Chapter 22 #2
against her already tight nipples, she gasped with pleasure.
He immediately drew back.
“You’re trying to seduce me,” he said, his tone more curious than intrigued.
“I am, and it seems to be working.” She rocked a little, bringing her crotch into contact with his growing erection, then
bent over so she could whisper in his ear. “I agree, by the way.”
When she straightened, he met her gaze. “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
She stared at him for a second, slid off his lap and glared at him. “Why not? You’re hard, so you obviously want to. I’m right
here, all sexy and available. What’s wrong with you?”
“I like you. I want to go out with you. I don’t want to be some guy you use to get off.”
“You’d be getting off, too,” she grumbled. “And don’t you have sex with the women you date?”
“Yes, but that’s not the only reason I want to be with them. If we have sex before you agree to go out with me, then what
we have won’t be any more than that.”
They didn’t have anything, she thought, hop-stomping away. “That is just so stupid. What part of I don’t do relationships is unclear to you? I did it once, and I didn’t like the outcome.”
“I’m not that guy.”
“You’re all that guy.”
He followed her into the living room and moved in front of her. “I’m not that guy,” he repeated slowly. “I would never hurt
you like that.”
“You’re right. You’d hurt me in a new way, and wouldn’t that be great?”
“What if I didn’t hurt you at all? Of the two of us, don’t you think you’re the one with the greater ability to pull off a
vendetta? You have mad skills. You could kill me with a toothpick.”
Despite her annoyance, she smiled. “You’re confusing me with a spy. I do stunt work, I don’t kill people.”
“Only because you haven’t set your mind to it.”
“You’re a real pain in my ass. You know that, right?”
He nodded. “I do, and I really like you a lot. Go out with me.”
“I don’t date.” She’d meant the words to come out defiantly, but instead they were barely a whisper.
He leaned in and kissed her. “I get it. You’re still scared. That’s okay. I’ll wait.”
She wanted to ask for how long but was too afraid of the answer. Because a guy like Javiar could have his pick of women. He
was good-looking, funny, smart and sexy. There wasn’t a whole lot of bad there. Eventually he would get tired of pursuing
her and go find someone who wanted what he wanted. And then she would be alone. Which was what she wanted, she reminded herself.
Only, suddenly thinking that sounded a lot more lonely than it had.
Shannon accepted she was a horrible person. There was no other explanation for her unwillingness to tell her mother, who she
loved, that she was engaged. She’d already waited too long, which created another problem. Her uncomfortable encounter with
Ava had made her see that not telling her mom was so unfair and mean. She had to come clean without delay.
The decision made, she drove from the printers to the bridal shop where she would meet her mom for her appointment.
Cindy wanted to show her the dress she’d found when she’d gone shopping with Victoria and maybe try on a few others.
It was the perfect time to tell her about Aaron.
They could hug and laugh and maybe cry, then have the fashion show.
Shannon felt both better and worse for having made the decision. When she arrived, she went inside, only to be overwhelmed
by all things wedding. There were gowns everywhere—both on mannequins and in photographs on the wall. There were veil displays
and a selection of every possible kind of white shoe from high-heeled designer pumps to cute ballet flats and blinged-out
athletic shoes. The lighting was subtle, the music quiet. Everything about the store screamed elegance.
As Shannon looked around, she felt an odd whooshing sensation in her stomach—as if her nervous system had suddenly gone into
fight or flight. Her chest got a little tight and she was having trouble catching her breath. She felt out of place and had
the strangest urge to bolt. Just then her mother rushed into the store.
“You’re here!” Cindy hugged her tight. “I’m so excited. I could barely sleep last night. Isn’t this fun? Don’t you love the
store? Everything is so beautiful.”
“It’s great,” Shannon managed, wondering what was wrong with her. It was a bridal shop, and she was engaged. Shouldn’t this
be her fantasy morning?
Just then an older woman approached. “Cindy, hello. Ready to try on more dresses?”
“I am.” Her mom smiled at her. “I love the dress I found with Victoria, but I need your thoughts, and I’m going to try on
a few others, just to be sure.”
“I have everything ready.” Angelina turned to Shannon. “Did you want to try on a few dresses today?”
What? “No. This is about my mom.”
“No one special in your life?” the salesperson asked teasingly.
“Oh, there’s a special man,” Cindy said. “Aaron. We all adore him. Now, if we could just figure out a way to get him to pop
the question.” She laughed. “I keep telling Shannon I want us to have a double wedding, but so far it’s not happening.”
“A double wedding? With your daughter?” Angelina looked startled. “That would be, ah, interesting.”
“Oh, I’m just teasing.” Cindy grinned at Shannon. “Mostly.” She hugged her again. “Let’s get going on this. Oh, and, honey,
I know you’re not engaged or anything, but we’re here. Please try on something. Oh, I know. The princess dress I’ve been dreaming
of. It looked terrible on me, but I’d love to see you in it.”
Shannon was still struggling with her unexpected reaction to some kind of weird semi-panic attack. Her chest hurt, and she
felt faintly nauseous. Before she knew what was happening, she was in a dressing room and Angelina was hanging several gorgeous
gowns on a rack.
When she was alone, she stared at herself in the mirror. “Just tell her,” she whispered to her reflection. But even as she
said the words, she felt her resolve fading away. Her mom was so happy about the dresses. Yes, learning about her engagement
would probably delight Cindy, but the announcement would also take away from the moment. Shouldn’t she let her mom just enjoy
what was happening without distraction?
Not sure if she was being selfless or cowardly, although fairly sure it was the latter, she slipped off the chain holding
her engagement ring and dropped it into her bag, then reached for the first dress. A few minutes later Angelina knocked on
the door, then entered to help her with the buttons.
“You look beautiful, my dear. The style suits you.”
Shannon had to admit the dress was wedding-worthy. The lace-covered, tank-style bodice was fitted to the waist before flaring
out into a full skirt that cascaded to the floor. Panels of lace gave the gown movement, even when she was still. The pure
white made her skin glow. Even without makeup or her hair done, she recognized she looked amazing.
Angelina finished with the buttons. The dress was a little big, so she clipped the back to make it fit better.
“The dress you’ve always dreamed about?” the other woman asked.
“I’m not a dress-dreamer kind of person, but it looks wonderful.”
“Your mother’s ready. Come see what she picked out.”
Shannon picked up the heavy skirt and made her way to the main viewing area. Cindy was already up on the dais, in a more fitted,
off-the-shoulder gown that looked as if it had been made from spun silver. The simple style accentuated her height and her
figure and made her look like a queen.
“Oh, Mom, you’re so beautiful. Is that the dress you tried on before? It looks fantastic on you. The pictures you sent me
didn’t tell the whole story.”
Cindy rushed toward her, eyes filling with tears. “Oh, my baby girl. Look at you!” They hugged. “This is what I wanted,” her
mother continued. “We’ve always done everything together and now we’re trying on dresses.”
She took the tissue Angelina handed her, then sniffed. “All right. I’m done being emotional. Now get up on the dais and let
me see you.”
“Mom, you go first. You’re the bride.”
“All right. I’m so happy. I’ll try on a few other dresses just to be sure, but I can’t imagine any of them looking better
than this one.”
Cindy stepped up in front of the half circle of tall mirrors. Joy radiated from her as she moved and preened and smiled. Everything
about the dress worked, Shannon thought, pleased for her mom. She looked amazing, she was happy and the style would suit the
low-key wedding her mom wanted. There was no bad here.
When it was her turn, Shannon stepped up in front of the mirrors. Angelina brought her a pair of heels to try with the dress.
Cindy fussed with the skirt a little, then pressed her hands together.
“You look perfect.”
Shannon stared at herself, trying to figure out why she didn’t look as happy as her mother had. She was engaged to the man
of her dreams and trying on a wedding dress that looked great on her. Shouldn’t this be a seminal moment in her life? Only
she couldn’t help thinking she didn’t want the big fuss of the kind of wedding this dress would require. In her mind, she
saw herself married to Aaron, not getting married to him. When she thought about the ceremony, it was outdoors, somewhere
pretty, and she was wearing the dress she saw on . There was no event, no caterer, no hundreds of guests watching. The
irony of the moment wasn’t lost on her. She didn’t know what to do about her career and couldn’t seem to find the courage
to tell her mom about the engagement, but she knew what she wanted her wedding to be, down to the lack of formality and absence
of Save the Date cards.
Without wanting to, she remembered Ava’s harsh question about what she brought to the table in her relationship with Aaron.
He had his life planned out. He had his business, and he wanted to marry her. Eventually they would start a family and grow
old together. While she agreed with the latter, she wasn’t clear on the rest of it. What did she want for herself beyond marrying
him? And if she didn’t know, was she really doing the right thing in accepting his proposal? Didn’t Aaron deserve someone
who was clear on where they were going? And if he did, where exactly did that leave her?