Chapter 1
Esther
“No way,” I blurted, staring out the front windshield of my cousin’s car. “My parents will kill me. Your parents will ground you, mine will actually commit murder.”
“They will not,” my cousin Becka snorted. “They’ll never find out.”
“See, that’s the difference,” I argued, pointing at her. “My parents always find out. You can just do what you want willy-nilly—”
“Willy-nilly?” she murmured incredulously. I ignored her.
“—and your parents never find out. But mine have a radar or something. It’s like they can smell it on me when I do something wrong.”
“You’re nineteen years old! There’s nothing wrong with stopping by a little party. It’s not like anyone’s going to force you to drink.”
“They have alcohol?” I hissed, looking back out the windshield where small groups of people were illuminated around a large bonfire.
“Oh, my god,” Becka muttered, slamming her head dramatically against the headrest. “Just twenty minutes. Okay? I said we’d stop by.”
“Why would you say that? I told you I’d go for ice cream.” My voice was flat. “Do they have ice cream here? Because I highly doubt it.”
Becka’s lips twitched as she fought a smile. “They might.”
I glared while she looked at me imploringly.
It was the same old story. Becka had been getting me into trouble since we could walk.
Even though I was the older of us by two months, she had always been the more adventurous.
My aunt said Becka had a little bit of the devil in her, and no matter how she and my uncle had punished their youngest child over the years the devil had stuck around.
“Fine,” I ground out through my teeth. “Fifteen minutes.”
“Yes! You’re the best, you know that?”
“I hope it’s worth it,” I grumbled as she grabbed her purse and chatted excitedly.
“It’s going to be fun,” she assured me. “Matt said that everyone was going to be here—”
“We’re meeting boys,” I said under my breath as I climbed out of the car. “Of course we are. Drinking and boys. Might as well make the punishment worth it.”
We met at the front of the car and I let Becka wrap her arm through mine and tow me toward the bonfire.
There were cars parked all over, but I didn’t recognize any of them.
They were just big indistinguishable shapes that created a barrier between the clearing where everyone had congregated and the dark woods beyond.
“Do we know any of these people?” I asked, pulling Becka tighter against me as a couple of boys drunkenly grappled, stumbling toward us.
“We know a bunch of them,” she reassured me. “Most of the senior class is supposed to be here.”
“Becks,” a familiar and frankly unwelcome voice called from a place in the shadows.
“Matty!” My cousin tugged her arm away and skipped toward her on- again, off- again boyfriend, leaving me standing in a sea of unfamiliar faces.
They kissed while I averted my eyes. Matt was okay as a classmate, he wasn’t mean or anything, but I didn’t like him for my cousin.
He was one of those kids that was handed everything, I didn’t think that he’d ever gone without—and that made him assume that he deserved whatever he wanted, including my beautiful cousin.
“Who’d you bring with you?” he asked cheerfully once they’d disengaged. He leaned toward me and his eyes widened. “Esther? You brought Esther?”
Yeah, no kidding.
“She’s my cousin,” Becka said, laughing a little. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Matt gaped like a fish for a few moments before abruptly snapping his mouth shut. “No reason.” His eyes scanned down my body and I had to fight the urge not to tug on my button-down or smooth the seams of my long denim skirt.
“We’re finally done with school,” Becka said, leaning against Matt as she looked at me. “And she’s never been to a party. I wanted her to experience at least one.”
“Having a spectacular time so far,” I replied dryly. “I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to attend.”
Becka rolled her eyes good-naturedly.
“The more, the merrier,” Matt said, smiling down at my cousin.
Gag me.
“Come on.” He gestured, tugging Becka with him. “Let’s get you guys some drinks.”
I followed behind them as they rounded the bonfire, keeping my eyes just unfocused enough that I didn’t have to make eye contact with anyone.
While I didn’t have problems with anyone we’d gone to school with, they also weren’t people that I was anxious to spend time with.
I’d made it through all thirteen years of school without being seriously bullied even though I was a full year older than most of them.
There had always been a bit of distance between me and the rest of my classmates, though, because they thought I was weird.
I dressed different, I wasn’t allowed to play any sports, and back when I’d been invited to birthday parties I’d never attended a single one.
Becka couldn’t do any of those things either, but she’d managed to somehow find her place among them. Probably because she was fun, bubbly, outgoing. Everything I wasn’t.
“Back for more?” another familiar voice called out as we reached the cluster of people surrounding some kind of metal barrel.
“Hey Travis,” Becka sang.
“Becks!” Travis yelled excitedly. “You made it!”
“I told you we’d be here.”
“Who’s we?”
“Hi Travis,” I said, stepping out from behind Becka.
“Esther?” he gaped in disbelief.
“You guys are so dumb,” Becka said with a huff, stomping toward the barrel. “Stop staring at my cousin and get me a drink, yeah?”
“Good to see you?” Travis greeted doubtfully, his eyes still on me.
“Yeah, you too,” I replied.
We’d been there for less than five minutes and I was already waiting to leave.
As I looked around the crowd, I recognized at least half of the faces peering back at me as people we’d graduated with a few months before.
There were a few underclassmen that really shouldn’t have been at a party where people were drinking, but that was none of my business.
I couldn’t believe what some of the girls were wearing.
While I was used to the short skirts and the barely-there tank tops, I couldn’t understand why they’d be wearing them when it was so chilly.
It was still warm during the day but by the time the sun went down it had definitely started feeling like fall.
“You want a cup?” Travis held out a red plastic cup in my direction.
“What is it?” I asked stupidly, making a couple people laugh.
Travis looked down at the barrel and then back at me, like that answered my question. When I still hadn’t responded his brows pulled together in confusion.
“Beer,” he said slowly. “From the keg.”
“No, thank you,” I said quickly, taking a step backward.
So, that’s what a keg looked like. I’d heard people talking about them more than once but I’d never actually seen one.
Huh. Wait, that meant that Becka was drinking beer and she was supposed to drive me home in ten minutes.
I turned to tell her to stop drinking, but she and Matt had blended back into the crowd and I couldn’t see them anywhere.
My stomach sank as I searched. If she wanted to be an idiot, I couldn’t really stop her, but I had to get home before my parents noticed that we’d been gone too long for a trip to the ice cream shop.
“Travis,” I called. I wasn’t crazy about the guy but at least I knew him. I was suddenly feeling very nervous surrounded by the rowdy crowd. “Do you have any water?”
“What?” he asked, turning away from the person he’d been talking to.
“Water,” I repeated, leaning forward a little. “Do you have any water?”
“Uh.” He stared at me for a moment like he hadn’t understood. “No, I don’t have any water. Sorry.”
He turned away again and I sighed. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of drunk people I didn’t even particularly like.
I knew I could go look for Becka and Matt but I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what I’d find.
I had absolutely zero intention of ever seeing my cousin have sex with anyone.
“I’ve got water,” a deep voice called, from somewhere on my right.
I turned, my eyes locking on a large torso covered in a light gray flannel. Well, at least this guy didn’t feel the need to dress like it was still summer. I looked up and froze.
I’d never really felt attracted to anyone in real life. There were men on television that I’d thought were handsome and a couple of singers that had a particular pull, but it wasn’t until that moment that I understood why the girls I’d grown up with went crazy over boys.
He was incredibly tall and his shoulders were massive. Short hair, stubble-covered jaw, and intense blue eyes that I couldn’t seem to look away from. Holy crap.
“I’ve got some water,” he repeated, jerking his head toward the row of cars. “It’s in my car.”
“Oh,” I muttered, still unable to look away. “Um, thanks but—”
“Bottles,” he said, cutting me off. “Still sealed and everything.”
“Oh, no,” I shook my head. “I didn’t think you were trying to drug me.” I laughed and looked down, gesturing at myself.
The man’s lips twitched. “Relieved to hear it,” he muttered quietly.
“What?” I was still staring. I knew it and I couldn’t seem to stop.
He was gorgeous. His face was perfectly symmetrical, I realized.
Maybe that was why he was so beautiful. It looked like his nose had been broken at some point, but his jaw was chiseled and his lips were full.
There was a hardness about him, an intensity that made me nervous but also seemed to pull me in. I was clearly losing it.
“You want to stay here and I’ll go get it?” he asked, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Water,” I blurted, finally catching the thread of the conversation. I glanced behind me at Travis, who was trying to get a couple of guys to hold his legs while he climbed on top of the keg. “I’ll come with you,” I told the stranger impulsively.
“Alright,” he said, shrugging. “I’m parked right over there.”