19. Envy
Chapter nineteen
Envy
I want you in my home, in my bed, smiling over coffee, all that stuff that’s locked in my head- Envy Fate
I’m silent as I drag Ryn out of Digs’ family home and to a car that’s waiting. I open the passenger door and help her in.
“My stuff-”
“They will bring it. We gotta get you out of here before your father’s assistant arrives.”
Ryn, who didn’t look entirely stable, goes completely white. For a moment, I want to break all the rules, tell her everything, drag her into my arms and tell her that nothing will hurt her, but then I remember who I am, and instead of destroying my entire life, I simply shut the door.
I jog around the car, get in and drive out, leaving via the back property entrance and getting onto the road that will take us up to my home.
We sit in silence. I’ve driven this route so many times I could do it blindfolded, but today, I focus on the rain and poor conditions, wanting to delay the inevitable explanations I owe the shivering omega.
I took her in only a singlet and sleeping shorts. Fuck, I really should have grabbed something for her to wear. I reach into the back and pull out my hoodie and pass it to her.
“Put this on.”
“Thanks,” she mumbles .
Fuck! I tap my thumb on the steering wheel, wishing I could think of something to say to fix it all. But in too short a time, I’m pulling into my family’s property.
My mother stands on the porch waiting for us as we arrive. She’s so young, I always think when I see her. She still retains her youthful figure, and her long blond hair is an identical shade to mine, almost white and dead straight. Mako said once we look like we were born to live in the Seelie court. I’m the spitting image of my mother, and I think that’s part of why we’re so close. She used to say we were blessed with good genetics, but not to let it go to my head because beauty comes and goes, but good hearts are forever. I adore her, but maybe it’s because it’s always been just the two of us. My father has never been around. Either way, I’m excited to finally bring Ryn to meet my mother. It’s been a long time coming.
I stop the car and turn to Ryn.
“This is my home.” I clear my throat, suddenly nervous. “That’s my mother, Denise, and Tyr’s aunt Ariel is inside. Mako’s sister Selene might be here, too. They will not hurt you, so you can stop panicking.”
Fuck, why did I say it like that?
But Ryn is still white knuckling the hem of the jumper, her body rigid in the seat beside me. She’s still freaking out, so I grab her jaw, turn her face towards mine, and kiss her hard, in full view of my mother.
This is a statement. This is a demand. See me and my feelings, you are mine. And the message to my mother is clear; she is mine, nothing has changed.
Auryn makes a moaning protest, but it gets lost within moments, and then all I can smell is that delicious coconut.
I pull away and stare at her, loving that dazed look in her eyes.
“But,” she whispers, “you left.”
I turn away, looking at my mother, who has her arms crossed and a smirk on her lips. “Yeah, and I have a good reason for that, but we have to go see my mother or she will come to us. We can talk about it later. Come on.”
I get out of the car and jog over to my mum and hug her, leaving Auryn behind. Is it a bit cowardly of me? Yes. But I don’t have the words or time to fix anything right now.
“So, I can see that’s the beta,” my mother teases and waves at Ryn, who is hanging back by the car.
Ryn’s eyes widen, and she shoots me a look I can’t decipher.
I clear my throat. “Omega now.”
My mother’s eyes cut back to me, blazing with questions and caution.
“And does she-?”
“No, and we need to keep it that way,” I say sharply .
“Lying to the omega you’re in love with isn’t a good start, son of mine.”
“I know, Mum, but it would put her in a worse position. Trust me, if she knew, things would get worse for her.”
My mother’s expression softens as I knew it would. She’s a sucker for an underdog.
She steps past me and wraps Ryn up in a hug.
“Oh, my gawd, you are simply darling. You poor thing, come inside. I have some clothes ready for you! Envy called me, hysterical, needing to stash you, and I can’t say no to my baby, especially when he’s that irate. But I am so glad he did! I’ve been looking forward to this moment for four years.”
Ryn cuts those blue-green eyes my way. “You were worried?”
“Of course, I was worried. I’m always worried about you, Auryn.”
Her mouth parts, and even though she smells like my pack, I find I’m not upset or jealous. It smells right…almost, I just need her covered in my scent.
Aunt Ariel steps out, holding the door open. “Come on kids, I’ve got breakfast on, and we’d love to tell you all the embarrassing stories.” She aims that last part directly at Ryn. Aunt Ariel has Tyr’s disarming smile, and she wields it like a general going to war.
I wince. I forgot this part of bringing people home to meet our families.
I wander in, trailing the group. The familiar scents of home bombard me. The same old woven rug with a million memories of my life greets me upon my entry, and the delicious aroma of an old favourite breakfast recalls a thousand breakfasts before. How many times have we eaten this breakfast, the pack gathering while our mamas chat?
It’s basically tradition now.
I see a tablet set up and see Digs’ mother peering through the screen, and I burst into laughter.
“Hey, Mama D.”
“You rascal, bring that girl front and center. I need to see her.”
I direct Ryn closer to the camera and gesture to the screen. “Auryn Raines, this is Mama D, Digs’ mother. Don’t get fooled by her wide smile and rosy cheeks. She’s got a temper that has the entire region shaking and she cusses like a sailor.”
“You better believe it, sweet cheeks,” Mama D says with a wink.
Ryn blushes prettily. “Hi!” she squeaks.
“Oh, you’re lovely,” Mama D drawls out. “Welcome to the family, Auryn.”
I choke on air but cover it quickly.
“This is Aunt Ariel, Tyr’s aunt.” I turn her to Ariel, who leans in and smacks a kiss to Ryn’s cheek. “And this is Mako’s sister; Selene.”
Mako’s sister doesn’t look like she’d get along with the rest of the mothers. She’s tall with a serene face, very chic and elegant. But she’s got a wild heart, and she’s got no problem getting around in cutoffs and a shirt tied up under her breasts while she helps chase chickens or paint the church.
She takes hold of Ryn’s face and stares into her eyes. “I can see it.”
I shrug and elbow Ryn. She looks up at me with enormous eyes. I don’t know if she knows she smells of my pack. If it’s as obvious to the rest of us that she’s just spent days getting fucked in every way one can. “Well done. You survived the first meeting.”
Ryn looks positively faint. “That’s great.”
She shifts, and I draw her to my side. I turn and rub my chin over her head and realise I can smell cinnamon and sugar.
“Are we having pancakes?” I ask and step away from Ryn.
“Yes, sirrah, we are.”
“I’ll be just a minute.” I rush out to the car and dig around in the back until I find a different jumper. It’s an old favourite of mine, and I’m glad I’ve got it. I pull it on and inhale the scents of my pack that are soaked into it.
I’ve missed them. It’s been a long time since I spent that long away from any of them, let alone all four of them.
The scents do a lot to settle my nerves. It won’t be long now. A couple more hours.
I walk back into the house, pulling the hood up so I’m enveloped in them.
Ryn has her head thrown back and is laughing. I’m struck suddenly as a beam of sunlight falls on her and my mother. Seeing them in five years, ten years. Seeing her with a daughter who has hair my colour and blue-green eyes like her mother.
I want a forever with this woman.
Why is life so unfair?
Mako’s sister touches my arm and leads me out the front porch.
“When are you going to tell her?”
“When it’s safe to and it won’t make her life worse,” I whisper back.
“She’s in love with you, all of you.”
I pause, those words lifting me up even though they should be wrecking me.
Selene’s gaze sees right through me, pulling all my secrets from me.
“And you all are in love with her. You have been for years,” she whispers. “Oh, Envy, what are you doing?”
I don’t even try to deny it.
“What’s stopping you?”
“Ruin. He would destroy us and make her disappear. We’d never find her,” I whisper. “We don’t have the money yet to break away from Alpha Labels.”
“If you continue to keep this secret, you’ll lose her, anyway.”
She puts her hands on my upper arms and leans in to kiss my cheek .
“Don’t wait too long. If you see a window, chase it. Don’t let it pass you by.”
I swallow hard and nod my head, taking her advice in and making a wordless promise to do exactly that.
“Now, tell me how my brother is. He doesn’t call me nearly as much as I like.”
I talk her ear off for half an hour, and then Ryn, my mother, and Aunt Ariel come out and sit with us. I’m given a plate with a breakfast burger, pancakes covered in syrup, and homemade hash browns.
“Sita is in trouble again.”
I pause, my burger halfway to my mouth. “But we got her out and into rehab.”
“Yes, and you know how the tabloids ran with the fact they thought Tyr was having sex with an underage girl. I’m really grateful for whoever fact checked it and made it disappear.”
I flick Ryn an amused look. Ariel follows it and gasps.
“Was it you?”
Ryn startles, pulling her food closer to her. “What?”
“Did you make those nasty accusations go away?”
Ryn’s cheeks turn red and she shrugs. “It’s my job.”
Ariel, who doesn’t resemble Tyr at all with her chestnut hair and grey eyes, pulls Ryn into a hug, holding her close for long moments.
“Oh, thank you, thank you.”
For a couple of minutes, we all just give Ariel time to compose herself. She sniffs and returns to her food.
“So, Sita?” I prod.
“Sita? Oh, Sita, yes, she took off from the rehab. Claudia has gone down to see if she can find her daughter and rein her in.”
I wince at the mention of Tyr’s mother. When she left them at Ariel’s when they were eight and five, she was coming back. It just took her until Tyr was twenty. His relationship with his mother is rocky, to say the least, and Tyr’s abandonment issues go deep now. But Sita loves her mother.
“Tyr’s going to lose his mind,” Selene says sadly. “That poor boy takes far too much onto him. He can’t save her forever.”
Ryn looks at me with a million questions.
“What you don’t see is how Tyr is psychotically protective of our image. Fighting to protect our privacy. Sita undoes a lot of what he does. She’s sold information about us and the pack to the press. She doesn’t care, but he won’t stop looking after her,” my mother says to the curious omega. “Everything Tyr does is to protect people he cares about.”
Ryn looks down at her hands. “I didn’t know. ”
“He doesn’t want anyone to see that side of him. But he cares about his family and those he thinks are his family.”
She says this pointedly, keeping an eye fixed on the omega, but Ryn doesn’t look up.
“Mm. Just like someone else I know,” my mother says and elbows me. “This one will cut off his own arm and bleed to death if he thinks it will save someone he loves.”
Ryn peers up at me, her eyes searching mine. I can feel my face heat and laugh self-consciously.
“Mum, you promised.”
“I never make any promises I can’t keep.” My mother feigns offense. “Why, our Envy here once spent an entire summer working in the fields with Digs, even though he was allergic to the grasses, just to help Digs save up money for a new guitar.”
“You did that?”
“It wasn’t that bad, a bit of sniffles, nothing serious.” Fucking hell, I think my cheeks are going to catch fire.
“Oh, kid, the bullshit that comes out of your mouth!” My mother leans into Ryn. “He was snotty and puffy, walking around with slits for eyes and sounding horrible. We paid more in antihistamines than he paid for the guitar in the end. But I think over that summer is when friendship turned to love, if I’m not mistaken.”
I duck my head, cursing them. How did they know that?
“Can we stop with the stories?” I shout in panic.
Ryn giggles, and I find myself mesmerised by the sound, staring at her like she’s the only thing in this world.
“Yeah, that’s the look. The one he would level on Digs, Tyr, and Mako,” My mum says softly, I think I’m the only one who heard her, but I can’t look away from Ryn as she slowly stops laughing and wipes a tear away, for all the world.
And, suddenly, guilt black as thunderclouds takes the sparkle out of the day.
I need to tell her the truth.