4. Rainah
CHAPTER 4
RAINAH
As I sat across from PJ, I was annoyed with myself for not canceling our dinner date. After I left Scoops, I did an hour on the treadmill, and I was still fuming when I was done. I stuffed my face with ice cream, and I even had a good cry. My mood was still trash, however. Cancelling crossed my mind ten times, but I knew PJ’s persistent ass wouldn’t let up. Jeovanni absolutely had a right to be upset. Maybe I even deserved for him to tell me off, but he didn’t have to be as rude or hurtful as he was. Jeovanni’s words cut me like a knife. I could never compare to his children, but to see him basically gloating about the fact that he didn’t choose me over the streets didn’t feel good.
“Earth to Rainah. Where you at over there? You seem a million miles away.”
Shifting in my seat, I cleared my throat and picked up my glass of wine. I had no way of knowing if PJ and I were going to get serious. According to him he was dating to marry, and he wanted kids. I made more as an attorney than he did as a police officer, but that didn’t matter to me. I wanted a man that was stable and a good role model for my kids. I’d rather them grow up in a house with a police officer versus a drug dealer, and I refused to apologize for that. I still wasn’t sure if I should tell PJ about Jeovanni. Even if I did want to gouge his eyes out at the moment, I couldn’t tell PJ the real reason that I kept my boys a secret from Jeovanni. There was no way I believed he had walked away from the game, and I’d never incriminate him to a police officer.
“I just had a really long day. I’m sorry. How was your day?” I offered him a small smile. It didn’t take much thought for me to decide that I’d hold off on revealing too much about the situation with the father of my sons.
“Hectic. I’m so glad to be off for the next three days. I have a busy day tomorrow and a lot of rest that I need to catch up on, but maybe I can see you on one of my days off?”
“I don’t know, PJ. I start work next week, and there’s a lot of things that I need to get in order. The best time to get it done is while the boys are at school. And since I could possibly be working long hours, I don’t want to keep spending evenings away from them.”
The fact that each time I saw PJ before the date could end, he was already asking when he’d see me again was annoying. Yes, my children had family that had missed out on almost five years of their lives that didn’t mind watching them. I just wasn’t there yet to constantly be going out and leaving them. Finding out I was pregnant before my career started was upsetting for numerous reasons. If I wanted to prove myself as an attorney and be able to charge top dollar, I had to take on challenging cases. Challenging cases meant eating, breathing, and sleeping work. That kind of dedication and small kids didn’t mix.
Once I told the boys about Jeovanni, I knew they’d be excited to get to know him and spend time with him. More than likely, they’d treat me like chopped liver. Jason and Jordan loved sports and things like fishing. It used to make me sad that they didn’t have men in Charlotte to do those things with. Now they would have Jeovanni and Jovani.
“I get it. I can be patient. I waited years for you. Now that I finally have a chance, I don’t plan on fumbling you. Soon enough, you’ll see that I’m very serious about being in your life. When you’re comfortable enough to introduce me to your sons, we’ll all be able to hang out together.”
The way I had to force a smile was insane. PJ’s words shouldn’t have made me uncomfortable, but they did. I wanted nothing more than for Jason and Jordan to grow up in a two-parent household, but thoughts of PJ being their stepfather almost gave me the ick. I wasn’t feeling that way before seeing Jeovanni, and I hated that seeing him had altered the way I felt. There was no chance in hell of a reconciliation between me and Jeovanni. It didn’t even look like we’d be able to coparent in a mature manner. When I didn’t respond, PJ changed the subject.
“How do you feel about starting work?”
That question got a genuine simper out of me. “I’m excited. A little nervous. Tony Waldorf’s name rings bells. He’s a big deal. I think he’s been practicing for more than fifteen years and hasn’t even lost fifteen cases. There are only three other female attorneys at his firm, and I’m the only black one. I have a lot to prove.”
“You’re going to do great. He knows you have potential. Look at how fast he hired you. You had the fastest interview known to man.”
I chuckled before sipping from my glass of wine. “Maybe, he just needed some color in the office, and I was it.”
“Maybe you should stop overthinking and doubting yourself.”
Setting my wine glass down, I gave a curt nod. “You’re right. I tend to do that a lot. I’m going to go in there next week and kill it.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” he smiled. Maybe giving PJ a chance wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t a bad guy. Being back in Ausnor Beach had me in my feelings, but it would pass. Especially if Jeovanni kept being a complete asshole. Even after all that time, to think I hadn’t completely gotten over him made me feel really stupid. Pushing a good man like PJ to the side to mourn what could have been was insane.
A hostess walked past our table, and the three women following her brought various scents with them. They all smelled expensive. Glancing up, I could only see them from behind, but they had the typical coke bottle shapes, were dressed in designer, and had on six-inch heels. PJ chortled.
“It’s happy hour. The gold diggers are out looking for men with money. Well, I guess two of them are. Celine already struck gold.” My brows hiked. Men that gossiped turned me off. To me, that was such a feminine trait.
“How do you know they’re gold diggers? Maybe they have their own money, and they’re here for drinks and food.”
“Nah not those hoes. Celine was the ringleader until she bagged Jeovanni Bendetti. I doubt there are too many men in here that can top the amount of money that he has.”
I swallowed down a lump, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the fact that Jeovanni was spoken for or if it was because PJ seemed to be very familiar with Jeovanni. Clearing my throat, I shifted in my seat, “You know Jeovanni?”
Interest flickered in PJ’s orbs. “Yeah, I’m familiar with him. I frequent his bar, and I’ve been to his grandmother’s pool hall a few times. You know him?” PJ stared at me intensely as he reached for his glass of cognac.
If we continued to date, he’d find out who my boys’ father was anyway. “Jeovanni is actually the boys’ father. We kind of grew up together and had a brief fling before I left for college.”
PJ’s eyes widened, and I could see that he was shocked. “Jeovanni Bendetti is your kids’ father?”
He was saying it like I said Jesus was the father of my kids. As a police officer, I was sure he knew of Jeovanni’s illegal dealings. Or maybe he didn’t because Jeovanni was still free. “Yes, he is. Why do you seem so shocked?”
PJ downed his drink. “I guess maybe I don’t know…” his voice trailed off. “I assumed your kids’ father was some deadbeat loser. Jeovanni has plenty of money, and he just doesn’t strike me as the type.” PJ spoke slowly, and I was sure there was more to how he felt than what he was saying.
“It’s a long story, and I really don’t want to get into it, but it’s kind of my fault. Jeovanni didn’t know about Jordan and Jason until today. He’s quite upset actually. Once he calms down, we’re going to have to figure out a way to coparent.”
PJ waved the waitress over, and he ordered another drink. The fact that Jeovanni Bendetti was the father of my kids seemed to send his emotions into overdrive. Maybe he thought because Jeovanni had money that I still wanted him or something. I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to talk about it. PJ was quiet as he waited for his drink to come, and the moment had turned awkward.
“Is something wrong?” I finally asked.
“No nothing is wrong. Jeovanni is a pretty well-known man in Ausnor Beach. He has a lot of connections. Hopefully, once he finds out I’m going to be in you and the kids’ lives, he won’t give me too many problems. I’d hate for things to get ugly.”
My eyes narrowed, but I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I wasn’t sure why he would think things would get ugly. Jeovanni wasn’t checking for me at all. But if a police officer basically talked about Jeovanni’s power and connections, it solidified my concerns that he was still in the streets. Suddenly, I felt that coming back to Ausnor Beach might be a mistake.
* * *
I sat on my couch Indian style with my laptop perched on top of my folded legs. I hadn’t officially started work yet, but Tony had sent me a file to look over. I blocked out the twins’ arguing in their bedroom to study the documents. I was on the fence when Tony told me the details of the case. A doctor was out on bond after being accused of sexually assaulting two different minors. I was concerned about the case, but I assumed that maybe they were teenagers or something. As I took in the details in front of me and saw that one of the victims was only eight years old, I had to resist the urge to throw up. My heart raced as I read more and more of the details and although this man was supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, I had no desire to represent him.
There was no semen or bodily fluid on the victims, but a piece of the man’s hair had been found on the first victim. Of course, any lawyer would argue that the hair could have been picked up from anywhere. Doctor or not, his mugshot gave me sleezy, pervert vibes, and I believed the victims. Why the hell would an eight-year-old lie? My body grew warm, and I yanked the computer from my lap and placed it on the couch. I had just put my head in my hands when the doorbell rang. I knew it was my cousin, Ashton, so I opened the door without even looking through the peephole.
The moment she saw me, she frowned. “What’s wrong with you? You look like you have to vomit.”
“I do.”
Walking back over to the couch, I plopped down and pulled my knees to my chest. “I should have stayed in Charlotte. Coming back here was a huge mistake. I should have talked Grandma into moving to Charlotte with me.”
Ashton’s brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“The first thing is, Jeovanni knows about the kids, and he’s pissed. I’m talking, I wouldn’t be shocked if he took a hit out on me pissed.”
“You had to know that was coming, Rain. He’ll get over it. He’s probably more shocked than anything. When are you going to tell the boys about him?”
I rubbed my temples. “I’m not sure. He said he was going to get a lawyer, and if that’s what he wants to do, it’s fine. I just don’t want to tell the boys about him, and they become anxious to meet him. If he refuses to come through me, the boys will just be waiting. I don’t want to do that to them.”
“He’s going to come around. You know Jeovanni can be hot-headed. You were wrong.”
“I know that,” I snapped. “I’ve known it for five years. I’ve heard it 5,000,000 times. I got it. Trust me.”
Ashton held her palms up in surrender. “I’m just saying. He has a right to be upset, but I think he’ll come around. Jeovanni wouldn’t rather go through a lawyer than you. I don’t care what he said in the heat of the moment. I bet if you called him now and told him to come meet the boys, he’d come in a heartbeat.”
She was probably right, but I couldn’t be too sure. That day at Scoops, Jeovanni looked like he wanted to murder me. I had never seen him that angry. “Did you know he had a girlfriend?”
Ashton snorted. “Celine? Yeah, I know about her fake ass. She was on Love and Hip Hop for two seasons. She used to date a real popular Miami rapper. She’s gorgeous with a banging body and the personality of a zebra. She really thinks she’s a celebrity and that people are supposed to cater to her.”
She definitely looked like a good fit for Love and Hip Hop. “Great. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to find out that Jeovanni has kids.”
Ashton’s scowl deepened. “If I know Jeovanni, he won’t care if she isn’t. I’m sure he loves her, and he doesn’t even know the twins but nah, Jeovanni would never choose a woman over his kids.”
He damn sure wouldn’t choose a woman over the game. Hearing Ashton say that she was sure Jeovanni loved Celine was like a punch to my gut. Even after five years, I wasn’t ready to hear about him loving someone else.
I needed to get Jeovanni off my brain even if it was only for a little while. “So, Tony sent over a case that he wants me to take. A doctor that’s being accused of sexually assaulting an eight-year-old and a thirteen-year-old.”
“Woah. Do you think he did it?”
“The evidence isn’t looking too good. I’m supposed to plant doubt in the jury’s minds that he could have done the crime, but I’m not so sure he’s innocent. It’s kind of my job to get him off. This wasn’t the side of the law that I wanted to be on. I wanted to make sure guilty people got put away. Not learn how to become the best at getting them off. If he did that to children, he needs to be locked up.”
“So don’t take the case.”
I sighed. “I wish it was that simple. I doubt Tony passed on the case because he’s so busy. I doubt any of the other attorneys at the firm were too busy to take it on. I think he gave me the case to see what I could do or if I’d even take it. If I don’t take it, I’m not sure what that means for my future at the firm. I would love to say I don’t care. But I need a job.”
“He can’t make you take a case that you don’t want to take. Go over all of the facts with a fine-tooth comb and when it’s all said and done if you aren’t comfortable taking the case, don’t do it.”
It was all easier said than done, but I was going to do just that. I would look over the case some more and more importantly, I’d talk to Mr. Bowman and get his side of the story. Until then, I wouldn’t make any decisions or stress myself out.
“Cousin, you’ve got to relax. I know things are stressful, but don’t doubt yourself for coming back to Ausnor Beach. Grandma missed you. I missed you, and I know that Jordan and Jason would love to get to know Jeovanni. Things will work themselves out. And as for Mr. Waldorf, he can’t make you take any cases that you’re not comfortable with. His firm isn’t the only law firm around.”
I was still worried, but I gave Ashton an appreciative smile. My grandmother always told me that worrying didn’t solve anything, and she was right. Hopefully, Jeovanni would come around, and I could let him build a relationship with his sons while I figured out my work situation. Even if he started helping with the boys financially, I still had bills that weren’t his responsibility. I needed a consistent paycheck coming in and blowing it at the firm wasn’t a sure way to make that happen. Even if I left Mr. Waldorf’s firm, if he didn’t give me a good reference or I got a reputation for being problematic, no one else would want to hire me.
I wasn’t sure what my next move would be, but I needed to get it together fast.