Chapter Six
JAX
It’s been over thirty-six hours since we found Lily, and I am running on literal fumes. Tommy, River and Elliot have taken turns visiting her in hospital. It's not that I haven't wanted to be there because I have more than anything—it's why nothing will stop me from seeing her today.
The doctors wanted to keep her in for observation, considering the nature of the assault. They say she was fortunate.Fortunate?I'm not sure if I see it quite that way. It never should have happened.
Richard, it turns out, has fucked off to France, taking Mia with him. Elliot is busy trying to hack into the main computer in his home office. Something tells me there's much more to this than we realise, and I'm determined to get to the bottom as soon as possible.
The police, as expected, have been pretty unhelpful. They want to interview Lily, but I refuse until she’s been discharged from the hospital, which, all being well, will be tomorrow morning. She's been in and out of it. Whether it's the pain relief they have her on or her body’s way of self-preservation, I'm not sure. But there was no way she was being left alone.
“Jax, you're dead on your feet,” Elliot saysas he approaches me in the kitchenwhile I make another black coffee.
I scrub my jaw, desperate for a shower and a shave, saying nothing in response.
“Why don't you go get some shut-eye, even if it's just a couple of hours, and then you can swap with Tommy at the hospital?”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. He’s right, of course, but I don't think I could sleep.
“When Lily's discharged, I don't want to bring her back here,” I state, taking a scalding sip of coffee—the burn welcome.
He arches an eyebrow and leans back against the counter while waiting for me to elaborate.
“I'll speak to her about it first. But I want her somewhere she'll be safe, somewhere no one will know about.”
He considers my words for a moment. “You mean like a safe house?”
I nod. “Yes, exactly that. I want it to look as though she's disappeared, keep her completely off-grid. Let her try to recover, at least physically.” I have no idea how much this has messed with her mentally. She was already holding back so much about her relationship with her stepfather. We've barely scratched the surface.
“You want me to see what I can sort out?” he asks, and I’m relieved that he's not questioning me over this.
“Yeah. One of us will need to stay with her around the clock, but I want everyone else here with me so we can work out the best course of action.”
He tilts his head in thought. “I think it should be Tommy,” he suggests, moving towards the fridge and pulling out a carton of orange juice.“She’s hardly spoken to me or River when she’s been awake. I think he’s who she needs right now.”
“I think so, too,” I agree, sipping on my coffee as Elliot pours himself a generous glass of juice .
“What's that?” River asks, his tone lacking humour and so at odds with his usual behaviour.
“That I think Lily should go off-grid, go to a safe house. Elliot suggested Tommy be the one to stay with her while we try to sort all this shit out.”
River’s eyes narrow briefly as he processes the information. “Yeah, that might be for the best,” he says, his voice laced with worry.
“He’s the only one Lily has spoken more than a few words to,” Elliot says as River walks towards him. “I think she needs him as much as he needs her.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he acquiesces before gently cupping the back of Elliot's neck and pulling him in for a quick, chaste kiss.
I knew they'd been seeing each other, but they always kept it private. Seeing this small moment of affection has something in my chest loosening, just a fraction.
“You look good with each other,” I say when he reaches for Elliot's glass and takes a swig. “About fucking time, I might add.”
River lets out a small beat of laughter, but it quickly fades like he'd forgotten himself for a moment. “Yeah, well, you can't fight the inevitable,” he says, his gaze fixed on mine. “Just like we couldn't fight our feelings for Lily.” And I know what he's insinuating—me being with Lily. We've not discussed what happens going forward, but I know we can’t keep ignoring the elephant in the room.
“Do you want to talk about me and Lily?” I question, refusing to let this fester or to put a wedge between us—they're my closest friends, my family.
“What do you mean, you and Lily? Just because you fucked her doesn’t make you suddenly have some claim over her.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “That's not what I said. Don’t put words into my mouth. ”
He raises his eyebrows. “Okay, so, what happens now?” he asks.
I shrug because, honestly, I have no idea. “I guess that all depends on Lily.”
“What do you mean? You want her to choose?”
I shake my head. “I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do. But what I do want is her safe and the cunt behind bars where he belongs, or better still, six feet under.”
“As do we, and just for the record, I'm not giving her up, and neither is Elliot,” he says resolute.
“She's not a fucking toy, River,” I state, my voice rising.
He lurches forward, and before I have time to process it, his fist collides with my jaw, catching my bottom lip and causing my head to snap back from the impact, my coffee spilling over the rim of my mug as I slam it onto the counter with more force than necessary. I wipe at the blood from my split lip with the back of my hand as Elliot holds River back against his chest in case he’s about to take another swing at me.
His breathing is heavy, his nostrils flaring. “I never said she was,” he spits, glaring at me. “We fucking care about her, but you—you just wanted to scratch an itch. You seem to forget we know you better than anyone, Jax.”
I clench my fists at my sides, my knuckles splitting open from when I punched the wall in Lily's room. But I don't care. I welcome the sting, because it’s that or losing my cool with him and right now, that’s not an option. Grinding my jaw, I flex my fingers and let out a breath.“At first, maybe,” I admit, my shame hard to ignore. “But I was only fighting the inevitable , like you said. And if we're honest, she's enamoured all of us. Deep down, what I wanted was her—not just to fuck, but on a deeper level.”
“So, what are you saying exactly?” Elliot asks, his fingers entwining with Rivers. “That you want her, too?”
I swallow and give a firm nod. “I do. ”
River lets out an incredulous laugh. “You’re being serious? You, Jackson Donovan, are willing to share her?”
Okay, that statement doesn't bother me half as much as it should. “It wouldn't be my first choice,” I admit. “But if it means getting to be with her, explore this further, then yeah, I would,” I reply with more confidence than I would have expected. Because it's true—I’m not a sharing man, but for her and with my brothers, if it means being with her, absolutely, there's no doubt in my mind.
“But isn't the bigger question, will Lily be okay with us sharing her?” River glances between me and Elliot.
Elliot lets out a heavy sigh. “Isn't it a bit of a moot point at the moment? She's still laid up in hospital, for crying out loud. And you two might as well be getting ready to piss all over her and mark your territory.”
I want to argue the point, but there's truth to his statement. “I’m not going to sit here and apologise. It’s hard not to feel possessive towards her.” If River sees my sincerity, maybe he’ll back off enough to notice that I actually care about her.
“But for now, Elliot is right. Her well-being is our priority, and I’m pretty sure that you’re as determined as I am to ensure that we don’t fucking fail her again.”
River nods. “That's something we can most definitely agree on,” he says. “But in the meantime, you might want to consider taking a shower. You smell and look like shit.”
His face might still be as hard as steel, but at least his voice doesn't hold the same sharp edge to it as before.
“Yeah, I know,” I admit, letting out a heavy sigh. My fatigue is a stern reminder of how long it’s been since I took a moment for myself. “But I’m not going anywhere until I know we’re good and on the same page.”
Elliot glances at River, a silent understanding passing between them before River’s expression softens slightly.
“We are,” River says, his voice resolute, his eyes moving to mine.
Elliot nods in agreement. “We all want the same thing for Lily,” he says. “We just need to be smart about it, which means taking care of ourselves too. So go, shower and try to get some sleep.”
I nod, feeling reluctant but knowing he’s right. As I turn to leave the kitchen, River calls after me. “Hey, Jax?” I pause, looking back at him. “We’ve got your back,” he says, a hint of his familiar smile playing on his lips. “Don’t forget that.”
“Thanks, River.”
Making my way to my room, I let the weight of everything that happened settle over me. The exhaustion is almost overwhelming, but I know I can’t afford to let my guard down. Not until Lily is safe and Richard is dealt with.
I turn on the shower in the bathroom, letting the steam fill the room. Stripping out of my clothes, I step into the shower and under the hot water, hoping it will wash away the tension and grime clinging to me.
As the water pounds against my skin, I close my eyes and think of Lily. I vow right here and now to do everything in my power to protect her. No matter what. I won’t let her down again.