Chapter 9
Esther
“Protect me from what?” I asked gently. Otto’s jaw was clenched and every muscle from the neck down was tense.
“From your fucked-up family,” he replied flatly, staring into my eyes.
When I opened my mouth to counter him, his eyes narrowed and I swallowed back the words.
“Leavin’ out the fact that your pop set you up to be collateral damage like it was nothin’,” he said, waving his hand. “They fuckin’ left you out in the middle of nowhere as what? Punishment? Anythin’ coulda happened out there. You were livin’ like a homeless person with no power.”
“I had a home.”
“Semantics,” he shot back. “You know I’m right. Why are you arguin’ with me?”
Because I couldn’t seem to help myself. I’d spent so long telling myself that it wasn’t really as bad as it seemed and I couldn’t stop. If I stopped that meant that my family had tucked me away like a dirty secret and forgotten me.
“Marry me,” he ordered, his eyes moving from my hair to my eyes to my lips. “We’ll make our own family and yours can fuck off.”
I let out a startled and completely inappropriate giggle.
“Plus, you can have my mom. You like her. She’s nice, right? There you go.” He smiled encouragingly.
I looked down at my lap. Everything was happening so fast. Was it only the day before that I’d woken up in my little cabin completely unaware that anything was going to change? How in the world was I sitting in Eugene with Otto Hawthorne discussing marriage? My head felt like it was spinning.
It was hard to admit, even to myself, that it was exactly what I’d prayed for.
That Otto would swoop in and save me. That he’d be the answer to everything and once he’d shown up I wouldn’t have to be scared anymore.
That I wouldn’t have to worry that I was going to go into labor with no one to help me.
That he’d take care of us and I wouldn’t have to give our baby to strangers the way my parents planned.
In my fantasy world, we’d get married and go see my parents and they’d be reticent at first, but they’d be so glad that I had a ring on my finger that they’d bend a little. Maybe they wouldn’t have us to dinner, but at least I’d get to see Noel again.
Instead, he was trying to protect me from my family.
There wouldn’t be any stopping by their house.
There wouldn’t be any relief in my mom’s eyes or a quietly presented blanket for the baby that she’d secretly crocheted when my dad wasn’t home.
If I married Otto, I had a feeling that I’d never get to see my family again unless we crossed paths at the grocery store.
What did my dad always say? God answered prayers but that didn’t mean you always got the answer you wanted.
“Marriage is forever,” I said, my voice cracking as I looked at him. “I don’t—I don’t want to get divorced. We can’t just get married because you feel guilty for something that wasn’t your fault or because—”
Otto put his hand over my mouth in exasperation. “Not even married yet and you’re already talkin’ about divorce.”
“I’m just trying to tell you that I don’t believe in temporary marriages,” I mumbled, his palm still gently covering my mouth.
“Well, lucky for you, when I make a promise I keep it,” he replied, dropping his hand. “Got no plans to leave you.”
“You can’t know that,” I said reasonably. “For all you know I snore and—and poop my pants.”
“Snoring and pooping your pants are the worst things you can think of?” he asked in amusement.
“Maybe I’m a terrible cook,” I continued, ignoring when his smile made my stomach flutter. “Maybe I watch really terrible shows and I’m rude. Maybe I’m a really mean, rude, awful person.”
“Or maybe I am?” he said, tilting his head questioningly.
“If you were a terrible person you wouldn’t be trying to get me to marry you,” I grumbled.
Otto let out a little laugh and reached out to cup my face in his hands. “If you were a terrible person, I wouldn’t be tryin’.”
“I think it’s probably a really bad idea.”
“Don’t know until you do it.”
“I do know.”
“You gonna marry me anyway?” he asked, leaning close.
What if they were wrong about my dad? What if it all turned out to be a misunderstanding and we didn’t find out until after I was already married?
No.
With a sinking feeling, I knew that no matter what they found out about that stash of guns in the cabin—I’d never be able to go back to my parents’ house.
Not if I kept the baby. Could I marry Otto to keep him or her?
Because that was really what it came down to.
I could choose to tie my life to his, this man who was offering everything, and be able to live, not just live but possibly thrive—or I could try and make my way alone with a little retail experience and only a suitcase of worn out clothes to my name.
When I considered it that way, the answer was so clear that it may as well have been flashing like a neon sign.
“Okay,” I replied, finally. “I’ll marry you.”
I wasn’t surprised by the press of his lips, but I’d forgotten how the feel of them made every nerve in my body come to life. I reached out to grip his forearms as he tilted my head and ran his tongue along my lower lip.
“Next time, you’re gonna come,” he muttered against my mouth. “Swear to God, at least twice.”
I huffed out a breath at his words, wondering why he cared so much, but within seconds the only thing I could focus on were our points of contact. His hand on the side of my neck, my hair wrapped around his other fist, his heart racing beneath my palms, his tongue sliding against mine.
“Ahem,” an amused voice said from the doorway a few minutes later. “Looks like you’re feeling a bit more chipper.”
“Fuck,” Otto breathed, resting his forehead against mine. He raised his voice a little in annoyance. “Give us a minute?”
“On my bed?” his mom asked with a snort. “Not on your life, bud.”
I wanted to sink through the floor. I didn’t care where I ended up as long as it was anywhere else.
“Esther and I are gettin’ married,” Otto announced, pulling away.
There was a shocked silence from the doorway, but I couldn’t make myself look at her. She probably thought we were nuts, or worse, that I was taking extreme advantage of the situation—which I was.
“Well, congratulations…again.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
I had to look up as Otto pulled me to my feet, but by then Heather had hidden any shock or horror from her expression. She was smiling.
“When?” she asked, glancing between us.
“Tonight,” Otto replied.
“What?” I knew my jaw was hanging open, but I couldn’t seem to close my mouth.
“Nice try,” his mom said wryly.
“Tomorrow then,” Otto said stubbornly.
“You have to get a license,” she said, leaning against the doorway. “And wait three days.”
“Fine,” Otto said, towing me toward the door. “Three days then.”
“Otto,” I hissed, pulling at his hold.
“Your bride doesn’t seem super excited,” Heather mused, blocking the doorway.
“I just—” I looked between them, my voice faint. “Three days?”
“Why wait?” Otto asked, lifting my hand to kiss the back of it. I thought he was laying it on a bit thick, but the gesture still made my stomach swoop.
“We can pull something together in three days,” Heather said with a shrug.
“Cool, thanks,” Otto said offhandedly as he tugged me toward the door.
His mom snorted, putting her hand up to stop him. “I think Esther may want a hand in planning her wedding,” she said wryly.
“You wanna pick decorations and shit out?” Otto asked me, like he already knew the answer.
“Yeah,” I replied softly, glancing at his mom.
I hadn’t been kidding. I didn’t plan to get married more than once. If this was the only chance I had, then I was going to at least make it something I could tell the baby about.
“Alright,” he replied almost instantly. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. In a few quick movements he was laying a pile of hundred dollar bills onto my hand.
“Holy crap,” I breathed in disbelief. Why the heck did he carry so much cash?
“Jesus, Otto,” his mom muttered.
“Emergency stash,” he said with a shrug. “Buy what you need.”
When I hesitated, still staring at the money, he leaned down to catch my eye. “You need more? You can take my debit card.”
“No,” I practically shouted, grabbing for his hand before he could open his wallet again. “No, this is plenty.”
“You sure?” he asked, looking over at his mom.
“I’ll pay for any extras,” she said, grinning. “Moneybags.”
“Whoa,” his grandpa muttered, catching sight of us from the hallway. “You carry that much cash on you?”
“It’s my emergency stash,” Otto said again in exasperation.
“We got an emergency?” Grease asked.
“Mom and Esther are gonna get shit for the wedding.”
“Wait,” I breathed, gripping Otto’s hand. “We’re going right now? You’re not coming with us?”
“I’m happy with goin’ to the courthouse,” he replied easily. “You wanna do the fancy shit, my mom’ll help you.”
I tried not to scowl as he turned back to his grandpa. It was his wedding, too. Didn’t he care? For all he knew, I’d buy him a bright purple suit. I looked over his hoodie, leather vest, jeans and work boots. Never mind. I’d never get him to wear a suit.
Of course he didn’t want to go wedding shopping. Why was I letting it bother me? He was about to take care of all the problems I’d been afraid of for the past four months. I should be grateful. My stomach still sank as he let go of my hand and took a step forward to follow his grandpa.
Heather’s foot came out and Otto tripped over it, making him stumble.
“The hell?” he barked, glaring at his mom.
Heather glared right back, and this went on for a long moment.
Suddenly Otto turned back to me and leaned down to drop a quick kiss on my lips. “I’ll make sure you guys are set to go. Back in a minute.”
Heather shook her head as he hurried to catch up to his grandpa. “He’s a good boy,” she said, watching him go. “But you have to train them to be husbands. They’re clueless in the beginning.”
“Oh, okay,” I said softly, gripping the cash in my hand.