Chapter Twenty-Two
Aubrey
We got to the gym a little over an hour later. I’d offered to come on my own and bring Gabe’s gym bag so he could run here and get started on his training, but he’d insisted he didn’t need the run.
He was aware of his training needs better than I was, and with how much this tournament meant to him, there was no way he would jeopardize his chances, but I couldn’t help the voice in my head telling me that was exactly what he was doing.
That this one missed workout could be the difference between him getting his dream gym or not, and he’d come to regret he chose me.
I hoped that voice was wrong because the rest of me liked to be chosen. More than I’d ever be willing to admit.
Just like I never would have admitted how much I didn’t want to spend my birthday alone.
I was twenty-nine. Nothing huge. Not a year worth throwing a party for or making a big deal of. None of my birthdays since college had been. Not since Nana died.
It wasn’t because she died I’d stopped celebrating. It had just been around the same time I’d started working in restaurants, and things like birthdays took a back seat.
But in some ways, it was easier to have work as an excuse than to think too much about how strange it would be to have a birthday dinner that didn’t end with Nana’s yellow cake and chocolate frosting.
One she’d made from scratch with love for me.
How final it would feel to know she would never give me another card with money for tattoos or tell Evan and me stories about when she was our age.
Birthdays were a celebration of life. A reminder we were still here, getting older.
Which was also a reminder of those who weren’t.
Most years, it made me not want to celebrate at all. This year, it felt like maybe I should. If for no other reason than both Nana and Mrs. Hardt would want me to. That, and a birthday spent sulking alone would do nothing to help my inspirational rut.
On the stairs out front, I waited for Gabe to unlock the door. He rooted through his gym bag while focused on his phone.
“Want me to find your keys?” I offered. He’d been texting on and off all morning, much more than usual. Whatever he was messaging about must have been important.
He tucked his phone away. “Sorry, I got it.”
He led me into the gym and back to the office. It wasn’t as chilly inside now that the weather was warming up, but it wasn’t exactly toasty either. He’d still need the space heater at night.
I bit my tongue to keep from offering my bed. Getting used to having him in my apartment in that way—to have a bedtime routine and share a morning shower, to kiss each other as we headed out the door—was too dangerous. Too much like a relationship instead of the friends with benefits this was.
I waited inside the door to the office and remembered one of those benefits in vivid detail.
The time last week he’d set the desk chair in front of the full-length mirror in the corner and sat me on his cock facing away so I could see him spread my thighs with his knees while I held my suction vibe to my clit.
I’d been fully naked while he’d still had his gym clothes on, his shorts scrunched down to free his length.
I’d come three times, throbbing around his fullness as he played with my breasts and shifted just enough to grind against the G-spot I used to be convinced I didn’t have.
When I couldn’t keep the vibrator in place any longer, he held it to me as my body flew to a level I’d never reached before, and my next orgasm soaked his lap.
It had been my first time squirting. My first time using a vibrator during sex. Just like last night had been my first time trying period sex.
Gabe was giving me every new experience I could imagine, and more I never would have known to wish for. Whenever our arrangement ended, I’d have to find a way to repay him. Maybe cook him lunches for eternity or maintain flower boxes outside the gym.
Maybe both.
It still wouldn’t be enough.
He reached into one of the desk drawers and withdrew a yellow gift bag adorned with multicolored butterflies. My heart swelled so much it hurt.
I grinned and held out my hands. “Give.”
Gabe rounded the desk and passed me the gift. “Don’t get too excited. You might not like it.”
That wasn’t possible, but I didn’t waste time arguing. I just tore into the glittery tissue paper and pulled out the present.
“They’re more for me,” he said as I examined the bright pink boxing gloves.
“Girls who box turn you on or something?” I teased.
He smirked. “You would. But these are so I can train you a little, teach you some self-defense. I’ll feel better about you spending nights alone at the prep kitchen if I know you’re ready with a few strong punches.
That, and I figured pretending the bag is Christian’s face might help you relieve some stress. ”
I hugged the gloves to my chest, incapable of finding the words to match the warmth brimming inside of me. He eyed me, waiting to see if I liked them, even as I strode forward and leaped into his arms.
The strength of his hold felt like coming home as I buried my face in his neck.
He ran one hand up my spine to cradle my head like I was precious.
Someone he wanted to protect even though we were no longer kids.
Someone he wanted to teach to be strong by sharing a part of his world. The part that meant the most to him.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Happy birthday,” he said back.
I knew he’d hold me until I asked to be put down. Whatever I wanted, he’d give me.
I didn’t let go just yet.
It turned out pretending to punch Christian’s face in was a great stress relief.
After wrapping my hands and helping me put on my new gloves, Gabe showed me how to punch the heavy bag. When my stance was set and I’d landed a few half-decent blows, he let me at it for real.
I barely moved it, but each pop of my glove against the bag brought satisfaction anyway, the power of my blows reverberating through my arms, making me feel alive. Powerful. Like I could take on anyone or anything that tried to mess with me and knock it on its ass.
Christian? Get the fuck out of here.
No-show new hires? Bam. Gone.
This goddamn menu that insisted on eluding me? It. Would. Not. Defeat. Me.
The anger and frustration of it welled up inside and exploded from my fists with each short burst. My heart rate rose, a flush warmed my face, and I sank into my body the way I did when I cooked and my brain almost didn’t have to take part.
No wonder Gabe loved this sport.
It helped I wasn’t getting punched back, but still.
After my arms tired out, I sat to the side and watched Gabe train. He switched between strength conditioning and boxing drills, some on the heavy bag I’d been punching (his hits landing significantly harder), but he also used others.
There was a teardrop-shaped bag that hung from the ceiling, a small round bag suspended in the air with ropes on top and bottom, and one that looked like someone had taped a boxing glove to the end of a spring and fastened it to a pole on the floor to make a boxing version of a jack-in-the-box.
It whipped toward his head from every direction as he bobbed and weaved, popping it with punch combos that sent it flying the other way.
When he was done, we grabbed food at the nearby diner, then took the light rail all the way west to one of my favorite hidden gems—a rock garden with cobblestone paths, a few small ponds, and mini waterfalls. Even on such a beautiful day, hardly anyone was here.
We climbed the rocks near one of the ponds, explored the short hiking path covered in ivy, and spread out our sweatshirts on the grass to lay in the sun, listening to the babbling water.
I almost fell asleep with my head on Gabe’s chest as he played with the ends of my hair, my skin warmed by the sun above and his body below.
I felt like a child again. Completely carefree in a way I hadn’t since Evan and I explored the old creek in our neighborhood and the stressors of life were still too far away to touch us.
It was the best day I’d had in a while.
When it was time for me to get ready for my birthday drinks with Evan, Gabe dropped me off at my apartment and walked me to my door. I fiddled with my keys, wanting to stretch out our time together as long as I could.
Really, I wanted to kiss him. His eyes dropped to my mouth like maybe he wanted that too, but we both held back as if unsure whether it was allowed.
Today had felt like a date, but it wasn’t. This was the “friends” part of friends with benefits. The part that didn’t kiss each other unless it would lead to sex, and there wasn’t time for that.
A kiss right now would be about nothing more than me wanting to kiss him. To feel his lips on mine and satisfy my desire to be connected to him. To show him how much today had meant to me. How much he meant to me.
More than he was supposed to.
More than I could ask him to accept.
Whether he knew my reason or not, he sensed I wouldn’t ask for a kiss, and true to our arrangement, he let me be the one to call the shot.
“Have fun at your birthday drinks,” he said. “Call me if you need anything.”
I nodded, my throat tied up.
His mouth tipped into a soft smile. “See you later.” He turned for the stairs and, way too quickly, was gone.
“Just for a minute,” Evan said, tugging me down the sidewalk toward Ardena. “I forgot something last time I was here, and Neela said she’d hold it for me.”
I stumbled behind him in my rhinestone boots and leather skirt, intentionally dragging my feet. “It’s after close,” I argued. “She’s probably gone by now.”