Chapter Twenty-Six Adam
“W ell, I guess that explains why she was getting so fat,” Mateo laughed as he conversed with the neighbor. “I guess I know what she was doing when she was sneaking out all the time too, the little hussy.”
“I’m sorry,” his neighbor chuckled. “When I saw the two of them playing together, I thought she was fixed so I didn’t think much of it. I guess maybe I should’ve kept them apart.”
All three of us were standing on the back patio of the neighbor’s condo. The rain had stopped and while Adam and I were still soaked, the newly revealed sun warmed us through pretty quickly.I stood a couple feet away with my gaze pointed back at the shed. There Bessie laid in a nest of fresh blankets with her nine pups. Next to her sat a large black German Shepherd, looking just as proud as he could. Both of them stared down at their pups. Four of them were gold, four were black, and one was a mottled mixture of both.
In the time it took to get the neighbor and the blankets, Bessie had licked the pups clean. An act which I found horribly disgusting. But now that they looked like puppies and not wet, sticky little gremlins, they were sort of cute. And all of them were suckling away, fighting each other over who got which nipple. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it was probably the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. The whole dog thing was really starting to grow on me.
Despite the cuteness and the feeling of relief that everything way okay, I was beginning to grow anxious. Seeing Mateo again was the last thing I wanted to do and the more time I spent around him, the more I felt like I’d be forced to explain myself about why I was going home. As much as it hurt to think about leaving, I still didn’t want to tell him everything I’d been feeling. Especially when he didn’t feel that way about me.
Then again, in his moment of need, he’d called me instead of talking to his neighbors that were much more available. He chose me over everyone else to help him. That had to mean something, right? It wasn’t just about convenience anymore. There had to be something more going on.
Maybe… Maybe we needed to talk after all.
“Well,” Mateo said at last. “Do you mind if I leave her here for the moment? Just so she can rest. And I’m not really prepared to have puppies, so I need to get some things.”
“That’s fine,” the neighbor replied. “I’ll keep an eye on all of them while you get things situated.” He paused. “Besides, I might want to keep one if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course! I can’t have ten dogs in my condo! The pups will have to go eventually either way. So just let me know which one you want and when they’re ready, I’ll bring it over.”
“Sounds good. Let me know if I can help with puppy food and stuff too. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thanks. I will.” Mateo turned in my direction. “Adam? Can you take me back to the house?”
“Y-Yeah,” I murmured, shaking myself out of my thoughts. “Of course.”
I took his arm and we both waived goodbye as we headed back to his condo. Our shoes squelched against the pavement, the water having soaked them all the way through. But I ignored it. I was too busy trying to figure out what I was going to say to him. However, not a word was spoken until we were inside the house and the door was shut behind us.
“Mateo,” I said, not willing to waste another moment. The words were clawing at my throat, begging to get out. “I have to know something. Why… Why did you call me ?”
He glanced up at me, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“You could’ve asked literally anyone else. All of your neighbors adore you and they’re much closer than I was.” I reached out and took his hand, my own shaking. “So, I want to know… Why me?”
There was a long moment of silence, nothing but the sound of my own heart beating to keep me company. His eyes darted to the side, and he bit his lower lip, like he was battling with himself. Clearly, he wanted to say something to me, and I braced myself, terrified to hear what it was.
When he pulled his hand away from me, I felt my heart drop. But as he reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck, it sped up once more. I stared at him, trying to figure out what was going on. But his expression confused me. He was nervous and so was I. But why were we acting so odd? A few days ago, we had all the comfortable trappings of familiarity between us. And now… now there was something else. A hesitation and a fear that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Then, without a word, he leaned up on his tip toes and pressed his lips to mine.
The whole world around me stopped. Time came to a standstill as I felt him press against me. My body stiffened and for the smallest of moments I had the thought that I should pull away. That I was leaving, and this wasn’t going to help either of us. It would only make the separation hurt worse.
And I didn’t know the truth. Was he kissing me because he merely enjoyed it or was he doing it because he cared?
Could it be both ?
Finally, my body could no longer resist him. Throwing caution and questions to the wind, I leaned into it, opening my mouth and letting him inside. The world tilted around me as we kissed, the pair of us flushed with passion. I don’t know how much time passed before we finally pulled apart. But when we did, both of us were breathless.
“Does… Does that answer your question?” Mateo asked, staring up at me with his hands still around my neck.
“N-No,” I replied honestly.
“It means I don’t want you to leave.”
“Why?”
Mateo grinned, shaking his head. “Because I love you, you idiot.”
My heart nearly stopped in my chest and cold shock filled my body. “W-What? How long?”
“Since that night you described the sunset to me,” he smiled. “I knew then.”
“But… why didn’t you say anything?”
“Would it have mattered?” he asked, his face falling. “You’re leaving and you made it pretty clear you wanted to keep things casual between us.” He glanced down at the floor, his hands falling to his sides. “I figured that liking you too much was pushing you away. I thought I’d have to let you leave without telling you.” He shook his head. “But I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Adam. Don’t stay here just because I said something. You deserve to go out and make the life you want. I just wanted you to know.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Mateo had been in love with me for over a week and he never said a word.
“But… I was afraid that you wanted to keep things casual,” I said at last, tears threatening already. “I was terrified that if I told you how I felt, you’d push me away.”
Mateo looked up. “How do you feel about me?”
“I… I love you too…”
He smiled and then he started to laugh. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I just told you!”
“Well, I was too afraid to say it out loud, so I tried to do stuff for you, and you got all upset! I thought if I showed you how I felt instead of said it, you might warm up to the idea faster!” I had so many emotions threatening to overwhelm me that I had to take a step back. “Why did you push me away?”
Mateo sighed, reaching out and taking my hand. “I wasn’t trying to push you away, Adam. I promise. I’m sorry if it came across that way but I’m just as bad at doing the relationship thing as you are. This has been a lot of practice for me too.” He lifted my hand to his lips, giving it a kiss. “I asked you to back off because I need to maintain my independence. After my accident everyone tried to baby me. They thought I couldn’t do anything for myself because I was blind. It took me years to convince my parents to let me live alone! And then you started doing everything for me and a decade’s worth of fighting and irritation came bubbling to the surface.” He paused, blowing out a sigh. “And I’m sorry. That anger I felt… that wasn’t about you . It was unfair of me to snap at you like that. I’m so sorry.”
I bit the inside of my cheek as I stared at him, mulling it all over. “I… I understand,” I replied at last. “And I don’t blame you. Like you said, we both need practice at this. I’ve never gotten far enough with a guy to feel this way before. I find myself wanting to do things for you to show I care. Whether it’s sex or dishes or whatever. I just want you to know that… well, that I love you, Mateo.”
“Maybe that’s what everyone else has been trying to do too,” he nodded. “And I made the same mistake with them. It’s just… it’s stifling sometimes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. I was the one who didn’t explain, and I should have.” He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Maybe we can find a balance between independence and care.” He buried his face against my wet shirt. “If you want to stay, that is.”
I threw my arms around him, pulling him tight against me. “My mom is gonna be really annoyed about this.”
Mateo tensed underneath me. “So… you… you’re gonna stay?”
“Of course I’m gonna stay!” I reached down, grabbing Mateo by the chin and forcing our lips together. “I found the love of my life! Why would I leave?!”
“You really mean that?”
“I do.”
“And you don’t mind the dog?”
“Not at all. Bessie is wonderful.” I paused for a moment. “But I do have one condition.”
Mateo smiled, kissing me again. “Anything, you name it and you can have it.”
“I wanna keep the black and gold puppy.”
His smile widened. “It’s yours.” He kissed me again, all the love and passion I could ever hope for exchanged in the heat between us. “I love you so much, Adam.”
“I love you too, Mateo.” I grinned against his lips. “And your little dog too.”