Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
DIXIE
I couldn’t stop pacing. Fifteen steps from the living room to the kitchen and back, over and over again. It wasn’t enough to burn off the restless energy coursing through me. My stomach churned, my head pounded, and my heart felt like it was tearing itself apart.
I hadn’t stopped crying since Frankie left last night. My sister. My best friend. The one person who had always been in my corner, no matter how messy or chaotic my life got. And now? Now she was hurting because of me.
I had been going back and forth all night trying to think of a way to make it okay for me and Hayes to be together. There had to be a way. Hayes wasn’t the man Frankie described. He couldn’t possibly be the cold, callous asshole that broke her heart. And maybe he wasn’t right for her because he was supposed to be with me.
I could keep trying to reason my way through it, but it wasn’t working. I knew what I had to do.
This thing with Hayes was over before it could even begin.
My tears shifted from guilt to sadness to resignation.
I stared at the clock on the wall, willing time to slow down. Hayes would be here any minute, and I wasn’t ready. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready. But I had to do this.
Frankie came first. That was just how it was. How it always had been. The Bancroft family had all told me in one way or another that no matter how often they argued or in some cases actually got into physical fights, they were family at the end of the day. They would walk through hell for each other.
Hayes would understand I couldn’t betray my sister even if it meant I was going to be miserable.
But I was going to ask her to write a list of names of men she’d dated to avoid this situation in the future. Clearly, she was a little territorial.
The knock at the door jolted me out of my thoughts. My heart dropped into my stomach. For a moment, I thought about pretending I wasn’t home. Maybe I could just text him. Tell him we couldn’t see each other anymore.
I owed him more than that.
I took a deep breath and opened the door.
Hayes stood there with a beautiful smile on his face. He looked so good—too good. It wasn’t fair. I was going to lose my resolve if I kept looking at him.
“Hey,” he said, stepping inside. But his smile faded as he studied my face. “What’s wrong? Whose ass do I have to kick?”
I tried to hold it together as I shut the door behind him, but the lump in my throat made it hard to speak. I gestured for him to sit on the couch.
He watched me carefully as I sat down next to him, fidgeting with the hem of my sleeve. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t bear it.
“I don’t know how to say this,” I whispered, my voice trembling.
Hayes leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Just say it, Dixie. What’s wrong?”
“I, we?—”
The words wouldn’t come. I opened my mouth, but all that came out was a choked sound.
And then he saved me.
“So, you’re done,” he said quietly, his tone resigned, like he already knew what I was going to say.
My chest tightened, and tears welled up again. I wiped at them furiously, wishing I could keep my composure. He deserved that much.
“I have to be,” I said, my voice cracking. “It’s not because I want to. Hayes, I don’t—” I stopped, shaking my head.
“You don’t want to end things with me?” he asked.
“No, I don’t, but I have to.”
“Why do you have to?” He studied me. “That doesn’t make any sense. You’re an adult. Why would you need to break things off?”
I hated this. This was a million times harder than I thought it was going to be. Seeing his expression was like someone putting a vise around my heart.
“I need to tell you something,” I whispered.
“What’s going on, Dixie?”
I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “Last night, my sister was asking me about the trip and I kept going on about how amazing you were. I told her your name was Paul because I knew she would know your last name. I didn’t want her to freak out over the fact you’re a Bancroft. And then last night I showed her your picture.”
He blinked, confused. “Okay…”
“She recognized you,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Because I’m a Bancroft,” he said. “I am not my brothers or cousins. I’ve never been attached to a scandal.”
“No, she knew you.”
His confusion deepened. “I don’t understand.”
I swallowed hard. “Hayes, my sister’s name is Frankie. And you two… you dated.”
His eyes widened in shock. He sat back, staring at me like I’d just slapped him. I wasn’t sure what would be worse—if he remembered her or if he didn’t.
“Francine?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief. “She’s your sister?”
I nodded, my throat tightening.
“Shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.
“You could say that again,” I said. “You do remember her.”
“Yes. That was a while ago.”
“She was head over heels for you,” I said, the words tumbling out. “She never got over it. In her eyes, you’re the one that got away. You really broke her heart. She had some big plans for the two of you.”
“I don’t understand. Why can’t you and I be together?”
“Seeing us together is too painful for her. I can’t hurt her like that, Hayes. She’s always been there for me, and I have to respect her feelings.”
He nodded slowly, still processing. “I understand,” he said finally. But then he frowned. “Dixie, I didn’t realize it was that serious between me and Francine. We dated for a couple of months, sure. But we never even slept together. I don’t know how I could have made her think I was in it for the long run. We never talked about a future. We weren’t serious. I don’t think I ever even took her to my place.”
A selfish wave of relief washed over me, but it didn’t change anything. “I wish that changed things,” I said softly.
He looked at me, his eyes searching mine. “Would it help if I talked to her? Maybe if she understood?—”
I shook my head, cutting him off. “This is it, Hayes. It has to be. I can’t choose you over her. I’m so sorry.”
I wiped away fresh tears, my voice trembling as I tried to keep it together. “Thank you for everything. For the Maldives, for all of it. It’s been the most amazing whirlwind, and I’ll never forget it. But I can’t go to Kathy’s wedding. I’m sorry if that lets her down, but I just can’t. I think it’s best if we just end things sooner rather than later.”
His jaw tightened, and I could see the hurt he was trying to hide. But he didn’t lash out or argue. He just nodded.
“I get it,” he said quietly. “I wish things were different. Because I think if they were, you and I could have been end game.”
“Don’t say that,” I whispered, shaking my head as tears spilled over. “Please don’t say that.”
“I don’t want to make this difficult, but I really think I could talk to Francine,” he said.
“Hayes, no. She would kill me. She would be humiliated. Especially to know you never felt that way about her. I don’t want to make this worse than it is for her.”
He sighed deeply, the sound heavy with resignation. “I respect your decision,” he said finally, his voice laced with a sadness that mirrored my own. “I just… I wish she could see how amazing we are and that you’re worth fighting for.”
I swallowed against the knot in my throat, the pain of our parting sharp and raw. “You don’t understand. She needs me. She’s been through so much, Hayes. I can’t just abandon her because my heart wants something else. I have to do this for her. I’m so sorry. For what it’s worth, I really did enjoy my time with you.”
Hayes reached out, his hand brushing mine before he withdrew it as if burned. “I know,” he said, his gaze locked on mine. “I know you have to do this. It’s one of the things I—” He paused, catching himself. “It’s one of the things I admire about you. You are a good person. Your sister is lucky to have you.”
With a shaky breath, I stood up, needing to put some distance between us before I lost the nerve to let him go. This was just as hard as I expected it to be. Maybe harder. He wasn’t begging me to stay or getting angry. He wasn’t calling me names or throwing his hands up in the air and telling me good riddance.
He was just sitting there, understanding, hurting, and somehow respecting me more for the choice I had to make. It tore at me, knowing that this could leave scars on both our hearts, ones that would never fully heal.
“If ever there’s a day when you don’t have to make this choice...” He paused, his voice thick with emotion. “If ever there’s a day when it could be just you and me without this shadow between us…”
I told myself not to do it, but I had to. I had to look at him. I slowly turned to face him. “Yes?”
“Please find me. Let me know. Maybe things could be different then.”
His voice was a barely audible whisper. I nodded, the movement jerky and uneven as I fought back more tears.
“I will,” I managed to say, though the words felt like shards of glass in my mouth. “I promise.”
He stood and stepped forward. I stood still while he leaned in and kissed my cheek, the gesture so tender it broke me all over again. Then he headed for the door.
“If you ever need me,” he said, pausing with his hand on the doorknob, “you know where to find me.”
And then he was gone.
I stood in the doorway for a long moment, staring at the empty hallway. My chest ached, and my tears wouldn’t stop. My sister had a man now. Maybe she would fall in love and marry him. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so bothered by me dating Hayes. But even if she did change her mind, who’s to say he would still be waiting for me? He was a catch. I was lucky to have the time I did with him. Why would he wait for something that may never happen?
The sound of shuffling footsteps pulled me out of my daze. I turned to see Margaret making her way down the hall. She was dressed in her usual robe and fluffy slippers, her cat tucked under her arm like a football.
She paused when she saw me, her face softening. “Are you alright, dear?”
I shook my head, unable to form words.
Margaret shuffled closer and, without hesitation, wrapped me in a warm hug. The cat purred between us, its soft fur brushing against my arm.
“Thank you,” I whispered into her shoulder, my voice breaking.
She smelled like peppermint and catnip, and for a brief moment, it was enough to ground me.
“It’ll be okay,” she said gently, patting my back.
I didn’t believe her, not yet. But in that moment, her kindness was enough.