30. Envy
Chapter thirty
Envy
Fate’s Choice is my choice- Envy Fate
We’re in Silver Falls, and we’re ready. By tomorrow morning, Ryn is going to be a household name. I smile as I strum my guitar, going through the sound check.
Ryn smiles and waves.
She’s going to be in the audience with a microphone on. It’s going to be epic.
I wave at her as she disappears. Going to get makeup on and do her own getting ready. I don’t like the idea of her in the crowd, but Mako thinks it’s a good way to get Tara off our backs.
“Five minutes.”
I walk to the side of the stage and have a sip of my water. Tara is smiling smugly at me.
“I know that you’re going to switch the songs.”
I glare at her. At this point, it doesn’t matter.
The others flank me, picking up on the fury in the bond. The rage coming off us would stop a normal person, but not this bitch. She’s too fucking dumb and too blind to see how close to death she is.
“But you’re not going to switch them, you’re going to play my song.” Tara smiles confidently, like she has all the power.
“Yeah, that’s not happening. We’ve decided.”
Her eyes flash. “I know that she’s an omega.”
Tyr steps up beside me. “Prove it.”
She holds out her phone, and I clearly see Tyr fucking her in the car. His voice calling her his omega is clear.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“We’re not switching the songs,” Tara snaps. “You’re going to play my song, and you’re going to do it as we practiced. Or this is going viral.”
We stand there, silent, refusing to agree to this plan but feeling the horror of her words slice through us. In this, the bonds are so open that my emotions are theirs and theirs are mine. We are one unit.
We’re fucked. We can’t let that video get out.
Typhor would just take Ryn and disappear with her.
“Fine. Raines is here. I can have him find her and take her out of here before you’ve finished your first song.”
“Wait!” I snap out. I glance at the others. “We can’t. If this doesn’t work, he can’t know.”
It’s agonizing to come to this conclusion. She’s going to hate us. I don’t even know if she will listen to us. I wouldn’t. Fuck.
“I’ll give you guys a minute to decide,” Tara says and steps away from us.
Fuck!
Digs lets out a low moan that says everything. “She’ll run. If we do this, we lose her forever.”
“No, she loves us. She will hear us out,” Tyr says confidently. “She’ll wait for us.”
Tara is standing there looking completely unconcerned. I want to break her face.
“If Raines gets her, she will end up under that pack, and we’ll never see her again. I’d rather lose her forever, than see her live her life like that,” Mako says hoarsely. “We sing Tara’s song.”
“I can’t lose her!” Digs wails.
Tyr grabs him and whispers fiercely in his ear. Whatever he says steady’s Digs.
I stare at Mako, trying to work out what the fuck to do. I inhale and shake my head. It is what it is. They’re right. It would be selfish to risk her life. Ryn will understand.
Mako turns towards me.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. My ears ring as I walk out onto the stage.
Tara’s smug smirk makes me feel physically sick, but the show must go on.
The song ends, and I stand there. Tonight, the lights are too bright, the sounds of the fans are too loud, I’m too hot. Everything is wrong.
I turn away, only to see Mako staring down at his drums, his expression grim and depressed.
Digs is struggling, too. I can hear it in his voice.
I turn away.
“How did we get here?” I ask out loud.
Just out of sight of the crowd, I spot Tara smirking. There’s no way out. We’re trapped. The panic rises, and I’m suddenly struggling to breathe. I clutch at my chest and turn away from the crowd.
What did I do?
The others have passed out, and Lia and Locke have just gotten in a taxi and gone home.
I spread my arms and spin, laughing because it’s such a beautiful night and my song, our song, is number 1.
“Ryn?” I hold out a hand to her, and when she takes it, I twirl us around, dancing under the moonlight.
She smiles at me and stumbles, but I catch her. We both freeze. The night is cold, icy, even. Our breath steams, but none of it matters. We’re never this close to each other, I make sure of it. We’re never alone because I’m weak, I am so weak for this woman.
I duck my head down and stop, gauging her reaction.
Auryn Raines stares at me, not looking away, not flinching. Our lips are so close. I feel the weight of responsibility, and all our choices fade as just one thought comes through loud and clear. I want this kiss.
This is so wrong.
I don’t speak and neither does she. It’s like some instinctive knowledge that words will break the spell.
We’re all alone. The world is asleep. It’s just her and me on this street with the pale white glow of the streetlights bathing us and the dark silhouettes of the buildings and trees hiding us.
It’s a time without rules, a time without consequences.
Just once, I want to do what I want to do.
I close the distance, and suddenly, without me making a conscious decision, our bodies are pressed against one another. I run my hands up her back, tasting the hint of coconut in her scent. She moans in my mouth. I’ve never kissed anyone with the hunger I feel for her. It’s frantic and devouring. Our hands are everywhere, and if we were anywhere else, we’d probably be naked.
It’s the kind of kiss that changes you .
I drag my lips off her and look around. We can’t do this here. We can’t be seen. That thought is clear in my head as I step away, keeping my hand locked around her wrist.
“Follow me.”
She follows me in silence. I don’t think about my pack. I don’t think about the fact we’re drunk. All I think about is how much I need to feel her, how long I’ve waited.
I slow down when we get back into the hotel, nodding at James, who is working the desk tonight.
“Where are we going?” Ryn asks with a giggle.
“The garden.”
It only takes a couple of minutes to get there, but when we enter the outside courtyard, I turn, shut the doors, and lock them, pocketing the key.
She shivers but doesn’t move as I approach her from behind.
“It's really beautiful here.”
“You’re really beautiful,” I say.
She smiles. I don’t have to see it to know it. When Ryn smiles, she lights up the atmosphere with it. You can feel Auryn’s smile because it’s that powerful.
I lift my arms, running my fingertips down her shoulders until I cup her hands. She’s got goosebumps, but I don’t think she’s cold.
“Envy,” she whispers. “What are we doing?”
I spin her around and fuse our mouths together. We’re a bonfire, a desperate explosion of all these pent-up feelings and desires we’ve been avoiding for years. She clings to me, so needy, devouring me as much as I devour her.
My heart hammers in my chest, but my head is reeling. Ryn is in my arms, kissing me.
I haven’t kissed anyone outside of the pack before, but this feels like if I don’t do this again, I will miss it for the rest of my life.
She steps back and pulls her top off with a tiny smile.
We’re surrounded by the most beautiful garden, complete with fairy lights and a water feature, and I can’t take my eyes off this beautiful beta in front of me.
I reach for her, but she sinks down to the grass, staring at me.
I follow her down and kiss her again, sliding my hands over her breasts, exploring her body. She’s so much more than I thought she’d be. I’m lost in the feelings, in the desire. The taste of her sweet skin.
I’m drunk, and so is she, not just on alcohol but lust, too. A voice in the back of my mind is screaming to stop, but I can’t. She’s everything I’ve been dreaming about.
I crawl on top of her and put my weight down, pressing into her. Grinding the ache I have to where I know I can find nirvana. She shifts her hips up, rocking against me.
My cock twitches.
Oh, god. I freeze, my eyes wide as I look down at her.
What am I doing?
I scramble off her and stare in horror. What have I done? I almost ruined everything.
“Envy?”
I shake my head, I can taste bile. My head is spinning wildly. “Get dressed. I’m sorry, shit, I am so sorry. We’re drunk, we probably won’t even remember it.”
She flinches hard and reaches for her top, pulling it on and getting to her feet without looking at me.
“I can’t do this. We’re friends, and that’s all we can be. It’s all we should be. I don’t want to hurt my pack with this betrayal.” The rushed words are the only thing I can give her.
Her eyes fill with tears, but she nods and obediently follows me.
I escort her back up to the room. Digs grabs her and pulls her down to the floor between him and Tyr. Neither of them wake up to see the tears that slide down her cheeks or hear the muffled sobs she tries so hard to hide.
But I stay in the shadows and watch all night long.
I watch as she sleeps, and I see her wake up. I’m witness to the devastation on her face as she remembers what happened, and then I see her flee.
I almost stop her. I almost reach out, but the betrayal to my pack holds me frozen, regret and yearning might be tearing me in two, but shame and guilt are the shackles that hold me still and silent.
I gasp, sucking in air that doesn’t fill my lungs. I did this. If I’d have just waited. If I’d have told her then or any time since then.
My whole body trembles.
Digs slams into me, pushing me off the stage, his arms wrapping around me tight enough that it finally breaks past the panic.
I look up at him. With one hand, he swipes my tears away.
“We all missed the chance to tell her. We all betrayed her, but we will fix it Envy, we’re going to fix it.”
I sniffle, but Cadee is there with tissues. She quickly helps me fix myself and hands me a bottle of water.
We’re almost at the end. The song is coming up. I know we have no choice, and I know what she’s going to do. I know it.
She’s going to run. Digs was right. This is a mistake, but what other options do we have? At least she will have a chance.
I walk back on stage, composed once again. My acoustic guitar in my hands.
“I’ll find you. Wherever you are. I promise I will make this right.” It’s the only way I can live with this. The only way I can sing this fucking song.
I’d rather rip out my own heart than hurt her.
But I’d give up my own life to protect her.
Right now, she needs time. I can buy her time.
Tyr looks back at me, checking. I give him a short nod. Mako and Digs start the song. Tyr turns back, but tonight is going to be different from our usual gigs. Tonight we’re playing to save the omega we love.
We’re doing this as a pack.
I feel one last desperate bolt of panic through the bonds from my Digs, but then it hardens to resolve.
So be it.
I open my mouth and sing.