Chapter 23
“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with those?
” Layla gestured to her throat. She had come out of the bathroom with wet hair and fresh clothes moments ago.
Elise still sat at the kitchen counter, staring into space while she considered her options after the incident at the lair.
She was glad to have something else to focus on when Layla approached her.
“I’m okay. I don’t want to be responsible for your starvation again,” Elise said with a slight smile.
Layla watched her intently. “You know my starvation is always worth it when it comes to you.”
Elise stood from the chair and made her way to the couch.
She tried to ignore the blossoming heat in her cheeks and throughout her body at the undertones of Layla’s words.
At this point, there was no part of her that did not want Layla.
But Elise wondered if Celie had been right—that there was no use in sharing their lives when one of them was destined to outlive the other by an eternity.
In the grand scheme of things, Elise would be a mere moment in Layla’s impossibly long life.
That had never been what Elise wanted—with Layla or anyone.
Love to her had always been beyond just a grand gesture or a moment of bliss.
It was a promise that refused to be broken against tumultuous times and lasted long enough to tell future generations what true romance was.
It was akin to a myth, where belief belonged to those who were so consumed by their passion, they might as well have been made of it.
While Elise had never been so close to anyone, she could not be certain that reaperhood would not change things.
Layla had always alluded to the idea that her reaperhood made her unable to love—or at least struggle to do so fully. If Elise’s humanity would be a problem, she did not want to be in the way of Layla’s happily ever after.
“Elise—”
“I’m okay,” Elise said quickly, trying to shove the spiraling thoughts from her head.
She always forgot how sensitive Layla was to her ever-changing emotions.
Even more so now, the reaper seemed to pick up on her with increased precision.
“I’m just thinking of my sister. If we don’t find her soon…
I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to help her.
” Elise settled on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. She had not even arranged the sofa into a bed.
More desperately than not, Elise hoped seeing her preparing for bed would help Layla take the hint and leave.
Part of Elise wanted Layla to convince her to stay with her.
Why not be like the thousands of Harlem residents who prowled the night like starved beasts in search of sinful pleasures?
Why not allow herself to succumb to the darkest desires at work in her soul, which would not only lead to her inevitable demise but provide endless satisfaction in the moment?
Though her last name had not changed, Elise had long since been unable to call herself a Saint.
Looking at Layla only made her realize that more.
Layla stepped closer, and Elise’s heart jumped at her sudden proximity.
Layla tilted her head to the side, a small smile playing on her lips while she watched Elise.
“We will find her, and we’ll find Dr. Gray too, and everything will be okay.
Tomorrow we confront the gangsters stealing your father’s weapons to ensure we do not have another failed attempt to save your sister. ”
Elise wanted to ask her why she had so much personal investment in finding Josi, but she trusted that Layla cared because Elise cared. Josi was important to her and must have been important to Layla to some degree if she truly cared for Elise. That was enough for her.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” Layla asked.
Elise shrugged. She could barely bring herself to look at Layla, for fear of igniting in herself a naked want she would not be able to control. “Going to bed.”
“On the couch?” Layla asked, lifting a brow.
The sigh that Elise let out had more feigned frustration in it than she meant to display “Thank you, truly, for noticing that I’ve been relegated to the couch for the past couple of nights since you returned and Sterling joined us.
No one has even asked how my back is from sleeping on such a rickety thing.
No one has even asked if I was comfortable—”
“You surprisingly have not complained about it.” Layla crossed her arms and tapped a finger along the back of her wrist. “Sterling has no problem sharing a room with Jamie. You could have asked to sleep with me.”
Elise almost choked. “You only just started talking to me properly!”
Layla pursed her lips. “You could have found some way to tempt me.”
“Unbelievable,” Elise huffed. “I hope you know I have a bad back now because of you and Jamie.”
“You’re eighteen. It can’t possibly be that bad.” Layla almost laughed.
Elise glowered at her and touched her lower back as if in defense. “I’m almost nineteen. And trust me, it is quite bad.”
Layla moved even closer. Her knees were dangerously close to touching the couch and, by extension, Elise’s legs. Layla lowered her arms and leaned against the edge of the cushion. “Would you like a massage?”
“No.” Elise barely got the word out past her constricting throat.
It was silly just how strongly she was reacting to Layla’s presence.
Despite having lived in the city of love for several years and met other incredible people, her heart’s yearning somehow always came back to Layla.
Most days now it went beyond yearning. That part of her was still difficult to admit to herself.
Though Layla showed her desires plainly on her face and in every way she allowed them to touch, Elise still found caution in their interactions, if only because of what the world had to say about reapers and humans being together.
“No?” Layla feigned hurt. She pouted and opened her hands before herself. “I’ve been told I have very skilled hands.”
“I’m sure you do.” Elise’s face flushed with heat. She didn’t have to look at Layla to know she smirked after having sensed the rush of blood in her reaction.
Finally, Layla seemed to understand her hesitation, and she backed away toward her room, sighing. “I hope you don’t break your back tonight…”
“Like you wouldn’t love to hear me scream,” Elise called after her.
A stunned laugh was all she heard in response.
***
Screams of pure terror tore Elise from her sleep. She sat up immediately, blinking against the dark while trying to place the whimpers nearby. The moment the sleep-riddled fog cleared her mind and she realized what was going on, Elise rushed down the hallway and into Layla’s room.
The reaper sat with disheveled hair, her chest heaving as she caught her breath.
Elise had never seen her so undone. Even her sleep shirt was a mess, with the hem torn and wet marks from what Elise could only assume were tears.
They still streaked her cheeks now, glittering rivulets along her brown skin in the pale moonlight.
Elise shut the door behind her but remained by it. “Nightmares?” she asked.
Layla’s hand shook as she ran her fingers through her hair, pulling some curls out of her eyes. Nodding, she wiped the wetness from her cheeks. “My nightly routine,” Layla muttered.
Elise’s fingers clenched the end of her nightgown.
Every part of her wanted to rush forward and comfort Layla.
She had never been the affectionate type, even when they were little.
Layla had always been the one to comfort her, not vice versa.
Elise remembered trying to on multiple occasions.
Whether it had been after a particularly brutal rehearsal that Layla could not stop beating herself up over or a tense conversation with her parents, Layla had always turned away from Elise’s affections.
For so long, Elise wanted to understand why and make herself easier for Layla to accept, but eventually it just became normal.
Layla welcomed her affection in other ways, and Elise tried not to put too much pressure on herself to be enough.
But when it came to Layla, it wasn’t just about being enough. She wanted to be everything for her.
“You know your screaming sounds like someone is trying to murder you, so I just had to check,” Elise said.
Layla leaned back on her hands and looked up at her. “The fear really brings out the beast in me.”
Elise nodded, holding back a smile. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.” She started turning for the door, but Layla’s voice stopped her.
“Elise. Please stay.”
If words could be adrenaline, these would be it. Elise felt her heart skip, and heat flooded her chest as she faced Layla again.
Layla moved over on the bed and pulled the blankets back, making room for Elise.
It was far from the first time they had shared a bed, but the formal invitation made Elise buzz with anticipation.
She climbed under the covers beside Layla and propped herself up on her elbow to watch her.
Every part of Layla intrigued Elise. From the honey-gold curls mixing with the brown ones, to the sharp line of her jaw and the slope of her collarbones leading down to her breasts.
Just hours ago there had been blood soaking her chest and face.
While Layla was clean now, all blood scrubbed from her body, Elise remembered how she had looked at her, made of devotion while covered in blood.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she murmured.
Layla settled onto her side, leaning so close that their faces were mere inches apart. “I’d rather have a distraction.”