Chapter 33
CHAPTER 33
DIXIE
T he coffee table drawer felt like it was screaming at me. I was expecting a ghost to come along and throw it open to expose my secret. Inside, the pregnancy test sat like a bomb waiting to detonate. I had stashed it in there before Hayes showed up. That was not how I wanted him to find out.
My chest tightened as I glanced at Hayes again, his concerned expression cutting through the chaos of my thoughts. He deserved to know the truth, but the idea of saying the words out loud terrified me.
What if I told him, and he ran? Or worse, what if he stayed, but only because of the baby? That would be even harder to live with. I couldn’t bear to be with someone out of obligation. I wanted him to choose me because he wanted me, not because he felt trapped.
So, I shoved the truth deeper into the recesses of my mind and plastered on a small, shaky smile.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I’ve been a mess lately. I had a fight with Frankie, and it just… it really got to me.”
“About me?” he asked.
I nodded. “In a roundabout way.”
“But you ended things with me,” he said. “Doesn’t that make it better between the two of you?”
I snorted. “You would think so.”
His brows furrowed. “What happened?”
I hesitated, debating how much to tell him. I could give him a version of the truth. I wasn’t ready to come right out and tell him everything. I couldn’t. The moment I told him I was pregnant, his life would change. Our relationship would change. Everything changed. I wasn’t ready for that just yet. I needed to be normal for just a little while longer.
“I stood my ground,” I said. “She was pushing me about something, and for once, I didn’t back down. But it made me realize how much I’ve missed you. How much I regret walking away.” I bit my lip, searching his face for any sign of rejection. “I made a mistake, Hayes. Breaking up with you was impulsive and rash, and I never should’ve let someone else’s opinions dictate what we had. What we were building was… it was special. I know that now.”
His expression softened, and for a moment, I thought he might say something. But instead, he leaned forward, his hand brushing my cheek, and then his lips were on mine.
The kiss stole my breath. It wasn’t tentative or hesitant. It was consuming. His mouth moved against mine with an intensity that made my head spin, his hands framing my face like he was afraid I might vanish if he let go. All the fear and doubt that had been eating away at me melted under the heat of his touch.
I gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, needing the connection as much as the air in my lungs. He deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against mine, and I let out a soft sound that seemed to spur him on.
“Dixie,” he murmured against my lips, his voice rough and filled with longing. His hands slid down to my waist, then to my hips, anchoring me to him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance,” I said. “My sister and I have a complicated relationship.”
He rubbed his thumb across my cheek, wiping away the last of my tears. “I don’t want to get in the middle of your relationship with your sister.”
Hayes pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine. “Tell me about your relationship with Frankie. Help me understand.”
I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “It’s complicated. Frankie’s always been the golden child. Perfect grades, perfect job, perfect life. And I’ve always been… well, me.”
“What’s wrong with being you?” Hayes asked, his brow furrowing.
I gave a humorless laugh. “In my family? Everything. I’m the black sheep, the one who can’t seem to get it together. Frankie’s always been there for me, but sometimes it feels like she’s more of a parent than a sister. To make it worse, she’s my little sister. I somehow ended up looking up to her. And I think… I think sometimes she needs me to be a mess so she can feel better about herself.”
Hayes nodded slowly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. “And where do I fit into all this?”
I sighed. “You’re someone Frankie dated first. In her mind, that makes you off-limits to me. When she found out about us, she felt betrayed. Like I’d stolen something from her.”
“But we barely dated,” Hayes said, frowning. “It wasn’t serious.”
“I know that. But Frankie…” I trailed off, shaking my head. “She tends to build things up in her mind. Make them bigger than they were.”
Hayes was quiet for a moment, processing. “So when you ended things with me?”
“It was to keep the peace with Frankie,” I admitted softly. “I’ve always put her first. It’s just what I do.”
“And now?” he asked, his voice cautious. “What’s changed?”
I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I realized I can’t keep living my life for other people. I have to make choices for myself, even if they’re hard.” I looked into his eyes. “I choose you, Hayes. If you’ll still have me.”
He was quiet for a long moment, his expression unreadable. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for his response.
Finally, he spoke. “Dixie, I care about you. A lot. But I need to know this isn’t just another impulsive decision. I can’t go through losing you again.”
His words stung, but I knew they were fair. I nodded slowly. “I understand. I know I hurt you, and I’m so sorry for that. But I promise you, this isn’t impulsive.”
“And what about your relationship with your sister?” he asked.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Honestly? I don’t know. Things with Frankie are tense right now. But I’m hoping we can work through it. I want her in my life, but not at the expense of my own happiness anymore.”
I didn’t say it, but I wanted to tell him I had to think of someone else first. My child’s needs superseded Frankie’s selfish reasons for keeping me and Hayes apart.
Hayes nodded slowly, his eyes searching mine. “I want to believe you, Dixie. I do. But I need some time to process all of this. Can you understand that?”
My heart sank a little, but I nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”
He gave me a small smile, then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “Thank you for being honest with me. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you called.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
I turned to kiss his cheek. I intended for it to be a kiss goodbye, but he turned his face and captured my lips. Hayes kissed me deeply, his arms pulling me closer. I melted into the kiss, all the tension and worry from earlier dissolving. His hand slipped under the hem of my shirt and skimmed along my bare skin. I shivered and arched into him. I longed for his touch. It had been too long. I missed him. I missed his hands on my body.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his forehead resting against mine, his breath warm against my lips. His voice was steady, but I could hear the tension beneath it, like he was holding himself back.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I’m sure.”
His lips crashed into mine again. He gently pushed me back on the couch. The world outside faded as the intensity of the moment pulled us under. He was careful but unrelenting, his touch igniting every nerve in my body.
At some point, between kisses and whispered reassurances, he pulled away just enough to meet my gaze. “Condom?”
I almost told him it wasn’t necessary but that would throw cold water on things. The truth could come out later. “Bathroom drawer. I’ll get it.”
I grabbed the condom and returned to find Hayes pulling off his shirt as he kicked off his shoes. I smiled at the sight of his beautiful body. He grinned. “I guess you could say I’m eager.”
I smiled back at him. “Me too.”
He reached for my shirt and quickly pulled it off. I wasn’t wearing a bra. Didn’t need a bra for laying around and crying. He groaned and bent down to suck one nipple into his mouth. I arched into Hayes as he lavished attention on my breasts. His hands skimmed down my sides, leaving tingles in their wake. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of my leggings and slowly pulled them down along with my thong. I felt exposed but exhilarated as he stripped me bare.
Hayes stepped back, drinking me in with hungry eyes. “God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured. His hands caressed my thighs and then up my sides once again. His hand moved to the back of my neck and held my head steady as he kissed me. My arms wrapped around him, pulling his bare chest against mine.
Hayes deepened the kiss as he gently lowered me onto the couch. His hands roamed my body, relearning every curve. I arched into his touch, craving more. My fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, eager to feel all of him.
“Slow down,” he murmured against my lips. “We have time.”
But I didn’t want to slow down. I needed him, needed to feel connected and whole again after a week of emptiness. I managed to undo his pants and pushed them down along with his boxers. Hayes kicked them off and settled between my thighs.
With some maneuvering, he managed to slide his hands between my thighs. To give him room, I lifted my leg and threw it over the back of the couch.
He smiled against my lips. “I like that.”
Hayes touched me gently at first, his fingers exploring and teasing. I gasped as he found my most sensitive spots, arching into his hand. He built up a steady rhythm, watching my face intently as pleasure coursed through me.
“Hayes,” I moaned, gripping his shoulders. “Please, I need you.”
“I’m right here,” he said before kissing me once again.
I groaned as his thumb brushed against my clit. Pleasure vibrated through me. He continued pushing his fingers in and out, teasing me to the point I thought I was going to fall over the edge before he pulled back. I felt flushed.
His tongue slid over my jaw and to my ear. He nibbled my earlobe before moving to the spot just below my ear. He knew exactly what he was doing. He teased me with teeth and tongue while his fingers worked inside me.
Hayes continued to tease me with his fingers and mouth, bringing me to the edge but not quite letting me fall over. I writhed beneath him, desperate for more.
“Hayes, please,” I gasped. “I need you inside me.”
He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire as they met mine. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “I’m sure.”
He nodded, reaching for the condom on the coffee table. I watched as he tore open the wrapper and rolled it on. I pushed the guilt away, knowing it was pointless. Now wasn’t the time to have that conversation.
Hayes positioned himself at my entrance. The feeling of his hard length pressing against me made me gasp.
He kissed me deeply as he slowly pushed inside me. I cried out softly, overwhelmed by the feeling of being filled again after so long without him. He moved slowly at first, his fingers intertwined with mine as he slowly sank into me. A tidal wave of sensations crashed through me.
I pulled one hand away and slid my hand down his back. My nails dug into his back softly as he picked up speed, our breathing growing ragged in sync with each other’s movements. His hand slid under my leg and pushed against my thigh until my knee was nearly touching my nose. The angle was driving me crazy. He hit the spot over and over again. My body erupted around his thick cock embedded inside me.
I cried out with my back arching. He swallowed my cries without letting up. I was grateful for it.