Chapter 4
With all the acting out and calls home, maybe homeschooling would be better for Cameron. It wasn’t like I had a job to occupy my time. I could easily teach my son from home. I needed money though, and Cam had always loved school up until recently.
I knew that he would push back if I tried to pull him out.
It wasn’t fair for me to put my shit on him.
I had done that enough in the past. I needed time to think and formulate some kind of plan.
Since I wasn’t technically back in my hometown, I thought I would have more time before I had any kind of blast from the past. There was no way this was happening.
What was I saying? With my luck, running into someone I had no desire to see was right on track. At the same time, if I knew that Jordy St. John was anywhere near that freaking school, I would have never sent my son there in the first place.
JoJo was one of the last people I wanted to see. What the hell was he doing there anyway? The last thing I knew, he was following his parents’ dream of him being a doctor. What was he doing at an elementary school aside from trying to give me a heart attack?
“Ma, I’m done with my homework. Can I go shoot hoops with my cousins?”
“Boy, you better be glad you aren’t in your room right now. What makes you think you’re going anywhere when I had to be called to pick you up from school yesterday?”
“Those kids keep trying to clown me, Ma. You don’t get it.”
“Clown you how? Are they bullying you?”
“They tried at my old school, but Dad already told me not to ever let anybody punk me. You know he taught me how to fight. So, when they pick on me for being smart or they talk trash, I show them I’m not the one to mess with, just like he told me.”
“I understand what Kendrick was trying to teach you, but you can’t solve your problems by putting your hands on people.
Your dad and I used to fight for a living.
It wasn’t right for him to tell you to solve your problems that way.
If no one is hurting you, there is no reason for you to resort to violence.
You’re smart enough to resolve your problems with words.
Do you feel OK to go to school? Are the other kids hurting you by saying things like at your old school? ”
My son somberly shook his head, but I wasn’t sure that I was buying what he had to say. Right now, I wouldn’t push him, but his ass was not going out to play with his cousins when he still had another day of detention.
“Be careful that you’re not turning into a bully, Cameron. It’s one thing to defend yourself and another to pick fights.”
“I know, Ma.”
“Good.”
“Can I go to Grandma’s?” he asked.
“We’ll go this weekend. Go find a book to read until dinner is finished.”
Cameron mentioning my mom made me think of calling her. I had been meaning to all day yesterday. After having to pick Cam up from school, I was so preoccupied with trying to understand why my son was fighting again that I didn’t find the time.
I didn’t know why it never occurred that Kendrick’s influence would have a negative impact on Cam.
I understood what he was trying to do when he told him to stand up for himself, but a seven-year-old didn’t have the cognitive skills to know how to pick his battles.
Kendrick’s grown ass barely had self-control when it came to that, so I had no idea why he wouldn’t have been more cautious when dealing with a child.
No matter how busy being a newly single mom kept me, thoughts of JoJo ran through my mind rampantly. It was the real reason I hadn’t reached out to my mom. I didn’t want to hear her questions, but I had a few for her.
I picked my phone up from the counter and dialed my mom’s number as I stepped out of the back door.
It was cool that there was still a swing on my grandma’s back porch.
She loved to swing. The love of being near her made me love it too.
There was even a tire swing in the big tree in her backyard that I wasn’t completely sure was still safe.
“Hey, I’m just walking out of the bank.”
“You still at work? What time is it?”
“You know I’m one of the last one’s out the door these days.”
“I see that. Hey, I had a question for you. You got time to talk?” I asked.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have answered the phone, Harper. What’s going on? Cam isn’t getting in trouble again, is he?”
I hadn’t told my mom about my son’s most recent fight because she just knew that relocating would be the solution to whatever had gotten into him. I admit, I was hopeful too. I didn’t have the heart to break the news that, so far, things weren’t going as planned.
“You remember Doctor St. John’s sons that I was friends with?” I asked just to buy time. How could she forget them?
“Yeah, I never could figure out which one of them you were messing around with. You kept insisting that they were just your friends, but I knew there was more to the story than that. Those boys were too handsome and too damn fresh to be spending all that time studying and playing games with a girl they didn’t like. ”
“Well, they both went to med school, so apparently, they were studying,” I countered.
“And so was my baby. How’s the job hunt going anyway?”
I sighed. “It’s going.”
“Don’t get discouraged. You just started. If you want me to, I can put in a word for you here. I know finance ain’t your area of expertise, but we can find something for you to do around here.”
“I’ll let you know. For now, I have a few irons in the fire. Harry talked to the folks at the rec department for me. I’m waiting to see what they have available.”
“Oh, what were you saying about the twins?” my mom asked, changing the subject back to JoJo and Jase.
“I, . . . uh, saw one of them at Cam’s school and was wondering what he was doing there. Didn’t you mention that they moved to California or something?”
“They were off somewhere, out of state, working, but sometime last year, they opened a pediatric clinic in Lulaville.”
“You didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”
“Not really. One of them boys came around looking for you three or four times after you left, and you had already told me that you weren’t speaking to them anymore. That was forever ago.”
All the time I had been gone, my mom made sure to call me once a week to update me on the latest town gossip. I guess a new clinic wasn’t exactly breaking news, but one ran by my former friends might have made the cut.
“What was he doing at the school? I didn’t think either of them had kids. Every time I see their mama, she’s talking about wanting more grandchildren.”
“I’m not exactly sure. He was in the office talking to Cam.”
“Well, if he was standing right there, why in the world didn’t you ask him all these questions instead of calling me?”
“I was too busy trying to see what was going on with my son, Ma.”
“Well next time you see him, I suggest you ask him. I always thought you would marry one of them boys.”
“You see how marriage turned out for me. I’m good on that. Besides, me and the twins haven’t been on speaking terms in a long time.”
“I can understand that, but don’t close the door on marriage. So, you had a bad experience. It’s not the end of the world, baby. I know it feels like it right now, but it’s only the end if you give up. Maybe you just married the wrong man. I, honestly, have never been happier.”
“I love that for you, Mom. I also understand that one marriage is enough for me. I fought hard to save my marriage, but at the end of the day, I have to do what’s best for me and Cameron. I’m not bringing anyone else into our lives until I know he and I both are absolutely ready.”
“I can’t blame you for that, baby. I will say wait until you know you are healed before trying to move on.
First you have to forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be blinded by love.
There is nothing wrong with loving unconditionally, but if you feel like you have been harmed, that’s something you need to unpack. ”
“I agree.”
“Bring my boy over here so I can give him a good talking to without you in our business.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Go ahead and bring him now. I know your butt needs a breather. Drop him off and get some Harper time.”
I laughed. My mom could be so bossy sometimes. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll bring him by on my way to the track. I’ve been going there to work out and work off some steam.”
Not that I was ready to get rid of my son, but my mom was spot on to say that I needed a break.
Between the job search and running back and forth to Cameron’s school, I could use a little air and a lot of wine.
If nothing else, I could get some grocery shopping out of the way without having to worry about Cam trying to pick up every single thing he saw.
It was one thing when I was being conservative because of a strict shopping list, and a whole other issue when I was having to tell my son no because we could only afford the necessities.
I refused to come down here with my hand out, expecting my mama to pick up the slack.
She was already doing enough by dropping Cam off at school every morning.
The least I could do was make sure we had food on the table.
I made it to the grocery store with my list in hand.
I had been trying to come up with a weekly menu to bring some kind of structure back to my son’s life.
I grabbed a box of cereal from the shelf and tossed it in the cart before remembering that that particular one was Kenny’s favorite.
Neither Cam nor I really liked it. It was crazy that we had been living apart for all this time, and I still had days when I forgot that we were no longer together.
I shook my head in an attempt to shake off the tears stinging my eyes and threatening to fall. As I stood on the cereal aisle, trying to decide which one to get that wasn’t overpriced and full of sugar, someone reached over my shoulder.
“Excuse me, ma. Let me grab those.”