Chapter 50
CHAPTER 50
HAYES
I walked Dixie’s mother to her car, my ears ringing so loudly I could barely hear the sound of her heels clicking against the lobby floor. It reminded me of a time when I was sixteen, sneaking out of the house to go to a rock concert with a group of friends—middle-class kids who knew how to have a good time without the bells and whistles of my upbringing. I’d walked out of that concert dizzy from too many beers and half deaf from the music. This was the closest I’d ever felt to that.
I felt like I was detached from my body. It was a miracle I was able to walk at all. This was the kind of numbness that came with shock, the kind that made everything around you feel like it was happening to someone else. Dixie’s mother was saying something, her voice sharp and clipped, but the words were just noise.
“Hayes,” she said again, louder this time, snapping me back to reality.
I blinked, focusing on her face. Her expression was pinched, her lips pressed into a thin line. She looked like she was holding back a storm of words she wanted to hurl at me.
“Yes?” I managed to say, my voice sounding distant even to myself.
“Did you hear me?”
I blinked and forced myself to focus. Dixie’s mother was standing by her car door, one hand resting on the frame as she stared me down.
“Sorry, did you say something?” I asked.
She sighed, shaking her head as if I were a particularly disappointing puzzle she couldn’t quite solve. Exasperation. I had seen that look on my mother’s face when I was younger. When I continued to bounce a ball in the house after she told me to stop.
“Just think about what I said, okay?” Mrs. Holland told me. “I know you care about Dixie. But she’s not ready for a child. And I may not know you very well, but I don’t think you’re ready either. All that aside, your family history worries me. It’s nothing personal. I’m just trying to protect my daughter.”
I nodded, my throat tight. “Right.”
She didn’t know the first thing about my family. She was just like every other person in this city that read the tabloids and believed the bullshit. I was surprised she wasn’t accusing me of fathering twenty kids.
“I’ll expect to hear this situation has been resolved.” She got in and looked up at me. Then she started the car and drove away.
I stood there for a few seconds, feeling like the ground had been ripped out from under me.
I went back inside, my mind racing but my body moving on autopilot. The elevator ride up to my penthouse felt like it took an eternity. When I stepped inside, the silence of the space was suffocating. I poured myself a drink, hoping the burn of the whiskey would snap me out of this daze, but it didn’t help.
I was paralyzed by indecision. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
Dixie pregnant. Clearly, it was my baby. At least, I assumed it was. Maybe it wasn’t and that was why she wasn’t telling me.
I dismissed the idea.
No way.
I was certain she had only been with me. I didn’t even have to question that.
I paced the living room, the glass of whiskey forgotten in my hand. My thoughts spiraled—what if she didn’t want this? What if she did? What if her mom was right and we weren’t ready? What if?—
I stopped myself mid-thought. This wasn’t just about me. This was about Dixie. About us. About whatever the hell it was we were building together. And I couldn’t let fear—hers or mine—dictate what happened next.
I couldn’t believe her mother was shaking me down. What the fuck was that about? She was acting like it was an everyday thing for me to impregnate a woman and then write a check.
The audacity pissed me off. I had the good sense not to tell the woman exactly what I thought about her demands I pay Dixie off and never see my child again.
I texted Isaac and told him to come over. It wasn’t a request. It was the equivalent of sending up the bat signal.
Isaac showed up within the hour, a bottle of bourbon in one hand and a look of concern on his face. He didn’t even knock, just let himself in like he always did, tossing his keys onto the counter as he glanced around.
“What’s the emergency?” He walked into the kitchen, where I was nursing my second drink. I poured one for him without a word.
“This seems serious,” Isaac said, taking a sip of his drink. “You sure I’m the guy you want to talk to? Hudson might be?—”
“Dixie’s pregnant.”
The words came out before I could stop them. Isaac’s mouth fell open in shock. He set his glass down on the counter, his expression shifting from concern to disbelief.
It would have been funny if it wasn’t so fucking serious. I imagined I probably looked a little like he did when her mother dropped the bombshell on me.
“What?” he said. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, raking my fingers through my hair. “Her mother showed up earlier. She’s the one who told me. Dixie doesn’t even know she came here.”
Isaac’s eyes widened. “Wait, her mother told you? Not Dixie?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice bitter. “She came here to ask me to write Dixie a check—enough to give her and the baby a ‘comfortable and secure life’—and then bow out. Like that’s all this is. Like Dixie and I are just some fling that’s run its course.”
Isaac’s jaw tightened, his hands curling into fists. “She did what ?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised by his reaction. Isaac had always been protective of the people he cared about. “She wants me to write a check and get lost. She said that’s what Bancrofts do.”
“Fuck that. We’ve never done that shit.”
“I know. I think she’s mistaken us for our uncle.”
“Why in the hell does she think you would do that?” he asked with disbelief. I was glad he was just as offended as I was. I thought maybe I was jumping to conclusions. But clearly, he was taking it the same way I did.
“She thinks I’m not ready for this,” I continued, my anger rising. “She thinks Dixie’s not ready for this. And she made it pretty clear she doesn’t trust me because of our family history.”
Isaac’s expression darkened. “That’s rich, coming from her. What does she know about our family? About you?”
“Nothing,” I said, slamming my glass down on the counter. “But that doesn’t matter, does it? She’s Dixie’s mother. She sees me as the guy who’s going to screw this up. Never mind the fact her daughter never even told me. I don’t even know what to do with that information yet.”
Isaac was quiet for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he processed everything I’d just told him. Then he shook his head, his voice low and furious. “You’re not going to screw this up, Hayes. You’re not our uncle.”
I did my best to distance myself from my uncle, from the legacy of infidelity and neglect he’d left behind. But no matter how hard I tried, the shadow of his mistakes always seemed to follow me. I barely even knew the guy, but we were all going to pay the price for his fuck-ups.
“How do you know that?” I asked. “How do you know I won’t fuck up a kid or this whole relationship?”
“Because I know you,” Isaac said. “You’re not him. You never have been. And if Dixie’s mother can’t see that, then that’s her problem, not yours.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But the doubt was still there, gnawing at me. Did I have what it took to be a dad?
“What if she’s right, though?” I asked with a sigh. “What if I’m not ready for this? What if I mess it all up?”
“Hayes, no one’s ever ready for something like this. But that doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out. You love Dixie, right?”
I nodded without hesitation. “More than anything.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Isaac said. “You’ll figure the rest out as you go. But you can’t let her mother dictate how this plays out. This is between you and Dixie. No one else.”
I knew he was right, but it didn’t make the weight of it any easier to bear.
“What do I do now?” I asked. “She hasn’t even told me she’s pregnant.”
“Ohhhh shit,” Isaac said like all the world’s secrets had just been revealed.
“What?”
“The thing she had to tell you but couldn’t.”
“Yep.” I nodded. “She’s known and wouldn’t tell me. What does that say about her faith in me?”
The question hung in the air between us. Isaac didn’t answer right away. He took a slow sip of his bourbon, his gaze fixed on the amber liquid in his glass.
“It’s not about faith,” he finally said. “Not entirely. Dixie’s scared, Hayes. This is big. Life-changing big. And if she hasn’t told you yet, it’s probably because she’s still trying to figure out how to process it herself.”
“She should’ve told me,” I said. “She told me she didn’t want to tell me her secret because it would change everything. Said she needed time. What the fuck?”
“You can’t expect her to have all the answers right now. Hell, look at you—you’re freaking out.”
“Yeah, I’m freaking out. She’s pregnant and didn’t tell me. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“You talk to Dixie,” Isaac said. “You tell her what her mother said, and you figure this out together. But don’t let anyone else make this decision for you. Not her mother, not our family, no one. This is your life, Hayes. Yours and Dixie’s.”
“This is such a fucked-up situation.”
“I guess Ryan was right,” Isaac said. “You popped a condom.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not funny.”
“No, but it’s probably true. It’s that Bancroft seed. Potent stuff.”
“I guess so,” I muttered.
“Damn, I can’t believe you’ve fallen.”
“Fallen?”
“It’s like dominoes,” he said. “One by one you’re all turning into old guys with kids.”
I groaned, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. “This isn’t falling into anything. I don’t even know what this is. I’m not ready for kids, Isaac. Fuck. I don’t even have plants!”
Isaac just shrugged. “Nobody’s ready until it happens. Then you just figure it out. That’s what people do. That’s what our brothers did. They seem to have found their footing.”
“Easy for you to say,” I shot back. “You’re not the one about to have your entire life flipped upside down.”
“And I’m going to start double gloving,” he said with a laugh. “You’ve got me scared. It’s like walking around with a loaded gun in my pants.”
I glared at him, but there was no real heat behind it. Isaac was always the kind of guy who could make light of even the heaviest situations. It was one of the reasons I’d called him first.
I knew I needed to face this situation head on, no matter how terrifying it was.
“Thanks, Isaac,” I said.
He grinned. “Anytime, brother. You’ve got this. And lord knows you have enough family to lend a hand if you need one.”
“Like you said, it’s not like I have a choice.”
“Well, I brought this bottle and I don’t think you need to talk to her right this minute. You’re already a couple drinks in. We’ll order Chinese, get drunk, and watch YouTube videos about how to change a diaper.”
“Shit.” I sighed and opened the new bottle.