Chapter 15 #2
While the packs following Nina and I seem to be the wealthiest and the most successful, there’s also a thread of progressiveness that runs through them as well. They want to court my daughter because it’s what is expected, but they also want to see why they had to wait so long to meet her.
It’s been just about a year since I started the process of gathering packs to meet my daughter, even though I knew she wasn’t in any type of position to do it. I’m going to need to be flexible, because honesty is beyond me.
As everyone sits around the table, I hesitate, watching as the housekeeper brings in the tea, pastries, and sandwiches. So much effort, and I have a feeling that I’m about to get kicked out.
Abbott from Pack Thornefield leans forward, his gaze moving from Nina to myself.
“I think we can handle tea with your daughter,” he says with a smile, as if reading my mind. “Nothing untoward will happen in the backyard, Miss Vivian. We all give you our word.”
The table fills with murmurs of agreement, while Nina shifts uneasily. Did I mention this is the first time she’s spent any time with people? Shit.
Giving a small smile, I incline my head. I’m careful not to touch Nina, because I don’t trust myself not to pinch her to remind her of what to do. Everyone is staring really hard at me, all I can do is go.
“Of course,” I say. “I hope you have a wonderful visit with Nina. Please, enjoy.”
My feet feel heavy as I force myself to walk back inside. I’ve done everything possible to set her up for success. I didn’t even set up cameras outside because I didn’t think of this eventuality.
My breaths are even as I walk to my sitting room. I can’t see anything here, but I did it for a reason. The last thing I need is for one of the alphas to say I didn’t trust their word.
Fuck. Don't screw this up, Nina.
Nina
I have four packs of alphas and a couple of betas surrounding me at the table. My mom only focuses her energy on what’s important to her, so she tends to ignore the betas when she’s speaking to me.
What if I fuck up who is from what pack? What if I forget someone’s name? What if I offend someone?
Breathe, Nina.
There’s roughly fourteen people here. As someone who tends to be alone, it’s very nerve wracking, and I take a deep breath to fight through the anxiety crawling through my veins.
My nose still hasn't recovered from being waterboarded at Weeping Willow, so my scent is off. It’s also affected the way I’m able to taste things, which affects what I enjoy eating now.
For my mother, she thought Weeping Willow would be a small piece of my life, but it’s causing lasting effects. I have to remind myself I’ve only been out for a few months, however, that makes me feel like an ex-inmate. It’s not that far from the truth.
“I think it’s safe to say that this could be overwhelming for anyone,” an alpha says kindly, filling my cup with fragrant tea.
The housekeeper thankfully put a pot of tea that she knows I’ll enjoy. My mother may rule with an iron fist, but the staff here try to make my life easier in small ways.
The female alpha mom mentioned, leans forward, her nostrils flaring as she inhales deeply.
“The last thing we want to do is make you anxious,” she says quickly. I memorized her name first from the cards my mom gave me. She left me speaking topics as well, but they all feel so wooden and insincere.
Cassidy. That’s her name.
“There’s a lot of you,” I say carefully, looking around slowly.
“Your mother wanted you to be able to meet us so you could decide who you’d like to see again,” Cassidy says, turning the tiers of food slowly. “This strawberry sandwich looks delicious. Would you like one, Nina?”
“Yes, please,” I say immediately, though eating was the last thing I thought I’d actually do today. My stomach has been in painful knots since I woke up.
I’m also surprised that Cassidy seems to think that I would be able to make any choices in regards to who I see again.
“Your scent smells… odd,” Lyle murmurs, frowning.
“Are you saying that I smell bad?” I ask, finding a smirk somewhere within me.
“No,” Lyle grins. He is in his mid thirties, and older than some of the other people at the table. Everyone is wearing clothing fit for an afternoon tea, but seem to relax a bit as we talk.
Why are these things so stuffy? Even my feet are beginning to pinch in these shoes, and it hasn’t been very long since I slipped them on.
“Scents change when someone is feeling intense emotions,” Lyle explains, taking pity on me. He seems like someone who enjoys knowing more than anyone else in the room. “For some, it can end up being a truth meter. I’m a lawyer, and I use it regularly to learn about people.”
“You all seem really nice, but I feel like a small fish around much bigger predators,” I murmur softly.
The alphas around me freeze for a moment, and someone rolls his eyes at them.
“You’re not the only one who feels like that,” Carter says, leaning around someone to meet my gaze. “They don’t realize they’re doing it. Alphas have big personalities and big?—”
“Ahem,” Cassidy says, shaking her head with amusement. “Nina really doesn’t need to hear that.”
Dicks. My cheeks heat a little as I think about Carter’s words. I think I’m a little innocent for this conversation. My mother has isolated me from everyone. All I have are the words of those from Weeping Willow Institute that I entered into a relationship with someone that was inappropriate.
I don’t remember who that person was, or what I did. I may as well be a virgin, since my transgressions have been pulled from me so thoroughly, I don’t know what forced my mother to commit me.
It’s very difficult to understand, and I often feel as if I’m missing pieces of myself. It doesn’t help my anxiety or the feeling of constantly being off balance.
“Anyway,” Cassidy stresses. “I will admit that being in a space with so many alphas can be overwhelming. I’m glad your mother thought of putting us outside with plenty of ventilation from the fans to help dispel all the pheromones. ”
I very much doubt that’s why my mother did that, and I find myself pressing my lips together slightly to remind myself not to say what I’m thinking. It’s become a habit, though not one anyone would notice.
“Please eat something,” Abbott begs. “I can’t enjoy any of this until you do.”
“Same,” Lyle sighs. “It’s taking everything inside of me not to load up your plate because I don’t know what you like.”
“It would help if I knew what some of this was,” I confess, making a few of them relax slightly.
“Well, that is a valid point,” Cassidy murmurs. “Try the strawberry sandwich, and I’ll ask the housekeeper. I can see her peeking out.”
At the widening of my eyes, she shakes her head.
“Oh, I’m blaming my question on Abbott,” she chuckles. “He’s a picky eater anyway.”
Abbott mock glares at Cassidy as she calls over the housekeeper, asking her to explain what everything is. Five minutes later, I’m eating things I’m actually enjoying, and everyone is more relaxed around me.
I don’t know much about alphas. It’s silly since I’m an omega, but I’ve only spent time around my mother’s omega and beta friends and their kids. I’m unused to so much attention, or the fact that they all seem to want to get me what I need as I’m reaching for it.
“What is your favorite thing to do, Nina?” Lyle asks, taking a sip of his tea.
I have no idea. Outside of studying to ensure that I don’t disappoint my mother and exercising, I couldn’t tell you what I enjoy.
“I don’t know if others would think it’s enjoyable, but I like going for a run in the morning and reading outside,” I admit. “It may be hot, but I can’t get enough of how pretty it is out.”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that,” Lyle says with a shrug. “We’re lucky to live in such a beautiful place. Gardens like this aren’t found just anywhere.”
Even though my mother travels with her husband, she loves flowers. I’ll have to give her that. She also hasn’t left at all since I returned home. I still don’t think this counts as actually being a parent, not when she’s parading me around in front of alphas to pack me off.
My eyes travel to the giant tree in the backyard, my lips twitching in memory at how I used to climb it.
“What are you smiling about?” an alpha asks. Glancing at him, my mind reels in panic to find his name. Easton. God, my nerves are going to be so shot by the end of this.
“When I was a little girl, I used to climb that tree,” I say, shrugging. “I may have had a thing for being outdoors even then.”
“I used to give my parents gray hair,” Cassidy admits. “If I could climb, scale, or jump off of it… I would. It’s part of being a kid.”
“I’m surprised your mother would allow that,” Easton says carefully. “She doesn’t seem the type, Nina.”
“She’s not,” I murmur, picking up a mini croissant. “Sometimes, the tree limbs called anyway.”
Easton gazes at me as I take a bite of my pastry before nodding. It feels as if I told him more than I meant to with that sentence. He doesn’t pry any more, and the conversation turns away from the topic of trees and climbing them.
I find that I enjoy having tea with this group, and that it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be. They rightly have questions about me, and I respond. Slowly, I find the confidence to ask them in turn, and I can feel their satisfaction as I do.
Alphas want to protect. Somewhere, those words drift through my mind, and I can see it in the way they try to set me at ease as well as ensure that I have enough to eat.
Maybe this won’t be so terrible. I thought being packed up would mean forcing myself to conform to what they wanted me to be. My mother seems to change her personality with each marriage, having multiple people around that I need to please seems impossible.
“Nina,” Cassidy says, pulling me out of thoughts.