Chapter 68
CHAPTER 68
HAYES
H udson and I stumbled out of the doula office like two drunk buffoons leaving a bar in the middle of the night. The afternoon sunlight hit us like a slap to the face. We both blinked, disoriented, as we tried to get our bearings.
My mind was spinning. It was too much information. I was regretting my decision to learn all about pregnancy and childbirth. Some things should just be left unknown.
“Well,” Hudson said, running a hand through his hair. “That was something.”
I nodded slowly, my mind still reeling from everything we’d just learned. “Yeah. That was a lot. Too much?”
Hudson chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve been there for childbirth, and this was a hell of a lot more informative than that. Diana never told me any of that shit. Honestly, I don’t think it was quite as messy witnessing it firsthand.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound a little shaky. “Good to know.”
I had another appointment in a few weeks, and I’d even booked a session for Dixie and me to do together—if she was interested. I’d learned so much, but I knew it was just the tip of the iceberg.
“I think it’s pretty cool that you made the first move,” he said. “I didn’t do any of that. Kameron didn’t. I think another couple of sessions, and you can deliver that baby on your own.”
I snorted. “Yeah, right. I think I’ll leave that to the professionals.”
“I don’t know,” Hudson teased. “You seemed pretty interested in all those diagrams. Maybe you’ve found your true calling.”
“I was just trying to be prepared.”
“Prepared? More like traumatized.” Hudson chuckled. “I thought you were going to pass out when they showed that video of the birth.”
I felt my face heat up. “I didn’t almost pass out. I was just processing.”
Hudson laughed. “Sure, processing. That’s why you turned green and had to put your head between your knees.”
“Shut up,” I grumbled, but I couldn’t help but smile. “At least I’m trying to learn.”
“You are,” Hudson agreed. “And that’s what matters. Dixie’s lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, man. I’m just trying to do right by her and the baby.”
“You will,” Hudson said confidently. “I’ll see you at the office. I’ve got to finish up a grant request.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I said. “Want coffee?”
“Shit, after making me sit through that, you’re making me crave a drink.”
I winced. “Sorry.”
He chuckled. “It’s fine. Testing my self-control. Which is why I need to get my ass to the office and help save someone suffering the throes of addiction.”
“I’ll get you coffee,” I said. “The strong stuff.”
“Sounds good.”
I walked into the coffee shop, my mind still reeling from the information overload at the doula’s office. The smell of freshly ground coffee beans and baked goods filled the air, grounding me a bit. I approached the counter and realized my hands were still a little shaky. I couldn’t believe all of that was going to happen to Dixie. Women were fucking beasts.
The barista gave me a concerned look.
“You okay, sir?” she asked.
I nodded, trying to compose myself. “Yeah, just… learned a lot about childbirth today.”
I felt like a fool the second I said it. Like this woman cared. I was so discombobulated I couldn’t even control my speech.
She started laughing. “Ah, first-time dad?”
“Is it that obvious?” I asked, a little embarrassed.
She laughed. “You’ve got that ‘deer in the headlights’ look. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
I chuckled, feeling a bit more at ease. “Thanks. I’ll take three large coffees, extra shots of espresso in each.”
The barista raised an eyebrow. “Rough day?”
“You have no idea,” I replied.
As I waited for the coffees, my phone buzzed with a text from Dixie:
Had a talk with my mom. Didn’t go great.
I felt a pang in my chest. I quickly tapped out a message. Do you need me now?
I’m good. Later.
Hang in there.
I collected the coffees and headed to the office. I couldn’t begin to imagine what might have happened with her mother. I hoped it wasn’t too bad, but I had a feeling things were still tense between them.
When I arrived, Isaac was already there, working at his desk. He looked up as I walked in.
“‘Bout time,” he said. “I thought you two were going to play hooky all day.”
“I brought you coffee because I knew you’d complain.” I pulled one of the coffees from the tray and handed it to him.
“Thanks. Someone’s waiting for you in your office,” he said.
“Who? I don’t have a meeting scheduled today.”
Isaac shrugged. “Grayson.”
I inwardly groaned. “The apology tour continues,” I muttered.
“You play, you pay,” Isaac said.
I took the coffee to Hudson, who was on the phone. He nodded once and gave me a thumbs-up.
Now, it was time to face the music. I walked to my office and spotted Grayson sitting in one of the chairs. As usual, he looked very serious. The man was not born with the laughing gene.
“Hey,” I said, closing the door behind me. “I was going to call you later today.”
Grayson nodded. “I figured I’d save you the trouble. I assumed you’d be sobered up by now.”
I sat down, taking a deep breath. I deserved that. “I am very sober.”
“Good to know.”
“I want to thank you for intervening the night of the wedding,” I said. “I was out of line. Things got messy.”
“You were definitely that.”
“You are next on my list to apologize,” I said. “I want to make it clear that is not who I usually am. I haven’t let myself get that stupid drunk since my college days. There were extenuating circumstances. It’s not an excuse, but I lost my head a bit.”
“Because you got a woman pregnant.”
“Yes. That’s not the only reason, but it was one. She and I have since made things right. I’ve apologized to Hudson for taking a swing at him. Isaac and I are fine.”
He nodded. “I’m glad to see you’re trying to make things right.”
“I am,” I said. “For the record, I’m not giving Dixie the money. I had a weak moment, and I was drunk, and I made an ass of myself. But that’s not what I want. It was fear talking. I would have never actually done that. My brothers would have never let it happen. I was talking shit.”
Grayson leaned back in his chair. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’m actually looking forward to being a father,” I admitted, smiling. “I went to a doula’s office today to learn more about pregnancy and childbirth.”
Grayson’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? That’s unexpected.”
I grinned. “Trust me, I surprised myself. But I want to be prepared, you know? I want to be there for Dixie every step of the way. I didn’t start out on the best foot. I’m going to make sure she never has any doubt about my commitment to her and this baby.”
“How did it go?” Grayson asked, curiosity in his voice.
“It was intense,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “There’s so much I didn’t know. Did you know that during pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume increases by fifty percent? Or that the uterus expands to five hundred times its normal size?”
“I’ve got three kids,” he reminded me. “I’ve been down the pregnancy road a few times.”
“It’s wild. I had no idea. Obviously, I knew things happened, but holy shit. Women are fucking rock stars.”
Grayson chuckled, a rare sight. “They certainly are. It’s a whole new world, isn’t it?”
I nodded, feeling excitement and nervousness. “It really is. I’m trying to wrap my head around it all. But I want to do right by Dixie and our baby.”
“That’s good to hear,” Grayson said. “It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You’ll make mistakes—we all do—but as long as you’re there and you’re trying, that’s what matters.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling a bit more at ease. “I appreciate that. And again, I’m sorry for my behavior at the wedding. It won’t happen again.”
“Apology accepted.”
“I still have to apologize to my old man and your mother,” I said.
Grayson visibly shuddered. “I don’t recommend going by the house right now. It’s?—”
“Yeah,” I said hurriedly, not needing him to elaborate. “I know. I made the mistake of going by.”
“You probably need therapy,” he said.
“Something.”
We both sat there for a moment, the awkwardness hanging in the air.
“Anyway,” he said.
“Yep, anyway,” I said, neither of us wanting to think too much about the fact that our parents were probably… busy.
“I’m glad you settled things.” He looked around my office. “It’s a good thing you guys are doing here. I’m glad the Bancroft name is associated with addiction recovery.”
“Me too,” I said.
“I have to go, but we’ll have to get you and Colt together,” he said. “Between our foundation and this one, I bet there’s some collaborating that can be done that benefits both.”
I nodded. “I think he and Hudson talked about doing something like that.”
“Good. I’ll talk to you later.”
Once Grayson left, I sat alone in my office, my mind racing. I pulled out my phone and texted Dixie.
Hey. I’d like to see you on Friday morning. Is your day open?
She texted back a few minutes later. It can be. I’ll see you Friday.
I smiled, feeling a sense of relief. I’ll call you tonight.
Things were good. I felt good.
I turned on my computer and focused on work. I spent the rest of the afternoon buried in work for the nonprofit. There was always so much to do, but I loved every minute of it. Our organization focused on providing addiction treatment and support services to those who couldn’t afford it otherwise. And the families of those that were dealing with addiction. All of us had firsthand experience with the situation.
First on my agenda was reviewing the latest grant proposal Hudson had drafted. We were seeking funding to expand our outpatient program, which had seen a surge in demand lately. I pored over the document, making notes and suggestions. Hudson had done an excellent job, as usual, but I wanted to make sure every detail was perfect before we submitted it.
Next, I had a video call with one of our partner clinics. Dr. Martinez updated me on the progress of several patients we had referred to them. It was always gratifying to hear success stories, even if they were often tempered with setbacks. Recovery wasn’t a straight line, but every small victory mattered. I liked that my brothers and I got to work together doing something awesome. It was better than sitting in an office making billions of dollars that I would never spend. All of us had plenty of money. This was our way of giving back the best way we knew how.