Chapter 44
CHAPTER 44
HAYES
I woke up feeling like shit. After dropping Dixie off, I came home and had a few glasses of scotch. I thought about going into the office and doing some work, but I was useless.
All night I sat and stewed and tried to puzzle out what it was she was hiding from me. The more I thought about it, the more my mind raced with possibilities. Was she in some kind of trouble? Was there something about her past that she was afraid to share? Or was it something else entirely?
I replayed our conversation over and over, looking for any clues, any hints that might point me in the right direction. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make sense of it. All I knew was that the Dixie I’d come to care so deeply for was keeping something from me, and that knowledge was eating away at me.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I stared at the ceiling. The room felt too quiet, too empty without her. I could still see the hurt in her eyes, the way she’d looked at me like I was slipping through her fingers. And maybe I was. I couldn’t have a relationship with her if there was something she was keeping from me.
I couldn’t imagine there being anything that would make me want to stay away from her. She wasn’t perfect. Big deal. I wasn’t perfect either. If she was married or living under an assumed name, I could deal with that. Hell, I didn’t care if she was a felon. I felt like I knew her heart and that was what I cared about.
I rolled out of bed and grabbed my phone, half expecting a text or a call from her. There was nothing. Just the silence that had been stretching between us since last night. I hated it. Hated feeling like this—like I was standing on the edge of something I couldn’t control.
I headed to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee I didn’t really want but needed to clear my head.
While I was sipping the putrid coffee, I got a text from Isaac.
Isaac: With the ball and chain?
That was stupid. And rude. And oddly enough, I wished it was true.
No.
He quickly texted me back and asked me to meet him at the bar later. The last thing I wanted to do was go out to the bar, but that was probably exactly what I needed to do. I texted him and let him know I’d meet him at two. I shot Ryan a text and asked if he wanted to meet us. I expected him to politely decline. I knew he was probably knee deep in picking out paint colors or furniture for the nursery.
To my surprise, he quickly replied and said he would be there. I chuckled. Poor guy was probably desperate to escape the home renovation.
It gave me something to look forward to. And honestly, I needed to stay busy or I was going to call and text her or show up at her place. This was a good way to keep me from totally spiraling.
I took an Uber to the bar, fully intending to have a few beers, stuff my face with all the shitty bar food, and lose myself for a while. I definitely needed a break from my own thoughts.
As I walked into the bar, I looked around and saw Isaac. The place wasn’t crowded.
“Alright, man. Let’s do this,” I said as I took the seat across from him.
“What’s on your mind?” Isaac asked as he handed me a beer.
I took a long drink from the bottle before answering. “Just life.”
“Oh shit, trouble in paradise again?” he asked with a laugh. “You guys are off and on more often than I change my underwear.”
“That’s a really gross comparison.”
Ryan showed up fifteen minutes later.
“Damn, you look rough,” I said.
He shook his head while flagging down a server. “You have no idea. My wife is a fucking lunatic. I love her more than life itself, but holy hell.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“She cries all the time. When she’s not crying, she’s puking. When she’s not puking, she’s running a mile a minute picking out stuff for the nursery.”
Isaac and I laughed. “She’s pregnant,” I told Isaac.
“Ohhh.” Isaac nodded.
Ryan looked at me. “I’m not joking. She cried when we couldn’t agree on a fucking rocking chair.”
“She’s hormonal,” Isaac said.
“She’s pregnant,” I murmured.
Ryan nodded. “You know, I thought I was excited about this. But now, I’m scared. We’re bringing another human into the world. And it depends on us. What if we fuck up?”
“You’re freaking out. That’s normal,” Isaac said.
Ryan looked at me. “What about you? You look like hell.”
“Long night,” I muttered.
We ordered wings, poppers, and nachos. I didn’t know what Isaac was stressing about. We talked about Dad’s upcoming wedding, Isaac’s latest conquest and baseball. It was all easy. No stress. Exactly what I needed.
We moved over to the pool table to play a couple games. Ryan sat on one of the stools texting while Isaac and I played the first round. As I lined up the shot, I couldn’t stop the voice in my head replaying last night’s conversation with Dixie. I was only half-listening to Ryan and Isaac talking. My focus kept sliding back to her face, pale and tight with hesitation, and the words she wouldn’t say.
“You’re distracted,” Isaac said, chalking his cue stick with far too much enthusiasm. He leaned over the table, lining up his shot. “I take it things with Dixie aren’t all roses and sunshine?”
I gritted my teeth as the ball thudded into the pocket. “She’s dealing with something. That’s all.”
Isaac raised a brow and smirked. “Sounds like more than just something if you’re brooding like this.”
“Ease up, Isaac,” Ryan said. “We’re here to unwind, not dissect Hayes’s personal life.”
I appreciated the intervention, but the damage was already done. Isaac was looking at me. He was clearly picking up on the negative attitude.
“What’s the deal, man?” Isaac asked. “You don’t usually let stuff get to you. You’re usually all sunshine and roses.”
“That’s not even close to true,” I said dryly.
Although, compared to some of my brothers, I was a little cheerier than they were.
“What’s going on?” Ryan asked.
I exhaled and leaned on my cue stick. “She’s keeping a secret. Says she’ll tell me eventually, but not yet.”
Ryan chuckled, leaning his cue against the wall. “That’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one. Secrets don’t make for good relationships, my friend.”
“She’s not like that,” I said, maybe a bit too quickly.
Ryan put his phone down, giving me his full attention. “Alright, then. What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “And I don’t want to guess. She said it will change everything if she tells me. I told her I’d wait, but…”
“But it’s driving you crazy,” Isaac finished for me.
I nodded, grateful that at least one of them understood without turning it into a joke.
Ryan couldn’t help himself. “Maybe she’s pregnant.”
The statement hit me like a sucker punch. “What?”
“Think about it,” Ryan said, grinning like he’d cracked the code. “She’s acting weird, dodging questions, says it’ll change everything if you know. I mean, I know I have babies on the brain, but what else could it be?”
I shook my head, dismissing the idea as absurd. “Not likely. We’ve been careful every time. You know I’m not careless. I don’t want to end up with fifteen kids spread around the city.”
“Every time?” Ryan pressed, raising a brow.
“Yes, every time,” I snapped.
“Sure you’re little guy didn’t pop right through in the heat of the moment?” Isaac asked. “I’ve had a couple of those cheap ones tear on me. All it takes is one little swimmer.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t spill. That’s not what’s going on.”
At least I didn’t think so. Did I check every condom before I took it off, no, but I was sure I would have noticed.
Right ?
“Then what is it?” Ryan asked. “If she’s not pregnant, what’s the big secret? Why is she waiting to tell you? Is she a bank robber?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Because deep down, I was terrified that whatever it was, it would be worse than pregnancy. Worse than robbing banks. And what if it was something I couldn’t fix? Something that would change everything? What if it changed us ?
“It could be anything,” Isaac said. “Maybe it’s something with her family.”
Ryan shrugged. “I’m just saying, man, secrets like that don’t usually end well. If I were you, I’d think long and hard about how much you’re willing to put up with. If she says she’s going to tell you, why not now? Why wait? I think you need to take a step back from this until you see how this plays out.”
My jaw clenched. “I’m not walking away from her.”
Ryan raised his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, it’s your life. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when this blows up in your face.”
“Ryan,” Isaac said sharply, his tone carrying a rare edge of authority. “That’s enough. I met her. She’s not bad.”
Ryan shrugged. “Trust me, I think you need to guard your heart.”
“Let’s get another drink,” Isaac said.
“I need to get going,” Ryan said. “The wife wants ice cream.”
“See you later,” I muttered.
I was glad he was leaving. I didn’t like the way he talked about Dixie. He didn’t know her. He knew of her through his wife.
Isaac ordered us a round of whiskey. “You know he’s just trying to get under your skin, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, though it didn’t make it any less infuriating.
Isaac sipped his drink. “Look, man, I’m not going to tell you what to do. But maybe confiding in people like Ryan isn’t the best move. He doesn’t get it. And honestly, I don’t think he wants to. I like Dixie. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character. Dixie doesn’t seem like she’s got any ulterior motives.”
I nodded slowly, appreciating his honesty. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“I get why you’re frustrated, though. Secrets can be tough to handle. But you know Dixie better than anyone. If you believe she’s worth it, then trust her. Give her the space she’s asking for.”
“I want to,” I admitted, swirling the amber liquid in my glass. “But it’s hard not to let my thoughts spiral. Especially after what Ryan said.”
Isaac smirked. “Ryan doesn’t know Dixie like you do. Hell, I don’t know her like you do. But from what I saw, she doesn’t strike me as someone who would lie to hurt you.”
“She’s not,” I said firmly. “She’s scared. I can see it.”
“Then that’s your answer,” Isaac said simply. “You’ve got to figure out how to help her feel safe enough to open up. And you need to sort this out before the wedding.”
I raised a brow. “The wedding?”
“Yeah,” Isaac said. “Going stag is better than showing up with drama hanging over your head. Dad already gave you a free pass. I’d use it.”
I sighed. “You think I should give her an ultimatum?”
Isaac shook his head. “No. But I do think you need to have a real conversation about where this is going before things get more complicated. The longer you let this fester, the harder it’s going to be for both of you.”