Chapter 13
Thirteen
Riley
T he security at Weeping Willow for a medical student on a clinical rotation is rigorous.
Paperwork, an intense background check, and the insistence that they follow the employee standards of scrubbing up to their elbows in descenting soap and then spraying themselves with descenting spray before stepping onto the floor to see patients.
While I came in wearing business casual attire and comfortable shoes, I was brought into the employee locker room after having the descenting protocol explained and told to change into scrubs.
I figured this was a possibility, which is why I covered any visible tattoos with makeup.
I’m on a mission to blend into the scenery wherever possible, and shine like a model student when it’s not.
I’ve always been very careful about my hacking skills, and have never been caught by anyone who has pressed charges. Due to this, my criminal background is nonexistent and I look like a good citizen on paper. Hell, I can even look like I follow the letter of the law as well when necessary.
It took three months from when I began talking with my professor about beginning a clinical rotation at this institute before they took me on due to their security process.
My skin crawls as I think about everything that Nina could have gone through during that time.
I know her alphas are suffering as they drive themselves mad with the possibilities.
“Riley,” Dr. Kind greets me in his office once I’ve done everything asked of me to prepare for my first day. “I’m very excited you want to study our work and how we treat mental illness.”
I have to keep my face expressionless as I nod.
I’m tapping into the part of myself who enjoys taking things apart and putting them back together.
Except, instead of it being the body, it’s someone’s mind.
I never thought there could be so much harm done to someone until I started to understand Weeping Willow’s non-official rhetoric about behavioral and mental health.
“I’m also very excited,” I murmur. “I didn’t think this day would ever come.”
“Yes, well, I know our process is different from many other hospitals,” he says.
“It’s to protect the work we’re doing, because I will not allow any hiccups.
Our patients are difficult, and our policies are law.
If I ask you to do something, it is for the good of the patient.
Our timelines for reintroducing some of our patients to the world are stringent. ”
“Understood, Doctor,” I agree.
From my understanding, their policies skirt the boundaries of torture.
I still haven’t seen beyond the veil of their words because they’re so tight-lipped, but I am a very good judge of character.
Between what I’ve seen through my hacking into their records and my onboarding experience, employees are expected to not ask any questions.
They are tools and an extension of the doctors’ will.
“It’s good that you’re here right now,” Dr. Kind continues. “We have an eighteen year old female omega who is going through a reeducation process. Her mother cites that she is concerned about her wellbeing. ”
“Is she exhibiting signs of depression and suicidal ideation?” I ask. It’s a passing concern, one any good doctor or medical student would ask.
I know good and well this facility doesn’t care about any of that though.
“It’s less the expression of suicidal ideation and more her steadfast need to buck against societal norms,” Dr. Kind explains.
“Omegas need structure in order to lead calm lives with their packs. No alpha pack will want her if she’ll continually express her individuality through distasteful behavior. ”
“This is true,” I lie. I know two alphas who want the omega in question. According to the facility’s records, there are no other eighteen year old girls in residence, which means I’m going to be seeing Nina very soon. “What kind of behavior modification has she undergone so far, if I may ask?”
“Of course you may. Dr. Brunes and I are interested in seeing what you can do with her. Your ideas about the mind have piqued our curiosity,” he says.
I’m sure. I took every opportunity to recall the things my conservative teachers discussed during class to make my case as to why I’m a good candidate for this hospital. They apparently don’t take many medical students for their clinical rotations.
It took so long, I had to begin another rotation before I was finally accepted. Now, I’m working around the clock, but I’ve decided that no matter what happens, it’s worth it.
I don’t even know this omega yet, yet I’m invested in her wellbeing. Listening to Ethan tell me about her is enough. He may not have known her for long as an adult, but he’s memorized everything about her.
An omega like Rainbow Brite is worth my time.
“I have wonderful teachers, and I’ve merely extended their ideas into what I believe the mind is capable of,” I state. “You can get anyone to believe things if you apply the right type of pressure.”
Every word tastes bitter on my tongue, but I force them past my lips anyway. If this is what it takes to have access to Nina, then I’ll say it. It’s no wonder why so many omegas refuse to seek mental health services or even see a therapist when they’re having difficulties processing things.
Maybe I’ll go into psychiatry after this. It’s certainly a field that needs someone who will actually listen.
“Well, it hasn’t been for lack of pressure that this patient is still here,” Dr. Kind sighs.
“We have had her in a sensory deprivation tank, refused her sleep through loud music, starved her, and are now introducing her to content on how to be a proper omega. She refuses to speak during her one-on-one therapy, and stares vacantly when spoken to.”
“Is this a sign that there’s a fracture in her mind?” I ask. There’s nothing that shows actual concern in my tone, every question is clinical and detached.
“I wish,” Dr. Kind grunts. “She’s severely disassociating and it’s getting in the way of her progress. I need to give her mother news that we’re going in the right direction. The patient at least hasn’t had any heats since her first due to malnutrition.”
She’s had a heat. That’s the only thing I can think about in his words. Nina was all alone during it, without her alphas.
“How did you manage her first?” I ask, my words sounding as if they’re coming from a long tunnel. My ears are ringing and I have to pull my head back into the game.
If all the world is a stage, then this has to be too.
“Sedation,” Dr. Kind shrugs. “She was inconsolable, as it seems she’s met her scent matches just before the beginning of her stay with us.
We can’t return her to her mother until we get her to forget them as well.
One of them showed up here, and we had to send him away.
His lawyer and he don’t have a leg to stand on for now.
Anyone who sees her will agree that she’s unwell. ”
You made her this way. My thoughts feel loud in my mind, but there’s no way the doctor in front of me will ever know what I’m thinking. I’m too good at keeping my guard up .
“We are currently developing technology that mimics the voices of her scent matches,” Dr. Kind says.
“We are hoping that we’ll be able to convince her that they’ve rejected her.
Mind games are what we’re being forced to use.
The omega won’t even allow us the elegance of actual psychiatric intervention. ”
True hatred for this man bubbles up inside of me, despite the small amount of time that we’ve been speaking. This is the first time we’re even meeting, due to all of the hoops I had to jump through.
He and Dr. Brunes were too busy to talk to me until I was cleared to do my clinical rotation here, and now I can see why. They’re very engrossed in their work. Being normal and a decent person, even if they’re just pretending to be, would be asking too much.
“How terrible for you all,” I say, pretending to be sincere.
Dr. Kind nods, standing.
“Alright, I’ll take you to where she’s currently learning what it’s like to be an obedient omega,” he says. “We partner with a wonderful women’s organization that provides content for us, which is what she’s currently listening to.”
I doubt she’s listening to whatever drivel they’re pushing of her own free will.
Following Dr. Kind, we walk out of his office and through the facility. He gives me a tour as we walk past the different chambers, my skin pimpling with goosebumps as he says things like ‘silent room’, ‘electro shock therapy’, and the ‘water’ room.
I can’t imagine what this kind of “therapy” will do to a person’s psyche, but Nina has been here for three fucking months. I force myself to go to a place of icy calm, and pretend she’s no one for the sake of not blowing things on my first day.
I can’t help her if I show how involved I feel without ever having met her.
Ethan’s feelings for her are leaking onto me, and it’s hard to go to the place inside of me that cares about no one and nothing other than science.
I want him to be happy, and Nina doesn’t deserve to be entangled in her mother’s bullshit .
“Here we are,” Dr. Kind says. “I’d like to go in with you, monitor how she’s doing after being isolated. The patient is in an intensive protocol program since she hasn’t responded well to being here.”
I have a feeling what he’s telling me isn’t true. Even though I can’t smell his scent due to the scent descenters that are mandatory here, his eyes squint when he lies. It’s very slight, but it’s there.
I’m a good judge of character. Dr. Kind is nothing like his moniker.
“That’ll be fine,” I say, waiting to see what he wants to see from my interaction with Nina. I notice the way he’s distancing himself from “the patient” by not using her name, and take that into account for how bad this might be.
Dehumanizing someone is a coping mechanism for some.