Chapter 41
HUDSON
The pounding in my head had dulled slightly by the time I met up with Jessie at the pool hall. My intention was to go to the rental house and sleep for two days. That was about the only thing that would cure the hangover. But Jessie called and asked me to hang out. Diana told me they all hated me. Maybe not Jessie since he was a rebel.
I walked into the pool hall, thankful for the low lighting. I was still feeling the lingering effects of the hangover.
The familiar scent of stale beer and cigarette smoke washed over me, mingling with the sound of clinking pool balls and muffled conversations. Jessie was already there, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a beer and watching the game unfold on the table in front of him.
“Hey, Hudson,” he greeted me with a nod as I approached, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “You look like hell.”
I chuckled weakly, sinking into the chair opposite him and rubbing my temples in a futile attempt to alleviate the throbbing pain in my head. “Thanks, Jessie. I feel like hell.”
He chuckled, taking a sip of his beer before setting it down on the table. “Rough night?”
I nodded, feeling a pang of guilt as I remembered the events of the night before, the argument with Diana that had left us both feeling raw and exposed. “Yeah, you could say that. Never mix champagne and whiskey. At least not copious amounts of either.”
Jessie raised an eyebrow, his expression curious. “What happened?”
I hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal about my personal life to Diana’s brother. “Can we order some food?” I said. “I feel like I have some serious alcohol sloshing around in my gut. It’s the first time I feel like I could eat.”
“Sure.” He shrugged. “I like a juicy burger to cure my hangovers.”
I nodded. “Perfect. But I need baked fries or tots. I don’t think grease is going to settle well.”
Jessie signaled to the waitress. “Two burgers,” Jessie said. “Give him some of those baked wedge things. I want fries.”
“Coming right up,” she said and walked away.
“Where’s Diana?” Jessie asked.
“Home, I guess.” I shrugged.
“Uh oh.” He sighed. “What happened?”
I launched into the story of the night in New York City with Diana, the highs and the lows, and everything that had happened between us.
“We had a great time at first,” I admitted with a sigh. “But then things took a turn for the worse. I had too much to drink. She didn’t say it last night, but this morning I could tell she was pretty pissed at me. On the way home, we had this big argument. Now she’s back home and I don’t know where we stand.”
Jessie listened quietly, his expression sympathetic as I poured out my heart to him. When I was finished, he leaned back in his chair, taking a moment to digest everything I had told him. I realized I was talking to Diana’s brother, but he was the closest thing to a friend that I had. And he knew Diana. He would know how I could handle this.
“Sounds rough, man,” he said finally, his voice soft. “But hey, maybe it’s not as bad as it seems. You guys just need to talk things out, figure out where you went wrong.”
“She’s pissed that I drank too much,” I said. “It was the first time I’ve got drunk in a while. She made it seem like I was scum. Like I wasn’t good enough. She said your family is all good. She implied I might be fighting for the seat next to the devil in hell.”
“You don’t get it, Hudson,” Jessie said. “Diana’s had a big weight on her shoulders ever since she was a kid. She’s always had to be the responsible one, the one who never lets her hair down—not really. I’m the screw-up. I can get away with stuff, but she can’t. She has to walk the line.”
I frowned. The realization that I hadn’t fully appreciated the struggles Diana had faced in her life hit me. “I didn’t realize,” I admitted. “I mean, I know she’s strait-laced, and I mean it in a good way. I just, I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone like her. She seems so carefree and independent.”
Jessie nodded. “Sure, she goes four-by-fouring, and she plays pool with us, but at the end of the day, she’s a daddy’s girl, and she always will be. She adores our father, and our father adores her. They have a special bond. My father has always favored her. Not that I’m jealous now, but it was just always that way. She took the heat off us, me and Abigail. If me or Abigail did anything wrong, Diana would run cover for us. She just had to tell Dad about something she did, and he forgot all about what we did.”
I listened quietly as Jessie spoke, his words painting a picture of Diana that I had never fully understood. I had always seen her as confident and independent, but now I realized that there was more to her than met the eye, that beneath the surface lay a vulnerability that she kept hidden from the world. Her father’s opinion mattered to her. A lot.
“I see.” I nodded.
“That used to make me jealous,” Jessie continued. “But now I see the toll it comes with. She’s always trying to live up to our father’s expectations, to be the perfect daughter. And it’s not easy.”
I felt a surge of empathy for Diana, a newfound appreciation for the struggles she faced on a daily basis. If I truly cared about her, I had to accept that this was a part of her, not try to change it. “I get it,” I said. “I’m not used to anyone really trying to be good. She does it so effortlessly.”
“Diana’s worth fighting for. And if you’re willing to put in the effort, I think you’ll find that she’s worth it.”
I smiled. “Yes, she is,” I agreed.
“I think it’s cool she finally got to see some of the places she’s been dreaming about,” he said. “Thank you for doing that for her.”
“Seeing her happy, exploring those places she’s always wanted to see? It made the trip worthwhile.”
Jessie nodded, his gaze serious. “Diana needs someone who loves her for her, you know? Not for what they want her to be. She needs someone who understands her, who respects her desires and dreams. That understands she can be flawed. She has a hard time not being perfect.”
Our burgers were delivered a few minutes later. I dug in, needing the sustenance to complete my hangover cure.
“So, last night was pretty wild?” Jessie asked.
I grinned. “Honestly, it was one of my tamer nights. I took her to a club I used to frequent.”
“That must have been way out of her element.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, I think so. I have a standing invitation to the VIP section. She was embarrassed because we skipped the line to get in.”
“She’s got a very strong sense of right and wrong,” he said.
“True,” I agreed, remembering the flash of discomfort on her face when we’d bypassed the line. “But she seemed to be okay with it. Until I ordered the second bottle. Looking back, I’m pretty sure that’s when things went wrong. I thought she would think it was cool to have bottle service. But I think it was too much for her.”
“Change can be good,” Jessie mused before taking a bite of his burger. “Just remember, Hudson, that in her world, things have always been black and white. She’s not used to the gray areas. That’s your realm.”
“I think I might have pushed too far.” I sighed. “I got drunk. She didn’t like it.”
“She’s not a prude,” he said. “But she’s not used to the lifestyle you live. She likes stability and order. It doesn’t mean she can’t loosen up, but change takes time. And patience.”
I nodded in agreement. His words echoed the way Diana had looked at me last night—a mix of fascination and apprehension. It was clear that she was drawn to my world but also afraid of it. Or afraid to see me in it.
“She told me her family thinks very little of me, and if you guys find out who I am, rather who I was, it was going to be harder for her to be with me. Basically, your dad was going to run me out of town.”
“You’re good for her, Hudson, but she’s right about my dad. He’s got some pretty high standards. Like I said, she’s not used to going against my dad. She likes being on the good side of things. All I’m saying is, if you want to be with Diana, you need to understand that her world is different from yours. You’re going to have to compromise. Be patient with her.”
“I understand,” I said. “I knew when I met her that she was different. And it’s why I fell for her. She’s not like any girl I’ve ever met before.”
“And she’s falling for you, too,” Jessie said, a grin spreading across his face. “I should probably be a better bigger brother and tell you to back off, but I don’t see things the same way my dad does. Just don’t hurt her. I will have to get involved.”
I nodded. “I don’t want to.”
After we finished eating, he asked me to hang out and shoot pool, but I couldn’t do it. I needed to close my eyes and get my head straight. I had no idea if Diana and I were over. I couldn’t begin to think that far ahead. If Diana was finished with me and the mayor was determined to run me out of town, I saw no reason to rent the house for another month. I overstayed my welcome. I wasn’t sure if I was going back home to Manhattan or if I would move on to another small town.
The weight of Diana’s words was hitting hard now that I was alone, and it was too quiet. Her comment about our relationship potentially jeopardizing her relationship with her family echoed in my mind. On one hand, I would never want to come between Diana and her family. Their bond was strong and important to her, and I respected that more than anything. But on the other hand, a selfish part of me wished she would choose me, even if it meant risking her relationship with her family.
The thought made me feel guilty, ashamed of my own selfish desires. How could I expect Diana to choose between me and her family? It wasn’t fair to put her in that position, and yet, I couldn’t help but hope she would.
I realized I had handled the situation poorly. Instead of approaching our conversation with curiosity and understanding, I had allowed myself to get defensive, to turn myself into a victim of circumstances.
I sighed. Embarrassment washed over me as I thought back to our conversation on the plane. I had let my emotions get the better of me, allowing my insecurities to cloud my judgment and drive a wedge between us. She voiced something that I had been worried about. I should have listened to Diana’s concerns with an open mind.