Chapter 17 Insidious #2
“He insisted I take the boys on my own. I didn’t think it was a good idea, at eleven and twelve, the older boys never listened to me, but Gary insisted it would be good for our relationship.
” I huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “He said I had to try harder to bond with them. Jakey had just turned seven, and his older brothers intimidated him. They were loud and confident and brash where he’d always been quiet.
He tried to be tougher when they were around, including that day, but every now and then he’d slip his hand into mine and give me a squeeze.
“I was so happy,” I whispered.
This time, I allowed my tears to flow freely. He deserved every single one. My body began to quake as if it was happening anew.
That day, the sun beat down mercilessly and the line-ups for drinks and ice cream were ridiculous. We’d already been waiting for twenty minutes when Alan tugged on my sleeve.
“Bridge, can we go on the paddle boats?”
Keith’s face lit up with interest, the first he’d shown since we’d arrived.
I shaded my eyes against the sun and looked in the direction they were pointing. “Are you tall enough? We can go after we get ice cream.” I dipped down to talk to Jakey. “Do you want to go on the paddle boats?”
He shook his head, stepping slightly behind me.
Keith snorted. “We’re old enough to go on our own, Bridge.”
I hesitated, then looked at Alan, the younger of the two. “You’ll behave? Follow the rules?”
Keith put his brother in a headlock. “We’ll be fine.”
As he started down the path to the paddleboats, Alan’s neck under his arm, I called after them, “Be good! Listen!”
Keith waved a hand over his head in a dismissive manner that reminded me far too much of his father.
Biting my lip, I looked down at Jakey. “You want to go watch them?”
He smiled and nodded his head, swinging my hand back and forth between us.
We were edging closer to the front of the line. Could I trust those two to behave for ten minutes without me?
Once again, I shaded my eyes with my hand. As soon as I spied Keith and Alan standing sedately, or as sedately as those two could get, in line, my shoulders relaxed.
“Your big brothers are a bit crazy sometimes, hm?”
“Sometimes.” He paused. “Sometimes they’re nice and let me play with them.”
My eyebrows went up. “Yeah? That’s good, what do you play?”
Jakey told me about the video games they played as I ordered, none of which sounded appropriate for a seven-year-old boy, but I held my tongue.
And took my eye off the ball.
I whipped my head around at the sound of high-pitched, furious shouting.
The woman at the paddleboats was gesturing and waving at the water. I followed her line of sight to find Keith and Alan in two separate paddleboats.”
Kian’s voice brought me back to the present. “Oh no,” Kian breathed, rubbing a big hand over my back. “Tell me they didn’t turn it into a game of bumper cars.”
“They did.”
He chuckled.
“It’s not funny,” I snapped, pushing his chest back.
“The park called security on them and the woman in charge of the paddleboats was screaming at me. I ran to the side and ordered the boys to come to the dock.” My teeth chattered.
“They just laughed and everything escalated so quickly. Jakey was always sensitive. The chaos was too much for him and he hid.”
“You couldn’t find him,” Kian surmised, loosening his hold on me.
I shook my head. “I couldn’t find him.” My hands began to shake. I gripped his arms. “I thought someone had taken him.”
Kian wrapped his arms around me tightly. “I’m sorry your ex made you doubt yourself. You would have been a wonderful mother to them. I know because I see how you are with Isaiah. They were lucky to have you.”
“They jumped off and swam for the dock when they realized Jakey was missing.”
“Aw, fuck,” Kian muttered.
“Where is he? How could you lose him?” Keith sputtered, his face pale and dripping from his dunking in the pond.
Beside him, equally as wet, Alan began to cry.
“Ma’am, is this your son?”
I spun around to find Jakey holding the hand of a young security guard. I dropped to my knees and hugged him tightly, my heart beating in my throat.
“You’ll have to leave the park, ma’am.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded tightly. “No problem.”
Nothing mattered except Jakey being safe, and I couldn’t wait to get home.
I spared a glance at the hellions beside me. Their father would have an unholy fit if we got his car wet. “C’mon, boys. We’ll go to the park just outside the gates until you dry off, then we’re heading home.”
I pulled myself out of the past and wrapped my arms around Kian. “Keith fell off the monkey bars and broke his arm.”
“Fuck, Bridget. The little shits really put you through the wringer.”
“They did.” My cheeks burned shamefully at the memory.
“Gary met us at the hospital and sent me home with the other two. When he got home, he ranted for hours. If I couldn’t handle them on a simple outing, I shouldn’t expect to handle them at all.
” I swallowed. “More than anything, he was furious it interrupted Keith’s baseball season.
Two weeks later, Gary sent Jakey to live with his mother. ”
For the longest time, Kian said nothing.
But the fury vibrating in his chest and rolling off him in waves soothed me in a way nothing else ever had.
Finally, he spoke. “That’s it? That’s his big proof?
” He scoffed. “Bridget, he gaslighted you. My brothers and I put my parents through far worse than that.” Huffing out a harsh laugh, he continued, “That’s how boys are.
Bloody feral. The lot of them.” He shook his head.
“And they need to be. They need to test their limits, challenge their strengths, fuck around and find out where their will bumps up against the world.”
I looked at him with hope in my heart. “You think so?”
His handsome face twisted with grief now halved as he cupped my face in his hands. “Aw, baby,” he murmured. “I know so. He never should have taken Jakey away from you.”
I covered his hands with mine and nodded, searching his eyes for the truth. His truth, not Gary’s.
“It was cruel.” He shook his head. “Incredibly abusive. To both of you.”
I began to nod though I wasn’t sure I believed him yet.
His mouth twisted to the side. “Did I ever tell you about the time I lost Isaiah at an airport?”
I shook my head.
“I let go of his hand to put our passports away. I dropped one. By the time I’d bent to pick it up and got them both tucked away, he was gone.”
“Did you call security?”
He smiled wryly though his eyes remained sad.
Sad for me.
I breathed deep.
“Shut down the whole airport and grounded two flights,” he admitted.
I laughed then sobered.
Hazel eyes delved into mine. “You tossed every other lie that prick threw at you back in his face. You can do the same with this one.”
“But Isaiah, at the park, the monkey bars—”
He shook his head sharply. “You think that’s the first time he’s climbed that thing?”
“He said you stand underneath it.”
He nodded. “Most of the time, I do. But the last couple of times? He did it on his own. Kids need room to explore, Bridge. Those kids?” His dark brows rose as he steadily met my eyes.
“Normal kids trying to get away with shit. The truth is, if their father had taught them to respect you, maybe they wouldn’t have tried to pull that stunt.
If it’s anyone’s fault, and I’m not convinced it is, it would be his. ”
There are times the fog of our own pain and the sting of self-recrimination blur the edges of reason. In those times, we need another to give us clarity.
With one sentence, Kian cut through all of Gary’s bullshit to lay bare the truth. My eyes skittered back and forth between his until it sunk in.
“Thank you.”