3. Voyage Ridley
Chapter 3
Voyage Ridley
Anytime it rained, this cleanliness hung in the air that was hard to describe. I’ve gotten some of the best sleep when it rained and it sucked that instead of being sprawled out on my queen sized, I’d been on my feet for the last twelve hours. Along with sore feet, I had a thudding headache that wouldn’t go away, no matter how many Tylenols I swallowed. A crazy thing about it was that this was day two. That was my fault though for letting my cousin drag me to the club knowing damn well I didn’t go out and that I had to open the store for the next two days. Now that my shift was over, I should have been in the car and on my way home, but my shoes were kicked off while I sat Indian style on top of a beach towel with a carryout tray on my lap. The rain had stopped and I was taking full advantage.
“I’m so glad you got out the other night, cousin.”
Biting down on a greasy chicken wing, I held back the scoff.
“I tell you what, that’s the last time I let you send me out,” I sassed with a mouth full of food. If my Madea were alive, she would have reached into my mouth and snatched the food out of it with the way I was scoffing down the dead animal. That lady didn’t play about table manners. Her clocking us when we smacked our lips wrong used to get on my cousin’s and my nerves when we were kids.
“Girl, please! You had a good time! We got so fucking lit in that bitch! Ohh and that nigga! That nigga was so fucking fine! He was riding clean, too! I been waiting for you to lock them books up all day so that you could tell me about your night! I let you make it yesterday because I was nursing a hangover myself, but that’s a wrap. Spill it bitch!”
Even though I was eating on a chicken bone while sitting on an empty beach with a killer view, my stomach soured at the thought of that night, and my headache that seemed like it was just about to fade intensified. My cousin swore up and down Don Julio would give me a relaxed feel. But, yesterday when I looked back at her stories on snapchat from our night while on my thirty minute lunchbreak I saw wasn’t shit about the way I acted relaxed . I showed my natural black ass.
“Did I tell you how much I hate you?”
My appetite was officially gone, and I knew the food would be forgotten when I got home, so I stood, walked the short distance to the trash to toss it, and headed to the shoreline. I left my purse and towel planted in the sand, but I wasn’t worried because I hadn’t ventured far, nor did anyone frequent this side of the beach. It was about a fifteen-minute walk from the bookstore, Reader’s Paradise, where I was the store manager. Even though my feet were on fire, I enjoyed the walk. I welcomed it even. The sun had set, but the moon hadn’t appeared yet. Looking out into the water, the sky fading from blue, to grey, to orange, and meeting right at the aqua waters was one that I could never tire of. Most people who had been born and raised in Ausnor didn’t visit any of the beaches at all once they reached adulthood. Many of us were burnt out from family reunions and field trips to the beach growing up, but not me. I visited the beach every single day. Even if I was fully clothed without sunscreen, a bathing suit, or a towel, I came. It was nothing like feeling the hot sand underneath your feet, and when it became too unbearable, I would walk into the water, not caring if it soiled my pants. My cousin Baela who I was currently pissed at didn’t do the water like I did. It was fine; I truly enjoyed my alone time with the ocean.
“You couldn’t hate me if someone paid you a million dollars to do so. Now, tell me all about the fine ass Nipsey Hussle look alike. He walked with a limp so I know that dick is long.”
“Ha,” tossing my head back, I laughed. Not caring that I was wearing a long skirt, I walked into the water, and its coolness caused me to shiver.
“You funny. And with the way my feet hurting and these bills piling up, I will most definitely hate you for a million dollars.”
My body burned in remembrance of all the things I’d experienced. You would have thought it happened last night because my girl was still sore. Thinking about him was something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to go down that hole because I should never have gone home with him. But I knew Baela wouldn’t let up. I was surprised she’d even waited this long to get the details.
“That man doesn’t look shit like Nipsey Hussle.”
“Stop acting like the great late Nipsey wasn’t fine.”
“Never said he wasn’t, but that man didn’t look like him,” I drawled.
One would have thought I was too drunk to remember what my one-night stand looked like due to how many shots I took. But I remembered. My cousin would have never let me hop on the side of his pretty ass two seater had I been incoherent. I was drunk, not sloppy. Drunk and horny and that man had given me way more than what I fucking bargained for.
“Come onnnn. You know my man is locked the fuck up and won’t see the light of day outside of the prison yard for the next three years. My coochie so sick of me and that rose that she’s damn near raw from all the simulation of the silicon. Tell me what happened and do not leave a detail out.”
Baela’s fiancé, Riker, was locked up and had been for the last two years. He’d been facing twenty years due to a trafficking charge but Tony who was the best damn lawyer in the city had gotten him down to five. Baela was pissed that her man had to do time at all but, five was a hell of a lot better than twenty and Riker shared my exact sentiments. I couldn’t wait until Riker touched down because there was no way I was going to let my pussy be used as a decoy for Baela. She was loyal as she should be because Riker had been taking care of her since we were seventeen. He was still taking care of her behind bars. Baela had a career as a RN where she made damn good money and let her tell it she was only working all those twelve hour shifts so that she didn’t run through Riker’s funds. That man’s operation was still being run while he was in jail. He still had his trap houses, and his guys brought Baela money every week. He wasn’t running out of money, but I commended her. The three thousand square foot home they shared was paid off in full, and so was Baela’s Lexus truck. She didn’t have any bills. Their money was stacking, and the fact that she would rather work than spend her man’s coins was commendable. But, with the way my feet were barking, if my man had left me some money, I would maybe work part-time. Fuck that.
“It’s not much to tell. We were both drunk, so when he pulled up to his house, we had sex. He did have a big dick. It was almost too big. I nutted, he nutted, then we passed out. Thankfully, my bladder woke me up because I had to open the store. I ordered an Uber and got out of there.”
“Uggh. You make shit sound so boring. So, y’all didn’t do no foreplay? No rubbing, kissing, or touching. He just bent your ass over like a dog and took the pussy?”
“What? You make it seem like I got assaulted. No, we did not kiss. I have no idea where that man’s mouth has been. You were at the club, so you can attest that we both were drunk. You know how I am off the liquor. I don’t need no foreplay when I’m intoxicated.”
Lie. I lied through my fucking teeth. That man slobbered all over me like we were standing at the altar. With the way he was sucking on my face I just knew the pussy eating skills were immaculate. Not only did I omit the kissing, I also left out the part where he most definitely didn’t hit me from the back like I expected. He wanted me on top of him doing splits and shit like I was one of those dancers from the Pleasure Pad and then he got on top. We also had foreplay. He sucked my titties so hard that he left passion marks all over them. He’d even marked up my neck and jaw so much that I had to use makeup. I oversaw the busiest bookstore in Ausnor, and being so close to the beach, we received a certain caliber of customers. Today, we had an author who had a New York Times bestselling kids' book on tour at the store, and we were swamped.’ There was no way I was showing up to work with hickies.
“Yeah, you were definitely freaked out that night.”
“I was not! Oh he did ask me to dance for him-”
“Pwwwwuah,” Baela’s dramatic ass spit out whatever it was she was drinking. More than likely, tea to help her sleep since tomorrow starts the first of her three twelve-hour shifts. Sometimes she even did ten-day stretches where she worked full shifts. Again, she was better than me.
“Not he asked your non dancing ass for a show!”
My cheeks warmed in embarrassment as I looked down at my skirt floating in the current. I was only in the water up to my ankles, but that was enough to cause a weight on my clothing.
“I must’ve done a good job because he threw money on me and everything. Now that I think about it, I’m mad I left it on the floor.”
When I woke up in my right mind, I was only worried about getting the hell out of that man’s house. Seeing him while he was sober, long dick stuck to his thigh with our dried juices on it had me wanting to take another ride on him. But I refrained. There was no damn way I broke my yearlong celibacy on a stranger. Granted, he wasn’t my first one-night stand. Baela sent me out years ago when Riker first got locked up but that sexcapade was one that I’d forgotten over the years. I didn’t even count that man as a body. When I told her how terrible the sex was, she had the nerve to say to me that she would be better at selecting my next victim. What? Thankfully I got in a relationship shortly after thinking that was going to save my cooch but that relationship turned out to be the one from hell.
In my relationship, I took a page out of my cousin’s book and was just as faithful as her, but before that, she was hyping me to show the men my mama made a hoe. I liked sex just as much as the next woman, but I could never hoe the cat out. I’d only had six partners my entire life and compared to some women out here in Ausnor, that was damn good especially since monster dick made the sixth.
“The more I listen to this story, the more I want to kick your ass. Cousin! I checked your location, and when I picked up my grocery order earlier, I drove by his house. I wanted to go by yesterday but my fucking head was spinning. Anywayyyys. That bitch is nicccceeeee! He lives right on the ocean. You know how much you like the beach. Auntie should have named your ass Flounder.”
“Damn, not even Ariel?”
“You know what I mean! That man isn’t just a fake flexer. He is paid out the ass. Now he had cameras and shit around the gates and whatnot but I was able to see enough. Only the rich live over there. Not only would I have given that nigga a dance but he would have been licking me from the front to the back and I would have done the same to him.”
“Ewww,” I fake gagged.
“What the hell were you and Riker doing over there?”
“Grown shit. You think he put a ring on it for nothing? But for real. I would have at least gotten the man’s number. Fine, paid and a big dick? Shit, I would have ran that light skinned ass nigga’s pockets at least.”
I’d sworn off the redbones. Nowadays, I like my man with a bit of melanin in his skin. The last light-skinned man I dated left me high and dry. Not only did he leave me, but his absence from my life, amongst other things, caused me to go into a deep depression. It had been nearly a year since he left and even though our relationship lasted a year before that, I still loved his ass. I loved him like I had never loved another man, and when I wouldn’t give in to his demands and move on his time, he left me. I vowed celibacy, and I promised myself I wouldn’t give another light-skinned man a second glance. That is, until last night. Fuck I gotta stop listening to Baela.
The sounds of the waves overlapping were nearly louder than Baela’s voice. Usually, I wouldn’t even be on the phone with her during my beach time, but she wouldn’t stop calling. She’d been itching to get the details of my one-night stand, but I wasn’t even on that type of time with him. Whoever he was.
“The night we shared was fun. I can’t lie like the nut wasn’t needed because it was. I hadn’t had sex in nearly a year. I almost forgot what the male parts felt like. I did enjoy myself, and him being attractive and paid made the experience much more pleasurable. The sex was great.”
So great, it moved me to tears.
“What’s the but? I hear one brewing,” Baela dragged.
“But, I’m going back to practicing abstinence. You and I both know that everything that looks good isn’t good. I want to heal and focus on moving forward. Men are the least of my worries.” Even if they are rich fine and got a big dick.
Baela grew quiet, and I knew that was because she chose her words carefully. My cousin, as overbearing as she was at times, meant well. She more than anyone knew the hell my life had been for the last year. Well, she knew most of it. I was just now able to sleep through the night. I appreciated her for not kicking me when I was down and for not leaving me when I needed her the most. There had been days when I felt like I was losing my mind, and I vowed that I would never let a man make me feel that way again.
“Voyage, I hate what Dutton did to you. He left you without warning. It was bad enough that he was already living off of you! Broke ass nigga! Had we known he was capping with all of his uncle’s cars and clothes that nigga would have never made it to boyfriend status. He is a bum ass nigga. But fuck him. I’m here for whatever you need, and you know I would never leave you out to dry. I know my bored ass be pushing you to do some crazy shit and I apologize if I overstep but, I want to see you smile. You too fine to not have a nigga that’s not gone play about you. You deserve all the finer things in life, cousin, and I want that for you. Plus, you got up with Dutton the last time I let you choose your own lay. I told you that nigga looked like a fraud but the car and jewelry was throwing me. I want to beat his ass for catfishing us both.”
Even though tears had sprouted from my eyes from being overwhelmed with emotion, I couldn’t fight the laugh. Baela had always been suspicious of Dutton Chester. By the time we found out he was broke and living off his uncle, who was a retired dope boy, it was too late; I was already in love. Silly fucking me. Then, I let him convince me to get an apartment way above my means, knowing he wasn’t contributing to it. With the lack of funds came the lying, the cheating, the fighting, all the while I’d suffered from depression since I was a kid.
It started when my mother died and has never gone away. Baela’s mom and mine were sisters who were the ultimate party girls. They dumped their responsibilities on their mother and ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and were shot and killed. That did something to me. My grandmother didn’t know how to deal with my depression, so she signed me up for counseling. My therapist had me on meds, but sometimes they wouldn’t work. When Dutton found my pill bottles, instead of being supportive, he made fun of me and threw them in my face. To add insult to injury, he left me because I wouldn’t let him get me pregnant. We were in no position to get pregnant, but Dutton didn’t want to hear that. He packed up all the shit I’d bought him, left me with the high ass rent and a broken heart and I hadn’t seen him since.
“That nigga lost his mind thinking you was about to get pregnant when he knew-”
“Baela, I get it. Dutton was a loser. You most definitely pick out all the good ones while I pick out the inconsiderate bums.”
“Cousin,” her voice softened. “I’m not trying to point fingers and boast I told you so’s. I want to see you happy, that's all. Even if it will take some time to return to normal, I want to see you smile. You know, out of all people, I ain’t rushing you to get in a relationship. Last time you were in one, I only saw you on FaceTime. You know I’m lonely.” She chuckled.
It was true. The year I was with Dutton, I all but stayed up under his ass. He didn’t want me going anywhere unless it was work, and that didn’t last long as he convinced me to work from home. Baela was over bearing but she wasn’t that damn overbearing so she never pulled up on me unannounced. She just took whatever I gave, and now looking back, that wasn’t fair. Her man had only been in jail a few months at the time, and she needed me. Still, I turned my back on her. I regretted so many things from my last relationship, and that was one of them. I should never have shut my big cousin out.
“When Riker gets out, you're going to pay me back and ghost me,” I joked, but the thought of it low-key spooked me. She was all I had, and losing her would be the end for me.
Baela yawned, “Girl, please. Riker knows what it is with me. I know how to lick balls at night and hang with my cousin during the day.”
“You’re licking more than balls.”
“Bitch please. Have you seen my nigga?”
Riker was fine but he wasn’t that damn fine.
“Anywho, I’m possessive, so don’t answer that. But take your ass away from the ocean Orca and walk to the car. I’m getting sleepy and want to make sure you get in safely before I hit this king. You know my shifts start tomorrow. They say working in a nursing home is easier than a hospital, but I digress. These hoes spend more time on their asses charting than working.”
Taking one last look at my peace, I emerged from the water, tied my damp skirt in a side knot, and made the short walk to my towel and shoes. Once my feet were dried, I dusted the sand from the fabric, folded it, tucked it under my arm, and crossed my purse over my body. I wasn’t worried about anyone harming me because crime was few and far here in the midtown area. Just in case there was an incident, I had mace.
Depression still kicked my ass a little but, I’d come a long way. There were still days I cried and couldn’t get out of bed, but for the most part, I was holding it together. That two-thousand-dollar rent Dutton left me with, plus the car note, I could now pay with ease. It was as if, as soon as I started hitting my knees and praying, things started turning around for me. When I thought eviction would swoop in and kick my ass out, I got the store manager job at the book store making sixty five thousand a year and even though it wasn’t much to some it was more than enough for me. I was able to pay my rent and car note, but I still have money left over. I was comfortable, even though I did have days when I wished my circumstances were different. That man had done a number on me, and I knew even though he was out of my life, he'd made a mark that forever changed me. The dick I got was a good distraction out of miseryville but the fact remained that a man had taken me to my lowest and I would never let another one do that again. I wasn’t a bitter male hater but it was Fuck love.
“Cousin. You really was eating Riker’s ass?”