Chapter 1
Summer
A wise woman once told me that we always want what we can’t have, and when we got it, the appeal wore off.
Just think back to being a child and yearning with every fiber of your being for that shiny new toy. Remember that feeling?
Now, remember the excitement that coursed through you when you finally got it, when you finally held it in your hand. And now – suddenly – it wasn’t something you couldn’t have anymore.
Hewas my shiny new toy. A taken man.
My forbidden secret.
I was late again. Dad was going to kill me.
I had promised to be at work on time this morning, but then freaking Tom had to pick a fight. He had to make me late because he didn’t have work today, and he just didn’t care like usual.
After checking my side mirror for a car in my blind spot, I moved over into the middle lane, pressing my foot hard against the accelerator to make the light that had already turned yellow. The car revved loudly in agreement and soared through the now red light. I cringed and prayed the cameras didn’t catch my tag.
I shifted in my seat, clutching the steering wheel tightly, my eyes glancing between the road, the clock, and the speedometer. I was five minutes late. I was just about to give a little more gas when an old lady in a Corolla pulled out in front of me. Cursing, I quickly slammed on the brakes. My bag on the seat next to me flew to the floor. The tires squealed, and I gripped the steering wheel like my life depended on it.
My heart pounded erratically in my chest. Through my rearview mirror, I saw the truck behind me also slam on their breaks.
Florida drivers.
I lightly tapped the gas and pulled into the right lane, passing the old lady who was completely oblivious to my near heart attack. Resisting the urge to flip the old lady off, I continued down the road until I saw the sign for Dad’s and Uncle Ryan’s body shop Built with Attitude. They had opened it a few years ago after Mom and Auntie Ames opened their bakery.
Pulling into my designated spot in the parking lot, I quickly reached for my bag on the floor, checked my makeup in the rearview mirror, and pursed my lips. I was only ten minutes late. I could easily blame the traffic. Dad didn’t need to know about Tom.
Tom would be back to his normal sweetheart ways when I got home later tonight. He’d apologize like he always did, buy me dinner, and kiss me like all our problems didn’t exist.
It had become a once-a-week cycle that I had slowly gotten used to.
Opening the door of my car, I placed one heeled foot on the concrete. Instantly, I was brought back to the moment I walked out of our bedroom this morning.
I had bought a pair of nude block heels over the weekend for work, and this morning, I finally found the courage to wear them instead of my usual black sneakers. I had paired them with black pants and a pink, button-up blouse.
I looked the part of a saleswoman. At least, that was what I had wanted to achieve. Tom had been disgusted with me. He claimed that I was trying to get everyone’s attention, that my shirt showed off too much cleavage, my pants were too tight around my butt, and my shoes were too fancy for a body shop.
It had taken me thirty minutes to get ready this morning – from blow drying my hair to painstakingly attempting a new makeup look – to make myself look older so the men in the industry would finally take me seriously.
And my boyfriend had knocked me right back down to the timid, insecure girl I had been in high school.
My phone rang, pulling me out of the memory, and I quickly answered when I saw my mom’s name flash across the screen.
“Hi, Mom,” I breathlessly answered, finally coming to stand on both feet. I shut the car door behind me and made my way across the parking lot, past what appeared to be a new guy washing a car, and opened the door. We had a new guy in that position just about every other week, so I didn’t bother to stop and try to get to know the guy since the people who filled that position never lasted long anyway.
“Did you make it to work safely, honey?” I could hear the clang of dishes in the background, already beginning to bake for the day.
“Just arrived. Traffic was a nightmare.” Mom sighed. I knew she could hear right through my lie, just like she had my entire life.
“Do you really love him? Is having your heart broken over and over worth it?” I froze at the entrance of the shop, my heart beating wildly against my breastbone. I struggled to breathe. I knew in my heart that he wasn’t worth it, but I didn’t want to be alone again.
I continued through the showroom of the shop and walked through to the back where I punched in my code and leaned against the wall, catching my breath. “I love him, Mom; I really do. I wish everyone would stop asking if I did or not.” I huffed. “It’s so incredibly annoying.”
Mom sighed again. I gritted my teeth, knowing she wasn’t buying that line either. She hadn’t believed any of my lies since we started dating two years ago my freshmen year of college. Did I honestly think things were going to change just because I moved in with him?
“I just want you to be happy, and he isn’t making you happy. He’s wearing you out, tearing you down. I wish you would move back in with us. You know your room is untouched, honey.” I looked up to the ceiling, trying to find the strength to deny my mother yet again.
She had been begging me to move back in for the last six months since Tom asked me to move in with him. Honestly, I wished I hadn’t. Things were so much better before I did. We didn’t fight every day. I had time to do the things I loved. I didn’t know what a pig he truly was, and I was so much happier.
But I would be damned if I had to move back in with my parents and actually admit they were right with disagreeing about the move. My pride wouldn’t take the hit.
“I am happy, Mom. Believe me, I’m really happy,” I lied, the words making my chest ache. When I looked down, my father was standing in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Okay, sweetheart,” she said, letting it go. “I did call to ask a favor. Can you pick up Jesse this afternoon from school? I have to help Ames host an event, and Dad has a meeting.” I mentally checked my schedule. Tom was going out with his friends tonight. It was his weekly ritual to go out to the bar every Thursday night.
Did I like it?
No.
Did I have a choice about where he went?
No.
I was supposed to be on his arm when he needed me. I was supposed to be pretty and keep my mouth shut. I was supposed to be his perfect, little doll.
“Yeah; that shouldn’t be a problem. Tommy’s going out tonight anyway.” Dad impatiently tapped his foot, raising a single, black brow to get my attention.
“Perfect! And plan to stay for dinner. Your brothers miss you.” I couldn’t fight the laughter that easily bubbled from my chest. My younger brothers certainly did not miss me. That was for sure.
“Sure thing, Mom. I gotta go. Daddy is waiting for me.”
“I love you, honey. Have a good day.” I heard the smile in her voice, and it warmed me instantly, all the pain from this morning melting away.
“I love you, too, Mom.” I ended the call and looked at my dad. “Sorry that I’m late – traffic.” I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes.
“Right – as if I’m supposed to believe that. Now, I have a customer coming in this morning,” he checked his watch, “ in about an hour. I would like you to give them a tour of the facility and sell them one of the cars in the showroom. If you need me, I’ll be in the workshop. Ryan and I have to finish a car for delivery tomorrow.” I nodded, trying to keep the nervous energy already bubbling through me to a minimum.
My dad believed in me. He thought I could do this, and so, I was going to prove to him, to my mom, Tommy, and most importantly, myself, that I could do it.
Just like my father, I had a passion for cars, and my dream of running this company with him had started the day he opened the doors. I spent my summers here washing cars, working car shows, doing anything I could to prove to him that I could do this with him.
I was going to college to become an entrepreneur. Dad had handed me my first opportunity on a silver platter, and I would be damned if I let it slip through my fingers.
“You can count on me.” He rested his big hand on my shoulder, his warmth seeping into my cold bones. He smiled, lines forming under his blue eyes, and I sucked in a quick breath at the sudden realization that my dad was getting older. He was no longer the young man who used to carry me around on his shoulders.
“I know I can, sweetheart. It’s not like I’m putting you through college or anything to get that degree, right? I think you’re finally ready to start selling the cars, and if he makes you uncomfortable or you need help, just come get me, you hear?” I nodded again. What did my dad think was going to happen?
“I won’t let you down.”
“You never do.”