Chapter Sixty-Four
Marcus
A s promised, I go through the booking process, signing papers and receiving instructions for what’s next. I’m going to have to hire a lawyer; no way I want my family’s people dealing with this. Once everything is complete, it’s a little after midnight, and I’m led back out to leave. When I reach the exit area, I see not only Linc waiting for me, but Jax stands with him.
“Hey there, lawbreaker. Ready?”
“I just have to get my things.” I point at the desk to the side. When I got here, I had to hand over all of my personal items. Wallet, keys, phone, Gigi’s underwear. That certainly got a look from the clerk.
I try my best to keep my body between my belongings and the guy’s line of sight, but Linc comes to join me at the counter.
He looks down, and his hands cover his face. “Fuck, Marcus, tell me those are not Gigi’s.”
Jax approaches. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I snap.
“This is worse than we thought.” He looks at Jax, pointing to the counter. “He’s walking around with her underwear in his pocket.”
I give the clerk a tight smile as I stuff the fabric into my pocket. She sits grinning, this is probably the most fun she’ll have this evening.
“Jesus, Marcus.”
“What I carry in my pockets is none of your fucking concern. Linc, are you taking me home, or do I need to order a car?”
“I’m taking you home, but we need to have a chat first. Plus, I’m hungry, so let’s go.”
The three of us are crammed into a booth at a twenty-four-hour diner just outside of the city. The waitress sets down our food, Linc’s plate filled with pancakes and extra cups of syrup. The amber liquid pools on his plate as he pours all three ramekins over the stack.
“God, Linc, need more syrup?” Jax rolls his eyes.
“Blame Mel, she started this addiction.”
I shake my head as I cut into my eggs.
Jax swallows his bite of toast. “Alright, Marcus, tell us what’s going on.”
“Nothing to tell.”
Linc points his fork at me, syrup dripping. “Bullshit. I understand you defending Gigi tonight. Shit, you did what we all wanted to. But I saw you kiss her. You’re carrying around her unmentionables, and you came back from Orlando a little too happy. Tell us.”
I set my fork down, leaning my elbows on the table. “I’m rethinking our agreement.”
“Elaborate on that,” Jax says.
I lean back in my chair. “I think I fell for her.”
“What happened to keeping feelings out of this?”
“Believe me, I tried.”
“And since you walk around with her intimates, I take it you haven’t kept your dick in your pants.”
“Who the fuck calls them ‘intimates’? Linc, I remember what I agreed to, but things changed.”
“Do you remember, Marcus? Because I think you have a whole bunch of feelings going on. I knew you always liked her, but fuck, falling for her isn’t what you two agreed to.”
“I haven’t always liked her.”
“You have for a while now. You just wouldn’t let yourself admit it.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I knew there was something there the night we all went out the weekend before Jax and Audrey’s wedding.”
“I think I knew something was different the night you two met for the first time at the fundraiser.”
“You’re delusional. That was two years ago, and she had a boyfriend.”
Jax speaks first. “You two have been hanging out for a long time, years now. Maybe more is true to your little fake engagement plan that you thought. You developed feelings for her over that time and now that she’s single, you can allow yourself to see it.”
“And just because she was with that douchebag doesn’t mean you didn’t see something in her. How far has this gone?” Linc wipes his mouth.
“I’m not going to answer that.”
Jax face winces. “Shit, you two really are sleeping together?”
“Happened in Orlando.” I look at the ceiling. “She was Cinderella, and she was so beautiful. I lost what little control I had.”
Linc raises his hand. “Keep your role playing to yourself, please.”
Jax laughs. “Alright, so you’ve fallen for her, and the sex is good, I assume. So, now, you need to make this all real.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It can be if you let it. And I refuse to sit back and watch you lead her on or deny yourself a relationship that could make you happy,” Linc states, as if it’s obvious.
“What if this all goes south and I lose her?”
Linc pushes his empty plate away. “Marcus, I lost so much time with Mel because I held on to that fear. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“Linc is right. What would be worse? She doesn’t feel the same way and you take some time to repair your friendship or you regret not taking that leap for the rest of your life?”
I sigh. “She deserves the world. I’m not sure I deserve her.”
Linc’s eyes concentrate on mine. “Marcus, you’re one of the best men I know. You deserve the love of a good woman. You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.”
I look down at my plate.
“I think you would actually be doing Gigi a disservice if you didn’t make this real. She’s perfect for you, and you’re perfect for her. At least try. Tell her how you feel. If not for yourself, then for her.” Jax hands the waitress his card as she clears our plates.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am.” He smiles.
I got home a little after 2 a.m., stopping in the kitchen for a glass of water and some ibuprofen. After the night I’ve had, both my hand and my brain hurt. I lean against the counter, taking a moment to think about my actions. Even though he deserved it, I hate that I lost my composure with Lewis. As soon as my fist made contact with his nose, flashes of my father yelling polluted my brain. The memories of him bruising my arm when he grabbed me after I broke a neighbor’s car window with a baseball that I overthrew lived vividly in my mind for the first time in years. I’ve learned to repress those memories, or I would go insane working alongside him every day.
Tonight, I was no better than he was in those days. I used physical violence to solve a situation. But I couldn’t control my actions when I saw his hand on her. When I saw the anger and fear in her eyes. I only wanted to protect her, but now I feel sick with shame and embarrassment.
I finish my water, walk up the stairs to my room to find Gigi asleep in my bed. Our bed. I undress down to my briefs and slide under the covers, pulling her to me. Her eyes flutter.
“You’re home.”
“Yeah.” I kiss her neck. “I’m really sorry I lost control tonight, G.”
She wiggles back against me. “Thank you for standing up for me. Even though I’m a little mad you punched him, and I’m sorry you got arrested, it really meant a lot.”
“I’ll always protect you, princess. I’m just sorry I chose to do it the way I did.”
“It’s okay.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“I think I’m going to call my insurance tomorrow to find a therapist.”
Gigi shifts and rolls over to face me. “Why?”
“I don’t like myself right now.”
“For what happened tonight, or in general?”
“For what happened.” I roll to my back.
Gigi props herself up on her elbows. “Marcus, we all wanted to hit him. You just had the courage to actually do it.”
“What if I’m no better than my father?”
“What are you talking about?”
“My dad used to use his hands when words weren’t enough for him. I don’t want to be like that. Like him.”
Gigi pushes up and moves her body over mine, laying her head on my chest. “Marcus, you’re nothing like him.”
“I didn’t feel that way tonight.”
“You’re one of the most caring men I’ve ever met. You love hard, you work hard, you help others. You help me. You’re a completely different man than he is.”
I pause, collecting my thoughts. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I am.
“Gigi?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for always sticking by my side.”
“I’ll always be here, Marcus. I’ll be by your side as long as you’ll let me.”
I hug her. She presses up on my chest and her lips meet mine in the darkness. I cover us with the duvet, and it doesn’t take long until I hear her breaths slow. I lay awake, holding her to me, finally closing my eyes as the sun was coming up.