32. Deck
Chapter thirty-two
Deck
W hen Cori and I arrived at the Center, her expression and posture changed immediately into the mode I’d come to think of as Boss Cori . Walking through the doors was like crossing into a portal, where she had tunnel vision about stabilizing the Center’s finances and ensuring the gala's success.
In the car, she’d told me about her friend Graham and the commitment to donate he’d made on behalf of his company.
She planned to call other former colleagues to invite them to the gala, and if they couldn’t come, she’d ask them directly for donations.
Her exact words were, “My goal is to make them understand that ‘no’ is not an acceptable answer.”
Boss Cori was so hot.
After checking in with Marisol, Cori went straight to the office, and I headed to the first bathroom, which was nearly complete.
It only needed paint and grout on the tile.
I found Jayden there but not Reign. Sandra, the volunteer, scrolled on her phone in the corner, especially oblivious today with her earbuds in.
“Where’s Reign?” I asked Jayden.
“They’re with one of the staff, doing some art for the big event thing coming up.”
“The Gala for Kids. Good for them. How is the grouting coming along?”
Jayden kneeled on the pads set up under the sinks. Wiping his hands on his thighs, he complained, “I don’t think this work is for me, man. When Reign does it, it comes out smooth. With me, it’s like I’m drunk or blind or something.”
Examining the tile in front of Jayden, I saw that the grout appeared obviously uneven. That’s why I’d had him start behind the sinks, where no one would notice the imperfections.
“Don’t worry,” I assured him. “You’ll get it.”
“I can see from your face that it sucks,” Jayden snarled, rising to his feet. “I don’t fucking need this.” He moved to shove past me.
“Stop!”
I sighed. After everything Cori and I had been through, I’d hoped things with Jayden would go down a little easier. But that was asking too much of the universe. At the first hint this might be difficult, of course Jayden forgot everything we’d discussed the day before.
“We had an agreement. Don’t even think about leaving,” I said. “We put ourselves on the line for you yesterday, and you need to honor your word.”
Jayden cursed under his breath. “I know. But—”
“No buts . I can teach you to grout and paint and all the other stuff. But we both know you’re the one who needs to deal with the shit in your head.
You’ve been given a gift. And not just by me, Cori, and Amos.
That random lady yesterday could have easily talked to the cops and had your ass thrown in jail. ”
Jayden shrugged. “Whatever.”
“No, not whatever.” I mimed his shrug. “You tried to rob a business. With a gun. That wouldn’t have been some bullshit juvie stint or community service, kid.
” The gun part, especially. I might have done less time if I hadn’t had the bat.
According to the justice system, it counted as a “deadly” weapon.
“I’m not a fuckin’ kid.” Jayden straightened his shoulders.
I raised my eyebrows. “Yeah, you are,” I drawled. “Because only a kid would think it wasn’t a big deal to do something that could get you locked up. Only a kid would think prison wasn’t something to be avoided at all costs.”
Jayden studied me. I met his eyes directly, staring until he looked away. Finally, he asked, “You were in, weren’t you? Miss Mari never said, but—”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah. Did almost ten years.”
“You’re the one who got Chi-chi, right? I heard about that.”
I mentally rolled my eyes. At what point would my turning Chi-chi’s face into hamburger not be a neighborhood legend?
“I’m not gonna give you details. It’s enough to say I made a bad fucking choice, on top of a series of bad choices, and that was it. Once you start down that road, there’s a good chance one of your bad choices will be the last one you make. Unless you get off that ride.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“What part of nearly ten years in prison do you think was easy?” I growled. “Yeah, I turned it around in there, made the most of my time. I guess in that sense, I was luckier than some. But ‘easy’ isn’t a word I would use. So maybe shut your mouth about shit you don’t understand, alright?”
Perhaps in response to the icy stare on my face or the knowledge of what I’d done, Jayden relented a fraction.
“It’s not that I want to get locked up,” the teen muttered. “It would kill my ma. My brother, Greg, is inside, and it’s making him…into something else. Even if he does come home, it won’t be him, you know?”
“Hundred percent.” Jayden was a cocky little shit—Amos was right about that—but a perceptive one.
“I just don’t…” Jayden faltered. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“What? You mean like, with your life?” I eyed him.
Jayden nodded. “I always saw myself just doing whatever my brother did. He seemed happy.”
“That’s crazy, Jayden,” I said honestly.
“You have options. I know this is a tougher neighborhood, but plenty of kids here go on to do great things and have successful careers. I get that it’s harder, that there are more opportunities to make bad choices maybe, but there are also ways to make the right ones.
And as far as not knowing what you want to do with your life, that’s okay. Since you’re only sixteen.”
“I don’t feel sixteen,” Jayden admitted quietly. After a lengthy pause he asked, “Do you regret it? What you did to Chi-chi?”
Instead of answering directly, I responded with, “Can I tell you a story?”
He shrugged, and I interpreted that as agreement.
I propped my back against the cold porcelain of the new sinks and ran a hand over my face before speaking rapidly.
“When I was eleven and my little sister was two, my parents went out one night and left me in charge of her. While I was upstairs getting her bath going, I heard shouting from the kitchen. Somehow, she’d managed to light one of the burners on the stove and set her clothes on fire.
” I paused, gathering myself. Most people in my life knew this story, so it had been a while since I’d had to tell it.
“I jumped on top of her and rolled around, smacking her with a dish towel until I put out the fire. I called 911, but she was screaming. Screaming in a way I’ll never unhear it.
The paramedics got there quickly, but there were burns on twenty- five percent of her body.
She had medical issues and surgeries until she was in fifth grade. ”
Jayden digested the information stoically. “That’s what happened to Miss Marisol? Her scars?”
I nodded grimly. “That was my first bad choice.”
He shook his head sagely. “Nah, man. That was an accident. No one would blame you for that.”
“I see that now,” I said, “but only now. And that’s the bad choice I’m talking about, not believing everyone who told me it wasn’t my fault. My parents. My siblings. Even Marisol, once she was older. Instead, I beat myself up about it. For years. I used it to define myself as a fuckup.”
Jayden rested his shoulder against a stall door across from me. “Everyone likes Miss Mari,” he said thoughtfully. “What happened to her sucks. But what does that have to do with Chi-chi?”
“Two reasons. The first is to tell you it’s not the thing that got me locked up that I’d change if I could go back.
It’s the choice to take all the blame for Marisol’s accident, because that one choice poisoned every choice that came after it.
My hunch is you’ve already made a lot of poor decisions, especially lately.
But you’ve been given an opportunity here to change things.
The other reason is that I should have listened to the people who loved me.
I should have listened when I asked for forgiveness, and they said there was nothing to forgive.
I’m holding my situation up to you like a mirror because I want you to see.
You say you don’t know what to do. I’m reminding you that you have people to ask.
People who love you. People who will help you.
Your mom. Everyone at the Center. And now me, okay?
Even if you don’t have it all figured out, you know who has your best interests at heart.
And it’s not your brother’s old crew. Or Alejandro.
Or anyone else who doesn’t care if you get locked up, understand? ”
Jayden fell into a crouch like a blunt object had struck him. “Yeah.”
“Being here is a good start. But stop pretending to have a hissy fit because the grout looks bad. You know that’s not the problem.”
Jayden eyeballed the tile. “Reign is good at it. I’m going to ask them to help me.”
“Reign is a natural,” I agreed. “I’m sure they’d be happy to know you think so too.”
He stood back up and faced me. “It’s almost five. Can I take off? I promised Amos I’d go by the store to fill out paperwork.”
“Uh-huh. But think about what I said.”
Jayden made a noncommittal sound that I supposed was better than open hostility. When he turned to leave, we saw Cori leaning outside the doorway.
Jayden brushed past her with a mumbled, “Hey, Miss Cori.”
“Nice to see you too, Jayden,” she called after him. She tapped Sandra on the shoulder to get her attention. “You can head out into the gym with Chuck to finish your shift,” Cori told her. “Deck won’t be working with the kids any more today.”
Sandra appeared startled to find herself in the same reality as us, but after looking up from her phone for a few seconds, she seemed to reorient to her surroundings and plodded off toward the atrium.
“How much of that did you hear?” I asked Cori.
“Your conversation with Jayden? Enough to make me remember how stubborn you were about letting me help you with your schoolwork.” She smiled.
After checking to make sure we were alone in the bathroom, I circled my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.