara added.
“I know. She told me. But what am I supposed to do? Pack up and leave?”
“Why would you do that?”
“She said you have to leave every so often because you don’t age.”
“Yeah, but not tomorrow. You’re right in the middle of your thirties. You could pass for late twenties or forties if you had to.”
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or a dig.”
Zara laughed a little and said, “It’s a good thing, I think. You and Iro can probably stay here for at least another decade and be okay.”
“Ten years? Zara, I never planned on leaving DC.”
“I know. Me neither. Here we are, though, and like it or not, Arwen, you don’t want to lose Iro.
You’re upset because of the situation, but you have to know she never wanted this for you.
If she had, she would’ve turned you herself, but she hadn’t.
She went to get you so that Cassia couldn’t.
She was just too late. And that is more my fault than hers. ”
“I don’t know what to do,” Arwen said.
“You go back to her. Maybe not tonight, and maybe not tomorrow, but when you’re ready.
You go back to her, and you talk. You tell her how you feel, and you two figure this out.
Arwen, I don’t fully understand it myself.
I know I love you, but I saw you two that night, and there was something else there; another level of love that I don’t suspect everyone gets in their life. And you can have that forever.”
“She and Cassia couldn’t survive three hundred years.”
“Cassia is evil, a narcissist. She might be the most selfish person to ever walk the face of the earth, I suspect. Iro isn’t like that in any way.
She pulled away from Cassia because of that.
I hate to say this because I know it means I’ll never…
Iro is good, Arwen. She’s good for you, and she might be the one you’ve been waiting for, the one you can spend a true eternity with.
Cassia doesn’t deserve anything good. Wait…
What happened to her, by the way? Iro didn’t tell me. ”
“Oh, there’s a story.”