Chapter 19 #2
“You should make one,” Cassidy suggests. “Work your way through everything that frustrates you about being an omega, and journal about it. I guarantee you there are others who feel the same way.”
“That’s not a bad idea, but it makes me even angrier that your mother didn’t at least think it was a possibility that you’d be an omega,” Silas grumbles.
“She thought I would be a beta, and I think she wishes that I was,” I say.
“When I woke up from being sedated, I was strapped down to the bed, and I found that a lot of my pink strands of hair had been hacked away while I slept. The doctor said since there were still traces of pink that the best thing to do was to shave it all.”
My lip wobbles as my calmness cracks, and I take a shuddering breath.
“It’s just hair,” I wail. “I know this. I’m not really vain, so why does this bother me so much?”
“It’s traumatic,” Cassidy whispers. “I can’t even imagine.”
Silas curses as he slams on his brakes, throwing us all forward.
“Sorry,” he rasps. “Fuck, I really want to turn around and snap her scrawny fucking neck.”
Cassidy’s breaths are coming fast as she nods. “Can we?” she asks. “There are very few reasons to kill someone, but this is one.”
I don’t know if they’re serious enough. People don’t just talk like this, do they?
“The hospital was meant to rehabilitate me and my behavior,” I remind them. “All individuality had to be removed from me, and I…”
“You what?” Cassidy asks.
“I think I lost a lot of myself there,” I whisper. “The therapy is closer to torture, which is why I tend to flinch easily and I’m not used to touch. If someone was touching me, it was because they were going to hurt me. Electrical shock, water boarding?—”
“You’re this tiny fucking thing, are you kidding me?” Silas yells, making me jump. “I’m sorry. Fuck. They could have easily killed you.”
They’re going to kill you. Whispers seem to echo in my mind before I banish it with a ragged breath. I’m not there anymore, even though I kept dreaming that I was the last few nights.
Nightmares have been intruding into my dreams, which has made my sleep even worse. I’m sure the adrenaline of Silas picking me up will drain soon, and I’ll need a nap.
“They almost did,” I say, lifting a shoulder. “If you were to look up war torture, I feel like that’s where they may have taken their therapy practices. There’s nothing keeping her from doing this to me again, Silas.”
“Yes, well that’s not completely true,” he says. “If you have a pack, the burden of your health under the law would fall to them, and your mother wouldn’t have any rights. They would be sure to dissolve her proxy.”
They. Whoever “they” are.
“Nina,” Cassidy says.
“What did I say?” Silas asks. “Your scent…”
“Ignore it,” I snap, looking out the window. “I’m being oversensitive. I’ll get over it.”
“No,” Silas says, pulling the car to the side of the road. We bump along a bit, and my head turns to glare at him as he twists his body to face me. “Now, you’re being a brat. I wouldn’t dream of stifling that, but we’re going to fucking talk about it.”
Pulling my hand from Cassidy’s, I wrap my arms around myself with a sigh.
“I feel like the ugly duckling,” I say. “It’s ridiculous?—”
“Is it because we haven’t chosen yet?” Silas asks.
“Yes, and I shouldn’t feel like this.”
“Your mother made it very clear that we’re responsible for your absence the last five days,” Cassidy growls. “Just because she pretended it was related to a fake heat and not the fact that she chose to beat you for something outside of your control makes no difference.”
“I promise to have answers for you about that during this trip,” Silas says, taking a deep breath.
Without thinking, I breathe with him, and the faintest scent of fresh cookies slips through. It smells really nice, but it isn’t earth shattering or anything.
“Who smells like cookies?” I blurt out.
Silas grins. “Huh. You can smell me?”
“I usually can’t smell anything,” I admit. “Food sometimes can taste odd because of it, and it throws off my appetite. I thought my sinuses were all messed up from my, ah, treatments.”
“Torture,” Silas says, his smile dropping. It’s a shame because it cuts into his grumpiness when he smiles. “Please call it for what it is. Your body worked really hard to heal the last five days. It’s possible other parts of you are also healing as well. That’s really good.”
“Okay,” I say, kind of shocked. “Well, you smell nice.”
He smirks, inclining his head. “It would suck if I didn’t.”
A giggle escapes me, and he turns back around to merge back onto the road, continuing to where we’re going.
“I wish I could say I’m surprised your mother would do something so heinous to her own daughter, but I’m not,” Silas says.
“We’ve always been at odds,” I admit. “I prefer leggings like this and loose clothing, while my mother thinks that skirt sets are a better option.”
“She’s got a stick up her ass,” Cassidy snarls. “This will be a good escape from her.”
“She’ll only be worse when I get back,” escapes from my lips, and I press my lips together. It’s too late, the words are out there.
“Hopefully, you won’t be going back,” Silas says. “Let’s just see how this goes, okay? I’m not going to lie to you and say that we haven’t discussed choosing. I don’t want you to be moderately content though. That’s a cop out in life.”
“We want you to be fucking outrageously happy,” Cassidy says, a sad smile crossing her lips as she swipes away tears.
“Why are you crying?” I ask as we drive through the back roads of the airport. We were closer than I realized, which isn’t a surprise since I rarely travel anywhere.
“I hate how much you’ve gone through, and I’m so glad you’re my friend,” she says. “I really am surrounded by men all day where I work, and it’s a nice change of pace.”
“You’re always very aware of how I’m feeling or when I’m in my head. I don’t have many people who give a shit,” I say. “Thank you for being my friend.”
“You now have more people to give a shit than you might be ready for,” Silas says, waiting for someone to open a gate for him to pass through. “Whatever happens, we’re not going anywhere.”
There’s no time to ask him about what he said as the security guard checks Silas’ identification and we pass through the gates.
“Private plane,” Cassidy explains as we pull up at our destination. “I’m driving his car back to his house. Have fun.”
“I still have questions,” I say, watching as Silas gets out of the vehicle .
Unbuckling, I take his hand as he helps me out, and Cassidy comes around to give me a hug.
“Go with it,” she says in my ear, squeezing me. “You’ll be safe.”
The promise makes me relax a little as she gets into the SUV and pulls away.
“The getaway vehicle is gone, may as way come with me,” he teases me.
“Very funny,” I say, following him up the stairs onto the plane. The rest of his pack isn’t here, and we settle into our seats. They’re huge and really comfortable.
“The crew has been asked to turn the lights down as soon as possible. I suggest that you catch up on some of the sleep that’s been eluding you,” he says. At my raised brow, he adds, “I can tell.”
Taking the blanket he offers me, I pull it over me. The crew goes through their pre-checks, and close up the plane. My eyes are already closing by the time we take off, and I hope the nightmares stay away.
Silas takes my hand, leaning in.
“I’m a poor substitute, but I’ll do my best,” he says.
I’m not sure what he means by that, but it’s clear that I’m talking without meaning to. Letting myself drift off, he keeps me anchored as I sleep.
It feels as if my soul was pushed back into my body as I wake up, and my body jerks hard.
“Welcome back,” Silas says gently as the plane begins to taxi across the tarmac. “We just landed, and that must have woken you up.”
“Oh,” I yawn, covering my mouth. “Sorry. I slept really hard.”
“Flying will do that,” he says. “Look out the window. ”
Pushing the window shade up the rest of the way, I gasp as I look. It looks like a winter wonderland outside. I think I hated the snow so much while I was in Minnesota because I could never get warm. It’s nice to admire it from inside.
“I have clothes for you to change into in this bag,” he says, lifting it up for me to see. “It’ll keep you warm, and the coat has heating elements, as do the gloves and boots.”
“That’s a thing?” I ask.
“Oh yes,” he says, appearing proud of himself. “The leggings are fleece lined too. You’ll be the warmest omega there is.”
“I was just thinking about how cold it looks outside,” I say, glancing back out at it.
“Not for you,” he says smugly. “There’s a bedroom just behind me, and a bathroom.”
Unbuckling, I decide that questions as to why and how we’re in a private plane are invasive. I’m grateful for being able to travel like this, because I slept really well. If Silas wants to tell me more, that’s up to him.
Standing, I walk into the aisle and take the bag from him. The plane is set up so that the large club chairs are facing each other, and there’s a lot of space between them. I love this plane, I decide. I’ve never flown until now. It’s cool that this was my first experience.
It helps that I was too tired to feel nervous about taking off and landing.
Walking toward the back of the plane, I find the bedroom, smiling like a loon when I see there’s a door that closes. It’s funny how much something means to you until you’ve lost it.
Placing the bag on the bedspread, I open it to find everything Silas said there was inside of it. Changing quickly, I sigh in happiness as I find that the clothes fit perfectly and that the boots are comfortable. It feels like my body has been encased in a warm hug.