6. Lennon #2
Heading left is a row of clothing stores and business offices. To the right, there's a bakery and cake store and an old-fashioned hardware store that sells building materials to both trade and the general public.
I take a second to consider where Grace would go first, then decide to check the bakery and cake store first because she likes cakes and it's her lunchtime. She might have gotten hungry and instead of coming to ask me, decided to sneak off and find treats on her own.
I enter the store and hear, "Good afternoon, sir. How may I—" Then the sentence cuts off abruptly and the attendant's smile disappears as she sees my face, the rage and anger barely contained within me.
"Did a little girl walk in here? Blonde hair, pink dress, aged four, coming up to five." I demand, and she shakes her head silently.
I give the room one quick scan—empty—and head back out. I continue down Old German Street, my neck twisting around as I jog, ear and eyes straining for the slightest clue.
"Grace!" I cry out and a couple of people on the sidewalk look at me in alarm, but I ignore them. "Grace, where are you?"
I duck into what looks to be a bridal store. There's a party of young women who are laughing amongst themselves, one of them in a wedding dress. All laughter ceases the minute I walk in.
"I'm looking for a little girl, four or five years old, about so high." I use my hand to show them Grace's approximate height. "Have you seen her?"
"No," they all shake their heads and I leave before they can give any further reaction. I try my luck with two more stores, feeling my panic ever growing, escaping its bonds and seeping into my mind.
She's gone , an insidious voice croons. Some bastard has her and she's gone forever.
"Gra—" My shout ceases mid-cry, as I spot my daughter skipping happily out of an ice cream store across the street, a huge ice cream cone in one hand, and looking as relaxed and carefree as ever, for all the world as if nothing had happened.
As if she hadn't gone off and left her father in a totally different store almost a block further up the street.
Her other hand is holding onto the hand of a woman who is smiling down at her.
That woman looks familiar...
Of course! It's our pretty new neighbor, and just as I recognize who it is, I see her squat to talk to Grace, handing her a tissue to catch the melting ice cream that's running down her hand. Grace licks her cone and blinks up at her with her big, blue eyes.
Relief flushes through my system but it doesn't last. All my anger, my worry, my panic... it all curls into a tight ball, and it comes out in a ragged growl.
Before I know it, I'm storming across the street and yelling, "What the fuck do you think you're doing with my daughter?"
Both girl and woman freeze. The woman's eyes snap to me, the smile draining from her lips, apprehension appearing in her gaze. Of course, my little girl only grins up at me and cautions, "Language Daddy."
"Grace, come here," I order, and she lets go of the woman's hand, trotting over to take my hand instead. The woman straightens slowly.
"She's your daughter?" She attempts a smile. "Well, that's a relief. I was trying to figure out where she came from."
"For how long? Because you apparently had time to buy ice cream."
"She couldn't remember which store she'd come from. I thought if I bought her an ice cream it might give her some time for her to remember or at least keep her happy whilst we looked for her parents."
I close my eyes and inhale through my nose, to control the anger spiraling out of control.
"Next time you see a lost child your job is to find their parent as fast as possible, not to buy the child goddamn ice creams. Understood?"
Temper sparks in her eyes. "But that's exactly what I was trying to do."
"Next time, do it faster or you'll end up being charged with kidnapping." I pick Grace up in my arms and turn away, hearing the woman's indignant gasp behind me.
Belatedly, when I'm a few paces away, I realize that I was being a bit unfair to her, and that most likely she was simply telling me the truth. But when I look down at my darling daughter, safe beside me, it doesn't seem to matter.
I clutch her close and her small arms wrap around my neck. I cannot help but think of all the things that could have happened to her, all the truly horrific ways this story could have ended.
I pause and draw back to stare at her face. She stares right back at me as she takes another huge swipe of her ice cream with her tongue.
"Don't do that again, alright?" I tell her seriously. "Don't run off without telling me. Daddy was so scared… so terrified something had happened to you. Don't make Daddy scared like that again, honeybunny. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if anything happened to you."
She thinks about it and nods tentatively. Then she points in the direction of the clothes store. "Princess dress, Daddy?"
I sigh. Despite her bad behavior, I've never been able to turn my daughter down.
Dean says I spoil her. Maybe that's why she's so naughty at times.
But on the other hand, she doesn't have a mom, she's only got me, and I know only too well what a failure I am as a father.
Sure, I love her to pieces. I love her more than anything.
But I haven't got a clue how to bring up a little girl on my own.
And maybe if I had more money for expensive treatments, maybe we could have saved Georgia.
The Lord knows how. I know nothing at all about medical stuff.
Not a clue. But nevertheless, things might have turned out different.
So yeah, I spoil the child. With all she has to put up with, she deserves it.
When we get back to Tammy's Fashion Parlor, the store attendant is damned near to tears.
She rushes up to us and apologizes profusely, but now that my anger has calmed down somewhat, I can finally smile enough to soothe her.
"It's fine. Grace can be adventurous sometimes and I'm happy I found her in time. "
"Well, I am very relieved she's okay." Then she turns to Grace "Let's go and finish choosing that birthday dress, shall we? Do you like the one you’re wearing, or do you want to try another one?"
Grace nods excitedly and taking the store assistant's hand, she skips happily towards the dressing rooms for all the world as if nothing had happened.
It takes another fifteen minutes or so to wrap up at the store, and in that time I finally manage to get Reed to send me a sensible table that contains the information I need. After I tally up the numbers on my phone, I take my daughter to grab lunch, after which we head home.
Grace promptly passes out in the back seat, as she often does in moving vehicles, and I glance at her through the rearview mirror, secure in her special child seat, telling myself it's to check if she's sleeping, but really it's to reassure myself she's still here, still with me.
I finally allow myself to relax and I begin to breathe more normally again, the tension from all the stress of the last hour beginning to leave me.
I survey the other emotions plaguing me.
The most prominent one is regret. I'm feeling guilty, because now I am calmer, I realize how badly I've treated our new neighbor.
I sigh. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have yelled at her like that. My tumultuous emotions were motivated by fear... but if I am honest, also by attraction. Fuck: when she’d smiled at me, something actually tugged in my heart.
Something I haven't felt in years. Nothing has done that since my wife died, and it scares me because my strong attraction to Hailey means that I'm forgetting about Georgia, and I promised Georgia on her grave that I would never be with any other woman but her.
I glance at our daughter again, sleeping like an angel on the back seat. Sometimes I've been tempted to try to find another woman to marry, to give my daughter a mother. But I could never go through with it. I remember Georgia and get heartsick at the thought of betraying her like that.
Yet I forgot all about my promises to Georgia, today when Hailey smiled at me. How pathetic.
I need to stay away from her. For my own good and hers.