46. Opal
FORTY-SIX
Opal
A bout a month after Mamaw got released from the hospital, Mom moved back in with us. She had to take a significant pay cut after quitting her job and finding a new one at a smaller local news station, but she insisted that it was the right thing to do.
It feels a bit different, all of us living under the same roof again, but I don’t mind it. The only thing I worry about is how crowded it’ll feel when the baby gets here, a small house like ours can only accommodate so many people. But I’m trying my best not to sweat too much about it right now, all I can do is try my best to save up every penny I don’t spend on necessities.
Alex and I have managed to remain civil ever since the day Mamaw went to the hospital. Although I think that night of him serenading me was a one off event, it hasn’t happened since, nor have we talked about it. When we talk, we talk about the baby.
I take a deep breath before pushing open the glass door in front of me, the bells above me tinkling softly as I enter. “Morning, Jess.”
Jessica peeks up at me from behind the counter, a blank look on her face. I give her a friendly smile but it isn’t returned. I know I’m on thin ice. When I checked my schedule last night I was no longer scheduled for my typical amount of hours. As far as I know, we’re open normally all week, so clearly she just didn’t feel like putting me on the schedule.
“Opal.” She nods, setting down the cupcakes in her hands. “I was hoping we could chat, can you give me a few minutes? I’ll meet you at your desk.”
“Sure,” I nod, pretending like I’m not shaking inside. I hate getting in trouble. Always have. Whether it was my grandma, a teacher, or in this case my boss reprimanding me, it’s always made me feel two inches tall.
I set my stuff down at my desk, logging into my computer as I usually would.
“Hey.” She scoots a chair up beside me, the sound of it screeching across the floor puts me even more on edge. “How are you doing?”
Not what I expected her to say, but alright. “Uh, I’m fine. Good.” My smile is fake and I’m sure she can tell.
“You’ve seemed a bit…off lately.” She stares at me for a moment, as if expecting me to agree or disagree. I just stare back at her. “I’m not sure if something is going on in your personal life, or maybe you’re just not happy with this job anymore.”
“No! Not at all. It’s just–yeah, personal stuff.” My hands are clammy, I wipe them on my slacks to try and relieve the feeling.
She gives me a half-ass sympathetic smile, her brown eyes crinkling in the corners. “It seems like whatever it is has been taking up a lot of your energy. I like you, Opal, I’m not just saying that. But, I’m not sure that you’re the right fit for this job anymore.”
Fuck fuck fuck. “Jessica, I need this job. I’ll do better, I’m sorry.” God, I sound pathetic, but I have no idea how else to respond. It’s the truth, I have no clue where else I could find a job almost halfway into my pregnancy. I’m not huge yet, I’ve been able to cover my bump at work with flowy dresses and tunics, but it won’t stay like that for long.
“I will be more than happy to give you a good reference. But I think it’s time for you to move on, I’m sure there’s another job out there that you’ll be much more excited about.”
I sigh, knowing that her mind is made up, and I’m just wasting my breath if I try to argue now. “Okay.”
“You’re welcome to stay until the end of the day, but if you don’t want to, that's fine too. I’ll cut you your last check this Friday.”
Wow, so much for a two week notice. I guess that only applies if it’s the employee’s idea to quit. “Alright,” I nod, grabbing my bag and spinning around in my chair to get up.
Maybe I should stay for the rest of the day, heck if I know, I’ve never been fired before. But at this point that just seems like it’d be awkward for both of us.
I exit the bakery without another glance behind me, anger simmering in my veins. I’ve done so much for that company, and for such shit pay. I know I wasn’t a perfect employee by any means, but I did try.
The weight of my own failure sits heavily on my shoulders as I walk back down the street towards my car. I can’t even keep a job, even a job that I thought I was pretty decent at. How the hell am I going to raise a kid? I slam my car door closed and rest my head on my steering wheel. Tears start flowing from my eyes before I can stop them or pull myself together.
It’s just a job, Opal.
But it’s not. It’s more than that, because it’s just one more thing I can add to my list of fuck-ups in life.
I pull my phone out of my purse and tap on Maisie’s name. It rings and rings, but eventually goes to voicemail. I know she’s in her nursing class this morning, and she can’t just step out for what she probably thinks is a casual phone call.
I scroll through my contacts. I could call Mom, but she won’t understand. She’ll call my boss a bitch for firing me, but she’ll make me feel worse when she says the job didn’t pay enough anyway. I sure as hell don’t want to tell Mamaw, she’s had more than enough stress lately.
My thumb hovers over Alex’s name as I blink away new tears. What the hell, why not?
It rings a few times. He probably won’t answer, he’s at work.
“Hello?”
I sniffle into the receiver, realizing I didn’t even plan how I’d start this conversation.
“Opal? You there?”
“Hey,” I say. “Um, sorry to bother you. I just–” I pause, feeling like an idiot for calling him now. I just felt like I needed to talk to someone, vent.
“It’s okay, you’re not bothering me. Is everything alright? You sound upset…” His voice is laced with concern.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I um, I lost my job. So…I’m just kind of sad, and pissed.” A laugh escapes me, and it feels weird, but also good. The situation isn’t funny at all, but laughing in spite of myself seems like the only logical solution.
“Shit…Did they say why?”
“Basically just that I wasn’t meeting expectations.”
“Fuck that. I bet you were the smartest one in that place.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, honey.”
Even though I know that’s not true, his words somehow make me feel better almost instantly. “Thanks. I just feel like, now what? I’m almost twenty weeks pregnant. It’s going to be hard to find a job now, if they know I’m pregnant they won’t want to hire me. I’m just scared. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.”
He pauses, and I look at my screen, making sure he hasn’t hung up. “Do you need me to come over?” he asks.
“What? No, you’re at work, you don’t need to do that.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Opal. These things happen sometimes, don’t be too hard on yourself.” He sounds so sincere, it almost makes me second guess my insecurities. “Can I come see you later, when I get off? Just to check on you?”
A lopsided smile appears on my lips. “Yeah, that would be nice actually.”
“Okay. I gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you this evening. I-” he pauses like he was about to say something else, but decided not to. “I’ll see you later, bluebird.”
“Okay, see you.”
I disconnect the call, feeling a tad air of awkwardness about how it ended. Like the conversation wasn’t complete. I shake off the weird feeling and shove the key in my ignition, feeling like I have a much better hold on my emotions now than I did before our phone call.
It’s kind of funny that only a couple of months ago, Alex was the one person who could throw me into an emotional turmoil, and now he’s the one calming me down.