42. Alex
FORTY-TWO
Alex
W hat a fucking week.
First I find out I’m going to have a kid, since Wednesday I’m officially employed for the first time ever. And now I’m standing on Opal’s front porch, because even though we’re going to have a child together, I still don’t have any other way to contact her.
I knock on the door, a slight breeze hitting me as I stand under the covered porch. The air smells like spring, mixed with a hint of dust that’s settled over the various flower pots and books scattered around me.
The door creaks open and behind the screen door her grandmother appears. I know her name is Darlene, but I’ve just always known her as ‘Mamaw’, so it feels weird to refer to her by her first name.
“Well, fancy seein’ you here.” She grins like she’s in on some kind of joke that I’m not privy to.
“Hey,” I nervously rub the back of my neck. “Is Opal around? I was hoping to talk to her.”
I’m not sure if she knows what’s going on yet, but I’d be surprised if Opal kept it a secret from her. If she does, I realize how strange this probably seems. This is what a twelve year old child does when he wants his friend to come outside and play, not what a twenty-four year old man is supposed to do when he wants to speak to the mother of his child.
“She is.”
She walks away, slowly, and a few moments later Opal opens the door. She looks sleepy, like she just woke up from a nap. I can’t help but smile at how adorable she is in this state, even though she doesn’t look nearly as happy to see me.
“Hey,” she says, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Hey.”
She stares at me, as if she’s waiting for me to speak again. “What’s up?” she finally asks, her brows crinkled.
I chuckle, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “I figured I should probably come check on you, y’know since I can’t text or call you.”
She crosses her arms nervously and looks down at her feet. “Oh. I’m fine.”
“Do you think you could give me your new number? I mean, since you’re my baby mama now, it seems kind of necessary.”
She rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the tiny smile that forms on her lips. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Maybe you could even unblock me on your socials.”
“Let’s not get carried away,” she says as she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her pajama pants.
“I’m starting work on Monday, so I won’t be at home during the day, but you can call me if you need anything any time.”
Her brow quirks. “Work?”
“Yeah.”
She chews on her bottom lip as she appraises me. “You got a job?”
“Is it that hard to believe?”
“Kinda,” she shrugs. “Weren’t you the one that said normal jobs were boring…or miserable. Something along those lines.”
I can remember the exact conversation she’s referring to. “Yeah,” I laugh. “Things change.”
She nods, still squinting at me like she’s not sure if I’m telling the truth. “Where are you working?”
“Ryder Construction.” It’s true that a traditional job was never in my plans, but if I’m going to work, the last thing I want to do is sit at a desk all day. So working my ass off in the heat it is.
She hums before handing me her phone. “Here, add your number.”
I grab it from her and send myself a text, that way I’ll have her number too. She probably didn’t want me to do it that way, but too bad. I need to make sure I can check in on her.
“I was thinking maybe we could go shopping, get some things for the baby,” I say as I hand the phone back. “We could drive down to the mall in Fort Worth.”
She stares at me blankly. “We have nine months, we don’t need to do that right now.”
She’s so hard to read now. Every time I think she might be warming up to me, her walls go right back up. I hate it. I miss when we were so close that we could practically finish each other’s sentences.
“Might as well start sooner than later, right?” I shrug. “Better to be prepared.”
She grins and looks away, refusing to meet my gaze. “What do you know about preparing for a baby?”
“Nothing, I’m about to learn everything there is to know about it though.”
A little bit of the ice in her eyes seems to thaw, and she drops her arms to her sides before stuffing her hands in her pockets. “Okay…sure. When do you want to go?”
“Next weekend?” I offer. That’s when I’ll have my first check, and along with the money left over from my last couple of shows I should have plenty to buy some necessary items.
“Okay,” she nods. “I guess I’ll see you then.” She turns away and starts to open the door.
“Wait,” I lightly touch her arm to stop her, and I don’t miss the way she flinches.
“What?”
“Um, how are you feeling?” I don’t know why I keep thinking our conversations will last longer than they do. I miss talking to her, so much. Part of me wonders if we’ll ever again be able to share the deep conversations that used to flow between us so easily.
She shrugs. “Fine, I guess. I get sick a lot, I sleep a lot. And no offense, but right now you’re cutting into my very valuable sleeping time.”
“I guess that’s an improvement, you used to never sleep,” I grin.
Her eyes flash with amusement and her lips tilt up slightly. “It sucks in a different way.”
I want to stay, I want to hold her, or at least sit next to her and learn about everything I’ve missed in the past five years. But I know that isn’t what she wants.
“Well, let me know if you need anything.” It feels empty, because it is. I have nothing of value to offer her, but I’m trying like hell to change that.
She nods and shuts the screen door behind her, giving me a slight wave before retreating deeper into her house until she disappears.