Chapter 14 Benson #2
“What about it? Everyone is consensual and old enough to make those decisions.”
“He doesn’t deny it.” Sydney clicked her tongue. “I’m honestly surprised. A co-ed?”
“She’s well out of college, thank you, not that it’s any of your business.”
“It’s my business when it’s our daughter dealing with the fallout. Honestly, Ben, it was one thing when it was an age-appropriate lady between you and…” She sighed. “Other men. It’s quite another when it’s someone young enough to be our daughter.”
“Well, she’s not our daughter. And she’s still five years older than our daughter.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
Don’t let her get to you. Sydney was a master of spearing her ex right in the heart, but he was on to her now. It had been almost a decade since they separated, after all, and the more the years went by (and Drew got older), the less Benson gave a shit what his ex-wife thought of his personal life.
“I can’t believe Oliver and Desmond are okay with this,” Sydney continued, without giving Benson a moment to reply. “Do they even know?”
“They know about Eden.”
“Is that her name?”
“Yes. They’ve met her. Not planned, but…” He leaned back, acting casual. “They’ve never said a thing, except for asking how life’s going.”
“But do they know that Liam’s back?”
“They barely knew about him to begin with, and that’s how I prefer it.”
“I see.”
Benson did not appreciate the reminder that he had not quite come out to his partners before the big breakup.
I was working toward it. After all, we were planning a wedding.
And even if neither Oliver nor Desmond approved, they should at least put in an appearance at the wedding before minding their business forever.
“Why are you on my case about this? The woman who has been married and practically divorced since our divorce.”
She chuckled. “My current husband is out. We’ve been separated for a few months now. Drew hasn’t mentioned it?”
“No.” He was only slightly surprised. “She only spreads rumors about me, apparently.”
“Of course she does. She’s a Daddy’s Girl.”
“Come off it.”
“She is, Ben. Drew has adored you since the day she was born, and you paraded her around the hospital to show her off to anyone who would look at your baby.” Was Sydney wistfully looking into the distance as she said that?
If there’s one thing I can say about this woman, it’s that she loves our daughter.
And that she was dedicated to a solid home life.
Had Benson not been, well, himself… they might still be married, playing house and embracing being empty nesters.
But he was not meant for the life Sydney had in mind.
“She doesn’t pay much attention to my personal life. She thinks I’m stuffy and boring. If only she knew what we got up to before the divorce.”
Benson tried not to blush, but couldn’t refrain.
“Memories, there?”
“It’s awkward, all right? You and I were married for over ten years. And we definitely did some things toward the end there.”
“Back then, I resented it,” Sydney candidly said, only slightly surprising her ex.
“These days, I rather appreciate you trying to spice things up, especially before we hit our late thirties. I’m not sure I would have had the spine to separate from Roger had I not had some of those experiences under my belt. ”
“Why? He reminds you a little too much of me?”
“No, no. If anything, I ran straight into the arms of the most boring man I could find. I’ve got needs, too, as you can attest. And Roger, well…” She shrugged. “He’s not interested anymore. He barely ever was.”
“I see.”
“I envy you, Ben. Honestly, I envy men like you. I always have.”
“What do you mean?”
“Being able to just go out and do what you want. Be who you are. You weren’t raised to be ashamed of even desiring sex, let alone asking for it. Paying for it.”
“You really think I’m that open? I’ve never even told my partners that I’m bi. I waited years to tell you, because I knew how you would react.”
“Ben, if you think I didn’t know after the second hookup we had with another man, then you really must think I’m a daft woman. You couldn’t wait to get that guy out of his clothes.”
“Yeah, well…”
“You’re right, though. I reacted terribly. But it wasn’t because of who you were.”
He snorted. “That so?”
“I was tired of being yanked around. You being so coy about what you really wanted, and me sitting there trying so hard to be the wife you desired. Well, that’s rather difficult when your own husband won’t be truthful with you. I think we both could have done a lot better.”
“And that leads to you being able to divorce your current husband?”
“Why, yes. I need someone between you and him. Someone with some sense of adventure, but maybe not with other people.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being rude or not.”
“I certainly don’t mean to be.”
Benson sank lower into his chair. I don’t care how many of my chins she sees.
If anyone could see the “real” him as he grew older, heavier, and more wrinkly, it was the woman who also had a few gray hairs.
And the woman who split in half, bearing my daughter.
Never stopped her from being attractive to him.
No, that was more the divorce that did it.
“Did he cheat on you?”
Sydney laughed at that sudden question as if it were preposterous. “Ben, you’re not listening to me. That would have been a step up from the dead bedroom Roger and I have had for the past few years. At least then I would know he got it up for someone.”
“Amazing. You really do need someone between him and me.”
“Yes, I’d prefer if my husband had some blood flow in him, let alone for me, but maybe not for everyone in the club.”
“Everyone? You make it sound like I had no discernment.”
“I’ve seen your twenty-five-year-old girlfriend. She’s quite the looker.”
“How did you see her?”
“Drew had a picture on her phone. At the zoo. With Liam.”
So, it came back to that. “Did you come here to walk down memory lane, or to accuse me of something?”
“The way I see it, you’ve got two choices,” Sydney began, opening her bag.
“You’re right. It’s none of my business in the long run.
We’re not together anymore. Drew is in college.
Her embarrassment is more her concern than mine.
But… for the love of God, Ben, don’t make the same mistake you did last time. ”
His teeth were about to grind down to pulps. “I remember you being quite unsupportive when you found out about Liam the first time around. Something about how it wasn’t appropriate for our daughter to have been around him.”
“Alone! I didn’t want our daughter alone with any man who wasn’t you or my husband.”
“I trust him with my life, let alone our daughter’s.”
“He was thirty.”
“So?”
Sydney rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, did we get our wires crossed? Do you think I’m a homophobe?”
“It’s why you left me, isn’t it?”
“What! No, I just told you, I was tired of being jerked around by your unwillingness to tackle your life the way it should have been. And I was tired of fucking whatever man you had your eyes on that week.”
“You’re making it sound like I forced you.”
“Of course you didn’t. But I should have said no a lot sooner. I’m not meant for that.”
“You didn’t enjoy it at all?”
“Well…” She offered him one of her knowing smiles that once lit up his whole day.
Now, it just played with his memories. “Sometimes. In the moment, it could be good fun, and it was nice having other men be really into me after having a kid and getting older. But it just didn’t suit who I wanted to be outside of the bedroom.
Hence, my course correction with Roger.”
“Drew has no idea that we—”
“No! Of course not!”
Benson stopped grinding his teeth. “Good. It’s bad enough Liam told her about the three of us.”
“Well, yes, that is worse.”
“Thanks.”
She shrugged. “Drew will get over it a lot faster if you completely own who you are. You were very close a few years ago.”
“That’s easier said than done. This industry is very… conservative. Like that. It feels like I can pick one or the other, but not both.” He hoped she knew what he meant by that.
“I get it. The world is so screwed up right now that I’m sure you’re concerned about keeping your job more than ever.”
“Yes.”
“If anyone can survive economic uncertainty, it’s you, Ben.
So, fuck it. Show our daughter that you don’t give a shit about other people’s opinions of you.
And, if you insist on being with this girl…
” There it was! The dramatic eyeroll coupled with a twist of the mouth!
“Make sure it counts. She’ll never respect you again if you toss this new girl aside the way you did Liam. ”
Oh, no, he was grinding his teeth again. “Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself? Is it really Drew you mean?”
Sydney checked her phone before putting it back into her bag. “Like mother, like daughter.”
Oh, he was in it now.