Chapter Fifteen
I t takes me less than twenty minutes to get back to my house which has to be some sort of record and I’m pretty sure I got at least two camera tickets in the process, but I’m not sure what kind of headspace Marissa is in and I know the longer she sits with her thoughts the harder it will be to talk her out of it. I know I dropped a pretty large bomb on her and basically told her to trust me . I’m also not exactly sure what Holly was doing by trying to get into that specific garage but I’m fairly certain it isn’t anything pleasant. Those cars are in perfect condition and very valuable and fury spikes in my veins that she could have potentially been trying to damage them or begin the process of trying to sell them.
I pull into my driveway and am already irritated when I see her coming out of the main house still in her pajamas with a cup of coffee. I’m actually surprised she’s not already dressed for the day. It’s Saturday, which means she normally spends the day shopping and then lunch with her friends, and that usually turns into dinner and then a night out.
“You still haven’t told me why you were going in there in the first place,” I tell her as I make my way toward the other garage where there’s a loud incessant beeping. The alarm is through Beckham Securities , so I was able to cancel a dispatch but I made it so I couldn’t disarm this particular alarm virtually. Something, I’m regretting at this moment.
She puts her hands on her hips and gives me a look of annoyance. “I don’t see why my fingerprint doesn’t work just like it does for everything else.”
“Because there’s nothing in here that belongs to you,” I tell her as I press my finger to the keypad to disarm the incessant beeping.
She scrunches her nose in disgust. “So? It’s still a part of my house.”
“Answer my question. What were you doing?”
“I just…wanted to see something.”
“Bull,” I snap.
She huffs. “Fine. Marcia Bradley was bragging that her husband had just purchased some rare car. I think she said only like thirty of them were made or something. I just wanted to see which ones you had.”
At any other time, this may have had my attention, because I am curious about which car and where Bradley bought it, but as there is a zero percent chance he’d sell it to me, I certainly don’t give a fuck at the moment. “You could have asked instead of trying to break in.”
“Like you would have responded,” she says in a tone that makes it seem like she’s bothered or hurt by that fact.
I choose not to dignify that with a response either. I’m not willing to feed into that considering there have been more times than I can count when Holly hasn’t answered my calls or texts while she was out shopping or at a spa with friends.
Unless I was in a meeting, I always answered. Or at the very least sent a message that I’d call her back if it wasn’t an emergency.
I start back towards my car when I hear her speak. “You’re leaving?”
I turn back to face her, surprised and a bit confused that she even cares. “Yes?”
She sighs. “You’ve barely been home.”
“Have you?” I ask, because it’s not that unheard of for her to stay out either.
“Yes.”
“Okay, well that’s a first.”
“I wasn’t staying out fucking around with a guy every night.”
I shrug, because to this day, I’m not sure I believe that she’s never been unfaithful. I don’t have proof; it’s just a feeling. “I don’t know that.”
“I’ve never cheated on you.”
I shoot her an incredulous look. “Do you want a medal for that? That doesn’t just absolve you from all the other shit you’ve done.”
“Can’t you just…stay?” Deflecting, of course.
“For what, Holly?”
“Because I’m your wife and I’m asking?”
I look back at the garage and then at her when a thought smacks me in the face. It’s so obvious that I’m shocked I didn’t think of it sooner. In what world does Holly give a shit about cars in general? Even if she’s just trying to one-up her frenemy. If she cared about my hobbies, she’d know exactly which cars were in there, and where in our house to find which ones they are without even having to go into the garage. God, I’m stupid. How did I not realize this? “Did you…trigger the alarm on purpose?”
“No,” she says and I know she’s lying based on her body language.
I shake my head at her.“You’re joking, right?”
“You’re way off base, Chris.” She gives me her back as she walks toward the house. “Forget it. See you whenever.” She waves a hand over her head.
I want to go after her and get the truth out of her but I know she and I are in for a long road of uncovering truths. Now, I just want to be with Marissa. I told her an hour and I’m already dancing pretty close to that if I happen to hit any traffic on my way back into the city.
I’m back at my penthouse in a little over an hour, and when I enter, Marissa is sitting on the couch in the living room watching a movie. I sit on the coffee table in front of her, grabbing the remote to mute the television, and give her a smile. “Are you mad?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers, her eyes not meeting mine like she’s avoiding my gaze.
“Sorry I was longer than an hour.”
“Is everything okay?” Her voice is soft and filled with something I can’t quite detect.
“I think she did it on purpose.” I sigh. I rarely talk to Marissa about Holly, but it might be time that I start.
She frowns. “Why?”
“Couldn’t tell you. She never cared about me being home before. Hell, she’s rarely home.”
“You’re saying it’s because she wanted to see you?”
“I don’t know. She tried to get me to stay once I got there.” I can see the discomfort all over her face and I move to sit next to her and pull her closer. I expect her to fight me but she lets me wrap an arm around her. “Ask me what you want to know.”
“What happens after you give her the divorce papers?”
“I have to wait and see what she says.”
She runs a hand through her hair and I can feel the tension radiating off of her. “What if she doesn’t agree?”
I let my head fall to the back of the couch with a groan. I don’t even want to put that in the universe. “I don’t know. There’s a waiting period.” I run my fingers down her shoulder. “Will you wait?” I ask her the question I’ve wanted the answer to since she walked back into my life. I’ve been thinking about it since I first slept with her, if I’m being honest.
She turns to face me. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nod. “Yeah. I know you think I’m just doing this for you but it really is for me too. I want to be happy with someone.” She nods and I grab her chin and tilt it towards me. “With you if you’ll let me.” She’s staring at the muted television with her lip trapped between her teeth. “What?” I drop my hand to her leg and rub it gently, trying to alleviate the tension I can feel coursing through her.
“It’s just hard not to feel like a homewrecker.”
It would be easy to tell her that she’s not. That she had little to do with the demise of my marriage. That although she may have been the final push, she certainly wasn’t the catalyst. I turn her face gently to mine and brush my lips against hers. “I don’t know what to do to change that.”
She looks up at me and though I can see the apprehension all over her face, she leans into me and rests her head against my chest. “A part of me wishes I wasn’t already in so deep.”
“I’m glad you are,” I whisper against her forehead.
The door of my office swings open without so much as a knock and just when I’m about to reprimand whoever thought they could just barge in here unannounced, I’m met with the very angry eyes of my hopefully soon to be ex-wife. “I am absolutely not signing this.” Holly stares down at me, her green eyes full of fury as she waves the divorce summons I had served to her this morning. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
In the state of Pennsylvania, if she doesn’t consent to a divorce, we are required to stay married and live apart for one year before I can be granted one. My lawyer didn’t think the fact that she makes my life miserable was necessarily enough for a fault- based divorce that wouldn’t require us to stay married for a year. So, I need Holly to cooperate, and I know she isn’t going to.
“This is not the time or place for this conversation and I don’t appreciate you just showing up here unannounced.” I pull my gaze away from my computer and turn towards her. “What do you want? More money? This already gives you half and monthly alimony payments. That is more than fair.”
“ That is not half,” she says pointing at it and I can’t believe whatever I fucking saw in this woman. I’d do anything to go back in time and do everything differently.
“My statements are provided. It’s half, Holly,” I tell her. I want to be done with this marriage so I already resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to be giving her a pretty significant amount of money. There is no point trying to get around it or lowball her. Holly is going to take me for everything she can and I’m at the point where I’m not going to fight her. I’m exhausted and I want to be free of all the bullshit I’ve dealt with over the past six years. “What, are you going to keep me in this marriage against my will? I want out, Holly. We aren’t in love. We aren’t happy. I made the stupid fucking mistake of not making you sign a prenuptial agreement, so fine, you get half, but I am not staying married to you.”
“You cheated on me. Multiple times .”
“A fact that my lawyer has been made aware of.” It’s also why we offered alimony payments that are higher than standard.
“How can you do this? I’ve given you six years. You wouldn’t even give me a baby—”
“Because bringing a baby into this dysfunctional marriage would have been the worst idea. Are you kidding me? Holly, you don’t love me. You’ve said it on numerous occasions. You love the idea of me and what I do for your socio-economic status, but you don’t love me .”
I turn back to my computer, hoping she gets the picture that I am done with this conversation just as there’s a knock on the door. My heart momentarily stops. While I assume it’s my assistant, I can’t be completely sure and I haven’t had a chance to text Marissa to tell her to avoid my office. Holly hasn’t been here in months so there hasn’t been a chance for them to run into each other and I really fucking hope this isn’t about to be the first time. Marissa’s desk is on the other side of the floor and my hope is that she stays there for the foreseeable future.
“Come in,” I call out, and I try to hide the worry from my voice just as my assistant, Christine, comes in with a cup of coffee that I assume is for Holly. I notice immediately that it’s from the coffee shop down the street and I’m even more irritated that she’s managed to send my assistant on a fucking errand. That means she’s been here longer than I thought.
Fucking hell. Could she have already run into Marissa?
I pull up my text messages with Marissa and I hate myself for what I’m about to send.
Me: Please avoid my office. Stay at your desk if you can, please.
I dart my eyes up just as I see Holly taking a sip of her coffee.
Christine tries her best to smile. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”
I am very aware of how Christine feels about Holly so I know she’s trying her hardest to be polite.
“Oh, this is cold,” Holly says as she attempts to hand the cup back to her. “I’d like it warmer, please.”
“It’s fine,” I grit out. “You can warm it up at home.”
She looks at Christine, her arm still held out and I shake my head. “Christine, you can go. Thank you.” She nods at me, giving me a small smile before she scurries out of the room and closes the door behind her.
“So, I can’t even get a hot cup of coffee?”
“It could have been hot if you didn’t send her two blocks away to get it,” I snap.
Holly is smart enough to ask her before she entered my office or I would have told Christine she absolutely did not have to do that.
She waves a hand dismissively. “It’s her job, Chris.”
“No, her job is not to leave the premises to get you goddamned coffee.”
“We are getting off-topic,” she says slamming the papers down on my desk. “Not. Signing. This.” She taps a finger against the manilla folder with each word before crossing her arms over her chest. “This is all about your newest mistress? You’re that obsessed with what’s between her legs that you’re willing to just blow up your entire life? If you think I’m going to go quietly, I’d think again.” She picks at her nail beds as if the conversation is starting to bore her before her eyes flit up to me. “Marissa, right?” I’ve never been so grateful for a soundproof office because I am sure this is about to get ugly. Anger flashes in my veins and I ball my hands into fists under my desk in an attempt to temper the fury. She pulls her phone out and looks up at me with a raised eyebrow and a smug smile on her red lips. “A little young for you don’t you think?” She drags her finger across the screen and turns it to show me a picture of Marissa from her social media. I am very well versed in all the pictures on her Instagram, having scrolled through it several hundred times.
Fuck. How did she find out about her? Is she having me followed? She doesn’t have access to my phone or any of my communications and even if she were to have somehow hacked into my email, Marissa and I have never communicated that way in any way that wasn’t professional.
“So, can I meet her? According to my sources, she works for Beckham Securities .” She blinks several times. “Tell me, is Wes helping you hide your little trysts? I’m surprised she went for you and not him, if I’m being honest.” Even though I know Marissa wants to be with me, jealousy floats through me that she may have been interested in Beck had it not been for our history. “Or wait…are you sharing her?” She presses a hand to her chest as if in shock.
“Stop.” I grit out. The thought of anyone but me touching Marissa makes me irate. “What do you want, Holly?” I ask, refusing to confirm or deny anything.
“I want us to work on things.” She blinks rapidly at me. “Give up your girlfriend and give our marriage a shot.”
I am trying my best not to lose it but the thought of not being with Marissa is making me feel like I don’t have any control over my emotions. “You’ve lost your mind. I’ve been trying to go to counseling for five years. I’ve suggested divorce more than once and you chose to call my bluff. And what? Now that you realize I’m serious you want to work on things? I think the fuck not.”
“Then I destroy your little plaything.” She shrugs before she points towards the door. “She shouldn’t be hard to find. I know you have fraternization policies in place. She’ll be gone by the end of the week.”
I shake my head, feeling like the walls are closing in on me as I scratch my jaw knowing that the more I show my hand in regards to Marissa the more she’ll realize how important she is to me. “You don’t even love me, Holly. Why are you doing this?”
“We took vows, Chris, and I do love you.” Tears pool in her eyes and if I hadn’t known her for the better part of a decade, I’d think they were genuine, but she’s manipulative as hell and I know her games. “I’m your wife.”
My eyes fall to the folder on the desk wishing like hell she’d just sign them. “You sure as hell haven’t acted like it.”
“I never cheated on you, Chris,” she scoffs.
“There’s more to a healthy marriage than just not cheating on your spouse.”
“It’s a big part!”
“Fine, I destroyed this marriage, Holly. If that’s what helps you sleep at night, fine, but you’re going entirely too far. Blackmailing me into staying married? Are you insane?”
“It’s not blackmail and it’s not forever,” she says shrugging.
“We can argue the definition of blackmail in a minute. Spit out what you fucking want from me.” I can feel my anger rising and I really don’t want to get into a screaming match in the middle of my workday but she’s fucking pushing me with this back and forth.
“I’m willing to wait the year needed for us to file under irretrievable breakdown . Until then, you can move out, and we start going to counseling.”
“Oh, I’m moving out?” I blink at her, confused as to how she thinks she gets to keep the house I pay for.
“You surely don’t expect me to?” I let out a breath through my nose and press my fingers to my forehead to attempt to alleviate the pressure building. “No more Marissa, Chris. I mean it.”
“What gives you any fucking right—”
“The state of Pennsylvania?” She blinks at me. “And if you don’t play by my rules on this, I swear to God, Christopher.” I don’t say anything and she shakes her head. “I knew you were sleeping with other women. I was stupid to let it go on for so long but…you actually think you’re going to leave me for another woman?” She scoffs. “I don’t fucking think so.”
“So, you were okay with sharing my dick, but not me. When you don’t even want either.” I’m out of the chair, my body feeling tense and anxious over the thought of breaking up with Marissa.
Maybe Marissa would be willing to quit working here. I’d write her a stellar recommendation to go anywhere. Hell, our competition if she wanted to. Beck would understand. I think.
I run a hand through my hair as I begin to pace the length of my office. “You’re the fucking worst for this, you know that? I knew you were hateful, but this is on another level.”
“I’m hateful? You’ve fucked half the city behind my back and I’m hateful?”
I glare at her because I wasn’t about to let her make me feel like she was sitting at home crying over it. “You certainly never had a problem with it before.”
She takes a compact out of her purse and pulls the clip out of her hair before starting to fuss with it like she’s bored with this conversation. “You’re saying that makes it okay?”
“Actually, that is exactly what I’m saying. You didn’t give a shit so long as you still had access to whatever you wanted. The only reason it’s suddenly a big deal is because I’m asking for a divorce.”
Her green eyes snap to mine as she closes her compact with a hard smack. “And I’m not saying you can’t have one!” Her tone is bordering on shrill and it makes my skin fucking crawl.
“But you’re going to make me wait a year when you could just sign it now and we could be fucking done with it! You know nothing is going to change, Holly. We are not meant for each other.”
I want to tell her that based on how she acts she may not be meant for anyone until she does some serious reflection, but I refrain.
She takes a step closer to me and puts a hand on my arm. “I think we owe it to each other and this marriage to try.”
I pull out of her grasp as I shake my head. “It’s a waste of time.”
My time and Marissa’s. The thought that she wouldn’t wait the year flashes through my mind.
She’s already mentioned that men don’t leave their wives and she was worried about me making her promises I didn’t intend to keep. How can I tell her that I have to wait a year for us to be together? “I’m not firing her, Holly, and I swear to God if you so much as breathe in her direction, I will find a way to destroy you.”
She grits her teeth and bites out a bitter, “Fine.” She picks up her purse that she’d dropped on a chair when she entered my office. “I’ll leave her alone, for now .”
“Forever, Holly. She hasn’t done anything wrong.” I’m not even sure if I’m on board with these new terms, but I’m not agreeing to shit if she can’t adhere to my only term which is to leave Marissa out of this.
“Except knowingly screw a married man?” She scoffs in disgust. “I’d be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt if she didn’t know, but she works here, so she fucking knows.”
“She didn’t. I didn’t tell her,” I argue, and a part of me wishes I had told her when we first met. I wish she’d somehow known I was married and then she wouldn’t have gotten mixed up with me. I’d made my bed but I asked Marissa to join me and now she could get hurt when I’ve convinced her that this isn’t a problem.
“And it hasn’t come up since? Bullshit. You think no one here has mentioned it in passing?”
“Most people that work for Beckham Securities do their best to forget you exist at all. So, it’s possible you haven’t come up.” I make my way to my office door.
“So, she’s not just a whore but she’s dumb as well because how is it possible that she hasn’t figured it out? Is she just not asking questions?”
“Watch your mouth, Holly. I know it’s your jealousy talking but lay the fuck off. Green really isn’t your color.” It’s a bit below the belt given the color of her eyes, but I’m fucking enraged and it’s taking everything in me not to explode.
I open the door, annoyed that I haven’t succeeded in getting her out of my life, but I can at least send her out of my office. “This is not over, Holly. I just don’t want to get into this any further while I’m at work.”
“I’ll start looking into a marriage counselor.” She gives me a saccharine grin and rubs a hand down my arm.
“You need to start looking into a lawyer,” I tell her, low under my breath. I’m grateful Christine isn’t at her desk, but I don’t know who else may be within earshot.
She rolls her eyes in that placating way as if she’s saying, yes, dear. “So, I should expect you home tonight? I was thinking of making your favorite.” She leans forward to press a kiss to my cheek and pats it in that way she does when she’s trying to patronize me. “Goodbye, honey,” she says, and then she’s moving down the hallway toward the elevator without another look back at me.
Fuck. FUCK. I take a deep breath as I try to calm my racing heart wondering what the hell I’m going to do and more importantly how I’m going to explain all of this to Marissa. I’m about to move back into my office when I notice movement in my periphery, only to find Marissa staring at me with an expression that shatters me.