Chapter 8 #2
Ani was the one who introduced Kami to ranunculus; it was their thing together.
They always got arrangements of ranunculus for each other.
For special occasions or just because. Kami had become obsessed with the tight petals, the dark centers.
Ani thought maybe Kami would have discarded her love of the flowers just like she discarded Ani, but no, apparently not.
Kami saying that ranunculus were still her favorite flower almost felt like she was saying Ani was still her favorite person. But she knew she wasn’t.
And suddenly, this entire thing was unbearable.
Kami in her wedding dresses, the outline of her breasts visible, her family missing Ani, everyone wanting her opinion, and the goddamn ranunculus that Kami had kept as one of her favorite things.
Ani’s face grew hot, almost to bursting, and she felt tears threatening to spill.
Ani gave a look of surprise, a show for everyone. “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry, I forgot I have to do something time-sensitive for work. You guys don’t mind if I step out for five?”
It was weird of her, and this was work as much as anything else was work, but no one objected.
Once Ani rounded the corner, she ran. She pushed the heavy glass door and stepped into the sunlight.
The pressure behind her eyes built up, about to explode with tears.
She slipped into a quiet alcove where she was sure she would be alone and let it out.
Ani cried hard. She cried for the way she’d come up short with Kami, for the way she’d been so alone ever since, for her inability to say no to Kami, for the fact that she’d never love anyone else the way she had loved Kami.
Every person she’d met since Kami had been a complete dud in one way or another. Two years, two whole years of not meeting anyone remotely right for her. It was a sign that she was destined to be unlucky in love her entire life.
She was wiping away the wetness on her face when she heard a voice ask, “Ani?”
A male voice.
She whipped around, away from her sad corner of concrete, and was met with the concerned princely eyes of Raffi Garabedian.
He was carrying a sleek leather briefcase in one hand and a wine carrier in the other, effortlessly commanding the space without even trying. He set both on the ground and approached her. He, broad-shouldered with a natural elegance, looking like a fantasy nobleman come to life.
She, a weeping mess. She hiccupped once and then wondered if a person could die from sheer mortification.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked.
“Yes,” she wanted to say. “I’m so, so hurt.”
“I’m fine,” she said, using the heel of her hand to push away tears. The way he was looking at Ani…was he genuinely worried about her? She wished she could melt into the concrete wall, dissolve into nothing, and spare herself the weight of his concern.
Raffi laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, and something inside her pulsed with delight. “You’re clearly not fine. Can I help you somehow?”
Ani laughed helplessly, and Raffi removed his hand. Her traitorous mind thought, No. Put it back.
“Reverse time so I could somehow convince Kami to stay with me? Among taking back some other…mistakes?”
“I’ve been meaning to ask—” Raffi said, then cut himself off. He restarted. “I know you two dated, but it seems like things didn’t…end well?”
Ani leaned against the wall and huffed out a big breath.
“I thought she was the love of my life. We even planned our wedding—what kind of music we’d choose, where we’d want it held, big or small.
But neither of us actually proposed. Then, she dumped me.
Two years ago. I hadn’t seen her or talked to her since then, barring a string of embarrassing ‘please take me back’ texts I sent right after the breakup. ”
Around them, the stark lines of the brutalist architecture loomed, the concrete walls and geometric shapes casting sharp shadows in the midday sun.
Raffi seemed to be taking in her words. His eyes were engaged, and she could practically see his mind working.
He wasn’t dismissing her or mocking her.
It wasn’t a mistake telling him, that was a relief.
Ani continued, “And now I’m not only planning her actual wedding, but she invited me to watch her try on wedding dresses. I was just in there with her relatives, but I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Raffi visibly flinched.
“Don’t go back,” he said.
She laughed bitterly. “I can’t do that.”
“Sure you can.” Raffi shifted around. “God, it’s just like Kami to ask you to come to something like this.
Kami’s charming as hell, don’t get me wrong, but she forgets that other people exist sometimes.
That they have, you know, feelings. And that she might have to sacrifice her wants for someone else’s needs. ”
He seemed to really know her, and his tone of voice made it sound personal, like they hadn’t had a casual relationship, as she’d originally believed. There was something deeper there, something raw.
“Oh?” was all Ani said.
Raffi stiffened, then he changed his expression into one of coolness and brushed off her question with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I just know how she is. Always has to be the center of attention, always has to get her way.”
Ani hadn’t met anyone who had said anything like this about Kami before, and it was…refreshing. She wanted to press further, but she could tell he wasn’t about to elaborate. His voice had tightened just enough to betray him—he was not open to sharing whatever it was.
People in suits and business casual wove through the open atrium, their footsteps echoing against the hard surfaces, their voices blending into a low, steady murmur.
After a beat, Raffi exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing as he flashed her a wry smile. “Which she did, once again. How many people can say they’ve got both of their exes planning their wedding?”
Ani laughed. “Kami really likes to keep ’em close.” And then Ani realized this was the first time she had made light of their situation with Kami.
Raffi smiled. “Or, more likely, she just doesn’t think about the fact that it’s weird.”
“It is so weird. I hope she’ll be the only ex whose wedding I have to ever plan.”
He tilted his head, studying her for a moment. “Why are you doing it then?”
Ani panicked. She could not, absolutely not, tell Raffi about her debts. Being Kami’s weeping ex was bad enough; she couldn’t also be the weeping ex who was not solvent. Raffi wouldn’t understand that anyway. He’d think she was some idiot who couldn’t manage money. And maybe she was.
“I can’t say no to her,” was what Ani said.
Raffi nodded, his jaw tight.
She felt an awkwardness in the air, so she asked, “So you dated her toward the end of high school?”
Raffi looked up sharply. “And first year of college. Why? She talking about me, spilling all my secrets?”
Ani chanced a half smirk. “What secrets do you have?”
He returned her smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
She would, actually. She found that she really, surprisingly would.
The way he was standing here, in the middle of uninspiring concrete shops, he was like a king. So tall and elegant, with his broad shoulders and dark eyes. He was in another suit today. Navy. And he was talking her down from her Kami meltdown, surprisingly successfully.
“Kami mentioned some family friend she dated around that time.”
“Great things to say about me, I’m sure.”
“Surprisingly, not much,” she said. “But your families are close?”
Raffi shrugged. “In a way. They were business partners for a while. My dad managed the Mardians’ money, invested for them, that kind of thing.
They’re one of his biggest clients, so he’s always tried to maintain a good relationship with them.
That’s the only reason he’s allowing this wedding on his property. ”
It took a second to understand what he was saying. “You mean a queer wedding?”
“Exactly. Ole Moushegh isn’t exactly the most open-minded man.”
Ani needed to know, so she asked it.
“And you?”
Raffi’s stance relaxed, and he leaned back slightly, his hands sliding into his pockets as he gazed out toward the bustling atrium.
“I’m glad we’re doing it, barring the whole Kami thing.
” He turned to her fully then, his voice growing with conviction.
“Show the Armenian community here that we can have a big fat gay Armenian wedding and it’s okay.
That the world doesn’t end if we celebrate queerness.
It makes us stronger, actually. What a concept! ”
He wasn’t just shrugging it off; he seemed invested in it.
She didn’t want to stereotype, but the typical Armenian man wasn’t usually a champion of queer rights, so she figured Raffi was, at most, indifferent.
But Raffi appeared enthusiastic. This part of him hadn’t made its way through the rumor mill.
Raffi Garabedian, playboy misogynist extraordinaire, and also a… proud queer ally?
She nodded in support of his words. Then she noticed, finally pulled out of her misery, that Raffi seemed happy to stand here and talk to her.
His posture, his face, they were welcoming, like he had nowhere else in the world to be.
Speaking of which, she did wonder what the hell he was doing at this shopping center in the Embarcadero.
She asked, “By the way, what brings you here?”
Raffi cleared his throat. “Our worlds collide again. I dropped off some of my wine with Kami’s aunt earlier—”
Oh. She kept forgetting that Raffi’s and Kami’s families went way back, to the point where Raffi would be hand-delivering his wine to Kami’s aunt. Ani also had been far too distracted to notice that Tantig Shoghig had wine bottles with her.
“Met her downstairs and loaded them into her car. Then, while I was in the area, figured I’d pop into some restaurants, beg them to buy our wine. It’s going great,” he said sarcastically.
“Shoot, that sounds tough.”
“Got to keep trying.”
Raffi picked up his briefcase and the wine carrier. “You good now? Or, you know, better?”
Ani gave him a small smile. “Definitely better.”
He started to walk away, and Ani felt a sadness creep into her heart.
Then he turned and said, “Oh hey, tomorrow night I’m having a party at the winery.
Small bites and all-you-can-drink ? wine.
Some friends, friends of friends. I know it’s pretty far, but if you’re around, maybe you’d like to come by?
Sevenish.” Reading her growing shock, presumably, he added, “Not a date. Just a party.”
Ani swallowed. He was inviting her to a party with a bunch of his friends. Not a date, true, but it still somehow felt…she didn’t know. Intimate.
“Um, maybe,” she said. God, that sounded like a no, and she didn’t want it to sound like a no. “It’s far, but who knows, maybe something will come up on the site and I’ll be there.” That wasn’t much better. She tried yet again, “Sounds like a great night. I want to come, if I can.”
Raffi gave the tiniest smile. “Happy to hear it.”
Then he walked away, and somehow Ani felt she could deal with Kami and the rest of the wedding dresses now.
She also thought she should make an important call to Nareh soon.